Friday, March 31

I'm gonna come right out and say it...

A warm welcome to Crooks and Liars readers. You can get the full-frontal Blue Gal here.


I've posted this comment all over the blogosphere today, so I just wanted to say it on my own blog.

I think Jonah Goldberg and all the Bushco apologists have reason to be afraid of Jill Carroll. These guys are terrified because as soon as she’s “recovered” she’s gonna be a well-spoken telegenic Cindy Sheehan* who has serious media cred because she is a journalist herself. Jill will have no problem whatsoever speaking in soundbites, in favor of the Iraqi people just as she did before she was kidnapped. The Monitor website has her past articles, and they are pro-Iraqi’s as human beings, thank you very much. The preemptive strikes from the bottom dwellers of the right are disgusting, but to be expected.

*no offense to Cindy.

Another blogger*** wrote me,

(Deep, menacing voice) In a world of wingnuts...

...only one woman saw it coming...

And she looks just like Angelina Jolie...

***Jurassic Pork says I can tell you it was him.

And now....something for the laaaadies!

(The edible jockstrap photo will be posted after work.) Here ya go:


A recent addition to the Blue Gal blogroll, Real Mother's Revenge, asks a great question:

If there were such a thing as a fantasy camp for mothers, what would your camp include? (I'm paraphrasing.)

While I love her idea of Dr. Phil telling the world that my butt is NOT too big, I actually kinda get my own fantasy camp at Madrona Fiber Arts each winter. AL, Akabini, booze, yarn, my own hotel room. There is not much more I could ask for. Oh, and akabini is always good for telling me my butt is NOT too big.

Go over to Real Mother's Revenge and visit, bookmark, etc. I'll check in to see what you say. Boys, should I invite you too, so you can add your own fantasy camp ideas? Nah. We got plenty of that with your edible panty orders a couple days ago.

Happy birthday to the late Cesar Chavez. It's been quite a week for your constituency, amigo.

Update: Oh, man! It's Al Gore's birthday too. Cheers, doll.

And how nice that I can say have a nice weekend without asking all of you to pray for Jill Carroll. Of course, she and I both want you to pray for all the other captives, Iraqi and otherwise. We can do nothing less. The Christian Science Monitor is publishing some great letters of celebration from around the world. I especially liked this one:

What thrilling gratitude and joy I have for Jill's release. Now I ask myself, "How can I convert the energy of this joy into positive efforts to correct the tragic mistakes that led to this war and injustice?"

Bill Kilgour, Madison, Wis., USA

Thursday, March 30

An unplanned bloggity blog roundup

This is totally unplanned. I am working today, sitting in an empty room with nothing to do and getting paid for it. No I do not work for GM. I have internet access, but my web-based email is blocked, as well as access to flikr, so no panties today, sorry.

But I can still read Figleaf if I want to, not to mention order a dvd of Fired Up Naughty Catholic Schoolgirls Volume Seven. Go figure.

So I'm using the time to good effect by catching up on the blogosphere. If you are similarly time blessed here's some places to visit:

Anne Lamott is calling for a revolution. Pencil it in. July 14. And look at the damn ad in order to read the whole article. It won't kill you. (hat tip: Big Monkey, Helpy Chalk)

Yes, we all heart Madeline Albright. After all, she's a knitter. (courtesy of Hitched to Everything).

Homo Insapiens helps Rummy and Karen Hughes with their agitprop. Only his writing is better.

The next don't sugarcoat it award goes to ITMFA. What a lovely idea, and just in time for spring!

You can own the original cartoon with Bill Napoli's personal phone numbers on it.

Bibliophiles, this is cool. I'll have a random book from my bookshelf widget on the sidebar later today. Done, check it out. Douglas, you're gonna love it, you're gonna pimp it. (another hat tip to Big Monkey, Helpy Chalk)

Did I say no panties today? Oops.

Jill Carroll - Something We Can Do

Thank God.

The anti-war song meme

Crotchless panties with a music chip.
If they make 'em with 80's protest rock, I'm sold.

First up, let me thank Loretta Nall (for governor), Bitter Old Punk, who seems none of the three in person, and Steven Gordon for a great lunch yesterday. I really had fun. Meet with other bloggers face to face whenever you can, people. It's so worth it.

There's a meme going around about pick your favorite anti-war song and give a bit of the lyrics. Since I've had Billy Bragg on the brain (and in the minivan) all week:

Help save the youth of America
Help save the youth of the world
Help save the boys in uniform
Their mothers and their faithful girls

Listen to the voice of the soldier
Down in the killing zone
Talking about the cost of living
And the price of bringing him home

They're already shipping the body bags
Down by the Rio Grande
But you can fight for democracy at home
And not in some foreign land...

