For loads of fun this Sunday, look in the mirror and say the following quotes with a straight face. Click on the numbers for background, if you dare...
1. "I'm a fourteen year old girl. I blog about my cat."
2. "As a former Washington intern- yes, THAT kind of intern- I have often been accused of dating more than my share of men. So I'm writing a novel about my exploits, a Roman à Clef chronicling the sex lives and egos of the ubiquitous young political hacks (and those of us who love them!)"
3. "I believe Saddam Hussein's WMDs are now in the hands of Hezbollah."
Number 2 is Margaret Atwood, right?
ReplyDelete1) I'm an old dog, I blog about my dog
ReplyDelete2) We should have more women in Washington, then maybe I could get a well paid job as a male intern, just for 'looking cute'
3) The WMD Weapons of Mass Destruction are where they've always been - destroying Lebanon, aimed at Iraq & Syria, and in the Gulf aimed squarely at Iran.
Jordan? nah, they are a walk over
Oh! and did I forget the non-trivial number of intercontinental missile silos in the US & Russia, still carefully aimed at each other.
What the Quasar said...
ReplyDeleteI said, "I'm a fourteen year old girl. I blog about my cat." thirty times while looking into a mirror without cracking up, but now I have the urge to go out and buy panties with pictures of cats on them and I want to buy coloring books and Britney Spears CDs and rent all the Olsen Twins movies! For God's sake I need help! ...NO! I don't need help picking out the panties, and movies and CDs and coloring books, I need psychiatric help!
ReplyDeleteNo, actually, the average blog is kept by a 14 year old girl who writes about:
ReplyDelete1. how much she hates her mother
2. clandestine drinking and smoking
3. girls who dress like hoes
4. the cute boy in math class
5. how much she thinks feet are gross
6. how much she loves boys even though they are gross
7. random musical lyrics that talk about alienation and feelings of isolation
8. and her cat
I know this because once I was a 14 year old girl. *flutters eyelashes*
There is nothing more sleezy than the misleading rhetorical question as a headline. "Are Saddam Hussein's WMDs Now in Hezbollah's Hands?" Give me a break.
ReplyDeleteThe best parody of this kind of headline I ever saw was right after that TWA plane exploded:
"Did the muppets blow up flight 800?
Well, no, but wouldn't it be weird if they did?"
Oh. My. God. Beckaaaay.
ReplyDelete1. "i'm meeting all of my deadlines at work and not wasting any time at all."
ReplyDelete2. "i'm a 14 year-old boy and i blog about Condi Rice's cat."
I want to know more about intern sex. Especially when both chicks are hot.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the link (it still counts). The sidebar you quoted introduces a fictional character and was written to attract a certain demographic, ie, people who want to read about sexy interns. Interns are hot right now. But if you had taken the time to actually read my blog, you might find I have some interesting things to say.
ReplyDeletePagan don't take it personally, and yes, the linky does "count". Good luck on the book deal. Really.
ReplyDelete