Friday, September 30

Not alone this weekend...

Blue Gal has discovered she is not alone. Birmingham Blues not only gave BG a nice linky, she sent all her southern blue girlfriends over for a visit. Hey girls, sit back, have a cuppa iced tea (us Yankees are rebels 'cause we drink it unsweet) and stay a while...

Since one of these new visitors even offered to learn to knit in exchange for a visit from Blue Gal, she deserves special mention. Intous, honey, like Blue Gal told ya, we just can't have too many smart funny lesbians 'round here. She'll be all the more valuable once she casts on twenty and does a stockinette swatch. Natural fibers on nickel plated needles, girls, or you're outta here.

From intous we get this timely message:


Keep the faith and have a nice weekend. Rumor has it next week CFAV is gonna do a number on Intelligent Design. Can't wait.

Thursday, September 29

Don't get cocky, lefty bloggers!


All right, all right. Blue Gal does appreciate that after all this deLay we lefty bloggers deserve a little hoopla. But don't get too cocky. Remember, Blue Gal is a believer, and if your blog points out that this indictment is proof that there may be a God after all even Pat Robertson might take you seriously.

Blue Gal hopes her readers find it comforting that The Angry Buddhist is praying for us.

Keep the faith.

Wednesday, September 28

Thanks for the feedback, Karl!


In Awards News:

Several Blue Gal readers have sent in suggestions for the "Don't Sugarcoat It" award...keep 'em coming! The criteria are, which may be changed by Blue Gal without notice:

1. The item must come from a blog on a free server, in other words, the blogger must be in a position to be eternally grateful to Blue Gal for her notice. Bill Maher is a good no-sugarcoater, but he does not know Blue Gal exists, YET.

2. The item must express its emotion in no uncertain terms. We want raw language here, not necessarily obscene, though. And yes, spelling does count.

3. Blue Gal may copy the post to her own blog, or link to the winning blog as she sees fit. She will in any event give full credit to the winning blogger and provide Blue Gal readers with the url. She will also whereever possible add a comment to the winning post to let them know they won.

Using the criteria above, you will notice that Pre$$titutes, which is a good website and whose post

"ABC's political tipsheet The Note
is a stinking repository of Bush-licking Pre$$titution

is certainly in the spirit of the Don't Sugarcoat It Award, is disqualified on the basis of Rule number one. Sorry guys.

In other news, y'all know Blue Gal never misses an opportunity to mention the word "panties". So imagine her delight and surprise that the blogosphere is running a clean, new panty drive for Katrina victims, called Operation Panty Drop. Blue Gal will be giving to this and to...

Bob Casey for United States Senate (PA)

Blue Gal has a message for Rick Santorum. What do you think it means that your opponent is uploading YOUR televised interviews on his website to show people why they should vote for HIM? Blue Gal wouldn't be taking that as a compliment, Rick.

Tuesday, September 27

That Blue Gal, she is very "intelligent"...


Blue Gal is often asked where she stands on intelligent design.

Blue Gal stomps all over intelligent design.

Blue Gal thinks intelligent design is...well... SATAN.

Anything that distracts Christians from the unending work of cleaning up after their own sins,

Anything that distracts Christians from loving their neighbors,

Anything that tempts Christians to argue something just so silly in the public sphere rather than pray and repent in the private one,


Ah, there is your answer. Satan. Satan could never make Christians, true Christians, into blatant sinners. So Satan gets Christians all bent out of shape over something that even in the short run just doesn't matter.

Blue Gal advises Christians to leave the creation of carbon-based life forms to the science fiction writers, and yes, the scientists, if that is their thing. She has been listening to the posthumous writings of Douglas Adams and he was an atheist and an evolutionist and still found the ability within his God-created soul (sorry Douglas, Blue Gal just has to editorialize) to be very funny about it. And if there were such a silly thing as intelligent design funny smart men like Douglas Adams would not have died so young.

Speaking of funny smart men who died too young, much too young, today would have been the birthday of Lewis Alquist. In his memory (and Blue Gal will remember him every day for the rest of her life) please "dredge up a really strange idea and laugh about it." (hat tip: Mr. Pain) Lew would appreciate that. Here is a really strange idea that Lew made happen, on top of a tall building in Phoenix, Arizona. He called it "Citizen Eyes."


Monday, September 26

This is Banned Books Week


Today is the start of Banned Books Week. Blue Gal figgers most of her readers are literate free speecher types, so no preachin' to the choir. Kudos to Alibris and Tattered Cover, who feature banned books this week. Where are you, Amazon? Hellooo?

