Merry Christmas and suggested reading

Merry Christmas. Blue Gal is in the Pacific Northwest enjoying rain and clouds and weather so warm the daisies are in bloom.

Make sure you read GQ's interview with Jimmy Carter. He can't stay silent and neither can we.

There isn't enough insulin in the world...

...to cover the don't sugarcoat its from this weekend. Man, are you guys ticked off. And right before Jesus' birthday, too.

Agitprop has the "Dear Leader Death Watch."

Bring it on asks a sweet question...

And One Good Move does not mince words, and shows Cafferty, who never has, as far as I know. (Screw you, Wolf Blitzer)

Jurassic gives our President a really special award.

Finally, Susie at Suburban Guerrilla lets us all know what time it is.

And if you forget what time it is, here is a reminder from Ironic Times: Set your clocks back to 1984.

Blue Gal will be travelling this week and blogging sporadically. I'll miss you. From my Christmas Letter:

One of the nicest blessings of this year is the friends I have made as a result [of blogging]. It turns out the blogosphere is not a vast impersonal blob; smart, funny, warmhearted people are writing wonderfully online.

Ending with a thought on that "War on Christmas": saying "happy holidays" is not anti-Christmas. Celebrating one big stressed-out greed festival without thinking about Jesus even a little bit, is. Merry Christmas. May yours be happy, calm, and bright.

And a Happy New Year. xoxoxo

Button Button who's got her Button?

By request: I'm so flattered I can't think clearly. Oh, that, and I made 41 cupcakes for the middle child's class party.

And I don't think Blogger even allows bandwidth theft, anyhoo these link back to flickr currently.

Like I have time for this...

Men women love to love often turn into men who do things that piss us off. Douglas, I just became buddies with you today. It's way too early in our "relationship" for a meme. Sigh. (And grin.)

Seven Things To Do Before I Die:

1. Kids through college.
2. Walk around my clean house wondering how the kids (now 7, 3, and 1) grew up so fast.
3. A week at the Four Seasons, Boston
4. (tearing a page from Douglas) Win the lottery and send all of y'all up to Boston with me for a first class blogger party.
5. Actually exercise every once in a while. (see number 2 for my excuse)
6. Four words: Knitting. Cruise. Greece. Alone. (or with Akabini, Dena, and AL)
7. Scott Simon or Al Franken interview me about Blue Gal and I make them laugh.

Seven Things I Cannot Do:

1. Botox. Ever. I earned this face, get it?
2. Knit all the yarn in my stash.
3. Spend less time blogging (apparently).
4. Declutter my house (also apparently).
5. Respect George W. Bush or anyone with a W sticker. (again from Douglas)
6. Say "bless yer heart" as an insult. Southerners have a way with that.
7. Forget my friends, living or dead. I don't know what I do to deserve you. Yeah, even you, Douglas.

Seven Things That Attract Me To My Spouse (or Significant Other, Best Friend, etc.)

1. His intelligence.
2. He gets the job done. A wonderful writer.
3. Smart enough to listen to me.
4. Understands me most of the time.
5. Endures my moods. (but that is so mutual it's hard to credit him)
6. Is the jealous type, but tries to hide it. I like that.
7. Loves the kids as much as I do.

Seven Things I Say (or Write) Most Often:

1. Panties, panties, panties. (while blogging)
2. Do you have poop? Are you poopie?
3. Sleep. I'm going to sleep now.
4. No.
5. Yes, I did kiss you goodnight.
6. Sigh, I should be knitting (while blogging.)
7. You ARE poopie!

Seven Books (or Series) I love: (hopefully authors count)

1. Jane Austen
2. Elizabeth Berg before she was discovered by Oprah
3. Wiggles videos
4. Douglas Adams
5. Captain Underpants
6. Margaret Atwood. I won't commit suicide as long as she might write another book.
7. the original Poldark.

Seven Movies I Would Watch Over and Over Again:

1. Pimpernel Smith, a wonderful Leslie Howard WWII propaganda yarn.
2. Truly, Madly, Deeply. (but it bumped Brief Encounter off the list)
3. Tammy and the Batchelor, 'cause it's a big dumb movie.
4. Sound of Music and Pillow Talk, again with the big dumb movies (tie).
5. Meet John Doe
6. The Apartment. The heroine is named Fran and it's wonderful.
7. The latest Pride and Prejudice. I really, really loved it.


Seven People I Want To Join In (Be Tagged)

Primarily because I'd love to know more about them. So I hope I'm not pissing them off:

1. AL, admit it, you'd be mad if I left you out. You tag Karen, okay?
2. Abby
3. Yoga (panties, panties, panties)
4. Hey Jenny Slater
5. Blogenfreude
6. Sp3yyclad
7. And he won't be able to answer seriously, but go ahead, Michael Gregory Steele. We'd love to hear all about it.

And doesn't he just look better and better every day?

stolen from Hey Jenny Slater:

Bill Clinton -- in what he did as the chief executive of the country, if not necessarily as a human being -- was a pretty good president. Or, barring that, a total badass.


Bill Clinton: the man, the president,
the straight-up pimp (and I mean that in a good way).

Too bad Chairman of the DNC would be a step down.

Got yer ears on, Rummy? Art day at Blue Gal.

she's smiling 'cause sp3ccylad's on her ipod

I hope to God one of Dubya's spies is reading this. Welcome fascist weblog trackers! Does the hot water yer in feel good to ya? Just wait 'til the afterlife, Jimbo!

Kay, now that that's outta the way, today is art and chaos day again at Blue Gal. Blue Gal sprung from the loins of artistes (sorry for the visual) so every once in a while we just need to look at some art. And art without a sense of humor, or as Momma says, at least "a giggle in the middle of a nightmare" (Blue Gal all over) is not art.

