Free advice for Madison Avenue

Um, okay, I'll bite. The marketing geniuses at Twix want us to blog about this, obviously.

But I just don't know where to begin with this one.

Let me put this very simply, Madison Avenue: a hairdo in an ugly sweater, who pulls a fucking Twix bar out of his pants at a party will never get into mine.

That, plus he is carrying a Ubiquitous Red Cup, and anyone who reads Hot Chicks with Douchebags knows that proximity to a URC, labels him as a definite douche.

And really, you portray this woman as politically obsessive and suffering from verbal diarrhea. She may be Michelle Malkin, for crying out loud. Lefty bloggers in my experience don't talk politics or blogging at parties anyway. That's shop, and it's tacky.

You wouldn't know this, because you are a Madison Avenue douchebag, but blogging is a bit like sex. One does not talk about it constantly if one is doing it well and fairly often.

What really happens at a party like this is, he pulls out a laser printed business card with his url, gets her email and waits three days to use it. Or he's been emailing her for sex, er, I mean, six months, and then she agrees to meet him at a party. She's already hot for him because he's such a good blogger, and so long as he doesn't use a Twix bar to help him think what to say next, the "apartment" thing might just happen.

All he has to do is make sure she isn't Michelle Malkin. Or Pammy. And lose the fucking Twix bar.