Monday, September 14

Something more wrong than even Glenn Beck.

...That would be Politico's "DC's Most Eligible Singles".

I resisted all morning blogging this, thinking I could reduce it to a twitter message, but really. Starting off an article with "DC is not Hollywood for ugly people."

And then the list...

Steny Hoyer? Ezekiel Emanuel? Maureen Dowd?

Look at the write-up for Patrick Kennedy:

If you can overlook his occasional stints in rehab, Kennedy possesses a boyish look that keeps him on the radar screens of many.

Holy Shit! The publicity agents who arranged this travesty? Helloooo? Fired very much? If this is an exercise in journalistic cruelty, kudos to Politico. But I'm thinking not.

I had to blog about this, because this quote-unquote "article" is living proof of what is so very wrong with the people who purport to Govern This Nation. The President has absolutely no prayer when it comes to "changing the way Washington operates" when the whole town is buzzing about when can poor Janet Napolitano find time to date.

Never in our history has the DC social scene interfered more with the nation's ability to fix what's wrong with Washington, and Washington's ability to fix what's broken in our nation.

The number one reason we will never see justice for the torture of prisoners under American jurisdiction is that bitterness will ruin DC's social scene. Healthcare? Better make it bi-partisan, you know Andrea Mitchell expects all smiles at next year's prom.

Apparently the DC media cohorts can't cover Steny Hoyer without gasping that the congressman is single and probably straight. If his secretary RSVP's, call the Georgetown caterer and double the mini-quiche order, won't you, dear?

Washington is a horny town, full of young and not-so-young party-goers all of whom find power to be the ultimate aphrodesiac. And they're too busy scheduling the next party, to have any idea how pathetic and disempowering 'power as aphrodesiac' really is.

Why does what Senator Ensign actually did, pay a staffer and her entire family so he could have cheating-on-his-wife sex with her, not lead to his immediate censure and expulsion from not only the Senate, but Washington society? Because if the divorce comes through, he'll have a nice 200 word profile in the next Politico list of sexy Washington batchelors:

If you can overlook his use of party funds to turn an employee into a prostitute, Ensign possesses a handsome "George Clooney" look that keeps him on the names-whispered-while-humping-my-pillow list of Maureen Dowd.

When the doorbell rings and standing in the doorway is a jobless recession "recovery" bringing the no-healthcare reform pizza that John McLaughlin ordered while pretending to go to the bathroom, that's the signal:

It's time for the Stephanopoulos cocktail party to END.

Let's break it up, and move the party over to that new wine bar in Georgetown: I hear their paper napkins are actually cut-up scraps of the Geneva Convention.


  1. Blue Gaaaaaaaaaaaalllll.




  2. Anonymous3:37 PM

    Classic BG


  3. As Frank Zappa once opined, 'Politics is the entertainment branch of industry'.

    Obviously the same type of breathlessly fleshy 'product placement' and libido flaunting applies 'round the Potomac as it does down Sunset Boulevard...These people watch too many TV shows of actors portraying too-clever politicians making sexytime betwixt their byzantine plotting.

    Worse than Glenn Beck, though? Hmmm...


  4. I recall years ago reading that Washington Monthly (or some monthly Washington mag) picked George Will (whose was then between marriages) as DC's most eligible bachelor. My thought was the lesbian bars must be packed, because if that is the what passes for the most eligible straight guy in the city then lots of women had to consider appropriate alternatives.

  5. Great essay! Bonus points for the Zappa quote. I never regret hitting the hypertext button to visit!


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