Thursday, September 2

Reverse Engineering Selena Gomez's 'Only Murders in the Building' Sweater

Gorgeous, right? 

And no, you can't buy one. 

You'll have to figure out how to knit it. The show's wardrobe maven/costume designer Dana Covarrubias bought this one in a Brooklyn vintage store, son of a bitch. 

Selena Gomez's character Mabel is a KNITTER. So can you! 


Sweater appears to be a simple, boxy, stockinette stitch pullover. Big needles. Something a beginning knitter could take on. 

You can purchase and download the book "Simply Beautiful Sweaters" and use this pattern:
If you already have the 1999 paperback book on your shelf (I DO, of course) go with that. 

Pockets optional, but you just know Mabel loves pockets.  She may not be confident enough as a knitter to put pockets on her sweater, though.  Good thing Bluegal is knitting this one, then.  


While the pattern is simple, the yarn is not. This is high-end art yarn, handspun, hand-dyed. Expensive. Off to Etsy you go!
Assuming you don't spin yarn yourself, you're going to spend a couple hundred dollars at least just on the dark stripes for this sweater. 

The fluffy beige stripes on this sweater are mohair. And since you're already spending two hundred dollars on this 


sweater for yourself, 

you might as well spend three. Back to Etsy you go!
Side note I'm assuming Mabel goes to Purl Soho and West Village Knit & Needle for her yarn.  She probably bought this sweater as a kit.  I'm guessing $270.00, $210 on sale.

New York City.  $310.00.  

Knitting the sweater

I would scrap the pattern, start over, and knit this sweater top-down saddle shoulder style, using a Fibonnaci sequence of stripes with more stripes of the expensive art yarn near the neckline and shoulders.  

Also, I would grab a bunch of yarn from my stash and strand it rather than buying art yarn.  I wouldn't buy any Mohair either.  There's a ton of gray dk weight in my stash and I can strand that with some stash sock yarn or something.  

It looks like this was knit on pretty big needles -- US 11's or 13's.  I would prefer to use 9's or 10 1/2's because they're easier on the hands.  

Since many of the sweaters I've knit this year are for middle child, who is vegan and does not wear animal fiber, I would knit this sweater using acrylic novelty yarns perhaps combined with a solid.  It would be just as pretty.

Like this one**, completed last month.   It's not blocked yet -- trust me, the sleeves match.  

** Pattern:  Bernat On Repeat Knit Pullover.  Yarns:  Lion Brand Heartland in color "Yosemite," Sirdar Jewelspun in colors "Nordic Noir" and "Northern Lights". 

Thursday, August 19

Ep 612 The Professional Left Podcast

August 19 is my ten year wedding anniversary with Driftglass.  THANK YOU to those who have put a tip in the tipjar!  Very much appreciated by both of us.  


Friday, August 6

Ep 610 The Professional Left Podcast

"Don't expect you to do that, just say that the election was corrupt + leave the rest to me"
Link for this episode: Chumplady on David Brooks's divorce.

Friday, May 28

Ep 600 The Professional Left Podcast


For Posterity

Below is a post I wrote for the now-defunct blog The Aristocrats back in September of 2006. The Jan 6 Commission vote had me saying "fuck" a lot and it brought this old post to mind, found at the Wayback Machine and posted here for posterity: 

 David Broder: My Inspiration 

 See, I surf around the blogosphere, trying to stay out of trouble, but lo and be-fucking-hold, who's there but one of the fuckfiends from The Washington Post, David Fucking Broder, wearing fuck-me pumps and this little green skirt, spouting off about the "the vituperative, foul-mouthed bloggers on the left."

Ya know, it takes a fuckload of nerve for that fuckwad to say that. 

 But look, I'm not some two-bit fuck who types "fuck" and then expects some other fucknut to clean up her fucking mess. A blogger's got to take some responsibility or she'll never amount to a fuckload of shit. As far as I'm concerned, Broder's head is so far the fuck up his fucking ass, he can't see straight, but that's his own fucking problem. 

 I know a lot of fuckwads, you know, "integrity bloggers," who wouldn't do fuck-all about this predicament, just fuck off for a while and wait for the whole thing to blow over. But you see, that's just not this bloggerfucker's style. What the fuck ever happened to accountability? The blogosphere can be a real fuck, sure, but we fucking finish what we start, and not just when we're blogging, if you get my fucking drift. 

Any fuckhead integrity blogger who thinks I should fucking walk away from this fuckface column and ditch the potty mouth is a fucking fucktard and I'll say it to his fucking face, the fuckface. 

The great thing about blogging is, we don't really give a fuck. The MSM can fuck us around, but they know not to take it too fucking far. You know why? Because you don't fuck with fuckers, that's why. And if you fuck with the fucking blogosphere, you'll end up being the fuck that gets fucked. Simple as that.

Item Number Fuck on our agenda? Blog about David Fucking Broder, that's what. All of a sudden, that fuckface is relevant. Kinda makes you wonder what that fucker's real agenda is, donnit? 

 Most of this post was out-and-out fucking stolen from The Onion. Fair use? Fuck me.