And don't forget to download Billy's Bush War Blues for free here.

PS. Wit List has a parody of Jabberwocky that absolutely rocks. Go visit.

Wednesday, March 29

Taking a break for a medical post

Sorry, even Blue Gal has her limits. There is no way I am posting this image to my blog. Go get it.

Douglas has an open meme up about telling a medical story, so here goes. This story has two parts:

One of my worst faults, I hate to admit it, is that I can be very insensitive. May be borderline Asperger's, 'cause I can't flirt for real, but whatever. Anyway, I was seeing my infertility doc who put me on some Prozac to counter the mood swings associated with Clomid (yep, take one pill to counteract the problems with the first pill. Don't get me started.) I made a joke about happy pills, to her face. She gave a pained look, just for a moment, and I realized, oh God, she takes the happy pills herself. And she has had her own battle with infertility, which is one reason her practice is so committed and successful. Shit.

Fast forward a couple years and my second kid, conceived without "help." My first child was diagnosed with high functioning autism in May of 2002, and my daughter was born in July. The stress of both events lead to the worst depression I have ever, ever, had. On my 39th birthday a couple weeks later, my dad called me to wish me happy birthday, and I just sobbed into the phone, "this is the worst birthday of my entire life." He made me promise to talk to my doctor about depression. So I promised.

The next morning baby 2 had a pediatrician appointment. I'm sitting there morbidly depressed listening to him tell me the baby is fine and gaining weight normally and I hate to say this but I just did not give a shit at that moment about my baby, at all. Nursing her, knowing that my body was keeping her alive, was the only thing keeping me alive at that time. That's an important point, because often post partum moms retreat from their babies and the babies lose weight or worse, moms in really bad cases actually do harm to their babies. The fact that my husband made me promise I wouldn't kill myself was the other reason I was still alive. Yeah, it had gotten that bad. Anyhow, the pediatrician noticed something was wrong and that probably had something to do with the fact that I was crying? I sat there and remembered my dad had made me promise to talk to my doctor, and I said to myself, oh whatever, here is a doctor. So I told pediatrician I was depressed, as if he could not see that.

First thing pediatrician did was make me promise I would call my ob/gyn today and talk to her about this. Then pediatrician started asking me questions and after the third or fourth question I remember saying to myself, "This man is screening me for suicide. Oh, who cares." So when he was done asking me these questions, he gave me my baby and said he'd be right back and he stepped out in the hallway and called my ob/gyn himself. I must not have given the right answers.

So I saw her that afternoon and she gave me sample Prozac right there in the office. It was like someone turned on a light. I was better, almost right away, and I only needed it for six weeks or so. I went on it has a preventative measure when baby 3 came along and that went fine (by that time my son was 6 and doing really well and Mom was over the shock of his situation).

The lesson here is to tell people when you feel depressed and get help. I am grateful to all those MEN making me make them promises too. Pediatrician may have saved my life.

Tuesday, March 28

Don't Sugarcoat It Award for March 28

"Don't eat that, you don't know where it's been!"

The most recent Don't Sugarcoat It award goes to the all-too-appropriately named Sandy Underpants at the Aristocrats, for this lovely post that explains with great aplomb the Justice Department's legal justification for their domestic spying program. Do read the whole post (and bookmark the site for future funny) but you could sum it up in the following nine words:

"Whatever the fuck we want to do is legal."

Eat my candy panties, Alberto.

And thanks, Sandy Underpants and Aristocrats. You're winners.

[PS. If you want a longer, more serious approach to just how far the fascists are taking things, you can do no better than this post by W. David Stephenson. Bush hasn't cast a veto, ever, because he doesn't think he has to obey anything he signs, as long as he accompanies it with a "signing statement" which says just how he interprets the law he is signing. Patrick Leahy is all over this. Scary stuff.]

Monday, March 27

More fuel for commie mommys...

click on it to order, kids

My drive back from Gainesville was fueled by Citgo Gas, bad coffee (I guess having politically correct gas stations sell politically incorrect coffee is counterindicated), and, God bless 'em, Billy Bragg. Billy was on Studio 360 yesterday, and you can listen to the show this week only here.

And how 'bout downloading Bush War Blues for free? Spread the word, ma hunnies.

Had a nice visit with Aunt and Uncle, who love my kids in spite of the fact that their mommy is a commie. We don't talk politics, and that's sometimes a Good Thing, lefty bloggers.

So I open up the NYFT Book Review from yesterday and there's this quote from "Take It Back: Our Party, Our Country, Our Future" by James Carville and Paul Begala:

"The pro-choice movement has lost the debate over late-term abortion," they write. "You may like it, you may not, but it's real. And it's settled. Pro-choice Democrats should deal with that reality and stop losing elections over an issue they've already lost."

