Friday, August 25

Winners in the New Rules Contest

Just so ya know, that furry thong is Armani. I guess the new season debuts tonight at 11 pm EST on HBO (just a coincidence, I swear) so if you're watching think of me. I'll be asleep in my TV-free house.

Okay the winners, are:

Autographed copy of Bill Maher's book, New Rules to:


New Rule: So what if she was cute and her parents smeared more makeup on her face than a casino cocktail waitress? "Breaking developments" in the 10-year-old Jon Benet Ramsey case are hereby banned from leading off the news cycle when over 6,000 people died in Iraq last month. Specifically the FCC should suspend CNN's broadcast license for running a ticker across the bottom of the screen, detailing the all-important contents of John Mark Karr's in-flight meal. Ugh. I feel a little queezy - be a doll and get me a ginger ale? Thanks. Do the lobotomized followers of this historical footnote even possess the requisite brain activity to operate a remote control?

Sandy Underpants:

New Rule: any journalist who says something is good for the Republicans, must lay out a logical case that if the opposite had happened it would've been bad for the Republicans. There must be some occurrences in this big wide world that are bad for Republicans. If Dick Cheney bites the head off a cheerleader, don't tell me it'll encourage better dialogue with our youth. No more peeing on my shoes and telling me the rain is good for Republican farmers. No more of your "heads Republicans win, tails Democrats lose" bullshit.

Autographed Real Time poster to:


New Rule: To Hollywood. No more friggin' remakes. Someone over at Shakespeare's Sister posted that some knucklehead is considering doing a remake of "Working Girl" starring... Jessica Simpson. Please. It was a nice little romantic comedy with a good cast. This we do not need.

We do not need movies made from bad '60s sit-coms. We do not need movies made from bad '80s cop shows. What we need are movies that display talent. That contain some small modicum of something akin to originality. That make us think and that take us places to which we have not been before. That have an ORIGINAL SCRIPT.

And that don't have anything to do with Jessica Simpson.

Karen McL:

New Rule: Child-In-Chief should be required to give up flying on Air Force One fly on airlines like the rest of Americans – and under the all FAA/Homeland Security rules.

No nail clippers, make-up, cologne, hard soled shoes, underwire bras or garments, liquids, hair gels, tooth paste, mouthwash, beverages…and wait in the normal 2-3 hours check-in lines and procedures.

Not Soccer Mom:

New Rule: Any US President must be at least halfway intelligent and halfway sane to hold the job. (Sorry, Shrub!).

And an honorable mention to:
Big Daddy Malcontent

New Rule: Childhood used to be training for the adult world. Now, parenthood is training for allowing childhood to last until the age of 30. You are NOT a unique little snowflake until you have actually had an original thought. Until then, you are only a food tube.

[To which I replied, "Now now, Big Daddy, I wouldn't be talking about Daily Kos commenters like that if I were you."]

If you're a winner, please send your snail mail address to bluegalsblog AT gmail DOT com. Thanks to all the talented writers who entered.


  1. Lurvly bunch of winners you got there, BlueGal!

    Congrats all around!

  2. Wow! The last thing I won were two tickets to see the Philadelphia Firebirds NAHL hockey team play. In 1978. I took a girl. She married me anyway.


  3. You know I HAD to be curious to leave the virtual bar to come over and see what you were doing with Bill's crotch!

  4. thanks BG. you're a peach and a plum in blueberry sauce. and powdered sugar on top. and three wishes. and a new Monza!

  5. OK Blue Gal,
    it's Saturday
    so today i have a gift 4U
    a little piece of Peace
    jam movie

  6. aw, thanks so much! i didn't think i had a chance. but i agree with sandy, you deserve a new monza!!! (go tubes!)


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