Wednesday, November 30

Slow News Day? Give it to Snoop Dogg.

If you ever get bored, just head over to Gizoogle and enter any of the many pages from whitehouse.gov or James Dobson's message for the day, for translating into the lingo of Snoop Dogg. For instance, the official nomination of Samuel Alito to SCOTUS.


THE PRESIDENT:

bush-pimp

Good morn'n ta help you tap dat ass. I'm pleazed ta announce mah nominizzle of Judge Samuel A . They call me tha black folks president. Alito, Jr., as Associate Justice of tha Supreme Court of tha United States . Listen to how a motherfucker flow shit. Judge Alito is one of tha most accomplished n respected judges in America, n his long carea in public service has given him an extraordinary breadth of experience like old skool shit.

Today, Judge Alito is joined by his wife, Martha, who was a law librarian wizzy he fizzirst met brotha n I B-to-tha-izzoth know you ciznan't go wrong marry'n a librarian cuz Im tha Double O G. Sam n Martha's two children, Phil n Laura, is also wit us, n I knizzow how proud you is of yo baby daddy today . They call me tha black folks president. Real niggas recognize the realness. And I know he's think'n `bout his late drug deala. They call me tha black folks president. Samuel Alito, Sr., came ta this country as an immigrant child fizzy Italy in 1914, n his fine family has realized tha bootylicious promise of our country.

He moved aggressively against white-cizzles n envirizzle crimes, n drizzay traffick'n, n organized crime, n violation of civil rights . Death row 187 4 life.

In his role, Sam Alito showed a passionate commitment ta tha rizzy of law, n he gained a reputizzles fo` being B-to-tha-izzoth tough n fair like this and like that and like this and uh. He understands T-H-to-tha-izzat judges is ta interpret tha laws, not ta impose they preferizzles or priorities on tha people . I started yo shit and I'll end yo' shit.

Judge, thanks fo` ridin' ta serve, n congratulizzles on yo nominizzle.

JUDGE ALITO:

pimp hat

Thank you, Mr . Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. President. I am deeply honored 'n shit ta be nominated ta serve on tha Supreme Court, n I am very grateful fo` tha confidence that you hizzy S-H-to-tha-izzown in me . Aint no stoppin' this shit nigga.


Oh, and before I forget. Patagonia wants your panties.

4 comments:

  1. Yeah, Gizoogle's great (much better than the hillbilly one), but nothing -- Nothing will ever beat the dear departed Zippy Meets Meta-HTML.

    ReplyDelete
  2. What does Snoopy Doggy Dogg use to clean his clothes?

    BLEE-YATCH!

    nyuck-nyuck-nyuck.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yo, that's wack!

    ReplyDelete
  4. How George Bush would sound like pimped out (This coming from the pimped-out WH web site):

    President Bizzy waves ta tha crowd baller deliver'n an emphatic statement on tha War on Terror Wednesday, Nov. 30, 2005, at tha U.S. Naval Academy in Annapolis with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back. "Victory with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back. in Iraq wiznill demand tha continued determinizzles n resolve of tha American People," said tha President.

    Somehow, this seems oddly apt and mirrors his attitude all throughout this war.

    ReplyDelete

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