A modest proposal on "needs" testing Medicare

I'm waking up to NPR these days.

And this morning's story on Medicare cracked me up.  "Health policy analyst Jeff Goldsmith, who has studied the boomer generation" had this to say about the boomers coming on to Medicare this year:

"I think the baby boomers do not have the same type of emotional, almost galvanic skin response to Medicare politics that their parents did, because I don't think the typical baby boomer has thought for more than five minutes about the effect of Medicare on their lives, because they're not old," Goldsmith says. "And Medicare is perceived as something for old people."

The boomers are not old!  And NEVER WILL BE!  That's why they keep electing congressmen over and over again into their 90's.  As long as your Senator is, say, 20 years older than YOU, you're young!  You're young!

Infographic:  Your Congressman is Old.

So here's my modest solution.   Medicare begins a Alternative Program.  Call it MediYoung -- for younger Medicare recipients!   That'll get 'em.

And here's the deal:  It's a $250.00 copay per incident plus a thousand dollar deductible for anything beyond annual checkups and screenings -- but it covers Botoxic and Duvajerm and anti-aging hypnosis whatever up to three times a year.   So the terminally vain get a little discount on their vanity surgery and the taxpayer gets a big discount on anything else that happens to them.    And once they sign up, they can't switch out of it, ever.

But this is such bullshit.  Does that analyst know how many 50-64-and-eleven-months Americans are COUNTING THE DAYS until they FINALLY have single payer, not for profit health insurance?  Because now they have NONE?  Give me a break.

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Speaking of vanity, I notice the Kardashian's predatory lending debit card for Princesses has been discontinued.   Here's the deal:

First there are the upfront costs. For a six-month card customers pay $59.95, or $99.95 for a 12-month card. (The median fee for similar, non-Kardashian-festooned products is $10.) After those six or 12 months, there is the $7.95 monthly fee to keep using it. Users pay a $1.50 fee to withdraw cash at an ATM and a $1 fee to check their balance. They pay $1.50 to speak with a customer service representative. If they lose their card, they have to pay $9.95 to replace it. If they want to cancel their card, they have to pay $6.

Wow, how stupid do you have to be to look rich?

But thanks Kardashians! I always love an opportunity to pull out these babies:

The Karl Marx Mastercard:

The Che Guevara Visa:

And my personal favorite, the Emma Goldman mugshot Discover Card ("The Card with Payback tm")