Wednesday, June 7

Can't believe this one got by Pat Buchanan...

Pat Buchanan, who thinks everybody has forgotten that he used to work for Nixon (think again), says on national television that we really ought to be worried that the US Southwest will secede from the Union after it is taken over by Mexicans.

He is overlooking one aspect of American life that has already been taken over. Dora the Explorer is definitely a plot brought on by those who support the Mexification of America:

Sure, she looks friendly, but...***

Pat, have you seen this show?

1. She's Hispanic, and we all know what that means.

2. Half the time she refuses to speak English.

3. Her theme song is clearly a reference to trafficking in illegal immigrants:

Grab your backpack
Lets Go! (north)
Jump In! (my flatbed with the false bottom)
Vamonos! (see, there's that Spanish again)

4. She is assisted by "The Map" and "The Backpack," get it?

If there's a place you got to go (America)
I'm the one you need to know (your secret transporter)
I'm the Map
If there's a place you got to get (illegally)
I can get you there I bet (your life)
I'm the Map.

5. She has one nemesis, Swiper, clearly an INS agent. The whole aim in avoiding Swiper is to see him first and yell, "Swiper, no swiping!"...a code to tell your cargo to hide.

This is bigger than the whole Spongebob is gay thing, doncha think?

***Fair use of the Dora image. I have three kids, Nickelodeon has too much of my money, and they can bite me.


  1. Blue Gal knows that I'm a student of history.

    As such, I can't remember any instance of so-called assimilation between any ethnic group who arrived on these shores. Polish were suspicious of Irish. Italians were suspicious of Irish. Germans were feared and demonized during WWI and WWII.

    WASPs were suspicious of everyone who wasn't a WASP.

    This was as recently as 80-100 years ago. It's just been in the last few decades that ethnic identity among so-called Caucasians hasn't really mattered.

    Who's to say that the same thing won't happen with Hispanics in a few decades from now? It's not so much assimilation as it is homostasis.

  2. I thought it was the Tinkie Winkie gay thing. Did I miss another issue of Asshat's Monthly?

  3. oh my f-ing god. I forgot the tinky winky gay thing. That's because I left my tinky winky keychain (gets me into all the cool clubs) back in Birmingham. Thanks, Poobah honey.

    Kevin you are historically dead on as usual. kiss on your sweet parts, and don't take that the wrong way.

  4. You nailed it right on the head. Dora is a plot to brainwash us all into accepting the Mexicans that cross over. If we start to associate the unwashed masses with this cute animated character, all will be lost. Defeat Dora! Defeat Dora! Defeat Dora!

  5. "If we start to associate the unwashed masses with this cute animated character, all will be lost. Defeat Dora! Defeat Dora! Defeat Dora!" Which is precisely why gay men and women are popping ouot of the closets! Tinky winky and Barney and any number of muppets and such that Jerry Falwell has proclaimed as gay are so damned cute that it must be inspiring droves of people to declare their gayness! Oh! My! Have the neocons not learned anything from their miscues...?
    They denounce something as bad, or evil, or gay or all the above and the next thing you know Wal-Mart is packed and all the car windows in the parking lot are steamed up! :>)

  6. They're definitely taking over the President. Right this minute he's at the Hispanic National Prayer Breakfast!!

  7. geez, my grandaughter's chinese and she loves dora! should i be e-mailing pat for some sort of "intervention??!!" HEAVY sarcasm!

  8. My god, and I thought the only thing wrong with Dora was that she has an annoying voice. Clearly I haven't been paying attention. Thank god for the religious right to set me straight.


  9. They're definitely taking over the President. Right this minute he's at the Hispanic National Prayer Breakfast!!

    Songbird sees what's going on. Bushie-boy talks about the importance of learning English, but when he talks about those evildoers like Dora (
    I can get you there I bet (your life)) he does so in two languages: Spanish (cuy-O-tays), and Cracker (KYE-otes), but he suspiciously leaves out English (kye-O-tees) altogether.

    And did you see that bit on the news yesterday? He was quizzing some Hispanic students learning how to me Murcan about how many father-son pairs have been president. After mentioning himself and Poppy, he referred to the two Adamses: Juan and Juan Q.

    He's clearly one of them.

  10. Anonymous1:47 PM

    One musn't be forgettin' that she's a gutsy lil' outdoorsy resourceful girl with short hair who takes charge when chargin' is needed. It be definately a lesbian Hispanic plot! Damned Dykes!

  11. You nailed it. Dora's song is obviously the Hispanic version of the slaves' map to freedom, "Follow the Drinkin' Gourd." Thank God our God-fearing GOP is concentrating on cutting CPB funding (unfortunately, folks, it ain't no stinkin' urban legend this year: there was a wire service story today to the effect that cutting CPB funding is critical to controlling the deficit. Unfortunately for that argument, their entire budget is a rounding error in Iraq spending) instead of some of those side issues such as Iraq or energy supply....

  12. I don’t concentrate on the immigration issue, and I don’t understand how it, NAFTA, the North American Community, The Council on Foreign Relations, a “One World Order”, the rebirth of Communism, the destruction of Capitalism, a revolution to bring down the USA, "reconquista", and no telling what else, are all related, but I have read enough to feel that somehow they may be. I don’t mean reading just what pundits say. I mean material put out by groups and organizations involved, embassies, statements of national leaders, etc.
    So, I wouldn’t completely discount, or even take lightly what Buchanan is reported to have said.
    Still, my greatest concern over the lack of control over our borders is the possibility of terrorists just walking in and creating another 9/11.

  13. Oklahoma City - White American Male
    Columbine - White American Male

    Terrorists do not have to cross our borders. There are plenty here already, Don.

  14. BG, you have a point. But just because we have some home grown crazies is no reason to let a fanatic intent on killing as many of us “infidels” as possible in order to secure their place in paradise to just walk in with perhaps a suitcase dirty bomb, don’t you think?

  15. Mexification is not a problem due to brown-skin or any Hispanic cultural attributes, the problem is completely economic. The US just doesn't have the Industrial Capacity to welcome a whole nation of people into its borders in the space of 10 years. The influx of Germans, Swedes, Irish, Polish, et. al. did not constitute a projection of 103 MILLION new mouths back in the day. Neither were there 300 million Americans at the turn of the century. Basically, we are going to suffer a massive econo-shock that may be very difficult to recover. But hey, then this country would officially suck and no-one would want to move here! HAHAHA! It is also unwise to say Walter Wonderbread had it coming. That is not taking care of any inequalities or oppressions, but rather turning the tables and maintaining the problem. Liberals, with ever the bleeding heart, should want to solve the problem of inequality, not get revenge. As posted above, Wally W. is still in control even in the Banana Republics and before it is no longer a lucrative option, he will make damn sure all power is diverted back to him.

    Solution: Americans need to move to Mexico. Seriously. Take your big-fat Baby-boomin' parents' trust-funds and inheritances and buy LOTS of cheap land. Hire a security force at a buck and a quarter an hour and fight off the hordes of Politicos who will try to drive you off( Oh, and they will!). After a while, it's all Margaritas and Baja beaches baby.


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