Blue Gal would like to ask her readers this week to go out and get a library card if they don't have one already. If you have a library card, go visit your library. Libraries are really nice. We don't go there often enough, ya know.

And Blue Gal loves this afterthought from today's Borowitz Report:

Elsewhere, recovering from aneurism surgery on his knees, Vice President Dick Cheney said that repair work on his knees would be done by the Halliburton Company at a cost of 12.8 billion dollars.

Today's "Don't Sugarcoat It" award goes to The Sappho Manifesto for this inspirational image.

Sunday, September 25

Baghdad is a friend of mine.
And Katrina, you are no Baghdad.


Blue Gal was busy getting ready for a party yesterday and did not march on Washington.

And before you think that Blue Gal is just a vain silly party girl and not politically serious, the party celebrated the 40th anniversary of the ACLU of Alabama.

Over all, the party was good. Blue Gal got to see the two deeply religious women who, at great personal and professional sacrifice (both are lawyers in Montgomery) put their names on the lawsuit against Roy's Rock, Judge Roy Moore's Ten Commandments monument. So-called Christians left voicemails for these women to tell them to "watch their backs." Ahem.

She also got to see a very brave man who was once Rosa Park's lawyer. The history of the ACLU and the fine people associated with it in this state (Alabamian Helen Keller was a founder of the national ACLU) is something of which Blue Gal is very proud.

Not too proud of the keynote address. Memo to the head honcho: You do good work, but the deaths from Katrina cannot be directly traced to the fact that blacks don't get enough welfare. Meebe that horn plays real good up in New York City (satan's lair) but a lot of your audience here in Dixie were kinda shakin' their heads.

Readers may have noticed Blue Gal kinda left Katrina alone. She's relieved, actually, that the Impeach Bush Coalition has veered away from hurricanes and is concentrating on Iraq. See, according to Blue Gal, Dubya did not order the storms in the Gulf Coast. But he sure ordered the storms in the Persian Gulf, and he committed impeachable offenses in the process. The Brouhaha has a good post on this, btw.

Today's Blue Gal "Don't Sugarcoat It" award goes to profmarcus, for his lovely post, "Fat-ass, blowhard, irrelevant, lying Novak lies some more."

Saturday, September 24

Need I say Moore?

photo is from Rad Geek People's Daily

If this sumbitch is elected Governor of Alabama by the idiot bigoted foaming mouth Baptist wing of the Alabama Republican Party (bless their hearts), Blue Gal and her family are leaving and taking our brains with us.

Oh. Turns out Blue Gal wins the "Don't Sugarcoat It" award for today.

The only good thing about all this is that those that care about the GOP are afraid. Very afraid.

Thursday, September 22

To honor and to cherish


Pardon Blue Gal for being such a buttinski, but when The New Yorker magazine starts advertising wedding rings for same-sex couples, it is time for Rick Santorum, the four out of five Baptist divorcees who want gays to stop undermining the sanctity of marriage, and the rest of the so-called Christian family values coalition to


Blue Gal is not gay. But she likes this site anyway.

This happens to be National Santorum Awareness Week at one of Blue Gal's favorite "alternative" websites, Conservatives for American Values. Those of you who've been reading CFAV for longer than Blue Gal know, it's just such a special website full of insights and carefully worded posts, but like many blogs the comments are just as funny, er, that is, informative, as the blog itself. Blue Gal wishes CFAV many successful years of blogging and, well, she's praying for you.


Wednesday, September 21

Blue Gal's guide to looking gouge-ous...


Ooh! Ooh! Blue Gal's panties can hardly take this excitement. There are Democratic governors going after those big nasty oil companies, and demanding a refund for that three dollar a gallon gas Blue Gal put in the 'ol minivan! Bonus! Do Humvee drivers get a double refund? After all, they have two gas tanks.

Blue Gal can't think where she's gonna spend all that money...or how she's gonna get it. Guess she's just gonna hafta open up a PayPal account after all.

In other news, here's grandmaster Bill Clinton on the economy:

What Americans need to understand is that ... every single day of the year, our government goes into the market and borrows money from other countries to finance Iraq, Afghanistan, Katrina, and our tax cuts...We have never done this before. Never in the history of our republic have we ever financed a conflict, military conflict, by borrowing money from somewhere else...We depend on Japan, China, the United Kingdom, Saudi Arabia, and Korea primarily to basically loan us money every day of the year to cover my tax cut and these conflicts and Katrina. I don't think it makes any sense. (thanks to Bush Tracker)

Blue Gal appreciates Mr. Clinton tres mucho, but trips up on the words "Americans need to understand" and "don't think it makes any sense." Since when did either of these things actually occur?

