Marilyn Monroe's Alternative History

I don't know if I heard somewhere yesterday about the lady who's trying to auction off the crypt above Marilyn Monroe's for four million bucks. I think it's more that the Kennedy family has been on the teevee a lot this week, but I woke up thinking about Marilyn Monroe.

And I wondered what her life might have been like if she had had the advantages that celebrities have today: she'd be an alumna of Betty Ford Clinic and have gone the international adoption route big-time. Hell, she'd be posing at the Warhol museum with her Indonesian-American granddaughter by now.


Her son, Congressman Thuan [John] Monroe, far left, would be primarying Joe Lieberman's Senate seat. We'd have new impetus to just forget the whole "native-born American" provision in the Constitution because let's face it, the SON of frickin' MARILYN MONROE would make a great President. And Grandma M. would be quoted off the record as saying, in the breathless tone that is famous the world over:

"Well, sure, except for that piece of shit Governor of California, I'd be all for it. Notice no one is calling HIM the last Kennedy brother, bastard."

Marilyn and family at the Andy Warhol Museum, Pittsburgh, alternative 2009. Age progression Norma Jean from here.