Monday, March 31

Salon tonight 9 Eastern

Blue Gal's Salon 3/31 hosted by

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Go vote for Melissa McEwan (Shakespeare's Sister)

Hey Harvey, how about a nice heaping cup of shut the fuck up?

Mmm-kay confession, I've only heard of three of the finalists in the pick your favorite woman blogger thang. One of those three I would never vote for, Digby is certainly worthy, but Melissa has a special place in my heart.

Do what you like Digby fans, I won't hold that against you a bit.

Not to get all anti-sistahood on you, but I smiled to see that Malkin and K-Lo somehow didn't make the cut. Girls? Have a cuppa coffee.

Happy Blogiversary...

To one of the best writers on the internet.

Sure, those panties are funny, but let me tell you specifically about a time when my relationship with the knighted** blogger Sir Driftglass took a decided turn.

**Knighted by Lord Gilliard, 2005.

On the comment thread of his post of May 24, 2007, this exchange took place between myself and another of Drifty's millions of female fans:

I have to admit regarding this so-called "Andrea", her name missing the little Blogspot 'B' or any link at her name that indicated she was, well, anybody, my initial reaction was, as Mom would say, not very nice:

But then I did what I always do when I smell a catfight where I might be one of the cats.

I curtsied low, face to my knee, and withdrew.


I withdrew.

First-in-line-Andrea probably jumped his bones.

But I at that very moment chose the greater good, to being in my own mind regarding Driftglass a colleague rather than a groupie.

And truly, there is not another blogger out there who has inspired me more as a writer. I read his every single post and feel honored to do so.

I'm going to close this Hallmark card with a couple of quotes I stole from his comment threads. One thing Driftglass and I do have in common is amazing readers who often challenge us as much as he does.

a "talented, tall, hungry wolf of a writer"

You are so clear about what is terribly wrong, and you are so clear about what must be done to change things and, at the same time, you are so clear about remaining sane in the face of global insanity.

Brilliant Prose, Drift, worth spreading everywhere; but if it were, there would be four hundred friggin' comments here by now. I like it like this. . . like the best little restaurant you've ever discovered, and it's always just a few regulars scattered around, munching the good stuff.

none so amazing as Sir Driftglass who honors Blogtopia with his presence.

As one blog put it,

Every once in a while, a string of words is crafted so well, so elegantly, that they put the finest strand of pearls to shame. Driftglass, for example, tosses such miracles around like Rockefeller dispensed dimes to urchins.

Happy third, Sir Drifty, and many many more to come. (And to my readers, please leave your accolades and congratulations over there. Tell him Andrea sent you.)

Sunday, March 30

late blogging on a Sunday

and no excuse, except to quote Mary Baker Eddy: "Rushing around smartly is no proof of accomplishing much."

Friday, March 28

One of the best movies...

...I've seen in a long time. Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day:

I suppose you could call it a chick flick, but you'd be doing yourself a disservice. For film buffs of either gender it's a well-done nod to the "women's film" of the WWII era (and set during that period to push the point). But more than that it's a lovely example of what happens when everything in a film is done exactly right: casting, costumes, music, set design, and of course script...right down to the editing...the pratfall in this featurette is wisely cut from the final print.

Highly recommended.

In which I find myself defending her.

Two columnists this week have treated Senator Clinton unfairly, to say the least:

I wrote about this at a bigger blog but Michael Kinsley's oped about how long it takes Hillary Clinton to get ready in the morning and isn't it unfair that women's looks count more than men's...please. Some readers didn't see a problem with this article but here's my take: there is NO reason to bring up the makeup issue in the editorial pages of the Washington Post. Kinsey is writing a piece on fluffy gender differences rather than political realities because he hasn't a clue. Painting it over with the "life is unfair" conclusion does not excuse the intimation that Senator Clinton will lose valuable sleep because her LOOKS matter more than the other candidates. Why didn't they tell that to Golda Meir and Maggie Thatcher?

I think this is an area, particularly in terms of media analysis, where reasonable people can disagree. But I don't trust that Kinsley was making a straight statement about media fairness where Senator Clinton is concerned. He was bringing up issues of looks and vanity and image handling to infect the discourse, in my opinion. I'm not a Hillary supporter, and this article struck me as pandering to sexism.

Then there's Maureen Dowd
, and yeah, she should change her name to "Maureen Dowd, heavy sigh why does she have her job."

