Tuesday, September 30

Only in South Carolina.

First of all, the mayor's name is Danny Funderburk. I know. I could stop there.

Then, he forwards a viral email which suggests that...wait for it...Barack Obama might! possibly! be! the antichrist!

And his excuse is, Cavuto time! He's just asking the question.

"I was just curious if there was any validity to it. I was trying to get documentation if there was any scripture to back it up."

As one of the few bloggers out there with a divinity degree, allow me to answer your "question," Funderburk.

There is no scripture behind which to hide your religious bigotry.

But you've given me an opportunity to illustrate what is going on in the South. Racial bigotry is bad for tourism, and public display of such is socially unacceptable among public figures.

Religious bigotry, including throwing around terms like antichrist and scripture, is still socially acceptable in South Carolina and much of the South. And "Muslim" is totally the new "n*gger."

Vlog 9/30

Here's a link for The Big Read.

On topic must-reads about ways to fix the banking/housing debacle from Driftglass and Peter Dreier.

Great Salon last night.

McCain adviser Nancy Pfotenthaler, apparently on Fox and Friends (you mean they still have any?) said Gwen Ifill would "have to answer for" too many foreign policy questions at Thursday's debate.

Hey just so long as Palin has to answer, I'm happy.

To paraphrase Batocchio at tonight's Salon:

Biden should answer every single question, "I yield my time to the Governor of the great state of Alaska."

Her abilities may be few, but in her defense, Ms. Palin has made Dan Quayle look like an experienced statesman.

Because of the stock market situation, for today only, you know, while the markets are stabilizing :) this special button sets the amount you may give in the second day of my three-day fundraiser to seven dollars. That's one one-hundred-billionth what Hank wanted for HIS friends.

Click the button above to make a seven dollar donation to Blue Gal. Thank you!

And if you sold short (that would be you, Senator Boehner, you fucker), or, oppositely, if you, like one of my readers, you are simply a modest patron of the blog arts (love that), you may give more by clicking on this button:

Donate any amount to Blue Gal. Thank you!

Monday, September 29

Salon tonight on Skype 9 Eastern, (video blog tomorrow)

Blue Gal Salon 9/29 hosted by blue.gal.

Join now

Chat about what's on your mind. More about public chats.

Hope to see you then!

Sorry Mister Biden, I gotta go now...

...my cerebral fluid is leaking."

[thanks for that one, Sandy.]

The differences between me and Hank Paulson.

(Thanks to Zaius for the original photoshop)

...one of us doesn't have a 401K.

...one of us made 6.1 million more than the other (in 2006 dollars, though)

...if providing financial aid to the rich was virtuous, he'd be elevated to sainthood.

...if advocating and inspiring small bloggers [not to mention raising three young kids as a single mom] qualified as "creative genius," she'd win a MacArthur Grant.

...I'm not even asking for a bailout. Just put some pocket change in the hat, wink, and I thank ye.

...oh, and Paulson does not accept Paypal. Yet. But this blog does:

My bank account and some very devoted readers to this blog have convinced me to run quarterly fundraisers. The General's rules apply: if you like this blog and can give, please do. If you don't like this blog or can't, don't. And no hard feelings.

Whether you give or don't, thanks for reading this blog. You've changed my life for the better, more than you can ever know. Thank you.

Sunday, September 28

poem for Sunday

The old woman in the post office had already found the fountain of youth.
She simply stayed, oh, six? Forever. I could not imagine how she got to this spot:
Simple as the neat letters and numbers on her envelope, clutched tightly, held in anxious waiting.
The envelope itself could have taken her hours, but it had to get there so soon, so soon.

“Can this get there tomorrow?” she asked the civil servant,
Who pulled out rate cards and form and began his spiel about tracking numbers.
She stared at him. “But will I get an answer tomorrow?” I wanted to give her an award.
She was the only person in the post office who knew.

Saturday, September 27

What we learned last night...

What we learned last night is that after 20 months they can't stand to look at each other. They also seemed very Senatorial to me, masters of the statistical blah de blah blah.

And of course Obama won. Even Republican pundits said so.

But the moment that struck me was when the gentlemen were comparing bracelets and trading perspectives about mothers sending sons to war. They didn't mention the women, the mothers, who have also died in Iraq.

I had an opportunity last weekend to see the actual pieces from The Mother's Day Project. No photo can do them justice. Each white strip above has the embroidered name of a fallen woman soldier. If only the military had published names of fallen civilians.

A small aside: I don't use the "C" word that Mister McCain used on his wife on at least one occasion, but if I did, I would reserve it for people who call themselves feminists and then say supporting McCain/Palin proves that. That is all.

Saturday Song

too disco for late night music club? pffft.

Thursday, September 25

No time for blogging today!

My six-year-old has discovered my computer's "paint" program. And she's, well, talented.

Speaking of rolling down a frozen hill, the McCain campaign: didja notice all the (AP, yeah, I know) photos of Sarah Palin suspending her campaign?

