Thursday, May 18

Guest Blogger - Omnipotent Poobah

pope
And he designs panties, too, girls...


Our guest blogger today is the one and only Omnipotent Poobah of The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks! You may think from the title and picture that O.P. has a few ego issues. Nothing could be further from the truth. He has no false pride. Indeed, I have been trying for weeks to get him change the name of his blog to "The Omniscient, Omnipotent Poobah Speaks, but he says that spells oops which reminds him of the people scraping those W stickers off their SUVs. No one needs to be reminded of them, they're everywhere. Poobah's post is dear to Blue Gal's heart. - BG


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Let's face it, Blue Gal has a serious panties thing going on. She claims it's for search purposes, but I suspect otherwise. When she asked us to take this guesting gig she even reserved the right to paste in some panties. Yup, that girl does like her panties, not that there's anything wrong with that you understand.

I thought long and hard about what to write today and, of course, panties came to mind. Funny, that happens a lot. More than you might imagine. Oh Crikies, I can't get 'em off my mind!

I looked at all Blue Gal's previous posts and have to admit I was intimidated to take her on in a subject for which she has so much expertise, but I do like a challenge, so here goes:

Panties I'd Design If I Was a Panty Designer
  • Honorable Cloth Republican Panties - Imagine pair a of baggy, granny panties with no lace - the better to tempt the conservative wearer. Designed two sizes too large, that have an elephant's nose affixed to the crotchal area. Designed for either the discerning woman or man - we need to appeal to those crossdressing Republicans you know - wearers can only one way (see definition #4), to the right.
  • Jenna Bush Autograph Model Panties - Since the First Daughter seems to have a penchant for drunkenly falling ass-over-teakettle (oddly enough right in front of photographers every time...hmmm), we designed these invisible fabric panties to offer an unrestricted view of the First Cootchie. This way, each tumble will bring at least 10 percentage points to Daddy's sagging poll numbers, giving new meaning to the term "Pimp Daddy".
  • Duke Cunningham Panties - A gen-u-ine war hero needs a gen-u-ine pair of panties. These Dandy Dukes are reversible. One side shows off the stars and stripes in honor of Duke's patriotic contributions as a certified war hero and Congressman. Turn them inside out and they're black and white stripes, perfect for that casual and stylish walk around the cellblock with your new honey Spike. Bar of soap sold separately.
  • Turd Blossom Specials - If Karl Rove loves one thing, other than smearing others, it's eating. Designed in anticipation of his eventual indictment, these edible panties provide more than 400 calories of quick energy and 16 vitamins and minerals per pair. They're functional, stylish, and perfect for the "husky" fugitive from the law who needs his strength for that long trip to Rio. Available in $1000 per plate beef or chicken flavors.
  • Blue Gal Panties - Made from the finest English lace, these are the panties for the female blogger on the go. Road tested tough, yet soft enough for an angel, these sapphire encrusted beauties come with a small pouch that's perfect for inserting a card with a witty saying or some pithy repartee. Sorry, only available in blue and Blue States. Hanging chads optional.
Blue Gal, thanks for honoring me with this little gig. You have my omnipotent best wishes and I hope the vacation is going swimmingly. Hey, if this gig takes off maybe I can start designing bathing suits too...

11 comments:

  1. Ahhh, Omnipotent One, let me be th'first t'say that ye know yer panties! That, an' I be anxious t'see if when BG gets back whether she be wearin' yer fine design or th'inflatable ones!

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  2. With a red maple leaf?

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  3. Jesus christ in a thong..that was magnificent o wise one.

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  4. How about NSA Under-Spy Ware, with special telemetric sensors to report to gov't (or James Dobson, perhaps) your arrousal state at any given moment?

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  5. What about Invisible Weapons of Mass Destruction panties?

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  6. Might I be suggestin' just a red maple leaf?

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  7. Will you take my order for a pair of Duke Cunninghams in XS?

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  8. Cap'n,
    Maybe the edible ones?

    Quakerdave,
    She went to Canada and all she got was that shitty pair of panties.

    Dusty,
    Me in a thong is not a pretty sight.

    Doug,
    Great idea. I'll have my people call your people and...ah, never mind. They're probablyu listing in already.

    Comrade,
    Hey, they're da bomb.

    Cap'n,
    Quaker Dave beat you to it, but we'll cut you in for a part of the royalties.

    El,
    You sure you want the Dukester that close to your skin. He's pretty abbrasive.

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  9. Omnipotent One, I meant not red maple leaf panties. Just a red maple leaf, period. ;)

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  10. Cap'n,
    It would be kinda crunchy in the fall wouldn't it?

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  11. "to offer an unrestricted view of the First Cootchie."

    Hahahaha! I love it. Wow... who thought panty design could be so politically entertaining?!?

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