Wednesday, February 28

Carnival of the Liberals 33 - Now with limericks!

When Shakespeare's Sister did her Carnival Number 30 in poetic form, I just knew I had to one-up her. So I promised her...limericks. What an idiot I am. For those of you who hate limericks, I linked each post again at the end without limerick accoutrement.

By the way, the first stanza is for those readers coming here from Crooks and Liars. Thanks, Mike honey. Rock the house and break a leg this weekend. xoxo


There once was a stringer from Lowell
To “expose” C&L was his goal:
The hack found, through his fishin’
That Mike’s “just a musician,”
The way George Bush is “just an asshole.”

I laughed hard at Montag’s good fable:
As he criticized Hilary’s “table.”
While she frys, in her pan,
AIPAC’S dish called Iran,
I choked on my Ethernet cable!

Quaker Dave may be silent and plain
But this blogger uses his brain:
It’s a snow day! Wear woolies,
And stand up to bullies,
Who would stop a pro-family campaign.

Okay, shut the door! Check the lock!
It’s time to go read Evil Spock!
You don’t need to be lonely
‘Cause Dating--Whites Only
Is a fabulous issue to mock!

By now you are asking the host,
“Hey, how ‘bout an anti-Bush post?”
Okay, here’s the war
And Joerg doesn’t bore,
In fact, you may like it the most.

And while we are chatting up war,
If we’re really just trying to score
Understanding, I’d bet
On a Vietnam Vet.
Yup, Rez Dog has all that and more.

This limerick I didn’t shirk,
But for this one it just might not work.
About torture? Bush crimes?
Hey, but at least it rhymes.
Oh go ahead, think I’m a jerk.

Tengrain’s post is well-written and fine.
He encourages us all to go sign
A petition, left-leaning
And his blog gives new meaning
To the words “Intelligent Design.”

The Greenbelt
blogs something new.
Reminds Bush that it ain't World War Two.
He may own the Big Three,
But he doesn't own me,
And that's putting a stone in his shoe.

Recovering Liberal says it's our duty!
What you say? Why, a swiftboat of Rudy!
There's no ifs ands or buts,
('Cept we don't have the guts)
And are worried it might mar our beauty.

The last blogger has a solution,
To our social and gub'ment pollution.
It's long, and damn good.
And read it you should.
Doctor Biobrain's own revolution.

So that's Carnival Libs Thirty-Three.
It's been fun, don't you agree?
Now I'm out the door
See you at Thirty-Four***
If I make the cut! Oh well, we'll see.

***March 14 at Brainshrub. If you have a liberal blog of your own, and would like to host a Carnival, sign up here.

And for those of you who hate limericks, in sorta alphabetical order:

Atlantic Review
Dr. Biobrain
The Greenbelt
Media Bloodhound
Mock, Paper, Scissors
Evil Spock at The Needs of the Few
Recovering Liberal
Montag at Stumplane
The Quaker Agitator
Unsolicited Opinion

Tuesday, February 27

A question for my fellow small-bloggers

I'm writing this post 'cause I need some advice about us small bloggers and how a good organization can reach out to the blogosphere.

Don't let your BS meter go off until you've read the whole post, kay?

As you MUST know by now, I'm a big promoter of First Freedom First, a group dedicated to separation of church and state. I write about them at my blog, blah blah blah.

So I'm chummy with one of the gals on the staff and I hooked her up with Tengrain of Mock Paper Scissors and he covered one of their "events." (I know, BS meter just moved into yellow, turn it down.)

They treated him very well, I understand. Press Pass, lunch, the whole shebang. Good enough, we're all good.

So then FFF gal writes me and says, this is great, we wanna do the same thing in DC AND (you might wanna unplug the BS meter at this point) we also want to get the blogosphere more involved and sponsor some conversations with bloggers.

GAAH! God knows which awful A-list blogger might show up! Cooties! Cooties! (And since I know the big-name blogger in question frequently Googles his own name, and might think this is personal, I left it off. By the way, it is personal. Personal memo to said blogger? I left it over here.)

So anyway. I'm going to steer this FFF gal away from the word "conversations." Hilary's ruined that word anyway for the next four, fo' sho. Is "blogger meet-up" similarly awful? Maybe if there's free food? Your thoughts.

I'm a little worried that I'm being selfish here in wanting FFF to have an audience but not through the big boys. At least with DKos I have control over content, initially.

So tell me about bloggers in DC, what you know. Anyone cool enough for this, in your opinion?

The dealio is, there ARE two tiers of bloggers. Those who are impressed with Club Washington, and those of us who aren't.

But this may be so inside the beltway that it's outta my league, in terms of making things happen for them.

So I guess I have two questions:

How does a good small group like this "reach out" to those of us who are suspicious of such in the first place?

And is there any good inside the beltway at all? (Besides the FFF folks, of course.)

Yeah, I do have some heroes...

Andy Stern is president of the Service Employees International Union. It's the fastest growing union in North America. Andy is also a founder of Wake Up Walmart:

I'd like to know how long she'd hafta work just to make the amount equal to Mr. CEO's tax cuts under Bush. You'd better believe Andy has done that math, too. Turns out Walmart owners the Walton family will get a $32 billion tax break just from the repeal of the estate tax. That's billion with a B.

Andy Stern is not trying to organize Walmart. He thinks that's a fool's errand, and he's right. But he's going after Walmart big time to point out that a new model is needed for worker rights and worker representation. As he said in January 22nd's WSJ:

The question is do they [Wal-Mart] want partners or do they want to be held accountable in a much more public fashion?


Monday, February 26

To: David Broder, just because...

