Sunday, August 30

Liz Cheney Plays Streisand?

Original poster here. And in pre-production: "On a Clear Day You Can See the US and its Media Elite Taking a Big Runny Shit on International Law and All That Is Moral, Again."

Because let's face it. You didn't even need to watch Liz Cheney ON THE PANEL of ABC's This Week this morning, to know for a bonafide fact that her daddy is not going to court or jail or anything. He's poisoned any possible US jury pool, the Western international community doesn't have the money or the will to prosecute, and the only Arab nations who could afford it are the Saudis and Abu Dhabi. At least some of the Gitmo-ers are there because of Saudi intelligence. And Abu Dhabi is busy investing in US kids movies in Hollywood.

If Cheney goes to jail for anything that happened in Iraq or Guantanamo, then Kissinger has to go to jail for what happened in Chile and Cambodia. And the biggest issue, really, is that the messy unearthing of anything bordering "truth" would just fuck up Sally Quinn's dinner parties forever.

The sad fact is, the Washington beltway media is against any kind of accountability for Bush/Cheney, and the West, in its self-centered move-along world, finds it's too much trouble.

And George Stephanopoulos may go to Hell for framing the "question" about torture, not, "WHO SHOULD BE PUNISHED FOR BREAKING THE GENEVA CONVENTION?" exactly because the answer's daughter is sitting three chairs down. Instead he asks HER question: "DID IT WORK?" which in terms of what "might have happened if we didn't" we will never know.

Go to Hell, George. And tell yourself Sally's canapes are worth it.

Saturday, August 29

Whoops I almost missed First Annual Sarah Palin Day!

Maybe we can make it last all week!

The right wing blogosphere is celebrating the

First Annual Sarah Palin Day

the anniversary of the glorious hour she was announced as McCain's running mate.

No. Really. I am not making that up. Honest. Look at the Google Blog Search yourself.

PS. Anyone who brings up "Obama Derangement Syndrome" after looking at those blogs can smooch my Left-of-Barack Socialist butt.

I know, I'm getting pretty good at the photoshop. You'd almost think the above graphic was, gasp, Zaius. I flatter myself.

Saturday Song

Ricky Scaggs singing the old Bill Monroe tune:

I got a pig at home in a pen
Corn to feed him on
All I need's a pretty little girl
To feed I'm when I'm gone

Friday, August 28

Marilyn Monroe's Alternative History

I don't know if I heard somewhere yesterday about the lady who's trying to auction off the crypt above Marilyn Monroe's for four million bucks. I think it's more that the Kennedy family has been on the teevee a lot this week, but I woke up thinking about Marilyn Monroe.

And I wondered what her life might have been like if she had had the advantages that celebrities have today: she'd be an alumna of Betty Ford Clinic and have gone the international adoption route big-time. Hell, she'd be posing at the Warhol museum with her Indonesian-American granddaughter by now.

Her son, Congressman Thuan [John] Monroe, far left, would be primarying Joe Lieberman's Senate seat. We'd have new impetus to just forget the whole "native-born American" provision in the Constitution because let's face it, the SON of frickin' MARILYN MONROE would make a great President. And Grandma M. would be quoted off the record as saying, in the breathless tone that is famous the world over:

"Well, sure, except for that piece of shit Governor of California, I'd be all for it. Notice no one is calling HIM the last Kennedy brother, bastard."

Marilyn and family at the Andy Warhol Museum, Pittsburgh, alternative 2009. Age progression Norma Jean from here.

Thursday, August 27

Oh let's just come out and say it.

'cause really, how insecure do you have to be to openly carry a loaded weapon in the vicinity of the nation's first Black President?**

I received from my childrens' school yesterday the "code of conduct" handbook put out by the district, a fifty-seven page document which outlines policies and procedures related to student conduct and behavior.

The highest "Level IV" Misconduct, which automatically leads to a ten-day out of school suspension and possible follow-up with law enforcement, includes

  • Possession/use of/or transfer of weapons or look-alike weapons/or other objects to produce bodily harm.
  • Physical intimidation of a student, school employee, or other person.
  • Other acts of misconduct which are seriously disruptive and/or which create a safety hazard to students, staff and/or school property.

Mayors of cities/towns where the President appears, I have one word for you: liability. School boards do not have zero-tolerance policies on weapons because they want to piss off the National Rifle Association. They do it to protect themselves and those around them not only from gunshots, but from lawsuits. How's your city budget doin', there, Mister Mayor? Want to pay some lawyers lots of overtime to have them tell you to settle for bigger bucks, because some kid got shot by a bullet intended to intimidate a certain VIP out-of-towner? Talk it over with your council. Work it out with the Secret Service and Congress. And do it quick.