Granted. But my hope is that we're entering an age, please God, within the next decade, where the pro-life wingnuts will have to admit the same thing about Roe. Let's hack off the extremists on both sides of this issue and get real.

Once again, Loretta Nall is shaking things up over this one here in Alabama. Go, girl. And here's hoping our State Senator Hank Irwin, who wants to make sure Alabama is just as family friendly as South Dakota? is the next target for a Smart Bitches Google Bomb, or mebbe an Asshat award from Jurassic.

Friday, March 24

Cause for rejoicing!!!


The staff of Sojourners rejoices at the news that Jim Loney, Harmeet Sooden, and Norman Kember - members of Christian Peacemaker Teams who have been held captive in Iraq for nearly four months - have been released today.

We also now enter fully into our grief for fourth team member Tom Fox, who was found dead near Baghdad on March 10.

As we celebrate the release of our brothers and pray for their return to health and life, we pledge to continue working on behalf of the unnamed tens of thousands of Iraqi dead, disappeared, detained, and tortured. Christ is present in their suffering (Matthew 25).

- The Editors

Jill, we've got our lamps lit, and we love you.

Thursday, March 23

Blue Gal on hiatus until Monday

Gonna be gone for a few days folks. Stay well, pray for Jill Carroll (how about a little prayer RIGHT NOW?) and have a nice weekend.

Question: Does God hear when an anonymous blogger asks a bunch of quasi-agnostic liberal blogospherians to pray?

Answer: You bet your ass She does. God is love, and we are soaking in it. Get busy.

from the always wonderful Toothpaste for Dinner.

Wednesday, March 22

Pigs do fly


'cause I'm actually doing a meme on my own without getting tagged by anybody. Could the election of a progressive Democratic Congress be far behind? Dare to dream!

Got this one from Don't Floss with Tinsel, btw.

Look up the following items on Google Image Search and choose one from the first page of results.

1. Town and State where you grew up.


2. Town and State where you live now.


As in more sprawl, more traffic, more big ass Baptist politics. Sigh.

3. First and/or Last Name


Best Friends Outing No Boys? The story of my life.

4. Your grandmother's name


(Granny was a saint, but not a nun)

5. Favorite food


6. Favorite drink


Please note: this is also the official drink of Madrona 2007. You have been warned.

7. Favorite smell (or scent?)


It's called Boucheron. Nobody ever accused Blue Gal of cheap taste in perfume.

Pick it up if you want, leave a note in comments if you do.

Tuesday, March 21

Don't Sugarcoat It Award for March 21


Today's Don't Sugarcoat It Award goes to Sappho Manifesto. If you read Blue Gal, you probably have her blogrolled, or else. But this post, with its well-timed and elegant bitch slap, is deserving of praise, accolades, and notice. Sappho makes the long overdue observation about our President:

Somebody needs to pull this boy's head outta his ass!

Thank you for sharing, Sappho.

BTW I suspect Russ Feingold is considering changing his last name to Goddammit after so many of us liberal bloggers have posted "Why won't the rest of the Senate get behind Russ Feingold Goddammit!"

Goddammit, Russ, we love you.

Monday, March 20

Huh. You have to ask?


I got it from Bride Of Acheron, who got it from, and so on, and so on...

And today, 100% of the searches on Yahoo that wound up at this blog were for "panties." Like Katherine Harris, we at Blue Gal ARE making a difference.

Today is the anniversary of the
founding of the Republican Party

from Writer's Almanac:

It was on this day in 1854 that the Republican Party was founded. The name "Republican" was first used many years before by Thomas Jefferson's political party, the Democratic Republican Party. That name was shortened to the Democratic Party, which is what we call it today. The present-day Republican Party was formed by opponents of the Kansas-Nebraska Act of 1854, and by members of other parties, like the Democratic and Whig parties, who disagreed with their parties' positions on slavery. By 1855 the Republican Party was thriving in the North, while it had almost no following in the South. The Republican Party's first candidate for president of the United States was Abraham Lincoln, who was elected in 1860.


Panties in the News -- Alabama Edition

No link to order. Sorry, Katherine Harris.

{Love and welcome to C&L readers.}

This is such a great story. Bear with me.

Alabama columnist Bob Ingram recently mentioned third party gubernatorial candidate Loretta Nall. From her campaign website:

"Mrs. Nall, who casts herself as a Libertarian-leaning populist, is seeking the Libertarian Party nomination for Governor in 2006. [S]he says...her election platform...reflects traditional Alabama values.