Ah yes, if you would like to send this lovely gift to Mr. Broder, it goes to:

David Broder
The Washington Post
1150 15 St. NW
Washington, DC 20071

But if you just want a T-shirt, mug, or tote bag for your own lovely self (and to those of you I've been emailing back and forth about this, sorry for the delay) you can order it here.

Or just click on the panties, Mrs. Broder.

Sunday, February 25

Art and chaos day at Blue Gal

Above is detail from Joan Linder's "Bra, Italy; Panties, Cambodia; Shoes, Brazil," online at the Judi Rotenberg Gallery (Boston).

If you want to read a three-thousand word essay about this piece (which shows the large undergarment, small outline of the country-of-origin, and a larger citibank logo), with similar musings about the nature of personal clothing, commerce, privacy, ownership, sexuality, national boundaries, and art...'ve come to the wrong place. Let's not spoil it, shall we?

Some of the art in this gallery makes up in fine execution what it lacks in subtlety of statement. (Oops, I'm about to ruin it for everybody. Sorry.) I offer as a fine for-instance, Dave Cole's Trophy Wives, and Money Dress, a Vera Wang gown knit out of strips of dollar bills. Timely that Lizzy Gardner's Gold Card Dress from the 1994 Oscars said the same thing with less tearage.

Hey, it's Sunday afternoon. Galleries like this one, whether virtual or real, are for walking around and getting lost. Enjoy.

Friday, February 23

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales is a complete asshole.

Sorry. Just wanted to put a final nail on the coffin of my "paid position on any Presidential campaign" ambitions.

There, that's better.

So what's got me so pissed at the AG at the moment?

Americans United [for Separation of Church and State] Slams Justice Department 'First Freedom Project' For Hypocrisy

“Expecting the Bush administration to defend religious liberty is a little like asking Col. Sanders to babysit your pet chicken,” said the Rev. Barry W. Lynn, executive director of Americans United. “This administration has repeatedly worked to destroy true religious freedom by merging church and state.”

Read more here.

Not to mention the REAL first freedom organization, blinking ad on my sidebar people.

If you haven't signed the First Freedom First petition yet, I am asking you as both an American and a believing Christian:

What the fuck are you waiting for? Theocracy? Welcome to it.

(My apologies to the FFF folks. They are professional and spare us all the potty mouth. That's why I'm not on their payroll. I'd rather have another freedom: to call the AG a fucking asshole, complete with illustration. Thank you.)

Carnival of the Liberals - Submit, ma hunnies!

And the Jester looks to his Left.

Blue Gal, the blog, is hosting the Carnival of the Liberals 33 on Wednesday, February 28. Basically, liberal bloggers submit posts from the past month for consideration and the host picks ten and links 'em. So you get a little backwash traffic and some linky love for your trouble. Remember COTL says I can only pick ten. Shakes Sis did her Carnival in poetic form and I promised her I'd do mine in limericks. Why did I do that? Why?

The guidelines for submissions are here. Submit your post using the handy form here or send the link via e-mail to cotl DASH submissions AT carnivaloftheliberals DOT com before 5PM Central Time Tuesday, February 27. Looking forward to reading all of these. COTL is a real labor of love and a chance for all of us to bond. As if we don't already.

Thursday, February 22

Heeding the Call

"...Democrats don’t have the same sort of culture that breeds party discipline.”  - "Norm" Ornstein, quoted at The Hill, 2/21/07.

Cross-posted everywhere except Kos.

Wednesday, February 21

Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.

Because I'm sitting here with a sooty cross schmeered on my forehead (try going to Ash Wednesday service surrounded by 19 four-year-olds -- it's a trip.) I thought I should do a religion post, and then I came across this fetid pile of horse manure, and I just hadda share:

A new statistic has emerged from the 2006 election data that seems to be guiding the smear tactics of the Republicans: a majority of Americans with strong religious beliefs now view themselves as the victims of discrimination.

So, even as Democrats made some gains amongst religious voters in the last round of elections, authoritarian conservatives continue to gain ground by convincing huge [numbers of] Americans that religion is under attack.

The "God Gap," in other words, is getting nasty--and if last week is any indication, things are about to get much, much worse.

Okay, breathe in, breathe out. I've been doing it all day. First up, YO! FELLOW CHRISTIANS! If you are white and live in the United States of America, there is no FUCKIN' WAY you are persecuted. It's in your head. Get over it.

Number two: Some Christians believe Jesus is God his own Self. Some of us don't. (Whoopsy, I think I'm about to get my blog kicked outta the World Council of Churches. Wev.) Anyhoo, however so-called Christians deal with the so-called divinity of Christ (Yup, that ripping sound is my WCC charter, bye now.) most of us are united in believing that the Wayshower through whom we connect to God was nailed to a piece of wood and left to die. So, how do ya think someone who came back from that experience is gonna react to the whole "white American persecuted Christians" story? Hmm?

Number doo and a heif: Look, my own sins keep me busy 24/7. If you're not doin' 'em, you should be repenting 'em. And hopefully the good outweighs the bad. We try.

My goal for the next 40 is to give up sloth. That means a little more exercise, a little less vegging in front of the laptop, and a little Flylady action on my house, though IMHO going whole-hog Flylady amounts to housework fetishization, which is not my bag.

Whatever your bag is, I pray you don't carry with you the added burden of imaginary persecution. There's enough real persecution against which to do battle, and it's always, and I mean ALWAYS, our job to lift up others rather than whine about the cross we think we have to bear.

Happy Lent. (Yeah, I guess The Fucking Catholic League won't be endorsing my URL either. See Jesus Sez above.)

Tuesday, February 20

Some final (?) thoughts on Spartacus

Just a couple last minute thoughts on Shakespeare's Sister and the support the blogosphere showed her last week.