**PS The General goes even further and is so right: if the President's penis is duly registered we won't have all this trouble.

Wednesday, August 26

Shorter SPLC Report

h/t @bcfortenberry on Twitter for the image idea.

Long version here. And don't forget how Malkin and Co pitched a fit when Homeland Security warned and warned about this just months ago. May her words "Obama hit job" never come back to haunt any of us.

And Dear Tweety: Yeah, you don't want to say someone might shoot the President. We get that. The correct response to that is "we don't give in to [domestic] terrorists." Throw that back in Sarah Palin's face. Really.

Spending part of today praying for our President's safety, and the family of Senator Ted.

Tuesday, August 25

Tweak My Resume and Call Me Bull Connor!!!

Lou Dobbs is looking for a Senior Writer? This is an amazing get fired for blogging at work about what an asshole your boss is.

Major hat tip to The Full Ginsburg via Googlechat.

Monday, August 24

Joe's Both Sides Do It Clean Hands Patrol, Revisited

Joe Scarborough wants to sing bi-partisan kum-bay-yah! While sitting in his comfy dry diaper false equivalance that "hating" the rape of the constitution, torture, signing statements, and war creating/profiteering on the part of the Vice-President and a third of the cabinet, equals hating the brown furrin'-born President because his health plan will kill grandma and take away my guns? Really, Joe.

Let me show you some left wing hate speech on the subject of clean hands. This from Blue Gal in October 2006. See if you notice any differences between my own "hate speech" and Crazy Eileen waving her own birth certificate from a string around her neck and yelling "Kenyan."

From October 2006:

Wolf Blitzer's interview with Second Lady Lynne Cheney, transcript courtesy of C&L:

BLITZER: ...there have been some cases where innocent people have been picked up, interrogated, held for long periods of time then simply said never mind, let go — they're let go.

CHENEY: Well, are you sure these people are innocent?

BLITZER: They're walking around free right now and nobody has arrested them.

CHENEY: You made a point last night of a man who had a bookstore in London where radical Islamists gathered who was in Afghanistan when the Taliban were there, who went to Pakistan. You know, I think that you might be a little careful before you declare this as a person with clean hands.

You know, I sleep better at night knowing that the wife of the Vice-President knows clean hands when she sees them.

"Smells like Teen Smegma."

"Surprisingly soft, and has the same scent
as my granny's musty old douche bag."

"It's uncanny how Lebanese dead-baby blood-stink...."

"...reminds me of Iraqi dead-baby blood-stink."

dick cheney
"Thank goodness Halliburton profits smell like rose petals!"

"And we know why he uses hand sanitizer on a regular basis."

abu grahib
"But you hung out in the wrong bookstore, chump."

Sunday, August 23

2,300th Post

Took the ten-year-old to his first comic book convention today. OMG. I suspect do not have to worry about drugs when he's a teenager, unless you consider fantasies related to time travel, alien races, and bodacious heroines to be a drug.

I was reminded at church this morning that we must consider our fellow humans to be children of God. I said a prayer not for today's Michelle Malkin, but for the Michelle Malkin of 25 years from now, when the botox and right wing devotion is no longer enough, for her or her audience. Maybe she'll find out then how merciful God is. Maybe we all will. Amen.

Saturday, August 22

Friday, August 21

Blue Gal attacked? Really?

I didn't feel a thing.

But some commenter over at the big blog doesn't like the photoshops I post for Open Thread. Last night I posted D-Cap's Seven Brides for Seven Birthers, to celebrate Tom Delay's Dancing with the Stars gig.

The commenter ended his tirade with this nugget:

And the best part, a self professed CHRISTIAN continues to post this crap night after night.

I usually don't respond to personal attacks, but I saw this one as a direct swipe at the readership of C&L, so I felt I had to respond:

I wonder with which TV Dancing Celebrity show Jesus would sign a contract. After being indicted for campaign finance fraud.

Anyone who goes after my religion at this site clearly thinks it will help their argument because they perceive C&L commenters to be intolerant towards anyone with Christian leanings. That is not the case.

I'm a dirty hippie mean-photoshopping Quaker, and I've always found lots of support and tolerance at this site and the rest of Left Blogsylvania. I don't ever try to convert anyone because the God I worship loves atheists as much as everyone else. Not to mention those incredibly clever Flying Spaghetti Monster folks. I think God puts them at the front tables of the divine cocktail party because they're so funny and smart.

No time for photoshopping today!

'Specially when Betty Bowers has done it for you.

