Sunday, September 9

My new bra.

It's really pretty. (actual scan)

But I had to crack up at the attached product tag:

I mean, first of all, this is my first "push up" anything. It appears that cantilever technology has advanced to the point that the weight-support-to-volume-ratios have increased dramatically. It's one helluva engineering problem, trust me.

But honestly, what kind of bra marketing geniuses would use verbage usually reserved for, um, skateboarding? To describe a woman's undergarment? Oh nevermind, I found them:

Yeah this is supposed to be a panties blog and sure I got the matching panties but you'll never see them here.


  1. I guess if they can build that Skywalk thing over the Grand Canyon, anything is possible.

  2. Anonymous4:03 PM

    I was going to make some whiny ass remark about applying the word extreme to anything having to do anything with breasts.

    Then I read Qwerty's comment and all the whine went out of me.

  3. i could use some extreme cleavage. heck, i could use any cleavage!

    ; )

  4. Dude, that's wicked. I had no idea Mountain Dew and Doritos went into the undergarment business. Normal bras just don't cut it when you're watching Shark Week.

  5. Another sad example of human hypersexualization of damn near everything.... I think it has something to do with embodiment and mortality.


  6. Anonymous10:18 PM

    I'm slightly fascinated by the 'Indulgent' tag. As in, 'sometimes, after a hard day, I like to indulge myself with a bit of extreme push-up, maximum cleavage - I'm worth it, after all'?

    And seriously - is it the absolute maximum limit for cleavage? Did the next design in testing just explode or, more horrifically, destroy the bust of the lab model?

    "You're creating too much cleavage!"

    "Leave me alone - I'm making history!"

    "You're... you're insane!"

    "Just 1% more... almost there... "

    "Dear God, Noooooooo!!!!"

    Fire, smoke, chaos, mayhem... then silence...

  7. Anonymous10:36 PM

    Being the dork I am, I was curious about the name balconet. Of course, I looked it up, and of course, it lends a whole new meaning to boobs on display.

    balconet (n) - a railing or balustrade before a window, giving the effect of a balcony.

    I suppose that's as good a description of extreme cleavage I've ever heard.

  8. other than holding them in front of yourself on a silver platter and decorated with whipped cream, yeah, a good description. ; )

  9. Actually Poobah, here's whatcha do to simulate the whole balconette bra deal: Take a plastic cereal bowl and cut it in half. Superglue each half face up to the wall or a large pillow, if that's your thing. Make two medium sized water balloons, and put them in the bowl halves, making sure the water balloons fill the half-bowls and then some.

    Schmear the balloons with chocolate pudding. Enjoy.

  10. my right wing Christianish but otherwise wonderful son-in-law, puts boobs in God's top five best creations. I'm also a fan. boobs could bring America together again. that's what we're lacking down Kentucky way, a boob creationism museum. see Jimmy, boobs and dinosaurs coexisted. now there's a field trip no jr. high school boys would miss.


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