If McCain only served one term, Hillary would have one last shot. On Election Day in 2012, she’d be 65.

EVEN IF Dowd had not put McCain's name in the same sentence as the prediction of Clinton's age, seriously what the hell is Dowd thinking?


I mentioned this to some fellow bloggers, one of whom was so bold as to make the "it's different for girls" argument. Somehow Maggie Thatcher or Golda Meir are allowed to be older successful women politicians, but what, Hillary is too pretty for that? Or not tough enough? Or what? What?

I'm not the only NYTimes reader who ain't buying that.


While we're on the subject of Senator Clinton, here is a juxtaposition I would like folks to think about. I seriously think it's time for Mister Dean to start spanking, if not some candidates than some state party chairs. Michigan and Florida broke the party rules. Deliberately. Very deliberately. Senator Clinton respected those rules by not campaigning in either contest, good on her. What is with this?

Does Senator Clinton write the rules? Just asking.

Banned from Casa Blue Gal...

...the children's book "Training your Pet Ferret".

...any grilled cheese sandwich recipe which requires that you first boil lemon slices until there is "just a thin syrup left in the pan."

...the Southern "lifestyle" magazine Garden and Gun. Catch phrase: "Live the life." Not making that up.

Thursday, March 27

yeah yeah I talk to myself...

But being a techological kinda person I can do it in two tracks. Hope you can make this out:

And I know you don't believe me about the Hello, Kitty! wifebeater shirt.

Wednesday, March 26

Autism and Filmmaking

David Mamet wrote a book about the film industry called "Bambi versus Godzilla".

Mamet [associates] “ignorance of or indifference to social norms” and “high intelligence” with a form of autism known as Asperger’s syndrome that, he writes, ... “sounds to me like a job description for a movie director.”

Individuals with autism and talented movie directors alike also frequently exhibit tremendous acuity in "visual thinking". Author Temple Grandin, who has autism, wrote a book called "Thinking in Pictures." Oh. So did movie director John Sayles. heh.

The first two youtubes are homemade videos/visual experiments, by individuals diagnosed with some variation of autism. The third one, well, diagnosis or not? Give me a break.

Found on youtube and I'm very impressed.


Yep, this filmmaker is just getting started, but there's all the signs of high visual and interest in making movies.


So I really wish I could sit down for half an hour with this guy's MOM:

Actually, I think David Lynch would be just a bit impressed with what the first two directors did with zero budget.

And the language used, the disjointed thoughts? Knowing her and arms that bend back and pretty songs from birds? I watched this three times and thought, hey, with just a little bit of floortime and ABA therapy, Lynch's dream creatures could be, well, one of us.

Spot the Liberal

Yeah I was gonna have a croissant, too, but I'm watching my pennies and calories, not to mention there was all that Bosnian sniper fire next to the pastry display.

Tuesday, March 25

Too many totally weird things going on to blog today.

This morning I found out I somehow lost an important email from a friend. An important email. From a friend. I'm really pretty devastated by that. We'll patch it up, but still, it appears as though I ignored her when she needed me and that completely sucks.

Blog Against Theocracy went very well (actually perhaps too well which may be why I missed/lost/never got the important email). We had over 175 participants (yeah 175 emails in two days maybe I deleted something by accident?) even without counting James Carville's contribution, curse him.

Last night's salon everyone was nice but it was weird and if I'd been around more I might have been able to fix that. My apologies.

Sorry I'm really really beating myself up right now.

And then The New York Times wonders on page one if Obama is too liberal to unify the country. And in the past 24 hours I have actually agreed with both Chris Mathews and David Brooks. No links I just can't deal.

I'm gonna take the rest of the day off.

Monday, March 24

No Vlog Today, but Salon Tonight

Blue Gal's Salon 3/24 hosted by

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Had a child home from school today and I have a strict policy of none of my children on the video blog, ever. Note that even Pammy took down her My Sharia video, and those of you who saw that...well...

I'll try for a video blog tomorrow. Incidentally, those of you who don't know, I'm moving with my three kids to the Midwest this summer. If you have moving advice, please share it!

Here's the link for salon. The past couple days have been very up and down so I'm looking forward to kicking back with everyone as I can.

Thanks to everyone who participated in Blog Against Theocracy, which was amazingly successful. Go visit the amazing writers who took the time to blog about separation of church and state.