1. Drifty had a great idea. He's amazing.

2. I emailed a whole buncha bloggers about that idea, and it snowballed from there. The only reason I mention this is that if you are a blogger, and you are not on my email list of "fellow bloggers," feel free to email me at bluegalsblog AT gmail . (If you want to be off the list, email me there too.) I don't pimp my own posts through that list, but I do send out stuff that I think other bloggers will want to know, like the Spartacus idea.

3. As of this writing, there are 1,135 mentions of Spartacus on Google Blog Search in the past week. Nearly all of them are in support of Melissa.

I want to grow old with you people. Seriously. Cue "Let's Stay Together":

I know some bloggers are starting over with their blogrolls. Feh. I've never discovered and added to my blogroll so many fine writers. Welcome to the party.

4. In spite of all the crap she has had to deal with this year, Melissa took the time to link to the Spartacuses who posted comments at her blog.

That shows what kind of person she is.

UPDATE: Ooh! I just got my "I am Spartacus" Pink Petulance T-shirt in the mail! I'm gonna hafta shrink it by Friday night, so my nips will out-perky Konagod's.

Monday, February 19

I've been found out.


I know. I owe all of you an apology.

Here I was supposed to be off the computer, recharging my batteries, and putting some much needed perspective into my intellectual and spiritual life...

And I wind up nude blogging over at the Aristocrats. How that information was leaked, well, I guess there's nothing like job security for Mr. Fitzgerald, now, is there?

In my defense I have to say Sandy promised me there was no film in that digital camera.

Good thing Lent is coming soon, and my resolution to give up sloth is underway ahead of time. That photo is a phenomenal wake-up call.

(But seriously, turning off the computer for several hours a day, I did check email but still, really made a difference. Thanks for your patience, etc. I'm back.)

**The image above is from an actual, though not updated for a couple months, blog. No naked parts there, but I did learn that at least two different guys in this wonderful country of ours (okay, here and here) thought it was a good idea to place pictures of their genitals on women's cars. Women they didn't know. That's gotta be a turn-on for somebody, I guess, but give me Douglas in his socks any day.

Saturday, February 17

Prayer and Fasting

Happy Birthday, ICMS, I love you.

It occurred to me this morning, before I even got out of bed, that I need (maybe we all need?) a break from teh internets.

Nice people are showing signs of strain. It's been a very, very, tough week.

I'm gonna close my laptop and tape the word "fasting" on the top. And when I see that word, I hope I will remember to silence my monkey mind* and think about all the breaks Jesus took. Have you ever noticed that? "Asleep on a pillow." "Jesus withdrew."

Matthew 12, Mark 3, Luke 5. HUT!

(Okay, you quasi-agnostic lefty blogospherians don't need to take me too seriously.)

Back Monday or Tuesday, at the latest.

*Monkey Mind. Yeah, that's Buddhism, I'm fruit cocktail when it comes to faith, a little of everything, but Jesus is the maraschino cherries.

Friday, February 16

Am I the only one who noticed?

I keep this in the back of my head because it really is the only time I've agreed ever with the Bush Administration. It irks me that there is even one time, but still.

Remember last March when Congress and the Amurrican media were all bent out of shape about the Dubai Ports Deal? And how it was exposing us to possible terruh to have foreign (oh let's just say it, ARAB! ARAB! ARAB!) ownership of entities related to port security?

I wrote about this here, but let me save you a click:

...we don't have to worry about any actual citizen of Dubai working at one of our ports. They don't work. Work is for Pakistanis and East Indians, who are shipped into Dubai to do the work. Dubai citizens shop, because they have lots of money to shop with. There's a reason Calvin Klein opened a private boutique in Dubai. He can make money there. Lots of it....

Well now there are two interesting developments. First, news that really matters to citizens of Dubai, they've got a brand new second Marks and Spencer store. That's "Marks and Sparks," Congressman, not "mass destruction."


But the other thing, that I think is so funny, is that the Dubai folks, seeing a public relations quagmire that was just going to lose them money, decided to quickly and quietly sell the US Ports division to an American company, which, no doubt, will someday be bought up by a Chinese or Saudi or South African country, not to worry, so long as it doesn't affect the Dubai's ability "Dubai" Calvin Klein at Marks and Sparks. Get it?

Enter the Port Authority of New Jersey. They now say they've fixed up the place, and if Dubai wants to sell, they'll have to pony up the fee, reportedly, oh, 84 million dollars, for the "Flip That House" makeover.

But wait a minute. TWELVE MONTHS AGO "U.S. lawmakers said they feared giving a state-owned Arab company control of U.S. port terminals would threaten national security." Frist and Hastert introduced the legislation objecting to the deal.

Waitaminit waitaminit waitaminit. And DON'T tell Neil Cavuto.

This Arab company has had control of U.S. port terminals since last March! And the sale that's gonna put it under the control of good old safe not sorry Uncle Sam is now at risk over some outrageous renovation fees? 'Cause, you know, that's gonna cost the Dubai folks, and they never agreed to pay out. It's a sale, that means a flow of income TO Dubai, and that's how Dubai likes it.

I don't need to mention that United Arab Emirates, home of Dubai, is "a U.S. ally and frequent port of call for American warships." Ahem.

The CEO Dubai guy, Mohammed Sharaf, is calling our bullshit big time:

"In this case, the U.S. should be accommodating the deal if they are really concerned about security. They asked us to leave because of security concerns and now they are delaying the deal," Sharaf said.

Pffft. They've operated the ports FOR A YEAR, people. Plenty of time to plan an attack on THEIR OWN PROPERTY, WHILE IT IS BEING RENOVATED BY THE JERSEY PORT AUTHORITY.

It's okay. Breathe in. Breathe out. I've been doing it all day. I guess we shouldn't be surprised when the Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee really doesn't know the diff between a Sunni and a Shia...