Some of the topics Nall plans to address include drug policy and prison reform, repealing gun control laws, tax credits for private & home school families, non-compliance with the Patriot and REAL ID Acts, the Iraq War and Alabama sovereignty over the state militia, states rights, separation of state and church, fair taxes, gambling, ballot access reform, ballot initiative and referendum and bio-diesel.

Apart from the tax credits for home schoolers, Loretta Nall's platform is as far from "traditional Alabama values" as you can get. "Traditional Alabama values" are wrapped up by former Chief Justice Roy Moore, the Ten Commandments Judge. Yeah, Nall is running against him.

Anyhow, the Ingram column in one paper ran this pic of Nall:


So Ingram opens this paper to read his own column and is appalled by the photo showing Nall in possession of what can best be called "breasts." Ingram fired back in his next column:

"In 55 years of political writing, that was a first for me—-a picture in my column of a woman displaying cleavage. I can only hope that my mother...and I know for a fact where she ended in the after life...didn’t see that column. She wouldn’t have approved of that picture."

Oh, and if you're curious, here's a picture of Ingram:



So while Ingram is certain of where his mom went after she died, Nall says she is certain that before she died, Ingram's mom had cleavage. Anyhoo, Nall had a field day with this whole thing in her blog, "US Marijuana Party."

She sent a letter to Ingram and his editor (the one who picked that lovely photo). You can read the entire letter here, well worth it:

"Now that you and the rest of Alabama have been introduced to the twins perhaps you would like to meet the rest of me. I'll don my burka so y'all won't be offended and then perhaps we can discuss the other planks in my platform since you only covered one."

I love this gal. She's one of us. Definitely.

And before you think that Loretta is simply a southern version of Mary Carey, she isn't. I'm really impressed how she handled this columnist. She got him on the phone, explained her platform, got him to agree that she is more than a one-issue candidate and that he would contact her directly if he ever wrote about her again.

Even Reichminister Karl could not have done better than that.

Oh. But I have not let you in on the best part. Ever. Loretta Nall is the only candidate for Governor in Alabama who publicly admits that she does not wear panties.

Her brother is in prison for alcohol related offenses and she was not allowed to visit him because in spite of wearing pants, she was not wearing panties underneath. Going commando is apparently enough in Alabama to get you kicked outta prison. Hallelujah!

Damn. I'm sending her campaign five bucks. You can too.

Loretta Nall for Governor Campaign
4633 Pearson Chapel Rd
Alexander City, AL 35010-8211

Major league hat tip to Doctor IQ for the story...

Memo to those visiting from Crooks and Liars: Remember that here at Blue Gal, we're all about the panties. (Would it kill you to leave a comment?)

Sunday, March 19

So you loved the Bjork Oscar dress, huh?

Oh, go knit the matching purse. I'll wait.

Captain Dyke
gave me a Blue Angelina for my blog. Well, Captain Dyke's not really a Captain, ya know. She's a goddess.

This is good, 'cause I really look more like Angelina than that blonde wench I had up there before. You're gonna think that's terribly vain, comparing myself with Angelina (hottest soul mama on the planet), but you won't when I tell you what happened when I bumped into Brad Pitt the other day at Chick-fil-a. He looked down at me and said "God Angie, howdya get so fat so fast?"

"It's that Bridget Jones milkshake diet darling. I'm bulking out for Raging Bull II." Then I kicked him in the balls. Hard. It was a good day.

BTW I love the blogger who called Lucky Charms the official cereal of spring break. I've got Trix all over my floor, and that's not a sex blog thang.

By the way of proving my feminista credentials, I hereby dub my husband Mr. Blue Gal. He shall be so named in this blog from now on. Mr. Blue Gal is on his way to Italy to fulfill a lifelong dream of seeing La Scala. My present is, I don't have to go. Trans-Atlantic travel totally wipes me out.

This week in Blue Gal: the Alabama angle on panties, or lack thereof (you're gonna love it).

Made you laugh! click it to order one.

Friday, March 17

Prayer for Jill Carroll and others this weekend



Teach us, good Lord, to serve you as you deserve:
to give, and not to count the cost,
to fight, and not to heed the wounds,
to toil, and not to seek for rest,
to labour, and not to ask for any reward,
except that of knowing that we do your will.

[Tom Fox did.]
Ignatius of Loyola, soldier and founder of the Jesuits (1491-1556)

No offense intended to the family and friends of Natalie Holloway. I'm just ticked that a cute blonde vacationer gets more attention from F-word News than people who actually want to try to make a difference in a part of the world that thanks to our government, has become hell on earth.

Here's what my dear friend Hedgehog has to say, in an earlier comment to this blog:

Let's pray and send good wishes to all the captives in harm's way. Jill Carroll, Norman Kember, Harmeet Sooden, and James Loney.