By the way, I'm still putting up links over there, so don't think it's too late. I haven't even written my own post yet. But I've thought about it.

Sunday, March 23

Blog Against Theocracy 2008 - Details

Moving this post to the top for the entire weekend, ma hunnies. Have a great one. -- BG

BAT logo by Tengrain of Mock, Paper, Scissors, who points out:

The theme [of the blogswarm], like always, is the Separation of Church and State — we are for it. But the variations on the theme are many...This is not a bashing of religion - peeps can believe what they choose, however they choose — but it is a reminder that the Government should keep out of religion, and Religion should keep out of the government.

The image above is available for everyone to use. You can grab it here, or at Flickr or Photobucket.

Here is how to participate in the blogswarm.

1. Write a post in support of our United States Constitution, specifically regarding the separation of Church and State. You can write your post anytime, but the blogswarm takes place Easter Weekend, March 21-23. Your post will be linked at the Blog Against Theocracy website during and just after that weekend.

If you have any writer's block on this, here are some great websites to get you started:

First Freedom First
(their "questions to ask the candidates" series is very timely)

The ACLU's religion page

And I also love the blog Talk2Action.

2. Send the URL of your post via this online form, and add any comments you would like. I will receive your link and over Easter Weekend (and just after I'm sure) I will post these to the BAT website.

3. Sit back and enjoy the hits, and know that Thomas Jefferson, Buddha, Mohammed, and Jesus his own self would be proud of you. (Yes, personally? I really believe that.)

crossposted lots of different places, including the Blog Against Theocracy site. If you want to pimp this at your own blog, I suggest sending people to that post. Thanks.

Saturday, March 22

Baby on a Train Stories

Mine, Friday night: So I get on the Amtrak train and I had paid just a very few bucks extra so I would have a guaranteed writing seat for me and my laptop.

Got to so-called bizness class and found it was still SRO. Heh. There was a young woman who had her baby in a carrier in the seat next to her. Amtrak guy tried to nicely explain that the baby didn’t have a seat. I looked at the conductor guy.

“Are there electrical outlets in the Club Car?”

Yes ma’am.

“Can I have one?”

You can have two.

So I have a choice between sitting (A) next to a new mom traveling alone, whose baby seat I have abruptly moved to the floor, and (B) a desk all to myself…with two power outlets? And all of a sudden I believe in the win-win power of Tony Robbins's teeth.

And here's Flip Wilson's train story. He makes his career on his first Tonight Show appearance by Making. Johnny. Laugh.

Thursday, March 20

not buying it

There are lots of reasons not to.

Darfur is kind of a big one.

Then yesterday while our Vice President was telling lies about stuff he is responsible reprehensible for, the Chinese said shit about the Dalai Lama. As if.

For one day, I looked for that label before I bought anything, and then didn't.

Fuck 'em.

Blog against theocracy starts tomorrow I'm gonna have a post up about that later today.

Wednesday, March 19

The Closer

(Tears flow down the face of one Marty Nesbit as he watches Obama's speech. From USAToday.)

After yesterday, no more 'he's my fourth choice for President'. Thanks to the anonymous (coward) commenter at Drifty's who pointed us to this tune:

I'm also joining those blogging against the five year old war today. Bush and Cheney baked a goddamn cake it seems.

No, they're brownies. Heckuva job, get it?

Our Preznit says the Iraq War was worth it, and Vice, who clearly has no conscience left if ever, linked Iraq to 9/11 yesterday. And said the economy is going through a rough patch. And went fishing. Not making that up.

I shake my head in shame and go back to watch The. Speech. again.

We'll get out of this somehow, ma hunnies. Love more for every hate, and fear no ill. See if you can find a peace rally to attend tonight in your community. They're out there, and they need you.

Tuesday, March 18

Another Mayor Daley lands another convention.

Good lord, the Green Party is having their convention in Chicago and they are suggesting that their cause should be "taken to the streets." Ya know, like the glory days of 1968, man!

Imagine the words of the Green Party's most inspired orators thundering through the downtown in this busy pedestrian area, inviting curious onlookers.

And while we Democrats are still having a little eensy weensy war of words (that Markos is such a sweet talker, inn't he? Yay, netroots!) it turns out there's a battle for the Green Party nomination for President between Ralph Nader, who says no, I don't want to be the Green Party candidate I'm going to run on my own good looks and charm, and former Georgia pol and noted hothead Cynthia McKinney, who says the hell you will, Ralph, en garde or whatever! Well, not really, but try as I might, I can't avoid the image of the blood of Cynthia McKinney and Ralph Nader flowing through Chicago's rivers "Kill Bill" style...