First up, Mark Mothersbaugh. Some readers may know him as the musical talent for Rugrats and the films of Wes Anderson. Others may remember him from Devo. I remember him when my dad was his printmaking professor at Kent State in the '70s and he was weird and talented and cute in that "intelligence is an aphrodisiac" kinda way but arty/funky. What is nice to hear is that he is keeping his pinky finger in the visual art world. Click the link and see a show if you are close by. And if you get to see Mark, tell him he owes my dad five bucks in 1972 dollars.

Second, those of you who are knitters of course know Franklin Habit, but if you don't you are missing a wildly talented guy who has been a real inspiration to me. He lives the life of an artist (in the coolest of cities, Chicago) and brings that artistry to knitting of all things and I hope to live like him someday, uh, except for the gay man part.

While yer at it, check out the Museum of Depressionist Art. Still life with prozac? Hey, the story of my frickin' life.

And if your taste in art tends toward the aural (couldn't resist) sp3ccylad's got two new songs up. But I'll be spending this weekend knitting to all 36 of 'em, old and new.

Have a great weekend, and remember, shopping is never an "event".

OK, but he DID say this.

Yo, Kos-ters. Do ya believe the Washington Post? Huh? Do ya?

Yes, we'll be praising this over at I Love Tom Delay.

I still say impeach. Impeach.

Special offer to regular Blue Gal readers

I've had a really rough day. My printer does not want to print out my Christmas letter in any legible way. The official Christmas photo came back and it looks awful. So I'm attempting to make lemonade outta lemons here. In a way, this is wonderful, because it gives me a chance to send Christmas greetings to those whose snail mail I don't have and who matter so much to me. If you have this site bookmarked, you've read or commented, etc, you mean the world to me. Qwerty, Douglas, Alicia, Comrade, Gregoire, Yoga, Evil Twin, Dena, Akabini, I know I'm leaving people out. All of you have been the absolute best part of this year for me. Thank you.

Terrorism and response.

Yoga Korunta asked:

what do you think should be done to address the violence of radical Islam?


In my extremely humble opinion, the violence of radical Islam, or any terrorism, needs police action, not army action. And the sad part is, the experts in how to do that are the British, but Tony Blair decided to wipe W's butt rather than point out the possible alternatives to a "War on Terror."

I hate to sound like a wacko conspiracy theorist, but my take on why Iraq is that W had a grudge over Saddam wanting to kill his daddy, and allowed Cheney and the Saudis to convince him to go to war.

I also pause when I think of the arguments of Mister ACLU and the Agitator, who wouldn't give any "police" solution the time of day. But at least if we treated terrorism as a lawlessness issue, rather than a war issue, we could fight any threat to civil liberties from that basis, rather than this "enemy combatants have no rights" crap.

It does seem to me that framing the fight on terror as a "war" has benefitted the fascists. Period.

Dena (goddess and genius) recommends Karen Armstrong's The Battle For God as a good lesson in the dangers of fundamentalism of any stripe...perhaps it takes the wind outta the sails of anyone who sees this as a "holy" war, too.

A comment on Daily Kos

Concerning all the hullabaloo over Bush and the Constitutional Piece of Paper (my post from Dec. 13) I wanted to say a public thank you to the Daily Kos'ers who corrected me with tact, decency, and a nod to simply getting the truth out. No flames, and no insincere politeness-police mumbo jumbo. Blue Gal can handle rude more easily than politeness police.

I loved what Kate R. said at another blog: "My first thought was only a bunch o' liberals would even care about reliability. Don't see OReilly giving a damn about that kind of detail."

I sometimes fear our downfall is our love of truth. Then I think of Jesus and Pilate.

Yesterday, my admiration of Daily Kos and its community increased. Thanks again.

Don't Sugarcoat It Award for December 14

chug a lug that artificial pancake syrup, boys

Today's Don't Sugarcoat It Award goes to Aloysha McBain, for his lovely post, A Righteous Christian Gulag. 'Course, it coulda gone to his comment on yesterday's post, too. Anyhoo, it's good to have another sweet unsugared reader on board.

As regular Blue Gal readers know, the Don't Sugarcoat It Award is looking for raw emotion, not necessarily obscenity. But somehow the first four sentences of this post spoke straight to Blue Gal's heart:

Fuck you, George W. Bush. Fuck you, Dick Cheney. Fuck you, Donald Rumsfeld. And fuck you, Condi Rice.

Isn't that special? But the rest of the post is an elegant, truly elegant, indictment of those four regarding the whole secret prison scandal. Well-written, insightful, and lacking any syrup. Good job, auto-da-fe.

We are gonna talk about what to really do about terrorism tomorrow. Tune in then.

That's it. Stop the Presses. IMPEACH.

Posted this story to Daily Kos and immediately got 8 or 9 comments asking me to delete my post because CapitolBlue is not a reliable source, fwiw. Standing by my own comments, though.

I thought that impeachment was an extremist position, that it would do more harm to the country than good. I've changed my mind. Impeach. Impeach.

Here's why. If this story is true, we are in the hands of a dangerous, dangerous fascist.

Update and...correction?

ACLU lawyer says this quote is probably apocryphal. It's too much like Hitler's comment on the Versailles Treaty. Blue Gal's hoax-o-meter tipped into the red zone when she thought that, perhaps, the article linked above was unsigned? Lemme check. Nope, it's signed, and the author stands behind what he says, and takes a nice swipe at his detractors, here.

I think what Kathy says below is true. If he did say it, his supporters will just go into spin mode and say what he meant was that the Constitution can't get in the way of the security of all Americans. 'Course, we know what Ben Franklin had to say about that.

And if Bill Clinton had been suspected of saying such a thing, as an alleged comment, which I still think this is, folks, alleged, you can bet Rush Limbaugh would spend 90 minutes repeating the alleged quote and getting his ditto-heads all riled up, Sean Hannity would ask every guest on his show if they agreed with Clinton's alleged smear on the Constitution, Ann Coulter would swish her hair and get all mad about the threat our own President makes to America etc. etc.

What this administration is doing at Gitmo is as much a smear on the Constitution as anything he might have said. And I'm with Abby: I want him not to have said it. We are not going to lose this war on the lying sacks of Republicans, folks.