Norman Kember's family feels that he will be the next to be killed because he is British. He is 74 years old. He has been abused, as the videos show. He is barely able to stand up straight.

Also, please send your good thoughts to the three women Peacemakers who have refused to leave Iraq, despite immense pressure from the US to do so.

They live among the Iraqis, despite the attempts of the US to force them into "secure" areas and monitor their movements.

They explain that they do not want to die or be taken hostage or die, but they will stay as long as their presence is "more help than harm."

They ask that their pictures not be printed, for reasons of security. Other than that they depend on the trust they have established with the Iraqis to protect them. They do not believe in violence.

They are Anita David age 60, Maxine Nash age 43, and Peggy Gish age 63.

Please keep them in your thoughts. Now that Iraq has descended into chaos we need Peacekeepers more than ever.

[and from her blog] ...please stay away from Fox News. They are poison. They lie. They seek out the worst possible parts of the human heart and cater to them, as Bush does. Don’t torture yourself by eating the poison of their lies.

Tom Fox’s life embodied the teachings of Christ. The kindness, the humility, the love of the helpless and the healing of the spirits of those less able to help themselves. He was a very good man. The people whose lives he touched will never forget him.


Technorati tag: blogjill

Thursday, March 16

A blog has moved...

angelina in St. John

The blog formerly known as Mound of Blue Dykes is now Captain Dyke. Glad I asked. Readers, she's worth a visit and a bookmark.

Smack Downs of the Week


Stolen from Bring It On:

On Wednesday, March 1st, 2006, in Annapolis at a hearing on the proposed Constitutional Amendment to prohibit gay marriage, Jamie Raskin, professor of law at American University, was requested to testify.

At the end of his testimony, Republican Senator Nancy Jacobs said: “Mr. Raskin, my Bible says marriage is only between a man and a woman. What do you have to say about that?”

Raskin replied: "Senator, when you took your oath of office, you placed your hand on the Bible and swore to uphold the Constitution. You did not place your hand on the Constitution and swear to uphold the Bible."

The room erupted into applause.

And then there's Molly Ivins. Finally, someone says it. For months now, in other blog comments, I've pointed out that Hilary's problem is, people hate her. No more sugarcoating. I hate her. Why isn't she for censure? If Blue Gal can grow some, so can she, except that it's all about her, innit? And it's too late now, honey.

Wednesday, March 15

Club Lefty is getting married!

Send him some congratulations here.

Safe for work? Congratulations, you are fired.

yeah, but do they make a diabetic version?

There's a lot of source material on the internet on the subject of sex. Have you noticed? And if you think Blue Gal is obscene, well, you haven't googled enough panties yet. From "Dirty Debutantes Volume 66"** to the reference in the popular press of Joe Lieberman as a "Democrat," we are living in obscene times.

This photo montage asks, and answers, "Why does Bush act so macho?"

Figleaf has his own primer on The Most Important Discovery Man Can Make.

But hey, some of my readers are too old-fashioned for Figleaf. I understand. This will take you back to fonder, more innocent days, I promise.

But if Figleaf is too tame for you, go over to One Good Move for one of the funniest dirty European commercials I've ever seen.

Finally an excellent, must-read post on self-esteem for women by the latest addition to the sidebar, Granny Gets a Vibrator. Granny, you rock.

**Oh look it up your own self. Lazy pervert.

Tuesday, March 14

Panties in the News!!!

Proof that Russ Feingold did get Republican panties in a wad yesterday.
Who threw in the purple bra? Leave your theories in comments, folks.

Oh the humanity, PETA is at it again: SFGate's Crotchless Panties of Doom...

And in a related story, someone stole all the Victoria's Secret panties in Westlake, Ohio. I hold PETA responsible.

'Course, by now you know that Victoria's real Secret is she's a Republican.

This image found at the Mound of Blue Dykes, a blog that recently lost all its content. Hope you're back soon, babes.

A hat tip toYoga Korunta for the Ohio story.

Monday, March 13

Art and chaos day at Blue Gal

from the flickr set of Stunted Growth,
one of the more gifted professional photographers
over there. Click on the image to see more.

Sometimes we just need to take a break* and look at some art.

It was a big arty farty weekend in New. York. City., what with the Armory Show and the Whitney Biennial. The curators of the Whitney show managed just in their preface alone to use the terms "geographical fluidity," "osmosis," "obfuscation," and "monkish ascetic" all while talking about an artist who put a real urinal in a museum and called it "art." (I really love Duchamp. Honest. But he would be the first to laugh at the curators, doncha think?)

Blue Gal could take the time to say something "important" about those who think they can say something "important" about art, but she would much rather let Penn Jillette lip synch it for her, even though it takes a moment to download.