Wednesday, September 24


Twitter messages from viewers will appear during Friday's Presidential Debate on CurrentTV.

And so NOW we have a reason-to-be-so-very-missing George Stephanopolous and Charlie Gibson, who won't be hosting any.

You know, I really like this person...

...except, of course, for the "Ralph Nader" part.

If there was no Nader part, and she was just giving the rest of this speech, how would you respond? I'd really like to hear from my readers on this. [and obviously, this speech was given before the whole "gimme 700 billion or the world goes up in smoke!" highway robbery effort in DC]

Tuesday, September 23

Well OF COURSE you do.

From here. Click image for larger. Because, hey, is that Season 3 under the bed?

A friend writes...

…being a longtime reader of your blog, incidentally AND delightedly, I would just like to express a simple thanks. ...You seem remarkably restrained in your indictment of the thugs and their bête noire Palin. It’s difficult to remember a time when I, and others, I’m sure, have been more insulted.

I just think there's a difference between being outraged and insulted, and being impressed. Sure, Bushco has been the Worst. Presidency. Ever. and I'm concerning myself with ways I can help to undo what has been done.

But there's no point in allowing our "concerns" to rob us of our peace. I think we sometimes enshrine our own emotional reactions to wrong, and it blocks us from doing what we can to change things.

Remember ma hunnies, one can be enraged over the dead children (this scene from Henry V shows a war crime, the murder of servant boys on the field of battle)...

...and yet not know the day is ours: "Praised be God, and not our strength for it."

And I hope you watched to the end, when even the victorious King himself is reminded that he is no more than a leek-wearing Welshman. And that his honesty is his most important quality.

"God keep me so."

Stay strong, stay focussed, stay humble, fight on.

Monday, September 22

Salon tonight on Skype 9 Eastern

Blue Gal Salon 9/22 hosted by blue.gal.

Join now

Chat about what's on your mind. More about public chats.

Vlog 9/22

Under ten minutes, gets a little personal at the beginning, but I think you guys can handle that. :)

Skype Salon tonight, 9 Eastern. Hope to see you there.

I guess there's something offensive about coat-hangers in Brownsville, Texas?

About the Sarah Palin/wiring post here:

Oh. Maybe it was the word "creative" in the title? I didn't mean any disrespect to God in the opening of Genesis, Brownsville. But welcome to my blog, I noticed it was your first visit here. It would have to be.

Sunday, September 21

Where we need to go with the "swing" voters...

...because seriously, the deal with them is, they're voting for President the same way they voted in High School for Prom King and Queen. How will it make ME look to vote for Johnny and Sarah, rather than for Barry and Joe?

Convincing them that voting for Johnny will make THEM as voters look stupid is right on the money, honey.

BTW I realize I'm about five news cycles late on this one, but I've actually been on a very nice vacation, the children and I staying with some friends out of town. A lovely, lovely time. Back to more up-to-date programming, I expect, though I hope you don't come here or to any one blog for breaking news or up-to-date analysis, anyway. I pity bloggers who think that they have to take on that responsibility.

Friday, September 19

Bad Mommy blog.

It turns out I put nuclear waste on my six-year-old's plate the other night.

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't do that. She just screamed AS IF I had put nuclear waste on her plate.

What I DID was let her macaroni and cheese TOUCH her carrots.

She knows about these cafeteria divider plates and thinks I won't buy them on purpose.

This from a child who when the soda is from one of those public serve-yourself fountains, squirts two ounces of each into her big cup and drinks the whole root-beer-orange-lemon-lime-fruit-punch-diet-lemonade-mister-pibb concoction without comment.

Thursday, September 18

And while we're on the topic of Shakesville...

Her question of the day yesterday is damn fine:

What is your political philosophy, in a single sentence?

Mine is pretty simple (and impossible for me to forget):

"Think of the kids."

For a broader philosophy, not merely political, I like Emerson (two sentences, sue me):

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”

One of our own gets a profile at Huffpo

William K. Wolfrum blogs at Shakesville from time to time, and there's a piece up at Huffpo ABOUT him here. Congratulations!

A creative outlet for my rage.

I'm so mad I'm even linking to big orange.

Wednesday, September 17

POST... to my BLOG?!?

I haven't even visited my blog today. Teacher conferences for my son ate away the day, and that's a very good thing.

But The Reaction has the blog post title of the day.

And Loretta Nall sent me here, turns out if you're the kid of a white Republican officeholder, you can not only get teen pregnant with impunity, you can also smuggle drugs with impunity!

And I agree with the divine Ms. Nall (oh and Alabama's attorney general before he became a complete douchebag) that anyone thrown in jail for drugs should NOT have their voting rights taken away, as well.

Finally, I'm really really impressed that Wayne Besen called for the dismantling of the Log Cabin Republicans BEFORE he found out that Ellen DeGeneres would be the new face of Cover Girl Makeup.

