Friday, December 7

Mitt is just gonna have to wait...

Mitt Romney realizes he sent his sons to Blue Gal, the blog, to read a promised post
about his own self, and instead she sends them to an online pornography poll.

I've got a lot going on today. Nothing's wrong, just way busy. Way.

So while you're waiting (and I am too) for my Mitt Romney post, fill out this PBS Pornography Poll sent me by an anonymous benefactor.

The results prove what I already suspected. During times when they could be thinking about God or running for President or avoiding military service*, many men age 21-30 spend several hours a week masturbating to internet pornography.

And their cohort also makes up the majority of respondents to this particular survey.

Confused? Allow me to summarize the surprising** results: young men are more likely than old men or women of any age to brag about their pornography-enhanced masturbation habits via an online poll.

In the interests of this post, I took the poll my own self. I answered all of the questions without hesitation except one. And I won't tell you which made me hesitate.

*Actually you can avoid military service and masturbate to internet pornography at the same time, if you use gay porn and brag about it. Works for me. I mean...oh nevermind.

**I mean, I was totally surprised that Mitt Romney's sons actually took a break from internet porn (and yeah, Worlds of Warcraft and Halo, I know I know) in order to fill out the poll. Thanks, guys!


  1. Anonymous2:29 PM

    It's difficult to describe how I handle a porn site.

    It has to be very hard for most people to work through a sexual survey.

    I assume that young men have more time on their hands, as opposed to us old farts that keep up our strong relationships.


  2. do you think mitt's 5 sons masturbate while driving that van around Iowa pandering for votes for their daddy?

    mitt would have trouble spanking the monkey himself since i have been told Ken dolls do not have genitalia

  3. I don't know about Mitt coming to grips with S-M-U-Tee, but Bill O'Reilly loves him some panties.


  4. Tengrain6:58 PM

    Even if it is for PBS, what if Nina Totenberg reads it -- or worse yet, what if she passes along my test to Ann Tayor?

    Oh, the shame of it all.



  5. Blue, the pic should have an arrow instead of bubbles ;-)

  6. That's a lot of calloused fingers and palms. Damn.


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