To read the NYFT (not to be confused with STFU) you would think it was just William Wegman weekend. Good choice, if you ask me. Took some lookin', but Wegman himself is far more generous with web images than the galleries themselves, so go to the source, people. And be sure to check out the very funny quicktime movies here.

More panties than you can handle later this week, ma hunnies.

*Yeah, I know, Blue Gal's taken a long break from politics but she's sick of it. And the real campaigning hasn't even started yet.

Friday, March 10

Jill Carroll. Again.

Link: Bloggers distribute 'net video calling for Jill Carroll's release

Don't sugarcoat it award first, to Stephen Benson who left this lovely comment over at jurassicpork:

ok jp, hell, i even stifled my gag reflex, wrote the bastard in the white house and didn't even cuss him for the pinhead cocksucking shitstain cowardly fratboy drunk ass turd that he is. same goes for condi. in my little missive to the dickface in chief i pointed out that the negotiating with terrorists lie won't work because he's already made enough blunders in iraq that one more just won't matter. keep the faith as adam clayton powell used to say.

Yeah, I know I want to keep the atmosphere surrounding Jill Carroll pure. I'm just getting a little pissed that this is taking so long and that msm is happy to rehash the kidnapping of a pretty blonde vacationer in Haiti but leaves this one alone 'cause there's no new video.

The liberal blogospherians (I was inspired by Walnut) who care are adding Jill to their sidebars this weekend. Until she is released. If you need help doing this, leave a comment below and I will help you. Bloggers, you are the best, and you have just run out of excuses.

Jill is much more deserving to be the darling of the liberal blogosphere than Chuck Pennachio or Paul Hackett. We are actually unworthy of her. Pray, write, post.

And Jill, when you're out and able to read this, we loved you then and love you now. Keep the faith and keep believing in the Iraqi people.

Update: I can't put the code in as text or it will just bring up the picture, but the code looks like this. Type this into your sidebar.

jill code

God is NOT dead, I just bought His condo!

crucifixion real estate

News item: Thirty-Second Street Baptist Church in the Lakeview area of Birmingham, Alabama is being converted into upscale condominiums starting in the $200's.

Christy Holz, a realtor/developer on the project, says, “If this becomes your home, you can fall asleep in church and not feel guilty.” In fact, each loft will become a “Room with a Pew” as each owner will receive a church pew salvaged before demolition.

Christy honey, if you read this blog regularly, you'd know I don't offend easily. But then you open your ad for this church/condo conversion with, "Want to witness a second coming?" Well, no, but there's a real estate agent I sure would like to see nailed to a tree.

And just in case you think this whole thing is quirky, a Google search of "church converted into condos" yields, oh, 860,000 hits. And those church burning college kids thought they were being funny.

Thursday, March 9

Equal Opportunity Panties Day

no comment.

If I could trade blogs with anybody, I'd be really proud to call Rising Hegemon my own. They've got the whole "lefties need to lighten up without ever being light on the evildoers" down to a science.

To wit:

Their Flying Numb post is best of show.

If they didn't have so many good posts to choose from, this one would win a don't sugarcoat it award.

And just in case you think he's just another funny face, the post "Republican Party and Personal Responsibility" is better than most of the stuff thrown up on Daily Kos.

Attaturk's modest goal is ten million unique hits before March 18th. Let it not be said that Blue Gal did not do her part. xoxoxo

Wednesday, March 8

Tricks of the trade


There are a couple of blogging tricks I've learned in the past few months that might be helpful to you. And if you know something you think we don't know, post it in comments, okay? Would it kill you to comment, huh? Would it? Punk?

1. When I blog on a specific subject, I often go to Google Blog Search and see who else is blogging on the same topic. Then I LEAVE A COMMENT (do you see a trend here?) letting the other blogger know I'm thinking about the same thing. You meet a lot of nice people that way.

If you forget how to find Google Blog Search, just go to the Google website and click "more..." above the search bar. It's on the big list that follows.

2. For formatting blog posts, if I wanna do something special, I usually google "HTML cheat". There are a lot of very well-written html cheat sheets on the web. Googling cheat in addition to html will get you there faster.

3. If the cheat sheet does not have what I'm looking for, I just look around other blogs, then steal their code. They never know. Code stealing is actually an accepted practice on the web and you will not be arrested, I promise.

Find the blog or webpage that is doing what you want to do. From Firefox (and probably other browsers too) click on the view menu and go down to "page source". This will bring up a new window showing you the html for that page. You may have to scroll around to find what you want, but don't worry, you are not able to edit their html unless you are a nasty hacker and I don't know how to do that. All you do is highlight the html you want, right click, select "copy", go to your own edit page, right click and select paste. Again, you will make mistakes. Keep previewing your page until you like it.