Now it's like, how could they NOT disband. Self-hatred plus gay is just. so. over.

Tuesday, September 16

Coming soon to a Caribbean near you: The Six Day Dante's Circle of Hell Cruise!

Not a photoshop, folks! I could make a joke about how Fred Thompson, Mitt Romney, and the entire senior staff of the National Review Online will all be in the same boat after November 4, but hey! They will be!

I wonder why they aren't staying closer to home. Don't they think they'll be needed for the McCain Transition Team or something?

If you're brave enough to go to the cruise website you'll notice a listing for Deroy Murdoch, who I figured must be a Rupert relation, right?

Um, note to the copy editors, it's Murdock. And he's a black guy. They wouldn't misspell someone's last name to pretend that there was an actual Murdoch on board, would they?

And the cruise website cut and pasted Kathryn Jean Lopez's bio, too. It says she was featured in Playboy, asterisk, but then there's no notation reassuring us that we do not have to think about her naked in a magazine photo spread.

Confession: I read NRO The Corner for fun. And my favorite NRO quote of the month comes, as it so often does, from Ms. Lopez herself. What did we learn, Katie Jean, from Palin's interview with Charlie Gibson? Well...

Not the type of things that will help in the writing of an intellectual biography.

Now that's taken out of context, but if you read the rest of just this one piece on Palin...well, let it never be said that certain NRO editors with Playboy bonafides can't fake an O.

Sunday, September 14

Music for whenever....

Move On - Mike Doughty

Go say hi

...to Just Indignation, a brand new blog and the latest addition to the BG blogroll.

Mr. Ed is a great photographer and has an actual blogpost up about Joe Biden. You remember HIM, doncha?

The real story
, folks, is that McCain's crowds would fit in my teeny tiny house were it not for her. They have to travel together. He needs her for the draw, and she needs him so she'll be able to continue to lie about the Bridge to Nowhere with a straight face.

The Mitt Romney Story comes to Bollywood...

Saturday, September 13

playing around with Movie Maker

I just played around on a Saturday morning, sound is off a bit. I'm not sure I'll spend a lot of time with this tool (I lurve doing the Bollywood stuff and that's much less time consuming).

One thing that's nice about being able to grab youtubes and edit them is when the movie clip you want to use to illustrate a blog post is too long, you can clip it.

For you techies, I'm using Youtube Robot and Windows Movie Maker.

A mashup of the infamous interview and the viral baby video.

Saturday Song

Dead Can Dance, "The Wind that Blows the Barley."

Friday, September 12

From the Archives...

I was looking something up on my own blog this afternoon, and came across this piece, some of which is pretty good and worth saying again... - bg

Blogging has made me a better person. Bear with me for a little personal anecdote:

I came across a short, unassuming woman in a bad suit while waiting for a train to Toronto a few weeks back, and I noticed she had a totebag from some molecular biology convention. I struck up a conversation with her about her work in molecular biology, as if I know anything about that, which I totally don't. But I thought to myself, maybe if I talk to her I can learn something that will be blog-able.

It turns out she does some kind of protein study for a university in upstate New York. Her work is related to immunity, and why some cells are able to acquire immunity while others don't, and some lose their immunity while others keep it. Folks, I didn't understand a bit about the technical stuff she was saying, but someday she and her colleagues may come up with an AIDS vaccine. That is her fricking GOAL, people. She just blew me away, this unassuming woman who is a warrior on the real frontlines in the battle against AIDS. And she was delighted that someone at the train station was actually interested in asking her about her work.

I got on the train realizing just how glad I was that I had taken the time to talk to her, even if I wasn't going to use the conversation for my blog.

And then I just did.

I worry about those bloggers who are hoping to parlay their blog into something else. A job with a political campaign, for instance. I was a volunteer for Ted Kennedy for President in 1980 and Kennedy for Senate the next time. (Uh, have I earned my liberal-cred wings yet?) At the Senate campaign they had me do phone calls to invite donors to a fundraiser, and they asked me to use a false name when making the calls. For the phone calls, I was Kelly. Yeah, Kelly Suckashamrock, I guess was my last name, God forbid I should be anything but Irish Catholic for this gig. In both campaigns I was surrounded by highly caffeinated, fast talking, slick and horny pols who lived on the phone with one hand and made passes with the other. You can watch the movies: The Candidate, Bulworth, Primary Colors, Shampoo. That is really what it is like, and you could not pay me enough to go back there. Remember, in the world of Blue Gal, intelligence is the aphrodisiac of choice. Power is not. (And by "power", of course, I mean "being an asshole".)

Same for those who are looking to become pundits in some other media. Look, if I have to hire a media consultant to teach me how to do anything, stick a fork in me. I'm finished. I don't want to sit next to George Will and tell him he is wrong about global warming while George Stephanopolooza referees. I can tell George Will he is wrong about global warming right here, and call him honey at the same time. Watch me:

George, honey, you're wrong on global warming. Kyoto is not too expensive. And whether it makes a difference for the temperature of the planet, a cleaner planet is always a good idea. Love on ya, Blue Gal.