Check out this cartoon, which says it all.

Tuesday, September 20

Blue Gal's Mailbag


Time to check the Blue Gal mailbag:

Sp3ccylad (which is pronounced specky-lad), sent a brief hello and said,

"OK - I'm rehearsing for a show tonight so this has to be a quickie (ahem)."

Break a leg, Sp3ccylad, but just remember: quickies with Blue Gal are always longer than you plan for and shorter than you wish.

Which brings her to ariadneslabyrinth, who asks,

"Now that you're big and famous, can I have Olbermann and the faf?"

Well, first of all, what's with the "big" comment? Blue Gal is much thinner on the internet.

Second of all, no. Well, mebbe we can share Olbermann. He looks like he could use a little two on one. But Faf? Faf and Blue Gal have a very special relationship, based on mutual respect, The Salvation Army, and sweetened condensed milk. It just wouldn't be, well, kosher to share The Happy Pizza.

Finally, John Kerry wrote to ask,

"Please take a moment right now to read the entire speech."

John, honey, Blue Gal really loves ya, but she doesn't have time in her next life to read the entire speech. Sheesh...

Sunday, September 18

Check out our research...

graph post crooks and liars

The chart above shows the expected increase in profits for Halliburton before and after the federal government scuttled prevailing wage laws in the post-Katrina Southeast. (thanks Queerjoe).

Oops, wrong chart. This chart shows what can happen when Blue Gal gets a mention at Crooks and Liars. Green is hits, Blue is new hits. Blue Gal is used to getting hit on, but not over 900 hits in one day. Considering what Blue Gal had to do to get the mention, but she can't figger it out, she just wrote about Cheney, and laughed a little, and well,

It's all a little bit humbling.

Blue Gal's darling husband objected to the photo of our Vice because of the crude term beneath it, but then darling husband lives in a cave and did not know that Vice used that term on the floor of the United States Senate. That changes everything.

Blue Gal went to church this morning and prayed for Vice. Really. She also prayed for those Christians who genuinely thought they were doing the Right Thing when they voted for this administration. She feels so sad sometimes.

She doesn't like this administration's brand of "robust" Christianity, but we all have to share this planet together, and it just doesn't seem right to wish them all out on their butts just because a couple thousand soldiers died over a lie about WMD's while Vice's seat is being kept warm at companies that profit from the war and now his friends at Halliburton are set designers for the Katrina clean up which means forget the EPA and the prevailing wage laws and any other inconveniences and let's just clean up the shit, okay?


Blue Gal is losing her temper. On the Lord's Day. Time to take a deep breath and think about someone less objectionable, but then Rick Santorum comes to mind and...

You know, it looks like he's gonna be out on his butt. That's better.

Blue Gal calms down a little when she realizes the great friends she has in the blogosphere. Looked at the 'ol sidebar and realized the good twin needs her own spot there, because when Fux News spends an entire afternoon talking about de la Resistance's kidnapping, (because she is white and rather pretty, btw) loyal readers have been warned...Blue Gal and Second Nature did it. We're knitting. Leave us alone.

And Dena reads Blue Gal before she drinks her morning coffee. Blue Gal can't believe it, and said so. Dena's reply:

Remember Thurber's essay on near-sightedness? when I read your blog before coffee, and then again when the world comes into focus and I find out what you *actually* meant. Double the bang for the buck, gf!

Yeah, Blue Gal has friends like that. Friends that quote Thurber. Friends that Totally Get It when BG says, "Joining Mensa to meet men was the stupidest thing I ever did." Betcha Vice and Rick Santorum don't have girlfriends like that. 'Course, meeting Rick Santorum at a Mensa meeting would be like meeting Hitler at schul. But I digress...

Saturday, September 17

Toxins are sooo relaxing...


By now Blue Gal figgers everyone's heard that Katrina means we get to chuck any environmental standard that might be inconvenient to the no-bid Halliburton clean-up crews, or anybody else. Anywhere.

Blue Gal thinks that's great! Hey, she's no hypocrite. She relaxed her own environmental standards after her first child was born, and now that she has three...well, let's just say she's satisfied if her blog looks good.

Everyone also knows that Blue Gal kidded around that Halliburton would get no-bid contracts to clean up after Katrina, and then it actually happened.