4. If you want to Google bomb somebody today, let it be Congressman Bill Napoli.

If you have some better blogging ideas, leave them in comments. Thanks.

Tuesday, March 7

Doo Wah Didion

I remember writing a short story, never finished, which began:

Her immediate thought upon hearing that her husband was dead: "I think I have a book about that."

I've been reading that book this week.

Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking is a memoir of bereavement: Didion lost both her husband, the writer John Gregory Dunne, and her daughter, Quintana, within the same awful year. Her daughter’s death occurred after the book was finished, but her hospitalization and severe illness is covered here with all the anguish and worry any parent would feel, especially in light of the sudden unexpected death of the other parent.

This is not exactly monthly book club stuff, though I suppose there will be group sales to bereavement support groups the world over. For Didion is writing here not a mere catalog of her own grief, but the universality of her experience as documented by observers from the medical community to Emily Post. (Emily seems the most aware and astute of the observers; her advice on how to deal with bereavement the most practical and correct.)

It is clear that Didion is devastated by the loss of her husband, and far be it from me to argue with her grief or her extremely lucid and frank account of it. But Joan Didion is more than a grieving widow, she is Joan Didion, a New York erudite somebody, and how that somebody-ness permeates this book is truly distracting.

Her literary agent (who is her husband’s agent too) comes over the night of the death to help. This agent’s help is to call the New York Times obituary writer personally to let him know what has happened. Joan then has the presence of mind to realize that, of course, the LA Times should be called, too: God forbid they should find out Dunne has died from reading it in the NYT.

Memories fill this book: house hunting in Honolulu and deciding that owning would not be the same as hoteling...posing on the back deck of the house in Malibu with John and Quintana for People Magazine...thinking back on poems they both liked, including one composed by Earl McGrath on the occasion of their fifth anniversary.

It occurs to me that this writerly glamour may be just what a book like this needs in order to be palatable. Any reader could hardly stand a book on this subject poorly written and by a person unable to afford the casket. Perhaps these distractions allow us to be a part of Didion's experience, even as she feels nothing but loss and misery. Yet our sympathy for Didion is hampered by the cushion of her physically and intellectually plush surroundings. She seems to take for granted not only her economic privilege, but more importantly the companionship of her own fine mind.

Nevertheless, when this awful day happens for me, when I lose my husband (and as he his 23 years my senior the likelihood that he will go first is great) I hope I will remember that “I have a good book about this.” Didion’s memoir is as intelligent and honest a guide to my own sorrow and healing as I can hope to have.

Sunday, March 5

Love and welcome to Crooks and Liars readers


Hi kids, and welcome. For the next few days, I'm turning off the anonymous comments ban so new readers don't have to register to comment.

Mike at Mike's Blog Roundup is about the most wonderful there is.

Stay a spell, then be sure to vote for C&L at the Koufax awards.

2+2=5, or, If You're Katie O'Bierne, Pick A Number...


Overheard on Hardball, hat tip Busy Busy Busy:

O'Beirne: I'll tell you this. Among the president's staunchest supports, the 36 or pick a number, 40% who support George Bush, they like Dick Cheney. He is very popular on the part of the president's staunchest defenders and supporters who have hung in with the president through thick and thin.

Matthews: I think you're right, among the 30% or 30 plus, it's the 29% in this poll, who really love the president, they are 100% for Cheney. I think you're probably right.

O'Beirne: Exactly.

I like Bob Harris's take on the statistics better:

Bush at 34 percent approval. Cheney now at 18.

Bush's approval number is now level with people who think rock and roll has been bad for America.

Cheney is now only eight points ahead of the willingness to eat a rat on a reality TV show.

Saturday, March 4

And while you're getting over
the whole "Clay Aitken is gay" thing

GAAAAAAH! Well, at least it's unforgettable.

My friend Robertik has started a free forum where you can comment on Oscar fashions. If you love stars, snark, silk, and sunglasses, do join and comment. It's free.

Friday, March 3

Stay tuned this weekend...

Stay tuned and pray for Jill Carroll.

I've been working hard to surround her in my own thought with good energy. You'll notice the Jill Carroll posts are pretty much smut free, as opposed to the rest of this blog. She deserves hope, faith, and our prayers. If you get a chance, read the letters that are pouring into her newspaper in support of her release. Thanks, too, to Jurassic Pork for thinking and blogging about her with so much passion.

Happy Brokeback, er, Oscar weekend

I probably won't stay up for the whole thing, but gotta see a little of Jon Stewart.

And while I usually don't go for the corporate American tie-ins, M&M's Oscar Bingo (pdf file) looks like fun. And "Red's Red Carpet Tips", especially the wear something fashionable version. Why weren't the Super Bowl ads this good?

