Monday, January 9

dissing Oprah and there's nothing you can do about it.


Oprah drives me nuts. Her magazine advertising is directed at women like me (I'm 42) and it's all about removing wrinkles, losing weight, and taking the right pills. Her magazine is supposed to be about women and ideas and values, but it practically ignores the role of motherhood. I'm not asking "O" to be "Parenting Magazine", but when I saw the Jan 06 cover of Oprah "at home in Santa Barbara with the kids"--three golden retriever puppies, I wished that her "kids" would piddle on all her "Love That!" merchandise, including the $120 Bubble Bath. [If Oprah was a real mommy to those dogs I might desist, but looks like Oprah hired a puppy nanny to clean up after them when they kept her up one night. Holy dog poop.]

Oprah magazine is not about women so much as blatant materialism. Oprah can afford anything so let's revel in her fantasy, no kids, perfect job, wonderful house in Santa Barbara, etc. etc. The magazine is a perfect escapist fantasy for the middle aged, overweight, low self-esteem, trapped by children female. (Not too close to home, but still). Far be it from me to deny anyone their escape. But Oprah's empire definitely needs some air taken out of it.

I realize there are a lot of childless-by-choice women out there (including Oprah) and I applaud them. Motherhood is not for everyone, and I do not put anyone down who is smart enough to know it is not for them. But Oprah denigrates the role and toil of motherhood by calling puppies her kids.

I did like this diet, from an apparently abandoned* Oprah blog:

...heart disease is the number one killer of all the fat, unhealthy, chain smoking lard asses in America....Listen, if you think you have heart disease, do something about it.

1. Turn off Oprah, get off the Jennifer Convertible your sitting on, put away the Cheetos (I'm looking at you Britney) and go for a fucking walk. Repeat 5 times a week.
2. Stop eating meat. That shit is nasty and it's bad for you.
3. STOP SMOKING! They don't call them cancer sticks for nothing.
4. Stop eating and drinking crap. There are these things called fruit and vegetables that grow from the ground and in trees. Try them.
5. Vote democrat. Trust me, it will make you feel better.

*and yes, I join the hoards who think Blogger should get a clue and release blog url's that haven't been posted to in six months. is NOT being used, people.


  1. How, though, is she supposed to know that having three puppies keep her up all night isn't the same as having babies?

    Did you know, prekids? Heck, I raised my siblings and *I* didn't know until after kid2 what a toll sleeplessness could take.

    FWIW, I found Oprah to be of value when I was stuck in a war zone, in a culture that is based on hatred. Her attitude was a breath of fresh air and I gasped for it daily. I think that many women are in that situation, in a daily war - a battle against society telling us we should be other-than-we-are, and that there's no way to succeed. Oprah, for all her (surgically removed or airbrushed) warts, provides a safe space where someone with celebrity credibility (sorry, that's a value in American culture...) saying "stand up for what you're worth". (I learned the phrase "what part of 'no' don't you understand from her. It stopped some people in their tracks long enough for me to get away. There are many other good ideas. Even from Dr. Phil...)

    I think what you describe in your post expresses a problem that exists among our generation (I'm 39) with accepting any statements/attitudes/folks at face value. Maybe we were so bombarded with clever advertising that we cannot believe a word anyone says, anymore. This is a problem, I think, because it disables verbal communication, a foundation of democracy. It is a pose that poisons our souls, as a generation, I think. Perhaps I am naive (OK. No perhaps about it. I'm totally naive) - but it seems to me that if we've lost the ability to speak straightforwardly and hear straightforward speech, we'll end up in the hands of a manipulator who knows the next order of levers.

    In fact, as a nation, I believe that's already happened.

    (Now I'll go finish that cup of coffee that chilled off during morning rush hour...)

  2. I think Shunra, what you say is true. My argument is not with Oprah so much as her magazine, which really takes the cake as far as advertorial is concerned.

    I didn't know how much work kids would be, no way.

    I'm glad there is an Oprah, but I'm bothered that women look at her and think, well, that makeup kit that Oprah says "Love That!" would simplify and beautify my life so that I could be just a little more like her.

  3. 6) You should poop more often. Flatulence is not unladylike, it is an essential bodily function.

  4. Voting Democrat will melt the pounds away.

    I like that meme!

  5. Kevin's comment reminds me of when my son was potty training and there was a copy of Oprah Magazine on the bathroom floor. "Oprah poops in the potty" he said. I thought to myself, "yes, but her poop is gold and smells like Oil of Olay beauty bar."

  6. I've never read Oprah's magazine, but I'd buy it just for that picture of those cute puppies. She's a marketing genius.

    Btw, I'm sick and tired of creating a new blogger account every time I post on one of these blogs. Is there anyway to recover your password? I've signed up about 5 times, creating a new blog each time. I have no idea why they do that.


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