Thursday, December 3

Take the Christmas Readiness Quiz!

An encore post from 2006:

Perhaps the best giftbag ever: image stolen from the always wonderful Is Richmond Burning?

And because I just can't resist the temptation to turn my blog into a cheesy women's magazine feature, here's a bonus quiz! Find out just how much Christmas you can handle!

Give yourself one point for each thing you do during the Christmas season, then see how you score!

1. Hang Christmas lights outside.
2. Order Personalized Christmas Cards
3. Have over 100 family photos printed
4. Compose Annual Christmas Letter.
5. Create laser printer labels, complete with year, for the back of the photos.
6. Buy and wrap all of the presents your family will give this year.
7. Don't forget the kid's teachers, the mailman, your pastor (if any), and your spouse's secretary.
8. Buy two sets of Christmas stamps, religious (see minister above) plus snowflake so your heathen friends won't be offended. By the stamp. On your holiday card.
9. Buy 18 snowflake pencils and sets of three snowman and Santa stickers for goodie bags for your child's school Christmas party.
10. Bake Cookies for the Parent Appreciation (?) Lunch at Cub Scouts.

Now score yourself:

7-10 points - Well, congratu-f-ing-lations, you put Mrs. Claus to shame, ya elfin beeyotch!
4-6 points - Screw the black box warning: you need Prozac, in the limited edition red and green capsules!
1-3 points - Thanks for putting up the outside lights, honey.
Zero points - No offense, but you think you'll keep her, huh? Asshole.


  1. I only scored two. But that's pretty good for an atheist, I guess.

  2. Heh Heh Heh, I'm am asshole.

  3. So, I got rid of our fake christmas tree. Can I have negative points?

  4. I've been thinking about these tasks. Of course, there's still three weeks until any sort of deadline. I work better under pressure. Wait. I retired in April. Fuck this shit.

  5. Wah.

    Thanks for the letdown, BG.

    And to think that I used to compose XMAS letters for a massive list with color pics.

    I got a zero this year.


  6. If you want, you can do as i did when i was depressed, it's simple. Turn your troubles over to the Lord Jesus Christ. Realy works and makes you feel brand new.
    Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
    For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.
    For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?
    For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then he shall reward every man according to his works.
    Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom.

  7. AS time goes on we find more corners to cut.
    Last year I managed to make a large peace sign light with a blue rope light & hung it in the window.

    Wish someone made a professhnul' one....
    but we needed a peace sign then & we need one now.

    WE manage to muster up enough energy to put up the eternal tree.... but only put lights on it.... dragging out ornaments was voted out by consensus.

    I scored 0.5

  8. I don't even get that worked up over my birthday.



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