Next week in Blue Gal, I celebrate my newfound smart bitch-hood with some real live book reviews.

war geometry
from Steve over at Click image for more...

Thursday, March 2

The X Meme

"Wrong on so many levels."

This meme is better because I chose to do it and I don't have to tag anybody else. You can pick it up for your blog if you want to, just be sure to leave your url in comments below.

Wrote this yesterday afternoon.

9 lasts:
last cigarette: None. Ever. I get real bad claustrophobia thinking about smoke in my lungs. Can't breathe just thinking about it, so I have never, ever, smoked anything.
last beverage: unsweet iced tea, which proves I'm a yankee transplant
last kiss: my husband, a goodbye peck.
last movie seen: Young Adam. It sucked, in spite of Ewan, Cate, and music by David Byrne. Who coulda guessed that it would suck so badly. The most misanthropic film I have ever seen.
last phone call: tried to reach a therapist for my son to change an appointment, but it's Wednesday afternoon...
last cd played: a ed from Crowded House I bought at a library sale
last bubble bath: nightly, honey.
last time you cried: This afternoon, reading a romance novel. I really must be pre-menopausal, folks.

8 have you evers:
have you ever dated one of your best friends: No
have you ever skinny dipped: No
have you ever kissed somebody and regretted it: Yes
have you ever fallen in love: Oh, yeah...
have you ever lost someone you loved: Yes both through death and stupidity
have you ever been depressed: Yes, to the point where a doctor was seeing one of my kids, noticed, and intervened. He may have saved my life.
have you ever been drunk and thrown up: Interestingly, I threw up after drinking too much non alcoholic sparkling grape juice once. I pass out before throwing up.

7 states you’ve been to:
1. California
2. New York
3. Alabama
4. Florida
5. Arizona
6. Washington state
7. Massachusetts

6 things you’ve done today:
1. Substitute teach World History
2. Turned 2yo upside down and giggled
3. Read about 30 blogs
4. Received the Keira Knightley Pride and Prejudice from Amazon. Okay, am I first on the block?
5. Read about half of Forever and Ever by Patricia Gaffney. Sexy trash. (see above under last time I cried. I LOVE to cry, btw.)
6. Changed a poop. Just one today. So far. Two.

5 favorite things in no order:
1. My kids, ages 7, 3, and just 2.
2. Knitting and talking about knitting with friends
3. Writing something GOOD and sharing it with the blogosphere
4. Bubble baths
5. Douglas said sex. Sex? What's that? (see number 1)

4 people you can tell [almost] anything to:
1. husband
2. Akabini
3. AL
4. Jesus/God/higher power, whatever. The Great Out There. I talk to that every once in a while.
4. And if I can't tell anyone else, there's always Wally Shawn, my imaginary boyfriend.

3 wishes:
1. a full time teaching job with benefits
2. a chance to meet more bloggers face to face. It's fun.
3. I want my son to have a great life. Daughters, too, but they are not saddled with high-functioning autism.

2 things you want to do before you die:
1. Oh gosh, I've given up on that kind of long range planning. I could die tomorrow.
2. I guess the standard answer is see my kids graduate from college and become adults. That will happen tomorrow too, if perception is any indication.

1 thing you regret:
1. I regret I didn't call Lew Alquist before he died. I did not know he was sick, and then he was gone.

Wednesday, March 1

Uh, sorry Anne, his karma's in the shop...

another one from the talented Seeds of Doubt.

Hadn't the men in the White House ever heard of the word karma?

Anne Lamott, Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith

First of all, I love that Anne Lamott has to begin her second book on faith with a purgation of her hatred of George W. Bush and his administration. Get it out, sister. We all need that kind of cleansing, in preparation for Lent or not.

I'm listening to Anne read this book on CD rather than reading it. I love reading, but with spiritual books I'd rather hear the author speak it...maybe it's the sermonizer in me but it's more real to me that way.

She's as good as she was in the first book, Travelling Mercies. This one more about aging...and all these women who are writing these kind of memoirs are just a little teensie weentsie tiny bit older than me so I can comfortably observe their lessons from a distance. I notice the moisturizer always goes between the eyebrows first these days, though.

Frankly, Anne, I think the guys in the White House are learning about Karma first hand. The Cheney shooting is better than fiction, Douglas's foresight notwithstanding, and this portgate thang came outta nowhere. And even those of us who don't have a problem with it either can't or won't come to their defense. As I've said on other blogs, Dubai as much ports as they want, but Republican versus Republican is still my favorite pizza.

In addition to the funny image above, there's a great karma/Bush image from Distressed American (quite talented) here.

Memo to Douglas: I've joined the Bitches.