You know it's a good day at Casa Blue Gal when everybody wakes up to see that the new goldfish survived its first night here. The earlier Grommies had a decent, Christian, toilet burial. With three kids, one fish is about my limit on pets. I expect I'll flush those words, too, as time progresses.

Thursday, August 20

What planet DO they spend their time on, Atticus?

And if you're one of the few who didn't see Barney Frank do his thing, it's here. A must view.

Wednesday, August 19

Health Insurers are Horrible Capitalists

Yeah Joe Scarborough is rendered speechless when Representative Weiner (did you know he was Jon Stewart's college roommate?) makes the point that insurance companies do not provide a commodity and are really, really bad capitalists.

If I paid Joe Scarborough 600 dollars in June to clean my house for a year, and in late August he decided he wouldn't do it anymore because all of a sudden my kids are home and the house NEEDS more cleaning than it did in the summertime, I could SUE him for my money back. Insurance companies that drop coverage when their customers actually use their product, whether it's home or health insurance, are building the worst ill-will possible against their industry.

I know a guy who called his homeowner's insurance company to find out IF he should file a claim for some damage, and immediately after that INQUIRY, where no claim was filed, his insurance was dropped. Really. If you're selling a product that you then STEAL back when the purchaser uses it, you are not a capitalist you are a thief. That's not insurance.

Ill-will against the insurance industry is where we need to go with this debate. They're cheating their customers. They have a MONOPOLY in most states in which they operate. And they do not provide a product like a car or a frozen pizza, where a cheaper quadruple by-pass is available for poor people. Joe didn't want that complicated point brought into the debate on his show, so he clutched his pearls and went to commercial.

Tuesday, August 18

Senator Grassley Waits At Table...

The insurance companies will gorge until they self-destruct. I actually have faith that such is imminent. When the right white people get kicked off of their policies just because they hit their $5,000 deductible, all of a sudden something will have to be done.

I also suggest, as some others have before me, that we return to the 'Medicare for All' motif. We pay for it with premiums, and rack up savings by subtracting the CEO salaries, advertising costs, and revenue for bean counters paid to deny coverage for the sake of stockholders. Everyone under 65 can have Medicare if they pay for it. Poor people get help paying for it. And let Senator Grassley try to explain why he doesn't think Medicare is a good idea.

Monday, August 17

Messin' with Katy Abram (VIDEO MASHUP)

And in case you haven't heard, Katy Abram interviewed here by Lawrence O'Donnell as if she is aw, shucks an average citizen who just woke up to politics by the socialism of healthcare reform, is actually an experienced Glenn Beck 9-12 Organizer who has been involved/"interested" in politics since at least the loss of the 2006 Congressional elections. Enjoy.

Salon tonight.

Sunday, August 16

Newt advises Sarah (with a low bow to Jan van Eyck)

Welcome to folks coming from Crooks and Liars, and you can click the image for full-size. Original version here, though if you look closely in the mirror you can see van Eyck had his own obsession with "pixels."

More about the original painting on the Wiki page.

Friday, August 14

Joe Scarborough doth protest too much...

Really, Joe, you protest too much. Why bring it up? You're just reminding everyone that Katherine Harris, who was elected Secretary of State, housed GOP officials IN HER HOUSE during the recount proceedings. Also, I thought O'Donnell was smarter than this:

Good thing Florida has cleaned up its act and now the Secretary of State is appointed by the Governor. Ugh.

Joe getting his panties in a twist, when Hillary Clinton did not say rigged or stolen or anything of the sort, just gives us all an excuse to remember what DID happen. Why'dya do it, Joe?

Thursday, August 13

Message to a neighboring state.

Hey Iowans, your next 885 days are gonna be nothin' but Huckabee, Mitt Romney, and lil' Ricky Santorum invading your farms and homesteads. Now's the time to decide that Sarah Palin's fake euthanasia death panels are a good idea after all.


An important PS:

It's been brought to my attention that school systems around the country are reporting poor kids coming to school without clean underwear. Seriously. As panties queen of the blogs, I encourage you to donate new package of kids' underwear to your local children's charity. I did.

Wednesday, August 12

Compassion and the complete, utter lack thereof.

UPDATE: I didn't realize when I posted this that Warren Hern would be on Rachel Maddow tonight. Check MSNBC/Maddow website for the video.

Interview in Esquire with "the last abortion doctor," Warren Hern:

I've done some cases over thirty-six weeks, but very few.

For what cause?

For some catastrophic problems.

Like what?

Oh, anencephaly or lack of kidneys, you know. Lack of a brain.