By the way, I got the original story from Alicia. Sorry I didn't hat tip earlier, girlfriend. xoxo

Showing our age...

[In spite of the caveats of Abby (goddess) over at Falafel Sex I'm cross posting this at Daily Kos. Comments here are more likely to be read by Blue Gal her own self. Thanks.]




Back to the fascinating subject of old farts, Comrade Kevin asks some interesting questions:

Does maturity mean that you [have to] find tactful ways to be an activist?

Do I worry unnecessarily that growing older means you don't want to fight anymore...or rather you know how to pick your battles?

See, I think of middle aged people as having lost their will to fight when they see injustice...but maybe it's that they manage to do so in less bullheaded, stubborn ways.

And I see young people as having lost their will to fight because they don't have to. Something about that military draft brought out the radical in lots of people who otherwise might have gone over to The Man. For us older lefties, some of us simply want to keep our jobs. Added responsibilities like children and mortgages make you less likely to want to do things like, oh, get arrested. But I think the question goes deeper than that, and we should address here some generational issues blah blah blah. Oh gawd do I sound like an old fart.

AL! Help me out!

Please, you fellow old farts, how do you keep your activism fresh? comments, please...

Jesus Saves!!! and earns over six percent.

By now most of you know that Focus on the Family pulled their money outta Wells Fargo Bank because Wells Fargo gives money to gay rights organizations. How FOTF decided to bank at an institution headquartered in San Francisco and not figgered this out in the first place is a little puzzling.

But what you may not know is that Jesus H. Christ his own self has come out against Reverend Dobson and company. Took him long enough, but hey, Blue Gal understands. That's my Jesus! So proud to be a Christian!

Now it's time for Wells Fargo (there must be little puddles of piddle all over the marketing department floor from pure glee) to step up to the plate with their new advertising campaign:



Want to take a moment here to give points to our favorite ACLU lawyer, who told me this weekend that he has a "nice little position" in Wells Fargo Preferred. (Stock symbol: WPD)

"Can I blog about that?"


"Blogging is a waste of time. [pause] Why don't you blog that it pays over six percent? It pays over six percent. That's the PREFERRED, mind you. That's pretty good. HAR-umph." [back to the Sunday NYT business section].

Free stock tips from the other side of the king size. Just another Blue Gal service.

We also like Scott's idea for teaching evolution, history, etc. like evangelical preachers, to wit:

“Darwin published On the Origin of Species in 1859, and it sparked a nationwide debate about evolution and man’s place in the world! Can I get an AMEN?!!”

It's gonna be an interesting week here at Blue Gal. Comrade and Yoga have come up with some interesting questions. What is it with aging activists? and What should we do, really, about radical Islam and terrorism? Aw, what about wacko Christians? We'll talk about them some more too, and giggle all the way to the cross. God is Love, people. Watch this space.

RIP, Eugene McCarthy

I hope two good things come from his passing.

1. That there's some good media on the day when a politician showed moral courage against a war that was just plain wrong. (ahem)

2. That this will be an opportunity for us old fart lefty bloggers to come out of the woodwork and find each other. Thank you, Technorati.

[Watch this space. I'll do an edit soon to link to some old farts I find in the blogosphere. If you are a said old fart, which means you are at least old enough to remember Watergate Summer, if not earlier, please leave a comment. Thank you.]

Democracy Cell Project has a nice remembrance.

Brilliant at Breakfast is worth a read, too, as is W. David Stephenson.

Oh. My. God.

Alicia is the photoshop goddess.

Now it's George Will's turn to eat his heart out.

He's a frickin' hottie. Stolen from Moviespoilers.net

Blue Gal got let out this afternoon to go see Pride and Prejudice by herself. Good thing, too. Hubby's patience for that much chick flick would've faded in the first few minutes.

Blue Gal cried her eyes out the whole movie. And those of you who know Blue Gal personally know that's a good thing. Matthew MacFadyen's Darcy is just about the most tortured Heathcliff, er, I mean, Darcy, ever. And tortured men are almost as good as intellectual men, tortured intellectuals are of course the best (yeah, yeah, that includes YOU, Comrade.) except that they are impossible to live with, but I digress.

But my favorite scene didn't have Darcy in it at all. When Elizabeth goes into Dad's office to tell him she loves Darcy, Mr. Bennett (Donald Sutherland wonderful, wonderful, should be nominated) looks up at his daughter and realizes she has found true love, real love, this realization appears on his face and he weeps for her. It's not just fatherly love, it's humanity on display. It is so real. Shoulda brought a mop.

It's a luvley film. If you're a girl, or just think like one. The soundtrack is really nice too. If you "enter site" at the link above you'll get a listen.

Have a calm weekend without shopping. Even once. I mean it.

I Heart George F. Will

Just when Blue Gal thought she was too busy to blog, George F. Will plonked down this lovely diatribe against television, Congress, wasteful spending by Republicans, and he did it with a smart sense of humor. Boys like that get their way with me, no matter what side of the political bed they sleep on.

Fellow bloggers, are you attempting to keep up with Condi? Leave the heavy lifting to Princess Sparkle Pony. She does an excellent job.

Blue Gal's Blogroll Rollup Rolie Polie Olie

The CIA suspects that bin Laden is located somewhere in this area

From one of Blue Gal's new faves, Fried Green al-Qaedas. The Cheney speech for DeLay (Dec 6) is priceless, kids.

Badtux thinks our President may actually be a space alien and the argument totally makes sense. Go figure.

Wonkette points out that Ted Kennedy loves us lefty bloggers so much he has his staff read them for him. Oh my darling Senator Ted, Blue Gal loves you back, you fossil you!

I voted for Fafblog for best comedy blog here, though it looks like Jesus' General is gonna walk away with it.

An' it's time to debut this little project. Alicia, are you ready for some action?

There's been some changes to Blue Gal's blogroll, too. I've kicked off anybody who already has 250 plus subscribers. If your browser is pointed here, then you already have Crooks and Liars, Wonkette, and Daily Kos bookmarked, and they don't neeeeed meeeee.