A poem for Holy Week?

I've run it before but I just love it. From Writer's Almanac last November:

Monday, March 17

Salon tonight whew that was close

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The "Never in a Million Years" meme

Thank you again to those sweet people who have contributed to my fundraiser. I deeply appreciate the help (and yes every little bit does help) and especially the kind words.

Video blog might happen later today depending on my internet connection. I'm traveling this week. Salon tonight for sure.

Evil twin has continued the "five I wouldn't throw out of bed" meme.

I humbly offer the opposite, the "never in a million years" list which I do not meme but anyone is welcome to add to, link, or whatever.

I would not order a pizza with him.
Even if he was buying.
If you know what I mean.

Neil Cavuto? If he was the last man on earth? No. Not even then.

Seriously, even Elliot Spitzer's fifty-five hundred dollar hooker would think twice before "swiping his debit card", doncha think?

Who's on your "not in a million years" list? Others I've heard mentioned are John Gibson (well, yeah), and then from a gentleman (?) he listed, well, the usual conservative "babe" suspects as you might imagine. Malkin, Atlas, Morgan, Debbie Strussel, J-Lo, Coulter.

The opposite of "intelligence is an aphrodisiac"? That would be Glenn Beck.

And I also think there are some conservative women who should change their names before they run for office, don't you?

Sunday, March 16

Wrong on so many levels, and surprisingly not a photoshop.

A to-do list, my friends.

Write 'em, read 'em.

Iraq War Blogswarm is Wednesday, how-to's and details here. (I'm not a worker bee on this one but I will be participating.)

Blog Against Theocracy is next weekend, how-to's and details here. (Worker bees? Me and lots of others. Thanks for all the help on this, folks.)

Saturday, March 15

Saturday Song

I can't believe I never heard this song before this week. Johnny Boy is exactly the kind of peppy but "ooh it's political" stuff I listened to in graduate school. Tres retro!

Friday, March 14

Do you think I'm far-left enough?
'Cause I'm beginning to wonder...

from In These Times:

"Is Obama a socialist?
We wish."

Thank you. (and a message to Driftglass and his readership.)

The blogosphere is an amazing place. Thank you to everyone who has kicked in ten bucks, sometimes more, and then even moreso has left messages like

"We need your voice, your humor, and your intelligence out here. Keep up the good work."


And now about Sir 'Glass and his amazing readership
. He would delete this if I posted it as a comment at his place, so here it is, my friend, where you can't get at it:

The blogoversary party for that gentleman is March 31. I'm organizing it, so you kinda know what that means. Ahem. And you won't be needing no five thousand dollar hookers, my friend. I'm assigning line numbers for the ladies, kinda like on Southwest Airlines. The single malt at the open bar is only the good stuff, and the "intelligence is an aphrodisiac mansion" bumper pool/science fiction fishbowl in the basement starts at 10 pm on the dot.

Should be quite a party. xoxo

Update: Don't get me started about Mike at the blog roundup.

Thursday, March 13

It's a wonderful life

I do this so reluctantly. I'm taking the title and the text from this post and out-and-out stealing it from Digby, who so often says what we all want to say better than we could say it. She said it at Christmas but remove the "stocking stuffer" part and it still holds true.

I greatly value the freedom and independence that voluntary direct support from readers offers. It's an unusual model, but it works quite well for some, including me. So, if you like what I'm doing here, and if you have your credit cards out doing some last minute online shopping today, perhaps you could send a little stocking stuffer my way...

I've been told by friends that I should have done this a long time ago. But today I've had one of those mornings where, while it's sunny and in the 70's in Alabama, I feel as if I'm standing on George Bailey's cold bridge praying, "show me the way."

One thing that's kind of ironic is that I've always used every single dime in my paypal account to support other bloggers, you know, the Clarences who fell in the icy water first in order to "save me."

(If you hate paypal for some reason and still want to contribute email me at the address on the sidebar for snail mail.)

Those of you who know me personally know some of my situation, those of you who read this blog (thank you, thank you) know what it is worth to you. I appreciate how you value me, no matter whether you can contribute something or not. Thank you.

