My friend Chap posted this as a comment over at HuffPo and said I could republish it here, for which I'm grateful. - BG
I have a few questions for Orrin Hatch and those other morons concerning their bill "protecting" our flag:
If I have a flag made of metal and it is thoroughly indestructible, can
I squirt gas on it and burn it, or does the flag have to be destroyed?
What if I burn a 48 star flag--are we only outlawing the official one?
Could I add a star and burn it so that it is a flag that has never been
a US flag? Or would the addition of the star be a desecration?
I always heard that if a flag touches the ground you were supposed to
burn it--out of respect. Can I respectfully burn a flag?
What if I were to get footage of a flag being burned and projected it
onto a building? In other words, do I have to be the destroyer or is the
Can I throw away an old flag? How can I be sure that it won't be
incinerated? For that matter--is it worse to let it rot in a landfill?
It could get coffee grounds all over it.
If I use a flag as a diaper, would that be a problem? And if so, what if I made a fourth of July flag cake, slice it, eat it
and shit it with all my friends? It can't hold feces but it can become feces?
Can I still burn a copy of the Constitution? Could I burn just the First
Amendment? Or are Gonzales and Scalia handling that for me?