So Blue Gal feels free to "kid" again: Yo, Dick, where's the undisclosed location of Halliburton's asbestos stash? On its way to NOLA new construction? Great way to ditch it, dude!


Friday, September 16

Leave a message at the tone...


Word is out that Hillary Clinton will be phoning liberal bloggers sometime in the near future, ya know, to find out from the people how to run her successful campaign. Blue Gal imagines this will be much like her "listening tour" of New York when she came in as a carpetbagger.

Speaking of carpetbaggers, William Weld, who gets the "Republicans Blue Gal Loves" medal because he's written more books than Dubya has read (ever), he stood up against the Clinton impeachment, and oh, you know, the intelligence thing, is simply too tall to be Governor of New York. Blue Gal has been book shopping with Mr. Weld, and she oughta know.

Miiiz Clinton hasn't called Blue Gal yet, but when she does, BG will have just one respectful, deferential question for the former First Lady:

How will the Democratic Party ever survive the fact that people hate you?

Go 'head, click on the word of your choice. Or you can Google "please don't run" and "Hillary" and get, aw, a couple hundred hits in 0.67 seconds.

Thursday, September 15

An important safety tip from Blue Gal



As Jon Stewart (deity) says, "The Senators likee the blah, blah, blah."

With apologies to the more foaming at the mouth leftie bloggers out there, Blue Gal can't find a reason to vote against John Roberts. That's the problem. But Mr. Roberts can be a semi-finalist in the Blue Gal "intelligence is an aphrodisiac" awards show, his I/A score is a solid 7 on a scale of ten, points off for the helmet hair-do.

Blue Gal need not mention that the leader of the free world can't go potty without permission. Blue Gal can't figure Dubya out: hasn't he been pissing on the UN out in the open for about five and a half years?

Dear Foaming At The Mouth Leftie Bloggers--Nina Totenberg (goddess) is right: The repeal of Roe is the best thing that could happen to the left since Vietnam. Only the return of the draft would radicalize middle America more. And it ain't gonna happen, cause then every Senator on that panel and Roberts his own damn self, would hafta send his daughter, er, okay, GRANDdaughter, to Norway if she forgot to take her pill.

By the way, Blue Gal's "don't sugarcoat it" award for today goes to Neil the Monster for his lovely tome, "Now Resign, You Incompetent Bastard."

Wednesday, September 14

You know "re-framing" has gone too far...


Many of Blue Gal's readers are familiar with the work of George Lakoff, author of "Don't Think of an Elephant!" He's the guy who has made "re-framing" language a core tenet of the current Democratic leadership. It seems to work too, if the recent Social Security debate/debacle is any clue. By taking the Republican's "reform" and "crisis" statements and responding with "privatization" and "Wall Street", the Democrats have actually won one with the American public. Ditto the filibuster rule: Democrats turned a Republican demand for a "procedural up-or-down vote" into "changing the rules in the middle of the game." Again, the American public bought the dem's words hands down.

But now Blue Gal has come across a copy of "The Libertarian Communicator," and an article by Alan Korwin [author of that one hit wonder "Supreme Court Gun Cases"] called "17 Words and Phrases You Should Never Use When Debating Gun Rights."

The sidebar to this article is obviously straight outta the Lakoff boilerplate:

"In this article, best-selling author and gun law expert Alan Korwin provides specific examples of how language can win--or lose--for you on the gun issue. But this article is much more than that--it's about creating a philosophy of word usage. It's a great starting point for examining your own word choices, on this and every other important issue."

The words and their doublespeak translations made Blue Gal laugh her panties off. You can read the whole list at Korwin's site here, but Blue Gal's favorites are:

Don't say "gun control," say "crime control."
Don't say "junk guns," say "the affordability issue."
Don't say "the powerful gun lobby," say "civil rights organizations." I guess that's just in case you get yer NRA mixed up with yer ACLU and yer NAACP.


Don't say "assault weapon," say "household firearm."

That's such a coincidence, because Blue Gal has always kept her assault weapons under the kitchen sink right next to the Mop n' Glo. She feels safer that way.

'Kay that was a good laugh. But we liberal bloggers, especially those addicted to Katrina coverage, need to go here. Now. We've got some re-framing to do.

Tuesday, September 13

Surf's up


Blue Gal is surfing the member blogs of the Impeach Bush Coalition.

One of the members actually lectured Blue Gal!:

i do hope that readership is not the goal... of course, we ALL want to be read but i would encourage you to focus on putting out the truth as you see it and let the readership follow...