Opiates are the religion of the masses.

When I go on rare occasions to the pharmacy, I sometimes wish the privacy acts could be waived for a minute, so I could know just what is going on with the large size grocery bags of pharmaceuticals lining the floor behind the cash register, waiting for pick up by whom? Diabetics? Aids patients?

I suspect it is neither. Just a large set of very good customers for Pizer, Merck, and the rest of them.

Devout Muslims pray at least five times a day. Devout Americans apparently medicate at least that often. This is to keep living? So we can...find out who wins American Idol? Oh, and watch pharmaceutical commercials?

Our ability to keep people alive has far outweighed our ability as a society to pay for such, and we are not weighing quality of life or value of life issues carefully enough, in my opinion.

Consider this my living will. If I need more than, say, three pills a day to keep me going, forget it. No drastic surgeries, life support, kidney dialysis, etc. And if you ask me my name and I can't give it to you, let me go. Hell, I'm not sure I wanna go on living if I can't cast on twenty and make a stockinette swatch, get what I'm saying? Knitting is life, and the rest is just...well, not necessarily worth living.

Some people are so sick and so medicated that the only time they get out is to get groceries, which is convenient because they can pick up their drugs at the in-store pharmacy. The local Winn-Dixie supermarket (oh Qwerty and Jurassic that is the name of a local grocery store chain here, in Chapter 11 btw) would not be in business at all were it not for the pharmacy. The two streets that intersect at that Winn Dixie have a pharmacy on EACH of the four corners. Walgreens, cross the street, Rite Aid, cross the street, Winn-Dixie (with a pharmacy), cross the street, Publix (with a pharmacy). One article I found pointed out that WalMart alone employs over 6,500 pharmacists.

And then we have the whole thang about pharmacists who will not fill plan B birth control prescriptions or, the latest outrage, herpes medications, because it goes against their personal religious/moral intentions. One thing you can say in favor of Christian Scientists, folks, is they do not become pharmacists. They understand hypocrisy. Fundys who have a problem with anything the FDA says is legal should stay out of the business. Period.

There's some scary stuff going on out there, folks.

Edit: On further consideration, there isn't anything funny in this post, and that's not why you come to Blue Gal. So anyhoo, Poundy has a good idea: if your pharmacist won't let you have birth control, take your brats in there and...drop 'em off!!!

And here, courtesy of Chickenhead:

It isn't chaos, it's ART.

This could be a whole big long post on intelligent design, chaos, art, life, etc. Fill in the blanks your own self.

And I swore this would never become a knitting blog, because when Blue Gal wants to make a knitting blog she will go out and do it but don't count on it because she is already too busy.

But I do love this little sweater. I love the thought of rolling a die to see what to knit next. I love that it's for a toddler, but if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna cast it on for meself 'cause that's the way life is right now.

And don't get me started on fibonacci sequencing and cables, which was the other sweater I was gonna cast on before I saw this one. Mensa. I know. Leave it to one of the scientists at Cambridge (natch) who came up with random knitting to say this:

The idea of random knitting arose out of contact with polymer theoreticians and a desire to create an unusual two-dimensional representation of a random network. The prospect of a meeting on polymers stimulated the production of the pullover shown here.

Yeah, right. But the result looks like this. Whoa:



UPDATE: received this email 2/7/06:

I'm happy that you like my pattern, and that you put my picture on your
website. But the picture is my copyright, and first of all you need my
permission to use it, which I give you on condition that you acknowledge
copyright, and give a reference to my website here.

Regards,

Mary Griffin

Posting that with gratitude.

'Course, Blue Gal came up with her own Mensa t-shirt idea:



But I digress. Today is a digressy day. Go digress and have a good one.

Have a holly potty Christmas...

"Elsewhere, major retailers cheered the early results of the holiday shopping season, announcing that sales of totally useless items surged fifty percent." - Andy Borowitz

There was some union guy on Marketplace Morning Report this morning, who pointed out that the number one New Year's Resolution last year was not losing weight, but getting out of debt. The poor disappearing middle class can't make ends meet...yet a great many of those in Birmingham could use the following advice:

Stop decorating your bathroom for Christmas.



Blue Gal just can't believe the market for Christmas themed toilet seat covers. This is such an easy target, but really, folks. Americans have too much money or too much credit or something when stores carry this stuff and put it on the shelves.

BTW that explains where Scott McClellan has been from Nov 9 to the 27th. Decorating the bathrooms. He considered it a seasonal promotion.

Alright, enough huffiness. Most of you probably read it anyway, but Fafblog for Wednesday is laugh out loud. To my dear readers, have a weekend as lovely as you.

Abortion stops a voting brain.

We've simply got to come to grips with this abortion issue. It is making good people vote stupid. The vast majority of Americans find abortion distasteful, troubling, and tragic and yet they do not want to overturn Roe. Extremely vocal minorities on both sides of the issue want to polarize us and make it seem there is no room for compromise. Planned Parenthood (and unfortunately the Democratic Party) equate any chink in the Roe armor as a disaster. Then this 20 year old Alito memo was released yesterday which makes them seem to be right.

Southern voters simply will not elect someone who is virulently pro-choice. That's it. (I know, Qwerty, I know.) So they vote stupid so they can go to bed at night knowing they didn't kill any babies today, except maybe in Iraq but that doesn't count. It also doesn't count that if those babies get born and grow up, those same anti-abortionist types will cross the street to avoid that kind of person (black, poor, raised in an unloving home, etc.).

Blue Gal thinks the Supreme Court is mindful of all this and of the revolution that would occur if Roe was completely overturned. Nina Totenberg of NPR said during the Roberts hearings that the worst thing that could happen to the Republican Party, with the exception of a military draft, would be the overturning of Roe. Middle of the road Americans (yep those who spend more time with Desperate Housewives than thinking about Roe v. Wade) would have to think about what ifs and their thirteen year old daughters. Not a pretty picture.

