Monday, June 8

What I learned today.

Number One:

No matter how much they insist, do not allow your young child to change her underwear inside a fast food bathroom.

She had a slight "accident" and insisted that the back of the minivan was not private enough. So we went inside.

Clean underpants on and then she sits on the fast food restaurant public bathroom floor to put her pants on.

Thank God for protecting drunks, small children, and The United States of America.

Number Two

To determine how long it will take to get somewhere, take the estimated trip time from Mapquest and multiply it by the number of children with whom you are traveling.

Number Three

Had dinner in a restaurant with big screen CNN. No matter how much I can't stand Newt Gingrich, I would buy him a goddamn drink before I would climb on the same public bus with Nancy Grace. I mean that.


  1. i'd take either one of them to dinner(ick) before i'd let glenn beck put me out if i was on fire!

  2. I think that the real question is how long does Mapquest say that it will take for Nancy Grace to change her underpants inside a fast food bathroom if she has been drinking? Hmm...

  3. Don't let Nancy Grace know you're traveling with children. She'll have them disappeared.

  4. If it makes you feel better, I know a kid who dropped his fries - with ketchup - on a McDonald's floor, and bent down to pick them up and eat them. He was 10-12 at the time.

    And god help me, I'm with you on the Nancy Grace thing. It's her lethal combination of grating voice and belligerent obtuseness – I think as a crisis negotiator she'd achieve close to a 100% fatality rate. Meanwhile, Newt Gingrich is an egomaniac scumbag, but some of his evilness is an act - and he actually follows the arts he fights to defund somewhat.


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