What? Pundit bloggers seeking readership through political theatrics? Perish the thought!

Blue Gal is almost old enough to remember The Chicago Seven. They figured out, kids, that it's all theatrics. May the Yippies return with full force! Oh, and I'll be in trouble if I don't plug hubby's book right here.

Anyhow. Stunted Growth has a very nice photo set on Flikr, all related to impeach the prez. I'm sure he'll let you steal with credit (SWC).

And Neil the Monster offers a perspective from across the pond, especially as refers to those icky ID cards.

Now some readers might think it's strange that people from ENGLAND want to see Bush impeached. Those same readers need to remember that Tony Blair would sound a lot more intelligent if his lips were not glued to Dubya's butt.

Monday, September 12

Where to cut some slack, and where not to...

These are not Blue Gal's children. She stole the photo from the internet.

Dear Children of the Liberal Blogosphere,

Blue Gal, your very own self-appointed mother, asks that you please calm down about George Will. Yes, yes, over seventeen hundred of you have linked to Hullabaloo because of his elegant use of the f word. But Mommy wants you to switch to inside voices, now.

Blue Gal's mother, who is not such an authority except she seems to know Everything about Everybody, says George Will has a child with Down Syndrome. Those of us who have either lost a child, have a child with a disability, or spent thousands to conceive a child, have very little patience with "those who get pregnant by accident when they can't afford a child in the first place." Blue Gal speaks from her own experience.

Yes, George Will is one of The Enemy, and there is hypocrisy here, he is not advocating free abortions for black women, naturally. He's actually not saying anything Bill Cosby hasn't said before him. But still, Blue Gal will cut Mr. Will some slack, say a prayer for disabled children everywhere, and bow her head in gratitude that she has three happy children, one with "special needs" who nevertheless aced his math test Friday.

Mr. Will, now that I've cut you this slack, I'd like to put you in a room with say, oh, eight or nine single black women, well-educated and childless. They did what you said. Finished high school and delayed child bearing and marriage. They even went to college. Talk to them, Mr. Will. Ask them their opinion about the availability of eligible black men. They are your poster women, Mr. Will. Ask them. Heck, ask one. Isn't Condi in your Rolodex?

Blue Gal would appreciate a little more demography to our arguments, children. In 1986 Robert MacNeil did a very nice job with The Story of English, and in it he explored the expansion of English dialects along socioeconomic lines, particularly as it related to dialects being formed when a man with one dialect married a woman with another. The mish mash meant the children spoke a new way, see? But Robert MacNeil threw away the most important line in the whole show as a voiceover: couples throughout history have generally not married until they can afford a house. Economic opportunity is a snake biting its own tail: marriages in the underclass will not occur until they can afford housing, and out of wedlock births keep many in poverty. It's called a "vicious cycle" for a reason.

Blue Gal thinks that's why there are so many older men, over fifty, who now have very young children running around. Thank goodness we don't need a visual of Rod Stewart to prove it. Blue Gal herself is raising children with a man who just got his first Social Security check. Why would bodacious babes like Blue Gal reproduce with an old man? Could his having a house have something to do with it? Don't get me wrong, Blue Gal loves her daddy, I mean, old man, I mean, hottie hunk. There we go.

For those of you addicted to the statistics thing, check this out.

Adults without a high school education are less likely to report having had an abortion than those with at least some college or more. Among females who have ever had a pregnancy, 15 percent of those without a high school education had had an abortion compared to 26 percent of college graduates.

This proves beyond any doubt that one of the best ways to reduce the number of abortions in America is to stop damn women from going to college! Giblets would approve! What about Rush, Hannity, O'Reilly, and company?

Or we could work on affordable housing and fair lending practices...naaaah.

Blue Gal thinks George Will wants women to go to college. George Will looks like he thinks intelligence is an aphrodisiac. Frankly, though they are on opposite ends of the political bed, Blue Gal would have his baby anytime.

For those of you who do not want to cut any slack, give a lissen to "George Bush don't like black people." This plump white housewife is jammin to this groooove!

George Bush don't like black people. (mp3)

Five damn days, five long days
And at the end of the fifth he walkin' in like "...Hey!"
Chillin' on his vacation, sittin patiently
Them black folks gotta hope, gotta wait and see...

He said, "I know it looks bad. Just have to wait."
Forgetting folks were too broke to evacuate
Niggas starving and they're dying of thirst.
I bet he had to go and check on them refineries first.

