What I learned today.

Number One:

No matter how much they insist, do not allow your young child to change her underwear inside a fast food bathroom.

She had a slight "accident" and insisted that the back of the minivan was not private enough. So we went inside.

Clean underpants on and then she sits on the fast food restaurant public bathroom floor to put her pants on.

Thank God for protecting drunks, small children, and The United States of America.

Number Two:

To determine how long it will take to get somewhere, take the estimated trip time from Mapquest and multiply it by the number of children with whom you are traveling.

Number Three:

Had dinner in a restaurant with big screen CNN. No matter how much I can't stand Newt Gingrich, I would buy him a goddamn drink before I would climb on the same public bus with Nancy Grace. I mean that.