I worry about us bloggers. We're all so new at this, and blogging is such a lovely medium in its own right. Some of us are still at the stage of linking to news articles and saying "me too" to Eschaton and The General. (Well, some of us like to blog about how funny it is putting an entire package of Mentos into a 2-liter Diet Coke, but I digress.) Some of us have amazing, just amazing, talents, as artists, as writers, as humorists, and yes, as pundits. I hate, just hate, to see bloggers think of what they are doing as a stepping-stone to something "better," because in my humble opinion there is nothing better. I mean that.

Keep blogging, and keep the faith.

And while we're on a controversy riff...

There was quite a bit of it over at the big blog over the use of this image, presented without comment, at last night's open thread.

Some took umbrage, some defended it.

My two cents, and it isn't my image or my blog, is this:

If it were a drawing, no one would have said a goddamn thing. And that leads to a fifty-minute art history discourse on genre and medium which you will have to read elsewhere 'cause I sure ain't gonna write it.

That image, for all the photoshop work that went into it, is a political cartoon. Political cartoons are by definition, controversial propaganda.

There are some in the nation, and particularly in the liberal blogosphere, sad to say, for whom their own personal emotional reaction to any event, personal or not, must be displayed, celebrated, and fetishized in order to prove some point about sensitivity, liberalism, and rightness. I have very little time for that.

Nevertheless, some of the reaction to this was genuinely emotional, and appeared to come from people for whom 9/11 was more than a national tragedy. I expect those for whom 9/11 is a day of personal tragedy, spent it in quiet reflection, tears, and prayer. I would never be so callous as to suggest you surf or comment on the blogs or the television or the political cartoons on that awful anniversary. If your experience on 9/11/01 was in anyway a personal loss or a personal experience, regardless of whether you were there or lost someone (because "personal loss" is completely subjective), I am so sorry for that. There is also nothing any political blogger can say or do to assuage your feelings seven years later, or to offend your sense of loss.

Things I could spend the whole live long day writing about but won't.

It's a get-out-the-vote drive for young people starring Jessica Alba.


Thursday, September 11

Surprisingly not a photoshop.

Seen at huffpo a couple minutes ago. I take it all back, Arianna.

Quote of the day...

From the latest issue of Esquire (and no I didn't get the flashing cover in the mail):

video from Techspank (stop it you're making me hot). Esquire is embracing the whole tech thing, witness next month they publish an article edited via Wiki.

Anyhow I go to Esquire for the writing thankyouverymuch and this quote from an ex-Google employee (article not online, but it was fun to search for the word "google" on their search engine), who is now in charge of his own start-up, jumped out at me. Just sayin':

"I discriminate against white people," Ullah tells me one afternoon. "You should know that. I do. I also discriminate against brown people. The discrimination is subtly different. With the white guy, I know he's stupid. Whereas with the brown guy, he better be fucking brilliant. So I'll take the meeting with the brown guy, because I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. I will never give the benefit of the doubt to the white guy. But the bar is lower for the white guy, much higher for the brown guy. It's weird. It's this weird off-diagonal thing."

"This is great PR for the firm," [his partner] says softly from his desk.

Wednesday, September 10



The blogger Betty Cracker makes a very very clear point that overusing the sexism charge, especially when NOT warranted, cheapens the term.

What we are watching is John McCain's attempt to manipulate women...in the most ham-handed way I've ever seen in my adult life.

PS I don't know which I dislike more, linking Huffpo or agreeing with Mark Halperin.

But hey, if a douche like Halperin gets it and says it, we may be getting somewhere. An anthem for the evening, ma hunnies...

Ooh tell me please
Why it takes so long
To realize when there's something wrong...

[Another] word about hitcounts

I had a lovely exchange with one of the boys (and I'm old enough to be their mother, so don't put lipstick on that pig) from Clusterdouche. He had been picked up in a link by you-know-who at the round up you-know-where and had what one brilliant blogger called "morning hitcount wood."

Then...nothing. As I wrote to the Clusterdouche auteur:

oh that's so typical.

They hit you hard, put you away wet, and then NEVER CALL. don't you feel USED?

It is obvious from your blog (and trust me I can tell) that you don't do it for the hits.

I remember in college telling my dad that I wanted to be a writer. He said to me, "Well, don't forget dear, you are easily amused."

I remember thinking, "yeah but isn't that the point?"

Keep amusing yourself and they will come. Then they'll sleep on the dry spot, and you'll wake up alone... It's so unfair....

Tuesday, September 9

I'll vote for the Barack we have,
but here's the Barack I wish we had...

Stolen from The Blue Herald, thanks to Batocchio for the tip.