Look. I may never get a teaching job, but I can write a lesson plan:

Exhibit A: Might be a terrorist. Also might be from Texas, Mister President.

Exhibit B: Definitely dudes from Dubai, photographed during, and no, I am not making this up, the Annual Dubai Shopping Festival, which is a 45 day international "event."

Please note, the loud siren sound you hear is the BG/BS Alarm System going off. It sounds anytime, anywhere, someone mentions a "shopping event," or for that matter, "a television event." There. It's off now.

Speaking of the Dubai dudes above, yeah, the guy on the right is pissed that the guy on the left got the last white headscarf at Saks Fifth Avenue. What? You think there isn't a Saks in Dubai? Love the gold robes, guys. They say "Spring" to me.

Thursday, February 15

Carnivals even for those who hate clowns.

Meant to post this image yesterday and got all busy. Blue Gal is among her betters this week at Carnival of the Liberals. The posts this week are really excellent--congrats to Greenbelt for doing such a fine job.

It's a tough act to follow, though. CotL will actually be at this here blog in two weeks on February 28. You have until, I think, February 27 to get submissions in, and you must submit them through the CotL website. They've got good (and helpful) submission guidelines over there, too.

In the meantime, don't forget to vote in the Pammy Atlas photoshop contest. I don't wanna tip the election results, but I did hafta change my panties after I saw "rug lick."

Pammy her own self said yesterday: "If policy and principle is what's really sexy, then John Bolton is People Magazine's Next Sexiest Man Alive."

She wins. I just can't write anything that funny.

Don't Sugarcoat It Award for February 15

Yesterday was quite a day of love and support for Shakespeare's Sister. We're all Spartacus. And I hope that each and every Spartacus out there wants to grow old with me. We're in this thing called the blogosphere for the long haul, people.

That said, we have to give a don't sugarcoat it award today to a blog that said she was *not* Spartacus. You see, Mildred doesn't just pick up her chains and stand up to the imperial centurion named Donohue, she pretty much runs over and pulls the motherfucker off his horse and feeds his balls to him with her bare hands. Oh, and she mocks the Pope.

It's special.

Wednesday, February 14

I'm Spartacus.

We're all following Drifty's lead, today. If you have a blog, please join us.

UPDATE: It's not a blogswarm, it's a movement. Red Queen is working on the t-shirt, and it's fab.

UPDATE 2: RedQueen's got "I'm Spartacus" shirts for sale now at Cafepress. All profits to Shakes and family.

Tuesday, February 13

Blue Gal's gay agenda initiative

I suggested this initiative at a satirical piece I wrote for The Aristocrats, but it seems to have resonated with a couple folks. Feel free to steal this image for your sidebar, and while you're at it, do what I did and link the image to Dignity, the largest organization for GLBT Catholics.

I like this from their website:

The Vatican has released a document banning priests "who are actively homosexual, have deep-seated homosexual tendencies, or support the so-called 'gay culture.'" … This galling fact is, this document, while purporting to "clarify" Church teaching or "purify" the priesthood, is really nothing more than an effort to link the criminal activity of pedophile priests with homosexuality, and to distract from the reprehensible behavior of bishops who covered up their misconduct.

The image above is in no way intended to "link the criminal activity of pedophile priests with homosexuality." It's meant to be funny, and get people to think.

On topic, there's a great article in the latest Atlantic Monthly about the efforts of some low-key gay activists to make sure state legislator races (and yes, this issue will only be won at the local/state level one at at time, imho) go to those who at least will not follow a right wing anti-gay agenda.

Chris Crain blogs this article way better than I could, though.

Monday, February 12

Blown Away.

I want to thank the reader/helper/contributor SOUL SISTER who took it upon herself to send me four items from my Amazon wishlist. Including this CD:


The Blue Gal school carpool minivan will be rockin' this month, I can tell you.

Thank you. It is an honor to know you.

Happy Birthday, Charles Darwin


You can do no better to celebrate the old man's birthday than by signing the First Freedom First petition, if you have not done so already. As their website points out:

Americans United for Separation of Church and State and its allies won an important federal court ruling against 'intelligent design' creationism in Dover, Pa., public schools in 2005 - but the challenges continue. And as we all know, the courts alone cannot be counted on to defend our rights. That's where First Freedom First and public activism come in.

The first "Darwin Day" celebration was organized by a humanist group in Palo Alto, CA, in 1995. Darwin Day activities now take place at colleges and universities, schools, libraries, and museums all over the country. These events provide a wonderful opportunity to not only celebrate Darwin's birthday, but to engage in public outreach and discussion about science, evolution, and the importance of evolution education.

The Interfaith Alliance and other religious groups have worked to dispel the notion that people must choose between religion and modern science. More than 500 churches are organizing Darwin Day events this year. Evolution Sunday was celebrated in churches all across the country.

Movie Review: The Painted Veil

Spoiler Alert: This review has plot details for The Painted Veil, Fight Club, and Cold Mountain. Some of this review might give you more info than you want before you see any or all of those movies.

I went last night to see The Painted Veil, primarily because The Lives of Others isn't in Birmingham yet.

(As you know, I don't like to blog about what everybody else is, so if you want to read over sixty-two hundred blogposts about Norbit, go here.)


The screenwriter of Veil, Ron Nyswaner, summarizes the plot better than I could:

On the surface, the story is direct and dramatic: a man with a broken heart seeks to punish his adulterous wife. The journey of this ill-matched couple is fraught with sexual and psychological tension. The story takes a surprising twist, however, as the characters come to see themselves and each other in a new light; the psychological thriller becomes a spiritual journey.