Wednesday, March 12

It's a woman, er, no, it's a writer thang....

Just want to take a minute to thank judiphilly at Truth, Justice and Peace for listing me as one of her top ten women bloggers.

She was prompted to do so by Women's Voices/Women's Vote, a website which is, in honor of National Women's History Month, is holding a "name your favorite woman blogger" contest. (Full disclosure I just voted for Shakes.)

Judiphilly makes two very good points:

"There are a lot of really good women bloggers who deserve more recognition..."


"I don't normally focus on male vs. female bloggers -- I like well written, intelligent writers, with a bit of humor on occasion."

I replied:

I'm honored to be included in your favorites. You're right, it's not about gender, it's about writing. My mother is an artist and when they opened the Museum of Women's Art she said, "Ick, I wouldn't want to be ghettoized like that."

But I really do appreciate the mention especially in such fine company. Thanks.

Ironic that this time last year we didn't KNOW Digby was female.

Tuesday, March 11

Another very special message for John Amato

I want you to know how much I enjoy writing for your blog...and...well, I think there's something I need to tell you. I don't know why I haven't said anything before, but here goes:

I'm fucking Al Franken.
Oh, and Keith Olbermann, too.
I'm fucking Russ Feingold.
No, I don't mind if I do!

I'm fucking Bob Schieffer
(Okay, we do it on the phone).
But I'm not fucking James Carville,
So Matalin, leave me alone!

I'm fucking Jon Stewart.
But I don't take this too far.
I'm not fucking Chris Matthews,
and I'm not fucking Bill Maher.

And of course, I'm fucking Stephen Colbert. But you knew that.

Happy Birthday, John honey. xoxo

Disclaimer: I've never actually met John. Honored to be a part of his award winning team, though. Which means Duncan and Markos are shit-outta-luck in more ways than one. ;)

Monday, March 10

Salon tonight on Skype 9 Eastern

You don't need any equipment other than a computer with keyboard and to download skype. Hope to see you there.

Blue Gal Salon 3/10 hosted by

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Spitzer's real crime? Selling out to Bollywood.

The payoff...

The entrapment...

And the musical finale, at the Hillary Clinton Superdelegate Floorshow** in Denver! (Yes, that is Barbara Boxer shimmying with Elliot!):

**Update: Radar Online reports Senator Clinton never heard of him.

Vlog 3/10 looking for your suggestions.

So what would you do if invited to a bridal shower and you don't know anyone associated with the party?

I'm getting much better at keeping these under five minutes. Thanks for the feedback on that.

Sunday, March 9

Okay, okay, some election stuff.

This is a story told in chunks but they all flow into one another. I hope.

I remember as a teenager my dad took me to hear Julian Bond speak. Why yes, I was raised right, thank you. After his talk JB told the audience he would be happy to take questions provided they did not begin with the words, "isn't it true that...". People who begin their so-called questions with "isn't it true that" either want to give a speech, and have the speaker agree with them, or they want to argue. Julian Bond did not want to do either one.

So I was reminded of Julian Bond when I heard recounted a talk given by a visiting professor in the "Women and Religion" teaching program while I was at Harvard Divinity School in the 80's. Visiting Professor talked with a group about her research in women and religion in American Literature. When it was time for questions the woman in charge of the talk (and also the teaching program so she was sort of the visiting professor's boss) got the ball rolling:

"Isn't it true that the Women's Movement in the '60's was the greatest thing that ever happened to you?"

Okay, you're going to think I'm making that up. But that is how the visiting professor parphrased it to me, verbatim.

Visiting Professor says she replied that she was really not involved in the women's movement. She was involved in the anti-war movement, pretty heavily, and while that's not a conflict with the women's movement...well, at least it wasn't in the '80's.

Woman in charge persisted. "But the women's movement gave you permission to take your place in the anti-war movement, right?"

That clanking sound you heard in 1987 was my then-overplucked eyebrows hitting the ceiling. Anyone who knows the history of the '60's knows that women getting treated like shit in the anti-war and civil rights movements helped instigate a lot of anger which was turned positively and forcefully into women's rights activism.

The hostess of this academic shindig was not interested in historical fact or the anti-war movement. She was interested in advancing the cause, her cause, and possibly even a good cause, at the expense of everything else.

