A quiz for you...

1. Condoleeza Rice is

A. Secretary of State
B. A former director for Chevron Oil
C. The name of a Chevron Oil Tanker
D. All of the above, no frickin lie.


2. I heard a caller on Open Source radio last night talking about knitting. Could that have been Blue Gal?

A. Blue Gal has plausible deniability, just like Karl Rove!
B. Blue Gal does not blog about knitting, until now.
C. When Blue Gal starts her blog about knitting, Condoleeza Rice, the Chevron Oil Tanker, will eat her ever fun so lovin' heart out..
D. All of the above, no frickin lie.

A favorite recipe

So far Blue Gal has avoided printing recipes (and plugging other bloggers) but the woman who made cat litter cake for her office deserves a medal and a beer, and the frigging Pillsbury Bake Off winner should kiss her butt.

The recipe is on the July 25 post here.

Just a couple questions...

1. What does the new Supreme Court appointee think about the Downing Street Memo?

2. What do the British police and bombing suspects think about Karl Rove's leak?

Huh? Oh, I guess Blue Gal is just so yesterday.

Life, the Universe, and Blue Gal's Birthday

So Blue Gal did not think this year's birthday (Jul 16), which she shares with Barbara Stanwyck, Mary Baker Eddy, and her own mother, was anything particularly special, until she remembered that her age is also the answer to life, the universe, and everything. Makes a certain amount of sense.

What doesn't make sense is that if Jude Law was gonna have an affair, why didn't he have it with Blue Gal? Oh, because then he would never, and I mean EVER, apologize for even one damn minute of it, Sienna.

Is Karl Rove goin' to jail? Yeah, the thought just gets our Blue panties wetter than a philandering Jude Law, dunnit? Well, it ain't gonna happen and Blue Gal don't even think he'll get fired over it. I mean, ex-squeeze me, but it seems to me you can't punish just one guy in this administration for sacrificing national security to further the President's political agenda. Isn't that what this whole fricking war is about? [But let me just groove for a minute on Karl sharing a cell with Bob Novak. Aaaah, that's good.]

Call her a cynic, but Blue Gal thinks these bozos just put up a united front and read the on-message card in their pocket (Which Karl wrote himself, natch) and the public gets bored and everybody just moves on to whose gonna win Survivor Sixteen. And don't get too cocky, Blues, the bastards learned this trick from the Clintons. So did Jude Law.

Stay cool, beautiful Anne. We love ya.

Oh, and today's my parents' 43rd Anniversary. As my dad would say, that's more than nine months, save ya some math.

Blue Gal in a Blue State

Yeah, yeah, Blue Gal's been blowing off her blog.

She's in a blue state without high speed internet. Strangely freeing is this.
She's getting the New York Times daily and the editorial page is making her feel like the world is sane, which is dangerous.
She's back from Boston and too busy with her children's laundry. (Memo to my favorite production coordinator: Don't get me started!)

So if yer missin' Blue Gal, fret not. Go get a FNYT. (Thanks, Bob.)

And the appropriate response is?

LONDON (Reuters) - Four years after the Sept. 11 attacks on New York and Washington, human rights are in retreat worldwide and the United States bears most responsibility, Amnesty International said on Wednesday, calling Guantanamo prison "the gulag of our times."

Folks, this used to be our President:



He won the fricking Nobel Peace Prize in 2002, and he not only knew what human rights are, he knew his responsibility as PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA was to fight for human rights around the world. Oh, and he also knows how to spell human rights. (Sorry for the cheap shot, Dubya, but Blue Gal is just a little PISSED OFF at you at the moment. She dug out her copy of Checkpoint she's so pissed off.) And lissen up, you red state lurking iceholes, Blue Gal has not forgotten the Iranian Embassy Hostage Crisis of the 1970's neither has she forgotten that none of those hostages were threatened with electrocution or shackled to a ceiling. Come to think of it, those hostages were Americans, and they were not blown up by a roadside I.E.D. while looking for non-existent W.M.D.'s either.

Okay, so this is the President we have now:



And Blue Gal's response to the whole thing is like when she was shaking a poopie diaper in the potty and some baby poop fell on her open copy of the Oprah Magazine where it talked about "living your best life." Yeah, she feels exactly like that.

Why Blue Gal is against global warming

Blue Gal has been invited by Henry (ooh, is it Baby Henry? I looove Baby Henry!) to join a virtual march against global warming. er. Okay. That way, I won't have to expel emissions by driving to the march. (Well, like most sentient creatures, Blue Gal does occasionally expel emissions on foot, but so far bgalrstate.blogspot.com is a fart joke-free zone, so let's keep it that way, kay?)