I want everyone reading this to know that I, Blue Gal, had a sister with anencephaly. Wiki says that "A baby born with anencephaly is usually blind, deaf, unconscious, and unable to feel pain. Although some individuals with anencephaly may be born with a main brain stem, the lack of a functioning cerebrum permanently rules out the possibility of ever gaining consciousness."

If my mother had been able, in the 1960's, to end her pregnancy, it might have prevented the mental breakdown which she suffered as a result, and given her ten years of her life and a good chunk of my childhood back. Some, and granted, only some, anti-abortion forces care not at all about quality of life issues for those already here.

From Esquire:

The antiabortionists say that in those cases, the woman should just give birth naturally and let God take the baby.

The [doctor's] sharp tone comes back. Having a delivery is not a benign procedure. When you are trying to keep the baby alive, that increases the risk for the woman. And Reagan put in a bunch of rules about requiring to keep babies alive no matter how hopeless it is. You have people going to Europe to get away from that.

You mean the hospital requires them to save the baby?

The hospital requires full resuscitation measures, no matter what.

Esquire interviews a couple who wanted their baby but found it had such severe abnormalities it could not survive, and that giving birth would have injured the mother, probably preventing her from having more children:

Was it painful?

Yeah, it was painful physically and mentally.

You don't want to push it. So you ask if there's anything else they want to say. The husband answers.

It's important that people have a choice. At the end of the day, when things go bad, you know? I mean, God forbid something happens to Dr. Hern, where are we going to go next? Australia? China? It's important that people know that choice is very important when it comes to things like this.

Believe me, I completely understand the compassionate and natural human nature to want to protect the unborn. But anyone who thinks another human being should by some divine will, go through the birthing process of an anecephaly fetus, is either completely stupid or a hateful, vicious, uncompassionate freak.

And Sarah Palin for all her "experience" has no idea about parenting a special needs child. It has only begun for her. Little Trig may be mentally retarded, may have other emotional issues, may wind up inflicting pain on himself or others. For her to add the LIE of "special needs baby death panels" to the health care "debate" is atrocious.

By the way, corporate media: I vote we stop the 24-hour-news cycle and all go back to one hour per network of nightly news. You only get to talk about what is sane and real and factual. That will end "debates" about torture being evil and "whether" healthcare for everyone is a "good idea" and anything else that is really truly not debatable. You won't need to fill time with "the other side" of the whole "sky is blue" question.

Tuesday, August 11

It's about time someone said this.

Keith Olbermann to Sarah Palin last night:

And incidentally, Madam, you have forfeited your right to be taken seriously the next time you claim offense at somebody mentioning your children. You have just exploited your youngest child, dangled him in front of a mindless mob as surely as if you were Michael Jackson. You have used this innocent infant as an excuse to pander to the worst and least of us in this nation. You have used him to create the false image of 'death panels.'

PS to bloggers don't forget that you too can embed Crooks and Liars videos to your blogs. Click on the title of the post over there and the customizable embed code appears on the right sidebar.

Monday, August 10

Tire Blow Out/Job in Minnesota

That's a picture of my actual tire that blew out on I-35 in Minnesota. Naturally, I blame Tim Pawlenty. He thinks Cash for Clunkers is a bad idea even though it "makes everybody feel good." It's just government masturbation, Tim? Is that what you're trying to say?

Anyhoo, I got the tire changed and even bought a spare in Minnesota, adding to the sales tax coffers of Minnesota just like those darn feel-gooders who bought a new car/orgasm with cash for clunkers/"head honcho joy gripper pussy pal". (Sorry folks, I just love making the Google Search engines go kablooie.)

Remember, Governor Pawlenty, when you hold out your hand to take all that automobile state tax revenue, shave your palms first.

The guy who fixed my tire kept talking about his commitment to Minnesota, and he looked vaguely familiar and, of course, overly feel-goodish...but he swore to me he only did that "cash for clunkers" thing until he needed glasses.

If any of you have an extra five bucks to help me pay for this mishap, I'd appreciate it. The button below ONLY allows donations of five bucks, I don't want to ask for more from anyone. Thanks again.

I'm home now, salon tonight. See you then. xo

Sunday, August 9

Thursday, August 6

A caveat for those who visit the comment threads of the big blogs...

They're everywhere. Especially watch out for trollz who insist that you read Michelle Malkin's book before you judge it. She didn't let Barack Obama serve in office before she wrote it, so really I don't see the point.

I did watch her appearance on The View until I barfed, about 70 seconds in. Her argument that hey, "George W. Bush is no longer President" is really convenient for her, and since no one on the show countered with "yeah, but he's still a war criminal" I didn't watch any further.