And hey, while we're looking at lolcats...

Hmm, nailed Lindsey Graham, didn't they?

Monday, September 8

Salon tonight on Skype 9 Eastern

Blue Gal's Salon Sept 8 hosted by blue.gal.

Join now

Chat about what's on your mind. More about public chats.

Skype Salon is just typing, not singing or talking or anything that requires use of a headset. All you need is a keyboard and high speed internet.

Hope to see you there 9 Eastern for about an hour.

Blue Gal's Video Blog 9/8/08

Sunday, September 7

Poor Sean Hannity and Mark Levin...

Too bad for you guys there isn't an association for, ahem, men like you. I'll just leave it at that.

Dear Red State:

I hate linking to conservative so-called "blogs," but you guys are morans. As in:

Maybe that's Lee Hempfling in the picture, though.

BTW many many thanks to the Youtube viewer who emailed me to say I was the "anti-Monica Crowley." You made my whole darn day.

Saturday, September 6

Did anyone else hear this?

On All Things Considered?

Get this widget | Track details | eSnips Social DNA

Fair use, baby. And transcript by me:

Female College Republican: This is Pearl. I am a pro-life Republican. I hope that she [Sarah Palin] will vote for overturning Roe v. Wade. Although I'm not sure about the details of legalizing abortion in the cases of rape or incest, or things like that, because in those specific cases then I am, um, pro-abortion, um...

NPR host: She has said that she doesn't support abortion, even in those cases, rape or incest.

Student: Okay, well that's news to me. Well hopefully, in that case, she will have had enough advice, because I think if she does, make it completely illegal, there will be, it'll be, it will cause a lot of controversy.


HUH? Okay this is a very young woman who is obviously completely indoctrinated and intellectually over her head. If I weren't a democrat-small-d, I'd say it's a pity she can vote. But her equivocation on abortion is proof positive that we Democrats HAVE to take the issue to them, HAVE to say right to Sarah Palin's face, hey, wait a goddamn minute:

Are you in favor or arresting and prosecuting women who have abortions?

Are you in favor of forcing women under the age of 18, 16, 14, to carry a baby to term if they are pregnant due to being raped by their own father?

How long should the prison term be for any woman who breaks that law? Life without parole?

And so on. And point out that hell yeah, abortion is icky, let's make sure everyone has lots of alternatives to that morally unpleasant and emotionally trying experience. But think before you change laws to suit the fundies. You. Will. Be. Sorry.

A Preview of the General Election Debate

And right after the white guys sang "Camptown Ladies"?


Saturday Song

Friday, September 5

A free badge for your blog.


Anyway, I didn't want to confuse anyone. The post below is what I do to anonymous coward trolls when I spot them.

South Texas Community College? get back to work.

Friday LOLcat blogging?

I know...there's way too much being said in that photoshop. But I like...

I love my mom: she thinks Sarah Palin was "unprofessional" when she criticized Obama's community activism. Of course, my mother also thinks late night cable TV can be "very suggestive."

It's also going to be very unprofessional if she is invited on Meet the Press and doesn't show up.

Thursday, September 4

Oh, and by the way....

Thanks for the email, SP.

Time for a breather.

I know how exhausting this is.

It feels dirty sometimes to write about politics. And the anger of it all can get to you.

And let's not forget that for the first time since 1980, a wide swath of the Democratic Party is heartbroken. Heartbreak takes time to heal, and time is something that doesn't exist on the battlefield. Retreat when you are in pain is completely necessary.

And to carry this analogy to its logical conclusion, the PUMA's were injured by friendly fire and therefore joined the enemy? I don't get that. But I digress...

More than one blogger has decided to stop blogging about the election (1, 2). Whether it is for mental health or a sense of being true to one's own values, those arguments are incontrovertible. We each have to follow our inner voice and higher power.

Like the angels who stay close to the throne of God, some of us are required to stay behind, away from the battle.

Some of us are sent to fight.

After all, there are angels in heaven who bare flaming swords.

All of us are required to stay alert, love more for every hate, and press on. We're not alone, we're together.

By the way, in my book, the creative force that led me to blogging is eternal and ever-present. Blogging is just the current medium for what I have been doing my whole life. It may change to something else someday, but I can't help but feel that, well, let Emerson take it home;

"What you are comes to you. ...The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well."


Oh, and no lie, I just took this quiz I found at Fran's and...well...watch out for us INFPs.

INFPs are introspective, private, creative and highly idealistic individuals that have a constant desire to be on a meaningful path. They are driven by their values and seek peace. Empathetic and compassionate, they want to help others and humanity as a whole. INFPs are imaginitive, artistic and often have a talent for language and writing. They can also be described as easygoing, selfless, guarded, adaptable, patient and loyal.


Wednesday, September 3


...an eighteen year old unwed pregnant girl was paraded in front of the entire world in order to buttress her mother's image as a premier spokesperson for the party of family values.

