Dear [teacher's name]
My dad is almost 70 and served in the Cold War. My mom is 46, but she looks like she's 30. My first sister (8) is 1% annoying. My younger sister (6) is 10,000% annoying. My gerbil, Awesome, is amazing.
I like the computer. My favorite TV show is MSNBC Countdown with KO. I like reading a whole lot. I like Diary of a Wimpy Kid.
It's all true (my ex and I are that far apart in age, though Junior shaved a year off of mine-- GOOD BOY!). Junior Dude has to do his homework if he wants to watch "Worst Persons." Keith's book "Pitchforks and Torches" comes out five days after Dude's b-day--we'll have to make it a belated gift.
I hate to admit it, but I think he's got the annoying sister ratio about right, too.