The reason this film is a spiritual journey is that the two are married already, at a time (1925) and in a place where divorce for adultery means personal and social disaster. It simply isn't an option for the wife here, and that fact instigates the entire plot. The bitter couple simply have to put up with each other, and through the movie grow up and learn to forgive. I love how both of the characters grow over the course of this film.

It's also easy to see director John Curran's art and graphic designer background in this film. Each and every shot is damn perfect.

I could argue with the plot, though of course part of that is Somerset Maugham's fault. In order to develop the husband's character, it seems necessary to turn him into a knight, which gets a little thick for my taste.

But jesu christi, who knew that Edward Norton was such a sex god? Saw him a couple weeks ago in The Illusionist, and man, does that boy know how to cross a room with firm intent to do the nasty. It's like in Fight Club, where we find out Norton was actually Brad Pitt all along? Edward, honey, methinks that's the story of your whole career, babycakes.

Same guy. No, really.

And Norton gets major props as Producer for waiting for Naomi Watts to play the wife. No other actress I can think of could have pulled off this role. Watch the scene, and it's just a little domestic scene, that little scene where the whole movie turns around, where she sits sewing and laughs at her husband, herself, and their imperfections. THAT, my friends, is acting.

More props and a casting-against-type Achievement Award: Diana Rigg as a Mother Superior.

The end of this film, spoiler alert, scroll over for the rest of the sentence, is totally like the ending of Cold Mountain. So don't be prepared for they live happily ever after.

This kind of movie, in spite of its twists, is what I call a chick flick Happy Meal movie: it's got costumes, romance, just enough adventure to feel rescued, etc. Think Cold Mountain, the latest Pride and Prejudice, anything starring Juliette Binoche. Edward Norton is the toy inside. You know pretty much what you're going to get, and you don't care.

BTW, when Norton says to Watts: "I guess it really doesn't matter now, does it?" I got to cry. I love to cry. Blue Gal highly recommended.

And no problemo if you wanna wait for Netflix. Paying fuckin' eight dollars to watch ads for Coke and M&M's. Fuckity fuck fuckers. (The Illusionist is on DVD now, btw.)

I'm only gonna mention this here once.

I said this over at C&L this morning and I want to say it here, too. Then I've said my piece and I'm done.

Nancy Pelosi's need to avoid dirtying her shoes on the ground of flyover country is a non-issue, and everybody knows it. Hang it up.

But let's get to a real issue: our own Nancy Pelosi is headlining the AIPAC conference next month.

Lobbyists for a foreign country that may (but of course, we don't know for sure because no one, certainly not H. Clinton or J. Edwards*, ever mentions it) have way too much influence in our Middle East foreign policy.

BTW I thought Pelosi was gonna do something about lobbyists and their influence in Washington. The conference is IN Washington, Nancy. You won't even hafta fly commercial.

I find last year's outrage over the Dubai port deal hilarious given that there is another country in the Middle East running our State Department. All Dubai wants to do is build malls and sell Calvin Klein to oil-rich trophy wives., speaking of trophy wives, Pammy Atlas and her AIPAC friends think the saber rattling re Iran is just grand.

Madam Speaker, you got some 'splaining to do.

*Gee, Hilary and John accepted an earlier invite to genuflect.

If we don't like war in the Middle East, oh nevermind. Just think about it.

Sunday, February 11

For my four year old...

...who has graduated from Jeff Wiggle to Paulo Nutini:

I have to give her credit. When I was her age, I loved a different Monkee each week. Paulo has a scottish brogue (you have competition Mr. Shakes) and he can actually sing.

Okay, I admit it! He is TOTALLY CUTE! But remember, BG only goes for the old guys. Paulo is a baby. But what a baby.

4yo, who clearly has not fallen far from the tree, says: "If he was my boyfriend, I would kiss him on the shoulder and the eyebrow."

Mmm-Kay, I'm not worried about her. Not one little bit.

Saturday, February 10

NOT a word from our sponsor...

But I did check out the "Barack Star" ad sitting on the sidebar (to make sure they were okay, as I can reject ads here at my whim) and this particular outfit gives you the opportunity to "vote" for their next shirt. In honor of former Dukakis staffer W. David Stephenson, I chose this one:

Click on the image, and then the "Vote Toast" button to cast your ballot. Dukakis is running a very close second at this writing to the George Washington "Redcoats are so over" shirt. I'd like a do-over on that '88 election, which would mean no Bush '41, thank you very much, but this is as good as we'll get.

BTW David Stephenson is an articulate and vehement opponent of this war and this administration. AND his son shipped off to Baghdad this past week. I'm praying for our troops, and for you, David. Keep the faith and keep blogging.

Friday, February 9

Don't Sugarcoat It Award for February 9

I know, it's not Boy Butter.
Please, I want to stay neutral
in the "taste versus viscosity" lube wars.

Two don't sugarcoat it awards in two days. The blogosphere must be doing something right.

Today's award goes to new discovery Cause for Concern, for his lovely post, "A Haggard Idea, the Haggard Cure." Here's a sample, but do go read the whole thing:

Rev. Ted Haggard has been cured of his homo-dirty-man-sex-(and-meth) thing.

...And the drag queen angels are line dancing to "I Will Survive" on the head of every pin in the world. And they're laughing.

Congratulations, Cause, and welcome to the party.

My weight loss plan for lent!

So I'm planning to give up sloth for lent, given that I don't have much problem with avarice and greed, and let's face it, lust and gluttony are my bestest friends.

But last night Blogenfreude asked me to join the team part-time at Agitprop, and I figured, hey! Maybe I can just stretch myself really thin. That'll work!


I will add more time to my schedule, too, as in the next 36 hours, I plan to be fired from the Dennis Kucinich Campaign. (Really, that piece I wrote at the Aristocrats is, as Cintra would say, "the tits." Go visit.)