Making a killing off the price of gas.
He would have been up to Connecticut twice as fast
After all that we been through, nothing's changed
You can call Red Cross, but the fact remains that

George Bush ain't a gold digger,
but he ain't fuckin' with no broke niggas

Thanx to Temple of Me for the lyrics...

Sunday, September 11

Go ahead, unplug.


September 11 is a great day to choose to unplug. Do take a break when you can from the bad news, even while you revel in Dubya finally getting his due.

Here are some things to do to take a break:

sp3ccylad has a really nice song download on his site. Smart, funny and warm, like himself.

Give a listen to Egg Radio. It must be okay, Blue Gal likes it.

Go shopping for lightbulbs. The right lightbulb, apparently, is more important than paper versus plastic. The politically correct lightbulbs look like the sex toy above.

And if all this seems far too lightweight when people are still suffering in Louisiana, go ahead and ponder why Blue Gal hates freedom.

You can also chuckle as Bill Maher demands a recall election, courtesy of Crooks and Liars.

Keep the faith.

Saturday, September 10

Glory Days!

This just in from Blue Gal's favorite potential convict (Blue Gal bucks the conventional wisdom--Abu Gahrib would be good enough for 'im), Robert! Novak!!!

Rep. Christopher Shays of Connecticut is more liberal than nearly all his fellow Republicans, but he has tried to be a Bush loyalist. He is a member of the Homeland Security Committee and chairs the national security subcommittee of the Government Reform Committee. Consequently, it is noteworthy when he accuses the administration of "a real sense of arrogance. Loyalty and never admitting a mistake matters more than the truth. It has a Nixon feel to me."

After Blue Gal wondered aloud whether a "Nixon feel" was anything like a "Schwarzenegger grope", she realized, at long last, what that the empty feeling inside of her was...a longing for the glory days of...

Spiro Agnew!!!


Blue Gal is old enough to remember those halycon days of 1973, when being a former governor of Maryland actually meant something, usually an indictment. When saying "Nixon for President, Agnew for Vice" got a chuckle for everyone from Art Buchwald to Daniel Schorr. Old liberal farts everywhere are getting their panties in a wad, begging, praying to the beltway gods. Are we returning to the days of Nixon?

Has Laura turned to the bottle yet? That Katrina/Corina thing...might be Dry Sack. And with David Frost gone, who's gonna interview the impeached/resigned Shrub when he comes out with the multi-volume memoirs Karen Hughes is writing for him right now?


Friday, September 9

Blue Gal's new calling


Blue Gal has to issue a cease and desist order, courtesy of FEMA.

Only Fafblog is allowed to type in "Salvation Army" and then link it directly to Blue Gal. This is an exclusive arrangement between The Happy Pizza and Herself. Any mention of Blue Gal being a love slave, screaming "Watch this, Giblets!" while dressed in a sergeant's uniform, are spurious and will be denied at the highest level.

Practicing Restraint

Blue Gal will not comment on our Vice's epithet to Mr. Leahy on the Senate floor last year, nor will she comment that the same epithet was used on live television to the Vice recently in Gulfport, Mississippi. Blitzer & Cafferty have done this for her:

Cafferty: The vice-president said that was the first time he heard it. Didn't he utter the same phrase to Senator Patrick Leahy on the floor of the United States Senate?

Blitzer: Yes.

Cafferty: So it wasn't the first time he heard it.

Blitzer [carrying water]: The first time he heard it in the context of this trip.

Cafferty: You know what, I bet it's not the last. [thanks, Eschaton.]

When Giblets says it to Blue Gal, it's in the form of a petition, and Giblets always says "pretty please." Many in our leadership could learn a thing or two from Giblets.

Thursday, September 8



Daily Kos, honey, you don't need to sugarcoat it. Tell us what you really think:

There's one particular conservative talking point that made the blastfax today that's been absolutely omnipresent: the entirely false premise that George W. Bush, man of the people, begged and pleaded with reluctant state officials to evacuate in front of the coming storm.


One of the more spectacular results of this administration's insistence on lying about everything, all the time is that they never go to much trouble to make sure each lie matches the next. This is because, to use a scientific explanation, they are unrepentant syphilitic dog whores.

Riddle: What is Dubya's plan to help New Orleans?
Answer: He's gonna SPIN it dry. (oh that was just too easy.)

