Monday, July 28

I don't do memes. But in this case...

...Urantian Sojourn went ahead and posted some Teletubbie porn so I just hadda respond.

What you're supposed to do is:

1. List these rules on your blog.

2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog.

3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs. Nope. I STILL don't do the tag thing, because I feel everyone's blog is their own space, and I'm not going to move into your space and tell you you need to rearrange your furniture to enable a conversation center with exactly twenty-two throw pillows for proper feng shui. But hey, I don't mind a bit if you want to post seven essential things about yourself and link this post as your inspiration. Go right ahead.

Okay here goes:

1. I beat myself up a lot.

It's true, you're not the only one. Even Blue Gal thinks she's not a good enough writer, mother, weight-manager, housekeeper, financial planner, sex goddess, daughter, or correspondent. I haven't quite given up believing that Oprah Magazine will fix alla dat, either, but I'm close.

2. I look like Nigella Lawson. Kind of like, a lot like her.

When I'm beating myself up I think Nigella Lawson is fat. Otherwise she's hot and so am I, in a plump "I love life and I love to eat and you can guess what else I love to do, luvaboy" kinda way. says I'm a Slightly Dorky High Nerd.  What are you?  Click here!

3. You are not boring me when you talk about Science Fiction. Here's proof.

4. Like the late J. Edgar Hoover before me, I prefer the "company" of men. Unlike J. Edgar, I'm straight.

I hope that dispels any rumors that I am secretly a guy.

5. I was born old.

6. I'm a late bloomer, in just about every instance. I think that has a lot to do with being born old, though. I never felt the need to drive a car or drink or do anything else (yeah, that too) to prove I was "mature."

7. I believe I have a guardian angel. I also believe that she looks just like Amy Winehouse on her best day, and that my angel has no patience whatsoever for the "beating myself up" part of my personality. She is always telling me to shut the fuck up when I engage in negative self-talk.

I don't tag. But if you want to do this and give me a link, hey, feel free. Leave a link to your post in comments, too, so we can check you out. Thanks.


  1. Anonymous7:37 PM

    You DO look like Nigella Lawson and yeah, she's hot.

  2. hell, mine are pretty much yours, except that i got sick and therefore am thinner and my guardian angel is weirder.

    this, i am sure of!

    i hsve no idea who i look like tho others have told me i look like a little elvish type without pointy ears. ; )

  3. Who on earth thought you were secretly a guy?

  4. long ago and far away, before I showed my face, Uncommon. But people are always making assumptions and such about anonymous bloggers.

  5. i stuck 2 pictures of myself on my blog. 1 with black hair, 1 after i let it grow out this spring.

    can anyone tell me if i look like anyone other than an elf??

    bg DOES look very much like nigella lawson, i'm wondering about me!

  6. Anonymous3:07 PM

    Nicely done, BG; all the inquiring minds here at US are saitia-ated. Sort of. It really can be rather dificult to choose outdoor furniture and the proper number of pillows from the vast variety of choices and styles available. But the Teletubbie-porn part of me feels for the beating-up part of you; maybe the recent tanking of Oprah's mag will help.

    I see you were born old and ready to fist-bump! And that Nigella Lawson-- Ssssst! She does look like you-- but do you have a Wiki entry like she does?? (Nuh-uh.)

    But you'll be glad to know you have three Guardian Seraphim; all the more reason to listen to them when you should.

    Now back to work. Sigh.

  7. As for you, dangerous fun for a night first comes to mind...

    Ditto on the self-flagellation, later bloomer and born old thing.

    As for the Nerd Thing, I don't believe the test is an accurate barometer of Nerdiness, as it ignores the pocket protector vs. broken glasses quotient. It is but a facet of a multidimentional polyhedron.

    So there!

  8. 1. when left completely to myself, with no appointments, obligations, deadlines, expectations, or bedtimes, i will stay up until i have seen every tolerable "free" movie i can find on cable [and some intolerable ones] or i lose consciousness, whichever comes first.

    2. how big of a "coffee snob" am i: when visiting someone else's house for a dinner or some other food-related party, i invariably will take over the coffee making. this is always entertaining in households of non-coffee drinkers.

    3. i've never tried opiates recreationally, nor anything intravenously; i've tried pretty much everything else out there. including whip-its decanted into balloons.

    4. in high school was a national merit scholar semifinalist based on english, history, and verbal SAT scores alone; i was pretty much a D student in both science and math.

    5. i am the son of a preacherman. yes, everything they say about us is true.

    6. all the people who ignored me in high school now want to be my friend on Facebook.

    7. i have fired a gun exactly once in my life, at a coors can sitting on a fence rail. i missed.

    8. when i was about 5 i went fishing for big mouth bass on the black river with my grandfather. i caught a bigger fish than he did. you can no longer find bass in the black river, AFAIK.

    9. my last drink, about 21 years ago, was a magnum of burgundy followed by shots of tequila.

    10. i had a bit part in a small independent film project, in which i played a thug with a mohawk.

  9. Anonymous1:53 AM


  10. ain't nuttin wrong w/svelte, bubbi.

    i likes me a gal w/a little meat on her bones, a little push in the tush, a little broad in the beam.


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