Daily posting here. Every few days at 'Risties. Every once in a while at Agitprop. Blogenfreude, you do offer major medical, doncha?

Just don't tell Mr. Blue Gal.

Thursday, February 8

Don't Sugarcoat It Award for February 8

Today's Don't Sugarcoat It Award goes to my evil twin. She says everything that needs to be said about Michelle Malkin opening her piehole to blog about subversive knitting.

Want subversive knitting, Michelle? How 'bout a hand-knit condom cover? Knit one, purl one, ribbed for your pleasure. Eww.

"Sometimes I almost feel just like a human being."

UPDATE: Edwards is keeping them on. I don't like his pandering, but this is a victory.

found on Flickr and dedicated to certain John Edwards staff

That's the name of the post at Pandagon. I was thinking the same thing. Amanda and Melissa are human beings.

While people are blogswarming the Edwards thing, it might be helpful to remember that the legitimacy of Amanda and Melissa comes FROM THEIR BLOGS, not their campaign jobs. I love that only six short weeks ago Melissa did this interview. About her blog. Before any of this other stuff happened.

I love Shakes because of her blog. That a Presidential candidate recognized her worth is nice, but that says something about him. About her, we knew already. If Edwards allows Michelle Malkin and bigoted priest-rapist apologists determine his staff, well...

What James Boyce said:

Citizen journalists and citizen broadcasters have different rules, ethics and ways of fucking talking. Just ask John Edwards who is discovering that his bloggers blogged like bloggers. He should celebrate it, not condone their dismissal. He wanted a blogger, he got a blogger. End of story.

And you know what? I like our ethics, and our work relationships and our boundaries better. A lot better. In DC, you lie to someone's face as a matter of course. You actually will catch an old DC political operative in a direct lie and they don't care. I do. We do.

Never thought I'd quote Norman Mailer here but he said this past weekend on Studio 360, "politics forces you to shake hands with people you despise." Not in the blogosphere, Norman. Worry much about polarization? I don't. There is good in this world, and there is the Bush Administration and those who would continue their policies.

Memo to Edwards: With all due respect, you need us bloggers a LOT more than we need you. You can have our undying, virulent gratitude, energy, and dare I say it, support, or not.

Wednesday, February 7

Blue Gal's Post Number 666

Seems an appropriate celebration of pure evil:

Katherine Harris passing out her business card
at the 2007 State of The Union Address.

h/t Pam Spaulding at Pandagon, who has more on the Divine Miss H's recent activities.

Chris Bowers thinks I should just give up.

[Peace and love to the beautiful people coming here from Crooks and Liars. And a kiss, a peck, and a hug around the neck to Mike, too.]

The blogosphere is really maturing when this kind of a navel-gazing wankery is allowed to stand:

The days of the major, solo content generator, pundit blogger are all but over. ...Within the national blogosphere, the market dynamic has changed dramatically, and the entry barrier to the "top-tier" has become far more difficult to break through.

Really, Chris, I'd love to meet you for Glenlivet on the rocks at some penthouse hotel bar and hear about your blog's business model and your latest "blogger conference call" with Rahm Emmanuel. Furthermore, Brilliant at Breakfast, another blogger who, like me, would of course consider herself lucky to be sent down to the lobby gift shop for condoms so we could do a threesome with you in room 519 (but we understand we'll have to sleep in our own rooms after, as you've got an early flight back to the Beltway, natch) has more and better to say:

It's truly amazing to see one blogger fellating the entire Big Name Blogosphere in one post, while at the same time consigning the rest of us to the ranks of the MySpacers. ...Chris Bowers playing "Mine's Bigger" with the rest of the blogosphere, is this really what it's come to? Is this the Revenge of the Nerds come to fruition? Is this the guys who DIDN'T get laid on prom night finally staking their claim to coolness?

But seriously, Chris, since it obviously makes you hot, let me lay a few stats on you. With less than ten exceptions, I confine my blogroll to blogs with fewer than 70 RSS subscribers. I doubt any of them are getting paid for the privilege of sharing with me and the wider world their creativity, energy, intelligence, and wit. There are artists, there are artists who somehow make a living doing their art (sorry, I can't imagine John Amato writing that "Chris Bowers knows blog success!" business model bullshit), and there are sell-out wankers who want to color themselves important by channeling some Tony Robbins success seminar. I'm too busy doing my thang, and enjoying the writing and work of some very gifted individual bloggers, to worry about which category the big boys fall into.


Images from here. And no, Chris, I didn't pay for them. Thanks too to Blah3 and Jon Swift, with whom I "networked" on this post. Next time I'll order the appetizer, boys.

Tuesday, February 6

So I guess brunch with Obama is out.

As some of you may know, there's quite a tempest going on over Amanda Marcotte, one of the web babes for the Edwards campaign. The other one is Shakespeare's Sister (goddess) who has somehow been spared the attacks Amanda has had to face. I think the reason is, that anyone who goes after Shakes is gonna have their balls cut off with pinking shears and fed to them for lunch. By me. Shakes has a fierce, devoted following for a reason. She's a good. person.

I'm sorry, I don't know anything about Amanda Marcotte and do not read her blog, Pandagon, at least not on a regular basis. I may have read her once or twice through a link, but I don't remember.

Anyhow, in a very silly attack, Michelle Malkin read aloud from Marcotte's blog, including at least one F-bomb (sorry I couldn't bring myself to watch the whole thing; Malkin has pigtails in this one and a top designed to make her chest look bigger, which fails miserably) and posted it to youtube. Yep, you're right, Malkin almost makes Pammy look sane.