Then last night...a library book award dinner thingy. One of the head librarians was there, and I was sitting next to her husband, a charming old southerner who stood up when a lady did, etc. Librarian, an otherwise very cooth white woman in her sixties, was gobama Al-obama mo'bama dang!

Husband said, "yes, we're a mixed marriage."

Me: You're a Republican?

He: A proud one since I was five years old.

And inside I'm screaming, Oh sweet Jeebus rock candy on a stick.

But then I figure, I'm already sitting here pretending all kinds of things so why not pretend to be nice? He's beyond hope, not trying to convert me, and too old to matter, so I keep my charms about me. There was actually still a Republican race going on during the Alabama primary so I ask him politely how he cast his ballot.

"I voted for Hillary."

And inside I'm screaming, Oh sweet baby Jeebus rock candy on a stick.

You did this because...

Wife: Oh yes, he wants McCain to run against Hillary.

He: But I don't like McCain. Not a bit.

And inside I'm screaming, Oh sweet baby Jeebus Holy Ghost rock candy on a stick.

And then I had another big swig of that luscious Italian Valpulciano Red and I stopped caring altogether. And I don't care about what Taylor Marsh thinks about nuking Iran or expanding NAFTA either. Because I don't think she's thinking about that at all when she says things like the last three sentences of this post.

Please, Ms. Marsh, woman to woman, you're driving me to drink more red wine than is healthy.

One more thing. Under no circumstances do I give Obama a big ol' pass on anything. I agree with those who say he is deliberately vague on issues. I despise his "reach across the aisle to Republicans" mumbo-jumbo. He is the fourth candidate I have supported in this election cycle. And I won't vote for a third party candidate or support draft movements or any other silliness come November. Should she be the nominee, President Clinton will get the Hell blogged out of her right here after I vote for her. And just try to stop me when I get "uppity" about the Beltway Democrats. Sigh.

And I don't want anyone thinking I don't want a woman President. I certainly do. I'd like to vote for this one, for instance, and maybe after she gets eight years of White House experience, I'll have my chance. I wonder whether then she'll get Taylor Marsh's undying and unending support.

And while I usually keep my comment thread policy as liberal as my politics, don't nobody talk trash about Michelle.

Exchaging subtle for subtle.

Dear Blue Gal,

Because it's free, I'm starting a entrepreneurial google adsense barf bucket blog that I only plan to post to, like, twice. But I'm going to cut and paste that old big brass balls blogroll to the sidebar so I'll get some hits and make money! money! money! Plus my posts will include the words "Democratic" and "Election." Would you like to exchange links with me?

h/t tengrain for the image.

Saturday, March 8

Good morning and Saturday Song

Me awake for five minutes but in Alabama you hurry with the camera because you never know when the snow is just gonna up and melt. And because of all the silliness over the "women are stupid" article at Wapo (Charlotte Allen obviously has me confused with someone who cares what she thinks)...

...and because today is International Women's Day...

A little Bubbles and Cheesecake, sistahs:

Friday, March 7

Howard Dean's strategery adviser called.

And my friends? (gag). Suprise (sic). Here's the plan for November. No matter who the nominee is. Simple.

No kidding!

Ann Coulter and the Friedman twins! Yeah. Back in the 70's they were in a band! Shit, man, you never heard of that? In support of UNICEF or something. Hold on I've got the vinyl record here somewhere....

Thursday, March 6

No, Lent isn't over...

...but this is like any other year, the bitchy blue nun in my Lenten banner hadda leave to go finetune her database. The Lenten database is always a thing of beauty, but there's true penance in that no one will need it after Easter.

I've been working on an alternate header anyway.

Wednesday, March 5

Knitting Dr. Seuss?

Will you? Will you? In trinity stitch?
Will you Will you? Just to bitch?

I will not knit in trinity stitch. (not "fake" trinity stitch, either)
I will not knit it just to bitch.

Will you? Will you? It's on sale!
Will you Will you? The Holy Grail!

I will not knit it if on sale.
I will not knit your Holy Grail.

I will not knit the Star Wars cap.
I will not knit such silly crap.

Will you knit to please your lover?
Will you knit his Ipod cover?
Will you knit something Doctor Who?
And will you post it if you do?
It's not like we're asking for Star Trek.
Oh please, Blue Gal, knit an evil Dalek?

I will not knit to please my lover.
I will not knit his Ipod cover.
I will not knit something Doctor Who.
So I shall not post it when I do.
Don't you dare say "knit Star Trek."
And I will not knit an evil Dalek.

