Tuesday, June 26

OF COURSE I don't have to photoshop
Paris Hilton Panties

I was so not going to blog about her.

When I saw everything she ever knew about mugshots she learned from Tom Delay.

Not even when it turns out her incarceration cost the taxpayers an extra grand a day.

Not even when she bumped Michael Moore from Larry King live.

Then I saw her note from prison to TMZ.com (no frickin' link and don't go there from here. Promise me.)

paris artwork

The words "bleach my eyeballs" always seemed over the top to me, until now. Why she would feel the need to express herself artistically in jail, complete with, yeah I could have predicted, the little "hearts over the i's"...

But still.

What I wanna know is, yeah obviously the LA sheriff is a complete wanker, but why!? why!? why!? didn't the sheriff's staff psychiatrist see this. Under house arrest she might have access to colored markers, for chrissakes.

And she might wanna auction her stuff online.

Where I might see it.

Please Larry, tell her to get back to Saks and Taco Bell, and leave the paints aloooone.


  1. Anonymous6:09 PM

    What more can one expect from a network that pimps Glenn Beck to replacethe equally ignorant Paula Zahn?

  2. Temper, temp BG. One wouldn't want to blow a gasket, would one?

    I tried to put hearts over the "i"s but I can't find the key on my keyboard.

  3. Why, oh why, does anyone care about this butterface?

    Furthermore, what ever happened to the concept of hard news?

  4. Hilton's tab includes medical treatment and staff associated with her requirements.

    Her requirements!?!?!

    W. T. F?!?

    If I ever get locked up, I'm gonna have a long list of requirements, dammit!

  5. akabini8:55 PM

    Frankly, I'm still astonished she can spell

    PH carries the very honorable distinction of being the one person on the planet whom I truly, truly

    And not even Siddhartha himself could talk me out of it.

  6. Dude she is so friggin' hot!

    You people are just jealous because you're not friggin' hot.

    Bunch of non-hot jealous type people.

  7. Akabini I was thinking the same damn thing--who helped her with the spelling?

    And fairlane yeah dude. You'd think people wanted me to blog about Richard Lugar and shit--the opposite of friggin' hot. Bet he's jealous of Paris, too.

  8. Off topic--Shakesville is down. I e-mailed Melissa and learned it's a denial-of-service attack.

    If we, the sane, ever regain control of the government, we need to turn some of its resources [Carnivore, maybe?] to finding these cyber-crooks. If some of these digital storm-troopers were frog-marched out of their parents' basements on national TV, prosecuted, and convicted, I reckon the incidence of such attacks would decline steeply.

    Meanwhile, could it be time for "I am Spartacus" again?

  9. i've said this before. paris is just another"shiny tinsel ball"

    a distraction for this short attention span country.

  10. "If we, the sane,"

    Because it's early, because I'm cranky, and because this phrase was in my inbox this morning, and most of all because I'm goddamn sick of seeing such throw away lines....

    Fuck you, and the "we" you rode in on.

  11. On the Net, one could say "2+2=4" and offend someone, somewhere.

  12. I'll admit I'm not part of the "loop", and to be honest the more I look at it the more it looks like a Noose.

    I don't get the "Politically Correct" Thought Police who meander about like little Polly Anna Pisspants looking for someone to hurt their feelings.

    I'll say whatever the fuck I want to say, and I encourage everyone else, wholeheartedly, to do the same. Controlling language is a way of controlling thought.

    I get offended, I offend. This is the world, and it's bare knuckle. Grin and bear it or move somewhere else.

    I'll end with this, Fuck you and your self-imposed martyrdom. Hang on a cross forever for all care, but don't expect others to climb up there with you.


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