To repeat: She must have written or at least conceived of this book before January of this year. Apart from the complete intellectual dishonesty that she could judge or analyze this administration so clearly six months in, the timing of her book proves that she banked, personally and professionally, on McCain/Palin losing the election, which makes her a traitor to her Party and cause and the alleged nation she holds dear, period.

Also, I'm done talking about her.

Wednesday, August 5

A Quickie on the Road

Does this "healthcare reform will abort babies and kill our grandmas" canard remind anyone else of the "Equal Rights Amendment means we all have to use unisex bathrooms" canard of the 1970's? Why does this BS work?


One night stand in Chicago last night, one night at home tonight and back on the road tomorrow. Can't decide if it's even worth doing a load of wash. And yeah I'm posting to my blog, hey! I can stop any time I want.


Left this at The Aristocrats: Dear Michele Malkin: It's so topical writing about the "failures" of the Obama admin after six months, but I haven't heard anyone ask you when you started writing it. I'm guessing September '08, which means you were betting the farm on a McCain/Palin loss.



I just want to clarify something that came up in comments to the previous post, not that it matters, really. The woman who died last weekend was my ex's second wife. I was his third wife. So I wasn't being nice to the new wife, she was being nice to the new wife, who was me.

Perhaps it was just shared suffering, but even the ex-husband in question would agree that we got along better than either one of us got along with him.

My five-year-old said today that she was sorry J died, "she was my half-mom." Exactly right.


Arrived at the house tonight, driving up our street to The Little House and it came to me so clearly, again, that the answer to so many 'whys' in my life are the three kids in that van. Amazing that in the weeks they are away I somehow don't forget how to be their mother. That said, I made twelve original videos while they were away, and I'm proud of that, too.

More later....

Tuesday, August 4

Taking a break this week...

I wish I could tell you all that, my strong ACLU roots notwithstanding, I'm on a mission to arrest Dick Armey for sedition.

But the fact is my ex-husband's second wife passed away last weekend, and she was family to all of us, especially my kids. None of my kids knew Christmas without going to her house.

I'm driving to Chicago today to pick up my kids, then Thursday we hop in the car again to drive to Minneapolis for the burial. We'll be home sometime Sunday.

I don't think I can do daily blogging in the meantime. Love on ya.

-- BG

Monday, August 3

Everything I know about talking smut I learned from Twitter

I had an exchange with fellow twitterer @laurakeet yesterday:

ME: Congrats @GStephanopoulos you pimped a book that calls Michelle Obama one of prez's "cronies of color." Stay Classy, ABC's This Week!

LAURAKEET: Thx for link to Malkin feedback. However must u say "pimp" 2describe self-promoting a pathetic brand of hate? IMO bad metaphor.

ME: I call ABC having Malkin on w her book pimping, ie quid pro quo deal w/ her or her publisher to sell it. you have better term?

LAURAKEET: Literal definition of "pimp" works but selling people=real & tragic, so 2 loaded a term IMO. How about "shill"? [Laura provided link]

ME: We can agree 2 disagree @laurakeet! I call ABCThisWeek producers pimps, but can't find the loaded term for what this is:

And here I linked to an original Michele Malkin production which called the "defeatocrats"


for wanting to pull out of Iraq. This "S-O-R-O-S" parody version is very clever, and still lets you see Malkin's idea of, well, how to share her ideas. Yes, that really is Michelle Malkin.

But I want to take up @laurakeet's assertion that somehow "pimp" (and yeah, the word "whore" is also used in the same context) is too loaded a term to be used regarding Malkin's appearance on George Stephanopoulos's show.

By the way, if we're getting into Stephanopoulos being a man and Malkin being a woman somehow putting a burden on the words and making them more inappropriate due to the genders involved, let's forget about ABC's This Week and talk about The View. Malkin is appearing on that show this morning.

Readers can respond to my words anyway they want: if they find me triggering, crude, low-class, or obscene, they don't have to read my blog. If they find me sexist or racist or just wrong, I hope those readers will ask me if I meant it that way. I've found more than once that I'm not always as clear or as sensitive as I might desire to be.

Let me be clear and direct on this point, however: Malkin is whoring her hack-published, lie-filled, piece of shit book on national television this week, and any television outlet that gives her air-time is pimping that whoredom for no other reason than some back-alley syphilitic 'fuck-her-in-the-mouth-instead' publicity deal that is a filthy excuse for balanced journalism.

Betcha any penny Malkin is making from Regnery Press (yeah) is going straight to her agent and then some. There is definitely a crack whore dichotomy going on here: sell the book, huff the publicity, go broke.

I make no apologies for the words I use here, though @laurakeet is exactly right: the subject about which I write is real and tragic.