Wednesday, October 14

Wanna get lucky, I mean, appear to be a complete douche? There's an app for that.

This app is supposedly tongue-in-cheek, Pepsi has apologized, we can all go back to the kitchen and bring sammiches and Pepsi to da guys while they watch the playoffs. It's a joke, honey. (H/t @smassing)

And not only plays off the overt sexism of categorizing women into types in order to "score," it implies you really can't do so without technology.

Because really, nothing says "desirable sex partner" than when he stares at his IPhone in order to figure out what to say next, where he's taking you to dinner, and how to make you like him enough in the short term to, you know, do it.

Columnist Dan Naumovich is my hero for saying what I wish I'd said:

...Stephen Stills once advised that if we can’t be with the ones we love, we should love the ones we’re with...[but it's] not a total exaggeration to say that we live in time when many wouldn’t notice that the guy in line ahead of them at Wal-Mart was on fire unless someone texted them a link to the YouTube video that the cashier was shooting with her cell phone.

Which points out the other problem, impatience. If a male has to "get to know" a female in order to gain the only thing of value about her, namely, what's in her panties, then he obviously wants to do so as quickly and efficiently as possible. Here's a letter in the latest Advice Goddess column:

I've gone on more dates with this girl than I've ever had with any other girl. I've always gone out for drinks, then to a girl's place or mine for no-strings-attached sex. When I make moves on this girl, she pulls away, saying, "It's too soon." I feel our dates have been a waste.

Dude! You're too sensitive! Here's a deal for you. Look up "date" on your IPhone thesaurus [hopefully that came standard], and I'll define "no-strings-attached sex." Is "she faked an orgasm" part of the picture, dude? How would you know? Pepsi hasn't developed an app for determining if your partner is enjoying sex with you, because there's no demand for or even irony about that. Maybe you can claim on Twitter that all the "no-strings-attached sex" you've had was tongue in cheek.



  1. douche_geek_guy12:42 PM

    Is it true that they had a pick-up line for "blogger chicks" that was...
    "Hey baby, I got high speed wireless in my bedroom!" and "Hey there. So... wanna do something that everybody else will be writing comments about on your blog?"

  2. Is this where we're at as a species? Wow.

  3. douche_geek_guy: I wouldn't know. I never got picked up by a guy who didn't have high speed wireless in his bedroom. :)

  4. Wow....given a h/t by the famous (infamous? perhaps) BlueGal? I feel special now :)

    Thought you'd be interested in it, with your interest in feminist issues. I feel...well...weird saying that, though. Something like this SHOULDN'T be a feminist issue. It should be a common sense issue, or a human issue. But sadly, humans aren't quite that bright yet.

  5. If she twitters her orgasm to him during the act, then he can be sure it's real.

  6. They used to peddle "Spanish Fly" and How-To hypnotism books in the back of magazines, right next to the Charles Atlas Muscle Beach ads, and the X-ray glasses that could see through clothes! The evolution of advertising aimed at male insecurity went high tech.


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