We also need to bite the bullet on contraception, as C. Everett Koop has so wisely pointed out. They pass it out on elephants in some countries. It's perfectly okay to wear your visible underwear to the office, e.g.:



which I got off the JC PENNEY website, not exactly Victoria's Secret, but it's not okay to show this on television:



When is America going to grow up? Figleaf has some smart things to say on this issue. So does Sideshow, who also gets points for her bra of the week feature. Very panty-esque.

Slow News Day? Give it to Snoop Dogg.

If you ever get bored, just head over to Gizoogle and enter any of the many pages from whitehouse.gov or James Dobson's message for the day, for translating into the lingo of Snoop Dogg. For instance, the official nomination of Samuel Alito to SCOTUS.


THE PRESIDENT:



Good morn'n ta help you tap dat ass. I'm pleazed ta announce mah nominizzle of Judge Samuel A . They call me tha black folks president. Alito, Jr., as Associate Justice of tha Supreme Court of tha United States . Listen to how a motherfucker flow shit. Judge Alito is one of tha most accomplished n respected judges in America, n his long carea in public service has given him an extraordinary breadth of experience like old skool shit.

Today, Judge Alito is joined by his wife, Martha, who was a law librarian wizzy he fizzirst met brotha n I B-to-tha-izzoth know you ciznan't go wrong marry'n a librarian cuz Im tha Double O G. Sam n Martha's two children, Phil n Laura, is also wit us, n I knizzow how proud you is of yo baby daddy today . They call me tha black folks president. Real niggas recognize the realness. And I know he's think'n `bout his late drug deala. They call me tha black folks president. Samuel Alito, Sr., came ta this country as an immigrant child fizzy Italy in 1914, n his fine family has realized tha bootylicious promise of our country.

He moved aggressively against white-cizzles n envirizzle crimes, n drizzay traffick'n, n organized crime, n violation of civil rights . Death row 187 4 life.

In his role, Sam Alito showed a passionate commitment ta tha rizzy of law, n he gained a reputizzles fo` being B-to-tha-izzoth tough n fair like this and like that and like this and uh. He understands T-H-to-tha-izzat judges is ta interpret tha laws, not ta impose they preferizzles or priorities on tha people . I started yo shit and I'll end yo' shit.

Judge, thanks fo` ridin' ta serve, n congratulizzles on yo nominizzle.

JUDGE ALITO:



Thank you, Mr . Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. President. I am deeply honored 'n shit ta be nominated ta serve on tha Supreme Court, n I am very grateful fo` tha confidence that you hizzy S-H-to-tha-izzown in me . Aint no stoppin' this shit nigga.


Oh, and before I forget. Patagonia wants your panties.

Happy Birthday, Jon Stewart, er, and Jesus, too.

God forbid I should sound like Bill O'Reilly. It's just that Christmas this year seems like one big greed festival for people who never think about Jesus even a little bit. I'm not suggesting huge public displays of phoney piety (as B.O'Re is), just less consumerism. Please.

At least one sector of the market has it's eye on the Savior: 46% of American SUV drivers think Jesus would drive one. Yeah. Hey, I'm a believing Christian, and that article scares the bejesus outta me.

Oh, but Jon Stewart knows the reason for the season. Thanks, and happy f-ing birthday yourself, doll baby. xoxoxoxo If you wish him a happy birthday here, let him know that shameless blogwhore Blue Gal sent ya.

What happened to the RED STATES?

Bushco's approval ratings by state. The more red, the more approving.



Isn't it special that Alabama is a looovely shade of lavender?

Prayer of repentance required of any reader who thought about moving to Canada twelve months ago.

And for a well-written take (probably stolen from WSJ, but honey, they can afford it) on the whole red state thang, read Daniel Henneger's article on Truman Capote's Dark Visitation. Truman would think that's writing, not just typing.

Meme-ries are made of this.

Sorry, folks, I hate this whole meme thing almost as much as I hate LOL, ROTFLMAO, etc. etc.

But I've never been so flattered as to be tagged by the great Falafel Sex. I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!

Oh wait, I may hafta go down on my knees to do this anyway. The meme goes like this:

1. Go into a Middle Eastern restaurant, and order a falafel to go.
2. Take it home, disrobe, and get into the shower with the falafel.
3. Do unspeakable things.
4. Email Bill O'Reilly and tell him about how his sexual tutelage changed your life. Tell him Falafel Sex sent you.
5. Tag five other people to do the same thing.

As I said to Abby (goddess), I'm afraid it's a little late to be telling Blue Gal about unspeakable things with the falafel. I had so much Catholic guilt over the hate post (and the fact that it was picked up by C&L, deities) that as atonement, well, let's just say it was one party where the panties stayed on, but that kinda made it interesting. LOL! TMI! Nevermind!

Oh, the tags are going to take some thought. (Aw no they won't)

1. My evil twin at Blog de la Resistance.
2. Akabini, you doll baby, take boy in that shower with ya and he owes me a growler.
3. Yep, Another Goddamned Blog (I owe you big time xoxoxo)
4. INTOUS, because why didn't Blue Gal blogroll you earlier, huh?
5. and a recent find, Busy Busy Busy.

Open [form] letter to my Congressman

I musta responded to one of those True Majority/John Kerry.com/Move On/Michael Moore please email your congressman thingys, because yesterday I received a form letter from my congressman, Spencer Bachus (R, Jesusistan). His entire, unedited letter is below in italics. I've added my response as I go:

Dear [insert name of constituent here]:

Thank you for sharing with me your concerns regarding the Administration's intentions in the War on Terror. I am glad to have this opportunity to respond.

You're welcome, though I never use the term "War on Terror" because what's going on in Iraq is, in my opinion, no such thing. "The occupation of a red herring" is more my style.

President Bush has reaffirmed his committment to integrity in the Administration.

Yeah, right. I notice Rove, Cheney, Rumsfeld and even Brownie are still on the payroll. Nice of you, Congressman, to cancel that fundraiser you were gonna have for Tom Delay after he was booked, however. Your "reaffirmation to integrity" is actually more believeable than the President's.

