Wednesday, December 12

Blue Gal's Real World Curriculum


Tagged with a meme (by request--thanks Zaius) because I actually thought this one was cool...

"Write about 5 classes you would like to take if you could make up your own curriculum. AND - and this is important, ONE of them must come from your tagger's list."


Zaius, I wanna take this one:

3978. Better Living Through Time Travel (3 credits) MWF 10:30-?

One of the enduring wishes of us history geeks is the ability to travel through time to see first hand the epochs and events that interest us the most. Well now you can, with this amazing, single-semester course! Learn the secret art of space-time continuum manipulation! Explore your chosen field fully versed in the language of your choice! No Latin? No problem! Discover the heretofore unknown nuances that prevent the paradoxical alteration of history itself that so much bad sci-fi has warned us about! So go and step on that bug with impudence! And just remember, the next time some wanker says that no one knows the real reason for the disappearance of human culture in the future, you can say, "You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!" Space craft necessary for said travel not included.

And mine. Some of these I want to take, some I want others to take, some I have already taken:


SOC 42DD Teh Hott For Any Weight Tu Th 9pm

Students will be assigned a private dressing room with a three way mirror. They will stand before said mirror for 30 minutes, naked, and yell affirmations about how do-able they are. Extra credit will be given to any man who mentions his gorgeous gut, or woman who celebrates her booty-ful butt.

POL 333 Eating Out Like a Guy Tu Th 12-1:30

Fuck chardonnay. Fuck boneless skinless chicken breasts. Fuck salad as an entree and especially fuck dressing on the side. In this course you will learn how to order a blue cheeseburger on the onion roll with a Pabst Blue Ribbon on draft. During the dinner field trip, you will order the ribeye (medium rare) with a red wine that doesn't come from Australia, ya pussy!

For bonus credit, students will report on the difference between a "drink" and a "belt."


ENG 3795 Sit Down, Tune Out, and Read. MWF 10-10:30

Mandatory attendance required at all sessions. Participants will enter a well-lit room, sit down on their choice of comfortable chairs, and read whatever book they want for thirty minutes in a row. Laptops, cellphones and I-Pods will be confiscated at the door.


CompSci 1 Rebooting and other "advanced" computer skills. F 2:30

Students will "re-learn" logical skills that they already know, but that do not come to the forefront of their thought when presented in the context of "I'm working on a computer." For instance, a user would never type on a typewriter without inserting paper in the roller, nevertheless the same user calls tech support when their printer "won't print," even though the printer simply needs paper.

Warning: this course is taught by low-social skill, tech support professionals who already have your password. Any questions asked in class will be answered via email/chat from an undisclosed location, but you will hear via text the professional tech support eye-roll that says "what, are you stupid?" Then the tech support professional will remotely reboot your computer without saving your work.


By the way I don't tag people. If you want to do this feel free, and I don't mind linky love and credit in the least. :-D

8 comments:

  1. I don't know whether it will please or horrify you, but the local high school has something a lot like
    ENG 3795: they actually make kids sit still and read.

    My son and I both thought that was kind of odd (but nice). I guess, upon further thought, that kids don't necessary have any other time to do that. Hmmmm. What scary places the inside of their brains must be!

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  2. I actually like Australian reds, but I always fight someone after I drink one, just so no one things I'm a...you know.

    I also think Blue Galish would have been a popular major!

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  3. I couldn't agree with you more, Blue Gal.

    I'm thinking tomorrow's blog for me will be a continuation of this fascinating meme.

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  4. I've got POL 333 down. What I need is POL 111 Eating Out Like a Gal.


    BAC

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  5. Re: Tech Support -

    One of my favorite acronyms is PIBKAC.

    Problem
    Is
    Between
    Keyboard
    And
    Chair

    It comes right before RTFM.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thursday, my favorite tech support acronym is

    id-10-t

    As in we have a user with an id-10-t problem.

    Low social skills? You betcha! Watching over-paid overlords squirm in their comfy chairs never gets old.

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  7. i took that time travel course, but i failed the final until i went back in time and gave myself the answers. but then i created a paradox by taking out a student loan before i even registered and the universe blew up.

    sorry.

    ReplyDelete

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