It is not misogyny to call that into question.

Update: Did I mention Governor Palin is a compulsive liar? I can't wait for the cross-exams from Biden. Can't. Wait.

I should probably keep my mouth shut.

Pope Benedict and I should just plain mind our own business. But enough people have asked me, and hey, I have a blog, so I'm going to open my big mouth.

I think Sarah Palin is a bad mother.

I hate even thinking that about anyone. Palin is an idiot. I don't care how many people want me to paint her as 'smart'. She's also a compulsive liar, and has obviously lied to herself that she can do the job of helping McCain to get elected, too.

As the mother of a special needs kid, I can tell you that at the time of his diagnosis I would have cut off my own limb before taking ANY job that took me away from his care.

I was lucky at that time that I did not need to work. I feel horrible for parents who must work outside the home to pay for the care of a special needs child.

But Christ, she's got a Down's Syndrome baby. She has no idea if the baby has any Mental Retardation issues at this point. Special needs babies are ALL CONSUMING and SHOULD BE. It's like the only issue she had was making political points from not aborting. And then it's right back to work? Not even the standard six weeks maternity leave? Are you kidding me? To hell with her.

And her teenager is out underage drinking (driving?) and fucking (apparently on a webcam, oh lawrd) while the mommy is Governor of Alaska. Don't let them give me any "it's a rural area" bullshit. You don't have to raise a redneck underage drinker just because everyone else in your podunk state is. Teenagers need supervision and to be kept busy doing something productive and safe, and that is goddamn hard to do. That's why they call it "parenting", instead of "syrupy cupcakes with sprinkles".

My guess is that Michelle Obama is going to have her daughters doing real community organizing at age, oh, eleven. And that any self-described "redneck" hockey player with a third of a bottle of rum and a digital camera will not have, ahem, any access whatsoever to the Obama girls.

Again, it's called parenting. You have a daughter, you protect her, even if she thinks you are a satanic bitch Nazi prison guard until she turns 22. That's okay by me, because I happen to be the meanest mommy in the whole, wide world.

But of course I didn't mention that Michelle Obama and I also have something called "class," which we hope to pass on to our daughters. Michelle seems to be doing okay on that one.

Sarah Palin isn't.

Governor Palin also has a serious, tragic, I would say clinical, lying problem. Not just about the Bridge to Nowhere and Troopergate. She is lying to herself. She has failed her daughter on lots of levels. I am very sad about that, but there, I said it.

BTW I wouldn't worry about Palin if she gets kicked off the ticket. After she implodes she'll have a Job-For-Life speaking at Crystal Cathedral type mega churches. That's what Ten Commandments Judge Roy Moore does now that his fellow Alabama Justices kicked him out.

Hell, if she can tone down her annoying voice she might even make it as a CNN Republican analyst, like Ralph Reed and Bill Bennett!!!

Tuesday, September 2

For the next couple days, everytime you hear a lie, take a drink.

More on Palin, Religion, and abortion...

Not a photoshop.

A fellow blogger asked me for my thoughts about Sarah Palin's religious extremism, and if the Democrats should pursue that term of endearment and risk re-opening the Reverend Wright controversies....My thoughts:

It doesn't matter at this point. Everyone's made up their minds about Obama. He's either a Muslim or he's a Black Panther/Weather Underground or he's what he is, a politician who has a base, and likely a faith, in the Black Christian Church.

Palin is still a blank page. And more and more it's figuring she was CHOSEN BY the religious right wing of the party. That's the issue here. McCain didn't choose her, James Dobson etc. DID. If you listen to Rachel Maddow you'll see that's the point she keeps dancing around and around, when David Effing Gregory will let her.

Also, it is clear that her religious motivations fuel her policy decisions. That makes them open game. If Obama ever said "well, I want the Church to determine when women seek various forms of healthcare" that would be an issue, too.

I'm going to re-post some stuff I wrote earlier on abortion, because that is the issue here, the only issue that makes Sarah Palin the GOP Vice-Presidential candidate.

I've said it before and I'm gonna say it again: we Dems will never have a firm handshake with a large cross-section of the American People(tm) until we at least reframe the abortion debate. A most frank and much-needed dose of advice came in the May 29 New Yorker from one Winston Simpson, a hog farmer from Missouri:

Simpson described himself as a loyal Democrat...”I’m even pro-choice--that’s how much of a Democrat I am,” he said. He came to that position, he explained, through his knowledge of animal husbandry. “If you’ve ever seen a young heifer get bred too soon, you know what a fiasco that is, which is why I think teen-agers should have access to abortion. But I’m out of the mainstream on this.” He continued, “I always tell people who are running for office that if they want to get elected in Missouri, when someone asks them for their feelings about Roe v. Wade don’t give some long scientific talk. Just say, ‘I’m against abortion’ and move on quick.” [emphasis mine]

If only we could. The author of this interview, Jeffrey Goldberg, goes into more detail regarding reframing the abortion debate on the New Yorker’s website:

Part of the Reagan revolution was getting people to change how they self-identified. Do you think that’s possible for liberals now?