Shortly after being indicted, Lewis "Scooter" Libby resigned as Vice President Dick Cheney's chief of staff. It is important to note that the charges Mr. Libby was indicted on are not related to intelligence manipulation.

Kudos, Congressman, it takes guts to even bring this up. The average Alabama voter would buy this. I regret I neglected to tell you in my communication that I am a transplant most recently from Massachusetts. We Bay State transplants, unlike Alabama natives, are able to get our brains around the "outing a CIA operative because her husband is about to blow our cover on intelligence manipulation" as being "related to intelligence manipulation." Next time I'll give you a heads up on my IQ.

I do not believe President Bush manipulated intelligence to allege falsely a national security threat to the United States by Iraq.

Oh. Now I've got a heads up on your IQ.

The Administration has multiple rationales for going to war with Iraq which is why Congress overwhelmingly supported going to war.

Multiple rationales: Halliburton, Chevron, and the Saudi royal family. Congress and the American people they represent are a buncha suckers.

Members of the U.S. Armed Forces with the help of our allies have removed a dictator who gassed, murdered, and imprisoned his own people.

So the invasion of North Korea is scheduled for when?

The Iraqi people have had the opportunity to vote for the first time in decades for a representative government which has inspired other democratic initiatives throughout the Middle East.

Too bad this didn't happen in Broward County, Florida in 2000. And the Saudi royal family doesn't look too worried last I checked.

It is certainly better to fight the terrorists on their territory rather than here at home. We must realize how important it is for all U.S. citizens to stand behind our men and women in uniform as we continue to win this War on Terror.

Why the f**k have we not found Osama Bin Laden? Please, please, get with your leadership and come up with another answer. NO ONE buys the "win the war on terror" crap anymore. Over two thousand of our troops will never get the chance to fight terrorism here at home, ever. Support the troops? Bring. Them. Home.

Although we may disagree on this issue,

Yeah.

...I appreciate hearing from you.

So does STB/jb, who actually wrote and typed this letter. I'm the Republican congressional intern gravy train, baby.

Please do not hesitate to contact me in the future on this or any other issue important to you.

Hey, Spence, consider yerself invited to bookmark my blog.

Love,

Blue Gal
6th District, Alabama

Happy Thanksgiving, but...

I suppose the appropriate thing to post here would be a list of ten things I am most grateful for. But they would be the same ten things lots of people are grateful for, namely friends, children, a home, and other blessings of this life.

Instead, I'm gonna end this week with things that just make Blue Gal foam at the mouth.

1. Abu Gahrib. Tis EVIL we are fighting here, folks. We're on, nay, we have been BLESSED WITH a mission to destroy these lying, torturing, self-interested evildoers.

2. Bill O'Reilly and Pat Robertson. Nuff said.

3. Democrats that won't fight. Ya gonna fight "just a little" for what is right, or wait until the political timing is right to fight evil? Momma didn't raise her boys to be Republicans, but she didn't raise 'em ta be pussies, either! Go Murtha!!! And the rest of you Dems, fight, dammit!

4. Halliburton made over two million dollars today. Profit. They do every day. Even Sundays and holidays. And they're working for you! And the entire administration is working for them! Happy yet?

5. Most Americans spend more time thinking about who gets voted off the island than who is getting tortured on behalf of the United States of America. The producers at CNN think a good substitute for Larry King is Ryan Seacrest interviewing Nicole Richie. (That giant sucking sound is the evaporating brain cells of anyone unfortunate enough to have surfed by that intellectual black hole.) And then there's the blogosphere, abuzz with Madonna's new album. Really. Who gives a f**k.

It explains, however, how the turkey got to run the country.

Have a good week. I'll be back after the holiday.

Happy Birthday, Howard Dean

And many happy election returns in 2006/8.

Leave your own message here.

Not to get all moral on you...

Robertson threatens Dover PA. O'Reilly (terrorist sympathizer), threatens San Fran. Secret prisons torture in Iraq.

All of these are wrong. But some things are just plain wrong.

Wrong.
Wrong.
Wrong.

Love on ya, Queerty and Malcontent.

It's never to early to not shop for Christmas

A week from this Friday (November 25) is not only the "Busiest Shopping Day of the Year (tm)" it is also an opportunity to make a statement against consumerism, over-consumption, and greed: Buy Nothing Day.

I have three kids 7 and under. They will get a few gifts. But D. and I usually do not exchange gifts at Christmas. And I'm gonna resist all those emails from Amazon and Buy Blue this year.

The pre-Christmas season is a great time to declutter and give to those less fortunate. I use my totally politically correct paper grocery bags from the organic food market (gag) to load up the ol' minivan with stuff for the thrift store. But seriously, one grocery bag a week to the thrift mean fifty two sacks of junk outta here every year. (Salvation Army rather than a for-profit thrift, too. Read the fine print on where you are giving.) I read somewhere that a good closet cleaning technique is the one fifth rule: for every four things you keep, get rid of one. That's today's to-do list for Blue Gal.

Finally, check out Hey Jenny Slater's post, "Don't even come around here frontin' that A&F crap unless you want my Gap style to tax that ass." A very nice springboard to that whole Uber-crummie t-shirt fiasco. Abercrombie was always too pushing-it-over-the-top gay for Blue Gal, kinda like Bernard Law. But that's another post.

That's not funny, that's crude!

Nope, changed my mind. That's funny.

Thanks, Eric.

The unforeseen consequences ofIntelligent Design in the classroom

Good morning, class, welcome back to American History. As you know, your science teacher only has a few minutes in his science curriculum to go over the source and creation of the entire universe. This is as it should be, as there is so much to cover in science class: gravity, the human circulatory system, the orbit of the planets, you know, things that can be shown and proven, and that you as an educated person ought to know.