"Remember when Bill Clinton went out with Monica Lewinsky? That was inarguably a failure of judgment at the top. Democrats had to come out and risk losing credibility if they did not condemn Bill Clinton for his behavior. I believe Republicans are in the same position right now. And I will say this: Hurricane Katrina is George Bush's Monica Lewinsky. The only difference is that tens of thousands of people weren't stranded in Monica Lewinsky's vagina."
--Jon Stewart

So exactly how much is Bush paying Dick Morris? Found a childhood photo of him with Ann Coulter the other day:


Wednesday, September 7

Blue Gal was KIDDING!!!

[we interrupt this post for late breaking news]

OMG! Blue Gal posted a JOKE to some other blogs re waiting for Halliburton to get a no bid contract to clean up after Katrina.


Back to the broadcast...which was originally titled Exxpose Exxon.


Get your cool shirt at Demokratees.

Blue Gal's local Exxon station had regular at $3.19 until the Birmingham News said anything over $3.13 was gouging. $2.99 seems the universal fashion now. Blue Gal doesn't want gas to be cheap. But the profits should go to something like, oh, universal health insurance? How 'bout it? $4.50 a gallon and anybody who wants to can get Medicare?

Martian Anthropologist has more time to blog than Blue Gal, methinks. He beat me to it with his awards today. Al Franken in his book "Lies and the Lying Liars" has quite a riff on Barbara Bitch, I mean, Bush.

Blue Gal has a new hottie hero in Keith Olbermann. Needs Blue Gal's fingers to fluff up his hair tho. But the editorial gets a smooch: mmmmwah!

Let's add Crooks and Liars to the Blue Gal sidebar. Looks good there.

Tuesday, September 6

Mommy's tired


Blue Gal was up with an anxious three year old girl last night, a couple times, and has to change the sheets on her six year old's bed this morning (don't ask). So she was so delighted to come across beloved Garrison Keillor's ode to coffee. Without coffee Blue Gal could not have gotten the kids to school and without the kids to school Blue Gal would not be napping later this morning which she will do even after too much coffee. Heck, sometimes Blue Gal has a nice hot cup of the stuff right before her nap.

Gary also has a new book coming out, Good Poems for Hard Times. The times they are a changin', but of course we all have hard times and maybe someone will get a copy for our President.

Garrison Keillor was the first real author ever to put pen to postcard about Blue Gal. That was a lifetime ago. She wasn't Blue Gal then, just a much younger woman in line at the Harvard Coop and Mr. Keillor was signing, good God, Lake Wobegon Days. Her friend Mike, a shy person who always accused Blue Gal of being "effusive," sent her a postcard with nothing on it save the "Dear" and "Signed, Mike" so Mr. Keillor filled it in for him. "Dear Mike," he wrote, "She's lively, not effusive." May I ever be so.

Speaking of hard times for our President, BG's sure all her friends in the blogosphere will be linking to Andy Borowitz today. Good one, Andy.

Monday, September 5

Another movie recommendation...

Blue Gal's been watching movies. Gonna have to post a sidebar of links, later. But today's movie was 1975's Three Days of the Condor. Redford's sideburns have not stood the test of time, my dears.


But get a load of this dialogue. Told within the shadows of the then almost new World Trade Center buildings, which in the movie conveniently house CIA offices. Turner is Redford, the classic outsider CIA office bookworm. Higgins is Cliff Robertson, a CIA insider boss.

Do we have plans to invade the Middle East?

We have games, that's all. We play games. "What if...?" "How many
men...?" "What would it take...?" "Is there a cheaper way to destabilize a
regime?" That's what we're paid to do.

So Atwood just took the games too seriously. He was really going to do
it, wasn't he? Supposing I hadn't stumbled on the plan? Say nobody

Different ball game. The fact is, there was nothing wrong with the plan.
Oh, the plan was alright. The plan woulda worked.

Boy, what is it with you people? You think not getting caught in a lie is
the same thing as telling the truth?

No. It's simple economics. Today, it's oil, right? In ten or fifteen years...
food. Plutonium. And maybe even sooner. Now, what do you think the
people are gonna want us to do then?

Ask them.

Not now. Then. Ask them when they're running out. Ask them when there's no heat in their homes and they're cold. Ask them when their engines stop. Ask them when people who've never known hunger start going hungry. You wanna know something? They won't want us to ask them. They'll just want us to get it for them.*

How 'bout ask them after a hurricane? How 'bout when gas gets over three dollars a gallon? I remember the first time I saw this movie years ago, thinking, God, Higgins is so right. And watching again today, when Turner asked "Do we have plans to invade the Middle East?"

Plans? Plans? Plans?