Other bloggers have pointed out that it's more than just the F-bombs that make Amanda Marcotte look bad. She apparently jumped on the Duke rape "hang'em high" bandwagon when she should not have jumped. (Memo to Amanda, take a page out of your candidate's playbook and say "I. Was. Wrong.") There's all kinds of intimations that Pandagon, the blog, is being retroactively edited to make it more suitable for Presidental Campaign consumption, but I don't believe that. Purging the fucks from any blog would just take too much time, and you'd always miss one. The one that Michelle Malkin would then read on youtube.

But all of this hits a little close to home, as I slowly abandon all hope of ever getting a high school teaching job here in Alabama, not because of my anonymous blog but because I refuse to coach girl's volleyball. This story makes me wonder if just because I used the F-word 49 times in one post (but COME ON, it was about David Broder) and alluded to, but never actually described, Michelle Malkin as a "demented cunt", does that preclude me from serving as a paid pol in a Presidential Campaign?

Well, to quote Shakes her own self, Fuckity-fuck-fuck.

The blogosphere, whether George Will likes it or not, is a place where what one wise blogger called "Bush-inspired Tourette's Syndrome" is permitted to flourish. There are places for the F word and places where such language rightly does not belong. I even post some things at The Aristocrats that I would not post here (like the Broder piece), because the post would not be appropriate here, and my fellow 'Risties lurve that kinda filth.

I wouldn't submit the David Broder F-word 49 times piece to The Washington Post. I would not allude to Michelle Malkin as a "demented cunt" on her cable TV show. Oh, well, yes I would, but it would get bleeped out, and people would have to click on an extra "objectionable content is okay by me" button to watch the unedited version on youtube. See?

A non-blogging for instance, now that Al Franken is running for the Senate, he lets David Letterman tell the Buddy Hackett penis jokes for him. Appropriate, Al. And good luck with your campaign. If you need a paid consultant on penis jokes, call me.


My one disappointment with all of this is that somehow this debate is assuming that mere blogging is less, oh, legitimate than working for a Presidential Candidate. Anyone who's gotten this far in this post knows, what I do here at Blue Gal, and what all us bloggers do, with or without swearing, is a legitimate, valid contribution to the political process. And if you don't think so, scroll over the white space below:

Break out the Astroglide and FUCK. MY. ASS.

Oh, I didn't mean you, Senator Brownback.

Monday, February 5

Something tells me he just made
Howard Dean's whole day.

And I hafta include this one:

"The American people basically fired George Bush in the last election," writes New York Times columnist Tom Friedman. "We're now just watching him clean out his desk."

For my friends and readers who are not parents.

I wrote this to a friend of mine and wanted to pass it on. Maybe someone else will find it resonates:

One thing I wanted to comment on is your love for children and regret that you've never had any.

I've said this many times to friends of mine who regret not having had children: the world has need for your parenting, and will NOT LET YOU have that feeling in your heart go unexpressed and unused. Keep your eyes open. This may sound too flaky spiritualistic, but I really do believe that the universe does not allow parental love to go wasted. Maybe you'll give money to UNICEF. Maybe you'll become a big brother or sister. Maybe, and this is very likely, some young person will really, really NEED you someday. Whatever happens, cherish that part of your heart that loves children and the universe will find a way for you to spend that love.

And a special comment to the men out there (yes, KO, you too): also remember that when our youngest child was born, Mr. Blue Gal was 63 1/2 (and delighted by the news). There's also Tony Randall, Clint Eastwood, Larry King, The Donald, etc. Old man, keep the condom on if you don't want kids. Just saying.

(Incidentally I'm not suggesting that everyone without kids regrets that decision. One thing you learn when you become a parent is that parenthood is NOT for everybody. As I said to one girlfriend, "No kids? You're just lucky, I guess." The friend to whom I wrote this did regret. And I know that love for kids will find a home. That's all.)

So, how's the weather where you are?


Not Birmingham, Alabama. Not even close. Blewett Pass (no, really), Washington State. Taken by Don.

I love what a friend up north said, "It's minus 2 here, but at least there's a breeze."

Stay warm, ma hunnies.

Day of Shame

Four years ago today:

The American media said he was "convincing." More at Day of Shame.

Oh, and the password today is "Russert."

Sunday, February 4

Intelligence is an aphrodisiac.


Which I why I suspect that the new, I'm sorry to say, Democratic, chairman of the House Intelligence Committee isn't getting any.

I mean, he seriously can't tell me what Hezbollah is? Which I found in this open letter.

And the whole Shia/Sunni thing is WAY over his head. Good thing we know who we're fighting over there, so we don't have to fight them, oh NEVERMIND.

I finally figured out why I hate America. It's because WE HAVE OUR COLLECTIVE HEAD UP OUR COLLECTIVE ASS.

(h/t Me Imperturbe)

Saturday, February 3

Dick Clark: Career Rescue

Neil Sedaka, eat your heart out.

cross-posted at The Aristocrats.

Don't Sugarcoat It Award for February 3

Today's Don't Sugarcoat It Award goes to the published author and new blogger Cintra Wilson for her lovely post, "Tucker Carlson: A Big Girl's Blouse of a Snivelling Priggot." I could put a blockquote here, but really, you must go read the whole thing. And leave a comment that Blue Gal sentcha.

And gee, that post leads me to believe that Cintra won't have that Tucker Carlson Widget on her site. Dear MSNBC: That "feature" ranks right up there with the "freshness date" on canned Budweiser, in my opinion.

As I've said many times, Blue Gal's blogroll just can't have enough smart funny women on it. Welcome to the party, Cintra.

A nice spank with the velvet rope, which he prefers to the hat tip, to Doug.

Friday, February 2

Yet another awards show.

Just want to give a shout out to the Best of Blogs award. If your blog gets less than one hundred unique visitors per day, get someone to nominate you (you apparently can't nominate yourself).