In American History class, things are a little different. As part of our propaganda unit, we are going to spend this entire week on Intelligent Design. We're going to look at both sides of the issue and I think by the end of the week you will have a really good idea just where this whole Intelligent Design thing is coming from and why it is a stupid idea Nobel scientists and other intelligent people, like your history teacher, feel strongly about this issue.

For a little background, class, we're going to listen this morning to this NPR story about the election of a new school board in Dover, Pennsylvania. Last week, Dover kicked out its entire school board, who wanted Intelligent Design taught in the science classroom, with a new school board which has promised to move Intelligent Design into an elective comparative religion class. I want you to pay particular attention to the words of Bernadette Reinking, who is one of the new school board members. Notice how sane she is. What is her religious background? Does she seem anti-Christian to you?

In the same story, we hear Reverend Pat Robertson talking. Is that him, or is it a Saturday Night Live parody? How can you tell? Does he seem anti-Christian to you?

Now let's look at a website which gives another definition to the design debate as it relates to Pat Robertson. What is this author's position? Is it reasonable? (Yes.) Does he seem Jewish to you? Funny, he kinda looks Jewish. Are Jews always this funny? (No. Spaceballs was written by a Jew, and was not funny.)

Now, class, let's go back to the main question we ask about every single issue we confront in American History:

What would Eleanor Roosevelt think of this?***

Eleanor Roosevelt believed in science and the Constitution of the United States of America. She was friends with Albert Einstein and other Nobel Laureate Jews. She would be against teaching Intelligent Design in the science classroom. Case closed.



***The worship of Eleanor Roosevelt was established as central to the Blue Gal Course of Study in American History in the Spring of 2005.

But hey, paganism was a close second...

Which religion is the right one for you?


You scored as Islam. Your beliefs are most similar to those of Islam. Do more research on Islam and possibly consider taking the shahadah and officially becoming a Muslim, if you aren't already.

Despite the actions of some - who go against the teachings of Islam - Islam is a religion of peace; the word "islam" means "peace through submission to God." "Muslim" means "one who submits to God." Islam is the third of the three Abrahamic faiths, and it shares much with Judaism and Christianity; its differences are the acceptance of Muhammad as the last and final prophet, and the oneness of God - in other words, that Jesus, though he was a revered prophet, was not in fact God, and only one God exists. Apparently the Taliban could not read (though their name means "students"), because the Qur'an states that men and women are equal as believers, and that all believers should be educated and seek knowledge. Modesty in dress and behavior is required in Islam for both men and women to preserve the values of society and move the emphasis from superificial appearance to intelligence, knowledge, and God.


This could also have something to do with Blue Gal hating freedom...see Fafblog.

An doncha just love it that this Egyptian guy got Judaism? (hat tip, Ballbright)

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com

Yer standard "fish without a bicycle" post

There's a really interesting conversation going on over at At My Knit's End over the Maureen Dowd article in last Sunday's NYT Sunday Magazine. Maureen essentially asks:

Why do young women wanna be 50's housewives again?

Why do men of any age want young women who wanna be housewives?

Isn't this just an awful backlash against all of the gender progress we were promised by Gloria Steinem and company?

Oh, and why can't I, an attractive and highly prominient NYT columnist, get a date? I'll pay my fair share. Oh, is that wrong?

Without screaming "biological imperative" at the top of her lungs, Blue Gal would like to point out the following:


This "feminism brought us into the workplace" is a buncha crap. Women went into the workplace in droves in the late '60's early '70's because real wages did not keep up with inflation. Feminism may have given some women a way to rationalize such, but mommy did it for the money, 'cause you can't keep up your standard of living on one salary anymore.

Young women today are a stupid as in any other generation. Blue Gal her own self was never so stupid with her head in the clouds as when she was 23 years old. Dreaming of being a housewife in Barbie's dream house and looking like Barbie/Jessica Simpson/a Maxim girl is just normal stupid dreaming on the part of females who have not grown up yet. It is not the End Of Feminism As We Knew It. Feminism as we knew it never existed, ladies. It was all in our heads. Get over it.

Now, to those girls who want the "Mrs." label and are dreaming of living the fifties dream model, a little wake up call. Blue Gal is only gonna mention a few facts 'cause otherwise this could take all day and she's got laundry to do. Imagine, if you will, that your dream comes true. It's the 50's again, and you are Happy Homemaker.

1. You do not have your own car. That's right. You get your husband's car on "market day" after you drive him to work. One day per week. And while the car is made of solid steel and gets just about the same mileage as today's Hummer, it's got something called a "clutch" which makes it much more difficult to park. Don't worry, you only have it one day a week. The other four days you are at home and car-less.

2. At home, you do not have cable, the internet, a cell phone, a cordless phone, or a microwave. You may have one credit card, but it has your husband's name on it. There is no Target, no Gap, no Old Navy. Catalog shopping? It's called Sears and Roebuck, baby. You are not without things to do, though, because you spend so much of your day ironing.

3. You do not know who got voted off the island, what Homer Simpson is up to, or which desperate housewife will get laid this week. You own exactly one Black and white TV with three channels. The shows go off at 11 pm and show a test image until 6:30 am.

4. Your husband works at something called a "manufacturing job" which in addition to a salary provides him with "benefits" and something called a "pension." (These things existed then, but they do not now. You might want to look them up.) His job both stresses him out and bores him, so he takes refuge in hard liquor when he comes home. If he wants sex and you don't, all the conjugal rights are in his corner. And remember, even Betty Friedan's husband smacked her around after a couple of belts. You might have to get used to it; the 1950's police rarely intervene in "domestic issues." [Actually, Blue Gal stands corrected. Feminism did make a difference in this arena. Hitting or raping your wife is now a crime in all 50 states. Thanks, Gloria.]

4. You smoke, your husband smokes, all your friends smoke. You all stink like smoke, but nobody has a sense of smell from all the smoking. If you get cancer, you die. End of story.

5. There is no such thing as Prozac, South Beach Diet, or thong underwear. And you will not go out of the house without wearing one of these:



Have fun back there, girls.

