The unforeseen consequences ofIntelligent Design in the classroom

Good morning, class, welcome back to American History. As you know, your science teacher only has a few minutes in his science curriculum to go over the source and creation of the entire universe. This is as it should be, as there is so much to cover in science class: gravity, the human circulatory system, the orbit of the planets, you know, things that can be shown and proven, and that you as an educated person ought to know.

In American History class, things are a little different. As part of our propaganda unit, we are going to spend this entire week on Intelligent Design. We're going to look at both sides of the issue and I think by the end of the week you will have a really good idea just where this whole Intelligent Design thing is coming from and why it is a stupid idea Nobel scientists and other intelligent people, like your history teacher, feel strongly about this issue.

For a little background, class, we're going to listen this morning to this NPR story about the election of a new school board in Dover, Pennsylvania. Last week, Dover kicked out its entire school board, who wanted Intelligent Design taught in the science classroom, with a new school board which has promised to move Intelligent Design into an elective comparative religion class. I want you to pay particular attention to the words of Bernadette Reinking, who is one of the new school board members. Notice how sane she is. What is her religious background? Does she seem anti-Christian to you?

In the same story, we hear Reverend Pat Robertson talking. Is that him, or is it a Saturday Night Live parody? How can you tell? Does he seem anti-Christian to you?

Now let's look at a website which gives another definition to the design debate as it relates to Pat Robertson. What is this author's position? Is it reasonable? (Yes.) Does he seem Jewish to you? Funny, he kinda looks Jewish. Are Jews always this funny? (No. Spaceballs was written by a Jew, and was not funny.)

Now, class, let's go back to the main question we ask about every single issue we confront in American History:

What would Eleanor Roosevelt think of this?***

Eleanor Roosevelt believed in science and the Constitution of the United States of America. She was friends with Albert Einstein and other Nobel Laureate Jews. She would be against teaching Intelligent Design in the science classroom. Case closed.



***The worship of Eleanor Roosevelt was established as central to the Blue Gal Course of Study in American History in the Spring of 2005.