Blue Gal, the blog, due to a very recent upsurge in popularity, just barely does not qualify. Thanks anyway.

The Boston Hoax and what it's really about.

By now most of us have heard about the Boston Hoax and how a silly cartoon character guerrilla marketing "botched joke" (ahem) fooled the city of Boston into believing bombs were being attached to bridges around the city.

The "controversy" is also being protrayed as a generational battle, between those bloggers who instantly recognized the Aqua Teen Hunger Force character and the totally out-of-it fuddy duddies who got scared by a guerrila marketing campaign. Dude, you are so out of it.

What is not being discussed to my satisfaction is this entire culture's divine right to be marketed to. The trend I hate most is the total acceptance on the part of people in our society that marketing everywhere is okay. It isn't. It's called mental pollution. Not to mention that these marketers left electric items unattended on the street. That's just plain old street pollution. I hope I don't sound like Cheney by asking if someone on the West Bank or Baghdad would have considered this marketing ploy a good idea.

I knew I'd reached total saturation when I saw that the paper on which my son's school menu is printed was provided by cartoon advertisers. It's folded so that the ads are on the outside you open to see more ads, then open again to find out what the public school cafeteria is serving for lunch. On topic, The Center for Commercial-Free Public Education exists to fight this mumbo-jumbo.

It's ironic that the same dudes who think Boston overreacted also think the War on Christmas is cool. Somehow Exxon/Mobil and Wal-Mart are bad corporations, but Cartoon Network? There's no way I could be pwned by a cartoon, man:

Cartoon Network? This is mutherfukkin TIME WARNER we're talking about, people. Corporate Media ownership. And you're blogging for them? Pwned indeed.

I've shown it before but I think today would also be a good day to have Cake's Comfort Eagle playing in your head. I like that this particular version uses video game/cartoon style characters to make the point.

And there's more at

Before you think I'm a total hypocrite, I know, I know. I'm getting ready to accept limited advertising here at BG. I joined Liberal Prose because I know them, and because I have complete control over which ads appear here. And I haven't accepted one yet. It'll be a cold day in hell before there's a "you have won a free laptop" pop-up over here, that much I can promise.


Thursday, February 1


UPDATE: When I wrote this post I had not seen this one. Do read all the comments, too. To quote Emily Litella: "Nevermind." (major H/t to Blogenfreude. Thanks, honey.)

I'm not sure I'll even publish this post but it's on my mind so I'm typing it up.

I've been writing a lot lately about Pammy at Atlashrugs and actually reading her blog which I've just got to stop. It's like a car wreck. But I came across this photo of her and I just can't erase it from my brain.

It's got me thinking about conservatism, liberalism, gender, sex, all the things I already blog about.

I am a liberal, and I definitely agree with the C&L commenter who paraphrased Colbert: "Sexual pleasure has a well-known liberal bias." This blog is no stranger to anal sex jokes, and you could tell me one right now and I'd laugh my butt off, no pun intended.

By the way, on another C&L thread we've determined that that snot that comes out of your butt when you sneeze and fart at the same time? It will henceforth be known as "JudyMiller," not to be confused with "Santorum." Pass it on.

But seriously, folks, I'm a liberal gal, and you know I be lovin' the panties, but no woman is wearing the panties on my blog. It's a line I draw here, and it's a conservative line. I wouldn't let my breasts hang out like that, either, out of a sense of decorum, and what is attractive and what is decidedly not the pretty way to display my, um, bodacious rack. I mean, yeah, you could probably put two Pammies on the scale to balance one Blue Gal too. She's got a gym with two TV's in her house, and I don't have one TV or a home gym or her pecs, either. I would not trade my spelling skills for her pecs, though.

Some might say I don't dress like that because I'm a feminist. That's not it, either, though I trust "self-respect" has some play here.

She's actually quite pretty, isn't she? But I think that dress is a challenge to womanhood, and I'm sitting here asking myself if I feel threatened by it, and I'm not sure I like my answer. Still thinking about this. Comments appreciated.

Four true, one false, thing about me.

1. Famous Knitter Meg Swanson has posed for a picture wearing a sweater I knit. The picture is hanging on my refrigerator.

True. I went to her knitter's camp in 2003. I wore a sweater knit in one of her yarns, she tried it on, I burst out crying. I was pregnant with number 3 at the time, so that's my excuse for the tears, but really it was Meg wearing a sweater I knit with my own two hands. I could die.

2. During senior year in college I had breakfast several times with former Presidential candidate John Anderson, usually just the two of us.

True. He was a visiting professor at Brandeis and ate breakfast in the cafeteria. I was one of the only students on campus with the wherewithal and guts to approach him and ask to join him. He was one of the first people on the planet to find out I had gotten into Harvard Graduate School, too. Nice, smart guy, and one of the best breakfast partners I've ever had (ahem).

3. During freshman year in college I watched Qwerty fall backwards into a snowbank. At one point I also danced with him while I hummed "A Pretty Girl is Like a Melody."

True. Qwerty and I went to Brandeis together. He had such a mop of hair in Winter '81, I can't tell you. We've been friends for over 25 years? Jeebus. He's also the only housemate I ever had, male or female, who mopped the kitchen floor because he noticed it was dirty. (Fellow Cancerian, natch.)

4. I met Mr and Mrs. John Kerry at a Democratic soiree in Pittsburgh three years before he announced his candidacy for President. Theresa Heinz Kerry told me my hair was "really nice."

Nope. Never met either of them, though my parents do live in Pittsburgh. I do have nice hair, but Theresa doesn't know it.

5. I didn't drive a car or even have a license until I was 32. Some "things" I didn't do until I was 26. But driving a car was 32.

Knitting at 18. Car at 32. Let the record show.