Tuesday, December 18

How come nobody told me?



This year's not-religious Christmas Stamps are all about da KNITTING....

Just got back from Breakfast with Santa and approximately 71 Kindergarten pupils, including my own.

One young lady, not my own, had been forced (I must assume) to wear what can only be called a Red Velvet Monstrosity Dress.

Santa pulled the young victim and her horrible dress onto his lap.
"Well hello there, pretty lady. What a lovely dress. You know, Mrs. Claus has a dress just like yours up at the North Pole."
I swear I could have slipped Santa the tongue right there and then.


BTW Red Velvet Monstrosity Dresses (RVMD)
are not to be confused with
Positively Hideous Christmas Sweaters (PHCS),
which are frequently worn by
mothers of daughters with RVMD.

12 comments:

  1. "I saw Blue Gal kissin' Santa Claus..." :)

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  2. I find the hideous Christmas sweaters a special domain of elderly women. They come complete with pocket containing ubiquitous wad of folded up kleenex.

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  3. And don't shoot me for saying this, but I think every teacher is issued at least two PHCS with their teaching certificate.

    They can't really enjoy wearing those sweaters, can they?

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  4. pissed in NYC9:18 PM

    Back about six years ago I worked in house at the corporate headquarters of a now Bermuda based corporation (filthy), and one of the directors--an idiot who was sleeping with a higher up for her position--regularly wore PCHSs...and similar sweaters for other holidays. I assume the power that be who she blew for her position got off on it. Sick, no?

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  5. As someone who has worked in an elementary school, i have to agree with DCup here. I think it is a requirement that teachers own at least two if not more PHCS.

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  6. i've been using the knitted stamps for all my cards!

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  7. Anonymous9:55 AM

    Okay, here's one for you: A knit Mr. Hanky, the Christmas Poo, at http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=5157304

    OG (via Mrs. OG)

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  8. StonyPillow7:21 PM

    Please don't shoot me in the face for mentioning this, BG, but the Christmas knitting stamps are by far the ugliest ones since at least the Ford administration.

    Glad they chose knitting -- but the idea was executed terribly.

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  9. I don't expect the Post Office to get knitting. No way. But when the word "knit" appears in public I always hafta change my panties.

    And D-cup you are so right about the teachers. But I try to remember it's a language opportunity for special needs kids in the schools to learn what holidays are. "See the big ugly reindeer on my sweater? That means Christmas!" On second thought, maybe there's a better way...

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  10. At one school, the headmaster's wife wore her Christmas sweater year-round...

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  11. I think that really was the "real" Santa Claus. He made that little girl feel like a million bucks for that moment in her life.

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  12. exactly p.o.p. ...a little girl in an ugly dress felt as important and elegant as Mrs. Claus. He took her to another world in such a sweet way. I loved it.

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