may I speak frankly, Liss? Because as a dead ringer for Nigella Lawson,
...except my butt is way bigger, I have a few things to say and I've actually been thinking about this all morning.
There are men who think they need arm candy in order to impress other men. They are actually engaging in homoerotic dating, pleasing other men rather than themselves.
Then there are women who look like arm candy, but when they get a boob job it makes them look sexy but sex hurts after the surgery forever, so they are sick, sick people.
Speaking frankly, dear. Just remember that, but in this instance I really don't know how else to put it:
Then there are men who really want to titty-fuck their much-loved woman until their brains don't work any more, and women for whom that feels really really good. These women have generous bodies and happy sex partners.
Sorry I just had to get that off my chest, which is a 40DD in case anyone is wondering.
Oh the reason I thought of this was I glanced at the most recent Marie Claire magazine yesterday, and it had articles on "achieving your happy weight" and also get this, Got Curves? Style fixes that do the trick.
They can fuck me, and I don't mean in the happy-weight titty-fucking way, either.
Blue Gal, I would argue that many women do the same exact thing.
ReplyDeleteCertainly many women use dress as a way to show off in front of other women. Some of us clueless men think that women dress to kill in an effort to attract us. We should be so lucky. It's an effort to show off and a challenge for other women to keep up with them. Females are just as competitive as males, though their spirit is manifest in a much subtler, more passive-aggressive approach.
I have also know women who date arm candy for the same reasons: attention, competition, and conquest.
Would they be privy to a sort of homoerotic appeal as well? I don't know...I'm just throwing that out there.
As you know, I, being one of those odd October 24th types go for an intelligent woman. The thought of being with a vacuous woman makes me want to grind my teeth down to nubs.
BG - Wow. I'm sooo glad you said this.
ReplyDeleteThough I'm not even in the same league of beauty with you or Nigella,who's tops on MathMan's list of gorgeous women, I do share your body shape and am tired of being told that my curves need to be squeezed, shaped and fixed.
I've been fat most of my life, well with the possible exception of that time during my mid-life crisis (at 42) when I lost 100 lbs. I found that it really didn't make me any happier, and it carried a whole lot of issues I hadn't even thought about before setting out to lose the weight.
ReplyDeleteI've put it all back on and then some, and I've been thinking about this subject a lot lately.
I must confess that I would like to lose some weight, not that because I think it would make me "happier" ... but because as I get older (now 54) I'm finding it harder to move through the world carrying all this weight.
I have a great job that I love, a wonderful home that I've completely remodeled, and three adorable dogs that are barking right now for their dinner!
I'm a generally happy person, but I would like to be able to do some of the things I could do much easier 20 years ago.
And I absolutely agree there is far too much emphasis placed on how women look!
BAC
human beings are often absorbed by the emodied condition of their existence.... their sexuality.... and mortality.....
ReplyDeletei've walked in both bodies due to health issues. been round, been teeny. i can say i thing, i would never ever give the time of day let alone my body to someone that didn't look at me heavy the way they did thin.
ReplyDeletei also have wanted to literally PUNCH a few men who did not know that i had ever been heavy,fat, plump, round whatever...
and made crul and unfunny jokes to me when a heavy woman walked thru the door.
i was lucky that i was heavy when i first became ill the one time because i would have had to have a feeding tube if i didn't have the extra weight to lose because i couldn't swallow much of anything for months.
be happy in your own skin and people will want to be happy with you.
never did have large breasts tho, phooey!
oh, and i think nigella is gorgeous too.
typos, sorry
ReplyDeleteSometimes we dress for both sexes, if you knowwhaddImean. *wiggles eyebrows*
ReplyDeleteIn all seriousness, though, ever since I was little I've felt pressure to be thin -- and I was, until about 4 years ago. Now I'm just on the high end of normal, and am (obviously) still feeling the pressure. It's getting old.
And I am so irritated with Marie Claire lately! I nearly cancelled my subscription recently after reading an article about "starter marriages" that stated that if a woman is married and divorced before the age of 30, it's because she just wasn't that committed to the idea of marriage. (I thought, lady, until you've walked a mile in the shoes of a woman who's gone through it...) But it was the middle of the night, and the sub was a gift from my sister, so I didn't. But they just won't stop with the stuff that makes me grumpy!
Grr.
I'll probably be posting on this sometime soon, myself. But I love your post. :)
What a post... brilliant. So I can see we have yet another thing in common BG, a similar bra size along with many ideas and oh yeah that other thing.
ReplyDeleteAs someone who has struggled with weight her whole life and likely will continue to do so, this topic makes me scream. I've made peace with who I am. Would I like to be thinner? Yes, but not by a lot. Right now I am at a size that is a bit uncomfortable. Until I move etc, I think I am just in a rut.
That said, to have finally found a partner who is not fixated on that and who seems to have more than a certain appreciation for the brain weight - I am happy. I wouldn't have settled for less at this age or stage of my life.
What troubles me is the "weight" of oppression that comes through these cultural messages. I see how it affects so many women and even worse, young women.
My 11 year old step daughter is not too fixated, but every now and then... She is totally normal sized, not heavy and not too thin.
Pretty much what would now go for chubby. And it breaks my heart.
So let's hear it for loving what we have, being healthy and making good choices.
And if someone doesn't like it... they can move along.
I would like to set the record straight. Dcup is my favorite curvaceous women. I wouldn't trade her for Nigella. She's really my number #1.
ReplyDeleteA society that thinks a womans curves(or any other aspect of her person,)is a mistake that needs to be 'fixed',is a society that really doesn't like women very much.
ReplyDeletemy mom is 88, she was sick recently plus my father passed away in may. my mom has always been a short big boned stocky southern italian woman.
ReplyDeleteshe is thrilled that she has lost a ton of weight! at 88! her doctor is concerned tons of tests etc. but she is happy as a clam.
now that says some terrible things about the times she grew up in and the times we still are in.
Forget eye-candy, stick to the real thing - Reese's Peanut Butter cups!
ReplyDeleteBear in mind - there are no songs about women with small asses.
ReplyDeleteThere is a reason.