"I'd like to be nice if I knew how."
If she knew how.
There is no knowing "how" for a girl in that matter. If Nature and her mother have not done it for her, there is no hope for her in that head.
Anthony Trollope, The Small House at Allington, 1864
I came across this LA Times article about a plastic made in China gadget which allows a woman to "fake" virginity, presumably on her wedding night. It's got jockstraps-in-a-twist for the double-standard bearers of the right wing Islamic world.
And no where in the debate is the sense that women are supposed to enjoy themselves sexually either before or after marriage. We don't hear from the female sex partners, to put the term most generically, of Ensign, Sanford, Vitter, and even Letterman as to whether or not they enjoyed the sex. Well, in the case of MRS. Vitter, we kinda do know, don't we? As the ol' joke goes,
Q: What did the prostitute do for David Vitter that his wife wouldn't?
And I see from his wiki page that when Ensign was in college, "he and his wife, Darlene, were active in the Promise Keepers, an evangelical group." How's that promise keeping working out for ya, John?
So I went internet hopping to find videos and quotes to piece together a post on this, and not to be snooty, but the most germane item I found was this piece I happened to write myself back in January of 2008. I love having archives!
Oh don't worry, ma hunnies, I would never run the youtube here at this here blog.
OH WAIT. There's a version with Madonna, Britney, AND Christina Aguilera? Oh well in THAT case... And look, there was a time when BS could walk down stairs in high heels sans assistance...
Anyone know who the rapper is at the end? [UPDATE: It's Missy Elliot.]
My favorite part is that the overarching camp of the whole performance means the Queer Eyes for the Straight Guy are having a fuckin' ball. But my political/social commentary point, and I do have one, is that I wrote an open thread at the big blog linking Susie Bright on the poster child for abstinence, Jamie Lynn Spears. And one commenter said, "Boy, those Spears girls sure do like to fuck."
Jamie Lynn, like ALL sixteen year old girls, had a choice between two types of partners: she could do it with a teenage boy, or she could be done by a statutory rapist. It's possible she did and was done both ways, and I would put real money down that she didn't enjoy it they way Mother Nature, whose own orgasms are earth-shaking indeed, intends women to enjoy sex. (It also appears the rapist wins the "who's the daddy" contest for JL's baby. Sad.)
Britney, on the other hand, was able to choose her sex partners from a very large group of men, whose only requirement was that they have the taste, intelligence, and patience of, well, Kevin Federline. You know the type. Their letters to Maxim Magazine are always the same:
Oh, just keep being the amazing lover you obviously are, Dan.
I've talked with a large number of women about this topic over the years and asked lots and lots of girlfriends the following questions: How old were you when you first had sex, and how old were you when you had your first orgasm? The orgasm gap is pretty damn wide for a great many women. I have yet to meet an honest girlfriend who had their first good sex before the age of twenty-two. Lots and lots of women have had lots and lots of sex before they actually enjoyed it.
And sadly, some men and women never figure out which female erogenous buttons to push.
And nearly all of my readers know the button is nowhere near here:
And is much more likely to be somewhere in here:
Today I discovered what I'll have to do to fix the fundraising video I worked on yesterday: starting over from square two with a new coding on the source vids, which will have to wait until the weekend. So I'll do one more fundraising day next week sometime and in the meantime, thanks for the support thus far. I really appreciate it. xo