Don't Sugarcoat It Award for November 9

The most recent "Don't Sugarcoat It Award" goes to Driftglass, for his
post, The Credibility Depression. Driftglass will go on, but he helpfully blockquotes his news sources, so you can skip all that and simply read his most excellent writing. Here's a snippet, but Blue Gal says one bit can't do it justice:

I began this blog in March of 2005.

This was just after George Dubya Bush interrupted another month-long Crawford vacation with Tope the Magic Flagon to mule it back to D.C. with his constitution snippers cached in his rectum at the behest of his Christopath Overlords.

Measured in style points, The Schiavo Mob Action was nothing new; it has always been S.O.P. for the G.O.P. to let the vociferous scum that is their “base” do the Party of Lincoln doggy-style while they dispatch their roves and trolls and henchmen to horse-head anyone that tries to pull the curtain back on their diseased little odium-orgy.

Blue Gal was gonna hat tip Jurassic Pork on this one, but damn, he got Blue Gal on the latest meme trap. Yer supposed to comment on whether the fifth sentence of yer 23rd post is still relevant, then find five other victims bloggers to do the same. The answer is, like all things Blue Gal, extremely relevant:

"Yes! Yes! We all bow to Fafblog! Yes! Yes!"

and the five are...

Weird Wally
Agitprop
Birmingham Blues
Bitch PhD (Love the name and the skin photo, Bitch)
and
What Do I Know?

Blue Gal not responsible if they've already done it or don't want to.

Oh, and because she asked for it, Blue Gal has been smacked. If you want to comment on the review, do it over there, please.

Blue Gal. Ten Inches. Cut.

Karl, don't get yer panties in a wad: this is not a post about Jeff Gannon.

First bloggers against the wall when the revolution comes are those who take the time to post their new hairdo. Google Blog Search for "new haircut" shows there are 87,594 of you. Please stop it.

But Blue Gal did give ten inches of her own hair (yes, that's really Blue Gal's shorn locks in the above photo) to make wigs for disadvantaged kids in chemo. Thanks to Locks of Love for the opportunity. Blue Gal readers who are also aging hippies (and you KNOW who you are) can do the same at that link.

Let's do the numbers...

According to Bob Harris, Dick Cheney's approval rating is now eighteen points behind those who believe aliens have contacted the U.S. Government.

'Course, there could be some overlap.



If you need some political self-gratification (what, the cow panties from yesterday didn't do it for ya?) Mother Jones has a lovely article called "It's the Corruption and Cronyism, Stupid" which outlines just how deep
a poll hole Bushco is sittin' in.

Did somebody say...panties?

Now wouldn't cha just love to have her job. Blue Gal usually does not post on the weekend, but when she heard there was a recall of ground beef PANTIES she just could not resist. Made her Sunday. (Hat tip: Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me)

When smoking was cool

Image from Chickenhead

That's Blue Gal's alternate title for the movie she saw last night, Good Night and Good Luck. Clooney really puts us back in the 50's: Everybody in this movie smokes. But, hey, it's a good flick and ya oughta see it. Just don't think of the current state of broadcast journalism while you're watching...yeah, right, as if George Clooney doesn't insist you do. Okay, just don't think about Brit Hume. If you do, you'll never stop crying.

One Year Ago Today...

...Blue Gal started her blog. It was Election Day, the day President Bush received A Mandate from The American People(tm) and earned political capital which he intended to spend. The day a great many blues downloaded visa forms for Canada. Blue Gal called them wimps and said that the fight was just beginning and this was gonna be way funnier than Kerry woulda been. And hasn't she been proven right? er, Left?

Since that time, Blue Gal's relationships with the Faf, the Fluff (Keith Olbermann), and the Poof (Anderson Cooper) have kept her name in the blogosphere limelight. ('Course, the recent revelation of Abby at Falafel Sex and her sordid one deer stand with Scooter Libby just knocked Blue Gal off the illicit relationship map. But still.)

And not only the political stage has changed. Blue Gal has been a vehicle for personal growth. For instance, Blue Gal is no longer awakened by images of Bill "Cat Killer" Frist being released from prison wearing Martha's poncho. She sleeps soundly, knowing the power of Photoshop and where she can go and more importantly, where she does not need to go. Setting limits, after all, is the first step to authenticity. And as Manolo so wisely says:



While she is a straight mother of three, she for some reason dreams of the day "LESBIAN POWER" t-shirts come in a size 3T. (Or maybe she actually saw one outside a Seattle Montessori School. It's possible.)

Have a lovely weekend, folks. And to her regular readers, all she can say is, panties. Oh, and thank you, Sister Rosetta, for making sure our undergarments are in keeping with the Bible.

Feathers and Fear

Blue Gal doesn't get it. Are we supposed to believe Dubya when he says avian bird flu is not an immediate threat, when we can plainly see that a highly resistant strain has infected the Giambattista Valli Runway Show above? That poor girl is pale, emaciated, and covered in feathers. What more evidence do we need?

But seriously, folks. Dubya is scared [of his current poll numbers], and wants us all to be scared too [so we will turn to him in trouble? ha.] Speaking of the politics of fear, Blue Gal sends a hat tip to The Sunday New York Times, for pointing out an article by Frank Furedi on spiked-online.com. Spiked-online is a good read in and of itself, btw, specially if you want the British lefty slant and like yer PM on a plate. Here's a snippet of Frank:

The term 'politics of fear' contains the implication that politicians self-consciously manipulate people's anxieties in order to realise their objectives. There is little doubt that they do regard fear as an important resource for gaining a hearing for their message. Scare tactics can sometimes work to undermine opponents and to gain the acquiescence of the electorate. However, the politics of fear is not simply about the manipulation of public opinion. The political class is itself anxious and disorientated. In the present circumstances, even professional political operators who are in the business of promoting fear are themselves habitually overwhelmed by it.

The politics of fear is a manipulative project that aims to immobilise public dissent. But it is also the mantra with which a disconnected elite responds in the circumstances of its isolation.

So next time you hear our President talk about flu, just remember what [t]his fear is all about.