Even though I have the yarn.

PS. Even if I did not believe in the curse of the boyfriend sweater, I will never knit a sweater with a hand-knit cord channel along the shoulder that supports and contains the Ipod wires to run up his arm to his ears, along with several other knit pockets for his Blackberry and other penis extensions, either. So fuck you, Knitter's Magazine.

This post is dedicated to my friends at Madrona. So sorry I had to miss it this year. xxx

Tuesday, March 4

Six Sentences or Six Words

Savage Chickens is new to the BG blogroll.

I like the blog that does stories in six sentences. Now there's a meme on writing your memoir in six words. Doug got it from Salon. But I read about it at Doug's.

Here's what I came up with in six minutes, rearranged by quality, I think:

Finally learned what she is worth.
(Sounds like a haircolor ad, I know, but I was getting warmed up.)

Pretty, sexy, smart, and modest, too.

Too much cowbell, not enough sax.

Her house cleaned itself or else.

She became her mom. Thank God.

It's all written down here somewhere.

and my personal favorite:

Forgiveness was the best revenge ever.

Praying for Gaza

From Shunra: "The standing figure is the emblematic "kid" from Palestine, standing sadly. He appears in lots of Palestinian graphics."

Condi. Sheesh.

While we Democrats fret about today...

...just be aware that somewhere in Alabama, a guy is driving a white pickup truck with a "Proud to be a Republican" bumpersticker on it.

I know, I was driving right behind him.

Monday, March 3

Salon Tonight

Blue Gal's Salon 3/3 hosted by

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Vlog 3/3, or what I look like when I'm busy

Only four and a half minutes 'cause that's what I got. Salon tonight link later. xo

Blog Against Theocracy on Easter Weekend

I collaborated with Tengrain of Mock, Paper, Scissors, who also has a great description of the event at that link. He's terrific. The original image is from here and I have my Dad to thank for sending me that bit o' historical Quaker goodness.

Sunday, March 2

Zen and the art of away from.

I dunno, sometimes I wake up in a very Zen mood.

I take water aerobics and the toxic old lady in class with me complained (as she exercised in the middle of the pool next to the swim lane) that the swimmer in there had splashed her and got her hair all wet.

A commenter at an A-list blog I write for, on a comment thread regarding Sunday Morning Talk shows, said this:

Dear, sweet baby Jesus!! Will someone make the Obama/Clinton noise go away?!

Excuse me, my coffee just shot out my nose.

I have a cousin who taught me this terrific phrase: "the power of away from..." If it's getting to be too much for you, my friends, (and that phrase sure is) just turn it off. Get out of the hottub, towel off, lie down, and relax.

No one is requiring any of us to do politics or save the world all the time. Even when parts of the world (Gaza) really need our attention. Even Jesus his own self took a break every once in a while.

Sometimes be here now means being away from the angst so we can fight the good fight better another day.

Saturday, March 1

Saturday Song with bonus movie review

I saw Semi Pro tonight (in future it will be known as the "Will Farrell Basketball Movie" and will come in a boxed set with the Will Farrell NASCAR movie and the Will Farrell Skating movie) and it owes a lot to...yeah...disco circa 1976, but also to Michael Moore, without whom we would not know just how quickly and violently Flint, Michigan died in the seventies. If comedy is tragedy plus time, this movie proves it vis a vis Flint.

The Flint Tropics (obviously bought from sunnier climes) are a bush league basketball team. You don't need to know any more about this movie except that and Will Farrell. Will Farrell, like Steve Carrell, has an innocence that, painted over with fake surety and false testosterone, is just fall-flat hilarious. When, after a bad call, he tells his Catholic priest referee to "suck my cock! I'm gonna kill your family!" and then when after the entire movie he says he's been keeping this team franchise going for his dead mother and then he dreams of her in heaven and she's Patti geez it's funny.

And who can argue with a theme song that is a blender's smoothie idea of ersatz "You Sexy Thing," and "Sexual Healing," topped with some creamy "Let's get it on" for sweetness. Except, of course, the lyrics (as I heard them in the closing credits, not here dammit) include:

That's right girl,
Let me whisper in your ear.
Baby, wake up!
We're naked.
And we're humpin' sexy.
It's been goin' on for fifteen minutes...
Oh, it's too late.

Cracked. Me. Up.