Was there a cheaper way to destabilize that regime, Mr. President? Was one, only one, nasty dictator worth the lives of those soldiers? You son of a bitch? Oh wait, Blue Gal's fergitin her ladylikeness and the reminder from one reader that God is reading her blog.

That's right. Blue Gal must remember that GOD is reading her blog.

Blue Gal does not want Fafnir and Giblets to read her blog, let alone any higher deities. Deities have much more important thangs to do!

...well. This gubment's gonna topple folks. And 2008 is just around the corner.

Will it be any better WHEN the democrats win? Oh ma hunnies, can it get any worse?

*[Thanks to Ronald Bruce Mayer for the quotes and analysis from 2002]



Blue Gal also administers a mini blog to remember a friend of hers who died this past February.

This week that blog got spammed by someone looking for "internet friends" who could only reach him through his cyber casino site. Yeah, on a blog for a dead person.

So Blue Gal has turned on comment verification, and will also delete any comments over 250 words, those that are unrelated to the post at hand, or that provide long quotations from scripture, the Joy of Cooking, or the Encyclopedia Brittanica.

Please do not paste comments from a pre-composed Word document into Blue Gal's blog. Blue Gal can smell Word from her laptop.

Thank you so very much.

Sunday, September 4

Movie Previews

Blue Gal and her darling husband went to see "Constant Gardener" this aft...a movie that proves beyond a doubt that Ralph Fiennes is still pretty, even if squalid Africa isn't. Also, that Bill Nighy and Pete Postlethwaite steal movies without even trying.

But the reel news was in the previews, with George Clooney's lovely timing for "Good Night and Good Luck," a drama about Edward R. Murrow vs. McCarthy. They used the real McCarthy for this one, and preview audiences said he was overacting. Go figure. Blue Gal's daughters would never be allowed a thousand feet from George Clooney, but she admires that naughty boy sooo much for what looks like a wonderful kick in the kidneys for the Patriot Act and other Dubya silliness.

Oh, and he hired Robert Downey, Jr. Blue Gal would like to rehabilitate that boy. Personally.

Friday, September 2

Condi went shoe shopping this week.

Blue Gal can't stop laughing, again. And they're keeping Karl Rove on because he is such a public relations g-e-n-i-u-s!

Click on the title above to read on. Too bad we can't get pix of the new shoes, yet.

Condis new shoes

Oh God.


Debating in the blogosphere today about whether God sent Katrina to punish Nawlins for being so naughty.

Blue Gal does not care about such theological shenanigans. Why not consult with the Flying Spaghetti Monster? Oh, but Blue Gal longs for the days gone by when we could just ask Bob.

OH, HECK. Blue Gal is forgetting her theological training again. Sorry. Rain falls on the just and the unjust, folks, whether it destroys a house or ends a drought. God was not in the wind, HE IS in the "still small voice." Yes, the one that's telling you to donate to the Red Cross.

Yet "Bring It On", the newest site on the Blue Gal Sidebar, makes for a pretty scary case that Katrina targeted Blue counties over Red. That oughta make those "Christian" right wingers happy.

Click on the image to order it as a t-shirt and other stuff. Blue Gal does not profit from these sales, she just steals their pictures for her blog.

Thursday, September 1

Kill your television.


Blue Gal's house has donated to Katrina relief. If John Kerry did not personally email you the list of charities, go here.

Now that you've done that, good little children, it's time to turn off the television. The news networks are covering Katrina because it's good television. Why when the hurricane is hitting and citizens are being evacuated and everyone is supposed to seek shelter are reporters and cameramen outside? Because it's good television.

Children, "good television" is an evil oxymoron. Where is the Downing Street Memo? Where is Karl Rove? Okay, all you compassion junkies who are trolling the blogosphere to pass judgment on those bloggers who are "insensitive" to the victims, why did we not help enough in Darfur? It's because...these are no longer good television.

Blue Gal almost cried to see looters, desperate for everyday needs, stealing food and diapers. But Blue Gal's heart broke when she saw looters stealing televisions. People who have no house or electricity still know the power of the plug-in drug.

Have you watched (oh, that word) Fahrenheit 451? Not 9/11, children, but the original, which many of you do not know was used to name the anti-Bush documentary. You did not know this, Michael Moore's the pity. Go rent this movie and turn off Fox and CNN and see where our world might go, where it is now. Julie Christie watches an interactive Queer Eye and it is scaaaary.

Open your window on the world, please. Stop looking at the electric box. Stop. Turn it off. Off. Now.