Of course it’s possible, if the Democrats learn how to talk to people. Here’s a perfect example: abortion. Many moderate Democrats are looking at the way they talk to the country about abortion. What we see in a lot of candidates and at a lot of Democratic think tanks is that they’re all pro-choice, pro-Roe v. Wade, but they’re reframing the issue to emphasize not choice and individual rights but abortion reduction.

A recognition that an abortion represents a failure of one sort or the other.

That is not the belief of the hard-core activist pro-choice community. But polls have shown two interesting things: a majority of Americans are pro-choice, and a majority of Americans also see abortion as a moral problem. The Democrats can reach all these people if they show that they, too, believe in this pair of seemingly contradictory ideas. They’re not that contradictory.

Will abortion always be harder for the Democrats than something like Iraq, because of the deeply ingrained, heartfelt feelings involved?

Americans have very heartfelt feelings about national security, too. The way the Democrats can win on national security is to separate Iraq from the larger picture—or to use Iraq, do a kind of Karl Rove jujitsu, if you will, and say that the President has actually weakened our national security by invading Iraq.

I think we Democrats can doe a Karl Rove jujitsu on abortion, too. Here's how:

And while you’re reading this (thanks, btw) please keep in mind that I am a mother of three who has accepted Jesus Christ into her heart, yadda yadda yadda. I've also lived in Alabama for ten years. Here's the talking points:

1. Christian women get abortions. Plenty of them.

Never in pro-life literature does it talk about the large quantity, by some estimates over 20%, of abortions performed on born again Christian women. That article mentions the amazing story of a girl protesting at a clinic the day after her abortion. Then there's that old joke about the three times abortion is okay are "rape, life of the mother, and me."

There are actually two epidemics among women of the born-again persuasion: unwanted pregnancy and eating disorders. Both are based on ignorance, shame, and an self-repressed standard of womanhood that has very little basis in reality.

I’m repeating myself here, but doctors I talk to in Alabama say that the sexual blinders put upon young women in the Alabama Baptist Convention is a serious detriment to their health. They have sex anyway, and they have no idea how easy it is to get pregnant. Honeys, as far as God is concerned, the whole point of sex is to get pregnant.

No matter what your pastor says, God/mother nature/the reproductive impulse of the universe, does not care if you are married or not.

It may truly alienate the very voters we are trying to persuade, but the “what if it was your daughter?” question should in some subtle way be brought to the table. Or perhaps not so subtle...after all, what would Karl Rove do?

2. The religious right ground forces have been completely hoodwinked by their leadership on the abortion issue.

The Republican leadership, except for some few true-believers, really has no interest in resolving the abortion issue. Hell, even Laura Bush wants to re-frame the issue, and has said so for years, so therefore no one is allowed to ask her anymore.

The same desire for impasse on abortion could be said of the Planned Parenthood/pro-choice contingency, but I would argue that the Democratic leadership have more cred in terms of wanting a firm, eternal committment to choice, than the Republicans do of overturning Roe. The abortion issue is the biggest cash cow the Religious Right has on their farm, folks.

I’m convinced that a lot of the true believers, those average born-again church goers are feeling quite betrayed already. Those “little people” who donated money over the years to the Christian Coalition specifically to fight lottery proposals in the South are just a little pissed off at Ralph Reed.
Somehow money laundering of Indian casino money is not seen as the Christian thing to do. (Bless his heart.)

We need to point out just what is at stake here, and call the pro-life leadership on this. If you’re worried this will lead them to push harder against Roe, so what? That will wake up those voters who think we don’t need to worry about Roe. We do. I think it’s really important to blow the lid off of how much money is being donated to pro-life organizations and just how much of that money is being spent on so-called administrative costs. This article complains that upwards of 80% of money raised for these crusades goes to professional telemarketers running the campaigns. Who owns them? I wanna know. If this information is not publicly available, just make it up. Again, what would Karl do?

Oh, I’m just kidding.

The thing to do is to raise the question, again and again and again, so that these organizations and mega-churches are put on the defensive. Either they have to release information on fund-raising and how it is being spent, or they will see a drop in their fundraising due to the questions being raised.

See? Betcha Karl’s eating his heart out now...

3. Nevermind abortion. We need to re-frame the issue of accidental pregnancy as a high-priority public health concern.
Yes, libs, we’ll call it “women’s reproductive health” when we’re at the 92nd Street Y, okay? In Missouri, we’re gonna call it accidental pregnancy. NOT “unwanted pregnancy,” which conjures up images of hard-hearted baby-hating prostitutes aborting every other month. Every third person you meet was “an accident,” if their parents were perfectly honest. And every parent of an eighteen-year-old girl counts that accident as their worst nightmare, if THEY are perfectly honest. Publish a cost comparison between flying to that lovely Indian reservation in South Dakota versus flying to Scandinavia for an abortion. Put it in a chart for USA Today, so those Christians who pretend they can read the Bible can read this, and figger out that when Sissy forgets to take her pill, we don‘t wanna hafta learn how to say “take care of it” in Norwegian.