Any hoo, those of you who want to join me against global warming may do so here. (Thank me for not making a deposit in your email box.)

They asked Blue Gal why she was joining the march. Well, it's not 'cause Robert Kennedy Junior is such a hottie. No, Blue Gal reserves hottie activism for Brad Pitt (see banner ad on the sidebar below), who, by the way, she totally forgives for the leaving that low talent tv actress for the second* hottest soul mama on the planet.

Anti-global warming is a no-brainer, isn't it? Oh, that's why Blue Gal joined. Because, well, so is our President.

*readers of Blue Gal ain't askin' who the first is...

Dammit, Blue Gal likes Ike

"Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. There is a tiny splinter group, of course, that believes you can do these things. Among them are...a few other Texas oil millionaires, and an occasional politician or business man from other areas. Their number is negligible and they are stupid."
- President Dwight D. Eisenhower, 11/8/54

They also happen to be in charge of the whole damn country in 2005.

Blue Gal sends a smooch to David Sirota.

Please update your bookmarks/favorites!

Blue Gal has moved. The new url is

http://bgalrstate.blogspot.com

[Bloglet Subscribers will still get their subs at the new addy.]

This way, a certain state board of education will never find her.

Thanks much,

Blue Gal

Oh, all right, one more message to the State Dept of Education:

A peek inside Blue Gal's email...

So Blue Gal's readin her email and these two thangs just caught her brain at exactly the same time and she's thinkin, coincidence?

"Last Sunday, Pat Robertson went on national television to say liberal judges posed a greater threat to America than the Civil War, the Nazis or "a few bearded terrorists who fly into buildings."

And then Blue Gal got an email regarding this pleasant summer read. Mebbe Blue Gal will send a copy to Pat Robertson. [Be sure to read the Publisher Comments, folks.]

Doesn't anyone remember when Poppa Bush told Robertson to put up or shut up during the 1988 primaries?

We must have faith, though. Look at what's happening to our dear friends at ClearChannel. Evil will destroy itself...watch the money, people.

Now, children, there's no need to get nasty...

Three children who need to be in Blue Gal's time-out chair:

1. Sen. Salazar, when you say Focus on the Family is the antichrist, please don't back down so quickly. You may have been right the first time, and Blue Gal is prone to whiplash.

2. We don't know when you did this, Mr. President, but it was on camera. You're in time out. It was long ago? So were those pictures of Terri Schiavo smiling that were shown non-stop on Fox, Mr. President.



3. Whoever designed this. Yes, I know. Mommy laughed. That doesn't mean it's funny.

Screened?

"Okay boys, I've got my Daisy Duke's riding my crotch, since that's the universal signal for "female looking for love" but ooh, I must peek through the blinds while pointing my ass to the camera to signify my hope that there's no felons or marrieds answering my ad." They can screen for felons and marrieds but somehow forgot to screen their ad agency for intelligence.

And whenever she is tempted to feel jealous at the beautiful young bodies of this world, Blue Gal reminds herself that she has degrees from places this girl can't spell.

How could we make this stuff up?

Bill Frist, that erring on the side of life hero in the Terri Schiavo case, actually spent his years at Harvard Medical School pretending to adopt cats from the Humane Society and then killing them with his own medical experiments.

Wanna read the sick details? Here.

Blue Gal now orders everyone on the planet to refer to Bill Frist as "that cat killer."

And Blue Gal has one other question, people: Have we landed on another planet and we just didn't notice?

Oooh ma gawd...

Blue Gal smells a tipping point. John Kerry channels Jim Wallis and it's almost a Morning in America moment.

Watch the video here. How many "values" did you count?

And is Tom Delay just, gosh, so Nixonian? I mean, Blue Gal thought John Dean was sexy when she was ten years old!

Who said this wasn't gonna be fun, kids? We are watching the Repubs flush themselves...this once-every-thirty-years comet doesn't come along often enough, so don't miss it! This is gonna delay (no pun intended) old Daniel Schorr's retirement another five, betcha.

Blue Gal's new bumpersticker. Okay, I created it myself in Word:

One more Yankee transplant, gay-loving,
weak defense, big spending liberal for Jesus.

Should go over real big here in Birmingham, Alabama.

Sorry, I like my Catholicism over easy.

Blue Gal was feeling pretty good when she got an email (fer real) from her buddy Michael Moore, ya know, just checking on me and wondering what his next step should be (fer real). The text of his email is as follows

Friends,

How's it going? Ready for the next step?

