Sunday, November 23

Blue Gal Answers Your Sex Questions.
Okay, not YOUR sex questions.


Just some anonymous person. Not even anyone you even know. Trust me.

1. No. I don't care how far you go to make your girlfriend look like a guy. If she's a GIRLfriend, and you are not doing it with any men whatsoever, then you are not bisexual. Ahem, "accoutrements" to your girlfriend do not count as actual male anatomy, ever, no matter where she puts them. Okay, no linky, I've already said too much.

2. No. You don't get to sue McDonald's because some employee downloaded the naked pictures of your wife from the cellphone you left there by accident. You act as though no one has ever seen what your wife's got. On the internet. On a cellphone pic.

Wait. You had to MOVE because naked pictures of your wife are on the internet? If you live in Utah, maybe. But you're Phillip Sherman and his wife, Tina, and you live in Arkansas. It's all over Yahoo News. Give it up, dude.

3. If making your eye look like this requires ten shades of eyeshadow from a product line that includes twenty different numbered brushes just for eyes...

...if, when you are given a school assignment to write about what you enjoy, and the first thing that comes to mind is, makeup....

...if, when you write about eyeshadow, you use "getting married to it" as your chosen metaphor...

you have a fetish. Not judging you here. This is definitely a "hey, whatever turns you on" blog. But it's a fetish, and you might find, I dunno, chandelier bondage* to be less equipment-focused. Just make sure your mascara is waterproof.

*Yes, my google search hits were getting kinda skimpy.

6 comments:

  1. no more skimping! the damn thing will probably break down now from the overload.

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  2. Are you saying that you don't wear underwear on Sunday because of God?

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  3. 1) OK, but what if your girlfriend used to be a guy, Ms. smartie underpants?

    2) You do in 18 states if it comes with a Happy Meal.

    3) Chandelier bondage? Only for the hoi polloi...The working class must use a coffee table and some duct tape if they wish to indulge in such byzantine pleasures.

    ;>)

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  4. Marcus...she's a Quaker. They never wear underwear except during...uhoh...gone too far already...

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  5. I agree with you all round. I think McDonald's should sue the guy for even being dumb enough to find them somehow liable. Note to self---if you take nudie pics of your girlfriend, I think it wouldn't be safe to take them along with you where you go. Keep them password protected on some nice hard drive.

    And as for Lindsay Lohan, I don't think she's gay. I do think she's experimenting, but she's clearly not smart enough to be able to form a coherent sentence by herself much less make any kind of definitive statement.

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  6. Jim, thanks for the information, I am Lutheran and as far as I know, most if not all Lutheran women wear underwear.

    ReplyDelete

I really look forward to hearing what you have to say. I do moderate comments, but non-spam comments will take less than 24 hours to appear... Thanks!