But I digress. I want a national dialogue lecture on how not to get pregnant. I want Oprah to have a book for her book club on how not to get pregnant, so at least one and a half million women in this country will have a partial clue. I want The View to talk about condoms and how often they fail and how to make sure they don’t. I want Seventeen and Cosmo Girl! and Women’s Day and Family Fuckin’ Circle to publish charts showing women how to measure their menstrual cycle and how to know when they are most likely to get pregnant and then tell them not to play Papal Pullout roulette but use some serious contraception and here’s how you use it and here’s where you get it.

Memo to Blue Cross/Blue Shield: Remember how Bill Clinton MADE you pay to keep C-section patients in the hospital for the medically-recommended three days? You are gonna fuckin’ pay for contraception, because using contraception is not a “lifestyle,” it’s a part of life. We value your cooperation. Thank you.

It's so bad at the RNC, they've automated the superdelegates:


Any IT help person sent by their company to get Blackberry Certified is too low on the corporate ladder to get a company Blackberry.

Thus, the IT guys tend not to be the kind of assholes who own a company Blackberry. But they know how to fix the one belonging to their boss, who was already an asshole before he landed the company Blackberry, I'm guessing.

Not that the boss knows how to use it. That's why he sent the IT guy to certification school.

And not that I want to delve too deeply into my professional history, mind you.

Also, I love how the flickr photo above is entitled, "How not to meet girlz."

Sandy Underpants has the absolute final word on the Palin Pregnancy.

"...how dare you ask questions about Bristol Palin's pregnancy(ies) when John McCain is a former POW. for 5 1/2 years he had no teenage girls to fuck. and no kitchen table to fuck them on."

Leave Sandy your love over here.

I'd do a caption that photo, but there just aren't words....

h/t Loretta.

Monday, September 1

Fuckity fuck fuck

I forgot my own Salon tonight. It's the GOP's fault, if the convention had gone on as planned....

Blue Gal's very late salon hosted by blue.gal.

Join now

Chat about what's on your mind. More about public chats.

This is not a post about Sarah Palin's new grandbaby.

A great many young people in our country become pregnant or worse, contract a sexually transmitted disease, every day. I have nothing to say in judgment about the young Palin and her unfortunate situation.

I have a great deal to say, however, about the Republican Party and its POLICIES regarding sex education, reproductive choice, HIV prevention, and let's not forget their complete hypocrisy regarding homosexuality and civil rights. Sarah Palin's stands on these ISSUES are contrary to feminism, the health of our young people, and everyday common sense.

Is it a surprise to anyone that Sarah Palin is an advocate of abstinence-only programs, and opposed sex education in Alaska's schools?

Again, this is not about Sarah Palin's daughter.

It is about a government that has failed to make responsible decisions regarding public health policy, and the completely irresponsible positions the Republican Party takes on those issues.

Sarah Palin should be ashamed, because she is a Republican.

And I still think there's lots of evidence that Twig is Bristol's child, and that Bristol's mother, a candidate for national office, is lying about the term of this current pregnancy as well as the details of the previous one. Lying. Lying. Lying.

File under huh?

NYTimes? Hello? I'm decidedly pro-gay marriage, and I like it that you celebrate same sex unions in your wedding pages, but I, ahem, don't think these guys are gay.

In case you don't believe me the article is here. (Thanks for the tip Media Stupor.)

From a comment I left elsewhere which may or may not be moderated.

I had to leave this at another woman's blog. I can't link to her because I don't know if she's going to post the comment or not. Every woman humorist has a hard enough time of it without some anonymous coward lecturing her.

Dear Anon at 2:21 pm:

If one more anonymous non-blogger lectures a satirist on how it's their job to elevate the debate and defeat John McCain with their feminist gravitas, I'm going to puke.

Get your own fucking blog, link to yourself in comments, and show us all how it's done. We'll read you once and then ignore you, but at least we won't think of you as a lecturing harpy with more talk than walk.

Update: She ran it. Update 2: OMG Chez is a guy. My statement stands unedited.

Do I seem stressed to you? Maybe I'll just go do some yoga.

Happy Labor Day

So I'm talking with Junior Dude (age 9...AND A HALF and don't you forget the half) in the car and notice another WalMart in town and for a moment I...forget myself (yeah).

Me: Oh wow, I can't believe there's three WalMart's in this goddamn town.

Junior: Mom! This is a great town! It's that there's three goddamn WalMarts here.

Say what you want about my mothering skills, but I did raise them.

And speaking of that the children are home today, natch, so video blog probably delayed a day or so. Salon tonight, though.