Let me know what you've been up to and any ideas you have about what our next move should be (write me at the addresses below).

Meanwhile, I'll be in conclave this week handing out goodie bags and running for pope. Wish me well!

Yours,

Michael Moore
MMFlint@aol.com
Mike@michaelmoore.com
www.michaelmoore.com

Oh Mike honey, what happened? Fahrenheit 9-11 condoms in the goodie bags? What were you thinking?

Blue Gal was so hoping for a laid back church, ya know, follow up John Paul with a finger snappin' Pope George Ringo, with sidebets on Pope Giblets.

But this! Benedict the Sixteenth and he's like, from something outta Hogan's Heroes? A friendly Nazi? Bavarian? and um, stricter than Sister Mary Queen of Hearts back at Our Lady of Perpetual Brainwashing? Off with their heads theology?

Sweet Jesus. And ya know Blue Gal means that literally.

Are we having immigrant problems yet?

Memo to those wacky Minutemen:

Ya know, everything would be much better in this country if the natives had spent more on border control and had stronger anti-immigration policies.



See the full size map here.

Best question I've heard this week.

....how about "erring on the side of life" by bringing our soldiers safely home from Iraq?

Blog de la Resistance is after my own heart. She's a knitter who romances an old fart Norwegian, too. My missing evil twin, n'est-ce pas?

She and I will have to fight over the 'evil' part on a later post.

Confrontations and delay, er, deLay

Blue Gal had a confrontation with a co-worker over the whole Schiavo thang, and it just ticked her off until the co-worker said Fox News was a "balancer" with _all_ the other news media. Then Blue Gal noticed co-worker's skull was empty, and she stopped being mad all of a sudden. Hmm.

The Raisin has the privilege of not associating with many skull empties. One of his associates recently emailed him:

I tend to agree with you that any announced effort by DeLay or others to curb court jurisdiction, or to reallocate between state courts and the feds, will not get off the ground... And there may be another reason. Even DeLay has to realize that any in-depth discussion of the judicial function -- on cable, in the papers, or in other forums -- is likely over time to educate the American public about the legitimate role of the courts, in both common law and constitutional adjudication, and eventually would reveal the ad hoc lunacy of what Frist and others (including some Dems) tried to pull off recently. I may be naive in my belief that the marketplace of ideas, when dealing with accurate information and composed of more that sound bites and shouting, ultimately generates good sense in the American people. I question whether DeLay would want to take that risk. I think you're right; he and others will ratchet up the demagoguery of judicial selection so that they can throw around accusations about judicial activism, without generating careful inspection of who the real activists were this last time around: certainly not the judges!

Blue Gal does not think Raisin's friend is naive at all. It may take decades, but we cannot be outFoxed forever. And we activists are not sitting on our skulls (or in front of our televisions) while we are watching for the long cold night of shame that awaits our nation.

Blue Gal's been busy...

Blue Gal has not posted in a while, as she has been busy travelling to see Raisin relatives in South Dakota.

She has also been in mourning. Lew Alquist, well, I've loved him since I was thirteen years old. Forgive me, Lew, I just can't find the words.

Lew would have found dark humor in the Terri Schiavo case. He did not believe in any dichotomy between man and machine, and his message at work said he brought in food and water for the answering machine...

The Atlanta-based 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals said it best on this one:

...in a scathing attack on politicians who got involved in the case, the court added that the White House and lawmakers ``have acted in a manner demonstrably at odds with our Founding Fathers' blueprint for the governance of a free people - our Constitution.''

I just wish those judges could put Fox News off the air as an unconsitutional public menace. But as Fox management would be quick to point out, there is that first amendment thang, isn't there? Well, maybe Blue Gal doesn't love freedom, didja ever think of that, huh? At least Blue Gal thinks freedom of speech should not apply to lying and exploiting, plus anything related to Michael Jackson.

Don't worry so much, Mr. President

Dubya is trying to get us "younger" workers worried about Social Security. Blue Gal gave up thinking she's gonna see any FDR style check years ago. That's fer what she married the Raisin.

Ooh ooh. Young workers should be allowed to "cash in" on the stock market with their "guaranteed" benefit? Huh? You mean like when the tech bubble burst in 2001?

Interesting that 2001 was the exact year Congress allowed younger workers to invest in the stock market with tax deferred Roth accounts, so, um, I think we've covered that, Mr. President.

Blue Gal is amazed. Even most Americans are smart enough to see through this one.