The other day, I posted this video over at The Aristocrats. You may have seen it, it's pretty viral at YouTube, it's funny and the audio is nsfw:
So I'm reading a certain Graduate School Alumni Magazine and there's this terrific picture in it of the late Edward Gorey (the cartoonist who drew the opening for PBS's "Mystery!")
Add a couple of visiting grandchildren, a laptop, and a yarn room, and that is my house during my emeritus years. Old comfortable furniture, books, books, a few more books, some newspapers lying around, I'm set.
So if I had the video equipment and the time, I'd do a video response to "Let's get some shoes."
I'm gonna get what I want.
Let's get some books.
Let's get some books.
This book is a hundred and fifty dollars.
This book is sixty-one dollars.
These books are two hundred and twenty fucking dollars.
Let's get 'em.
"I think you've got too many books." Shut up.
"I think you've got too many books." Shut up.
"Okay, I think you've got one too many books by Margaret Fucking Atwood." SHUT UP! Stupid boy.
(Saleslady): Um, these books are kinda thick. I really don't think you're, like, ever gonna like, read all this Anthony Trollope, I mean, your life is kinda busy.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. And by the way, betch? FUCK YOU!
Hey, I learned something. I like Edward Gorey but never knew he did any animated work.
ReplyDeleteCor, I love it when ye get all mouthy an' commandin'...
ReplyDeleteI liked the adaptation even better than the original.
ReplyDeleteMy husband: Okay, I think you've got one too many books by Stephen King.
(Yeah, I just torched "Cell" on a plane ride.) Stupid boy. I usually run more highbrow, but a girl's gotta cut loose sometimes.
Thank you for showing me how to spell "betch". I'm out of the country and a number of cultural references.
Memo to self: arrange to be "busy" the next time Blue asks you to go book shopping
ReplyDeleteThe cats look well-fed, well-groomed, and well-loved. That's all I need to know about Gorey; I'll consider him ok.
ReplyDelete(Paradise: where you don't need a blanket and all you ever hear is purring.)
Awesome post, BlueGal. When I was watching the video, I was thinking: "This makes no sense. Why am I watching this nonsense?" Then, I read the rest of the post and realized that you had indeed tied everything together. You ought to get an award for that alone.
ReplyDeleteFor me, you'd need to replace "shoes" with "voodoo dolls":
I'm gonna get what I want.
Let's get some voodoo dolls.
Let's get some voodoo dolls.
This voodoo doll is five chicken feet.
This voodoo doll is a snake skin and a scorpion claw.
These voodoo dolls are a mongoose eye, half a chicken McNugget, and a fuckin' rabbit's foot.
Let's get 'em.
"I think you've got too many voodoo dolls." Shut up.
"I think you've got too many voodoo dolls." Shut up.
"Okay, I think you've got one too many voodoo dolls of George W. Bush." SHUT UP! Stupid boy.
(Witch Doctor): Deez voodoo dolls be mighty powerful. You not gonna be doin' no hexin' wit deez, dearie.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. And by the way, betch? FUCK YOU!
Just kidding, by the way. I don't really have any voodoo dolls...
or do I?
Wow! Great post. Edward Gorey and Marg Attwood in the same post!
ReplyDeleteI know Margaret Attwood very well, but until today, I never knew her middle name. :)
You do rock, Blue Gal.
In the publishers' defense, "The Virago Book of War Poetry by Women" is probably targeted to a really small niche market, so prices go up.
ReplyDeleteThis is a capitalist society you know...DON'T HIT ME! DON'T HIT ME!
Poobah, that book in particular is a real insider joke. You hadda be there in the feminist literature world in the 80's to know Virago. They sought to "recover" women's writing by publishing out of print novels, mostly from the 20's-40's. Some of it was good and some sucked. Really sucked. Publishing women's stuff because it's women's stuff, (radical lesbian agenda! Helloooo!) of course they went outta business. But someone with my background would go "oh GOD! Virago war poetry! Jesu Christi!"
ReplyDeleteNot just the small niche market. Outta print. And the radical lesbian agenda-ists (helloooo!) would not be givin' up their treasured copies.
Don't be talkin' trash about Jane Austen around here, Organic. Just sayin'. Your wife will hafta smack for me, too.
seriously. THIS POST is exactly why i read your blog EVERY DAY. i learn something, i laugh a LOT. THANK YOU.
ReplyDeleteAh, gods - you've reminded me of my one great regret! Not purchasing perhaps the most perfectly elitist item I've ever seen on sale (and me ALL OVER):
ReplyDeleteIt was the stage-manager's cut outs for the theatrical performance of Dracula, as drawn by Edward Gorey.
It was beautiful, and goth, and eighty bucks. I should have sold one of my motorcycles...
I'm gonna get what I want.
ReplyDeleteLet's get some tiki mugs.
Let's get some tiki mugs.
This tiki mug is twenty-six dollars.
This tiki mug is forty-five dollars.
This original Tiki Bob tiki mug on ebay is up to two hundred and fifty fucking dollars.
Let's get 'em.
"I think you've got too many tiki mugs." Shut up.
"I think you've got too many tiki mugs." Shut up.
"Okay, I think you've got just about the entire Tiki Farm catalog."
SHUT UP! Stupid boy.
(Friend) Um, these tiki mugs are pretty huge. I really don't think you, like, need another scorpion bowl, do you? And this one is like a vase, you don't have that much room on your shelf anymore.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. And by the way, betch? FUCK YOU!
(Well, you took books already! :D )