Anyway, many women are having fun at Brownback's Facebook page, informing him of the progress of their menstrual cycles and seeking lady part advice from him.
Here's my letter. Warning, this letter is actually much more sacriligious than I am in real life, but my guardian angel, who looks just like a healthy Amy Winehouse, told me that was okay given the circumstances.
Dear Governor Brownback, Several years ago I had to have surgery on my uterus to remove fibroid tumors that were preventing me from holding on to any pregnancy. The doctor (who could have been lying with impunity, who knows?) said the fibroid tumors were acting as an IUD and actually rejecting any fertilized egg in my womb.
Did GOD put an IUD in my uterus?
Was God giving me multiple abortions while I was desperately trying to get pregnant?
Maybe all my fertilized eggs pre-surgery had Down's syndrome, and God aborted them because of that?
After the operation, I gave birth to three white, legitimate children who go to Christian Sunday School. Should I tell them to wear little gold plated transvaginal ultrasound wands around their necks, to celebrate all the abortions God gave me before they were born?
The surgery was paid for by Blue Cross/Blue Shield of Alabama. So was the birth control my husband and I used to determine the timing of bearing my three white, legitimate, Christian Sunday School-going children.
Important question: Can the taxpayers get a refund for all that birth control that they never paid for? Because, you know, that could solve yer state budget crisis right there.
Seriously, Governor Brownback, and I mean this 100% sincerely, may God have mercy on your soul.
Frances Langum, Springfield Illinois