Wednesday, August 9

Don't Sugarcoat It Award for August 9

Many of you know the satirical, but don't tell anyone website Conservatives for American Values, who win the most recent Don't Sugarcoat It Award for their lovely post:

Israel Has the Right to Kill Everyone

Guys, this is your best post since "Ending the Women's Suffrage Experiment." Congratulations!

The sad part is, Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson's CBN Network are pretty much saying the same thing.

Falwell tries to sugarcoat it, but this award is for NOT doing that, Jerry:

Understanding Bible Prophecy can help you become a more confident Christian because knowing "how the story ends" will help you realize that God has EVERYTHING under control!

...he says in a post entitled "March to Armageddon." Huh?

Here's a history lesson you may have missed:

A major display of the Christian Right’s support for Israel was the 2002 Road to Victory conference, organized by the Christian Coalition and quite unlike any previous Road to Victory conference. The keynote speaker was Ehud Olmert, then mayor of Jerusalem, who was invited to address the Solidarity with Israel rally. The galaxy of right-wing stars appearing at the conference either in person or through video included, former House Majority Leader Dick Armey (R-TX), former chair of the foreign relations committee Senator Jesse Helms (R-NC), Lt. Col. Oliver North, Alan Keyes, former Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore, and former Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.

...Christian Zionism can easily spill over into religious bigotry against Muslims....[In addition,] Gershom Gorenberg points out that for Christian Zionists, Jews are actors in a play where the final curtain forces them to either convert to Christianity or die in a blaze of fire sent by God.

From Right Web

And what a nice choice for the Jews that is!

Let's not sugarcoat it: these Christian Zionists are the wackiest and most dangerous people on the planet. Their version of Christianity has nothing to do with the teachings of Jesus, and I fart in their general direction.

"This is for you, Jerry Falwell, you stoopid phoney-Christian knigggiggit!"

Update: As if you didn't know, Blue Gal loves Crooks and Liars, especially Mike.


  1. Anonymous11:27 PM

    Aye, ye rapscallious right-wing religious wankers! I stand with Blue Gal's Brilliant Brainy Batallion an' wave mr private parts at your aunties, yr cheesy lot o'second hand electric donkey-bottom biters!

    Seriously, somehow methinks that a just god wouldn't be wishin' death an'destruction on his children. Makes me wonder what makes Jerry th'Jerk so sure he's on th'proper side in th'eternal struggle...

    As for me, I be doomed t'sail th'BlogSea until all robber-baron repub rubble be reduced t' th'dredge they crawled from. Is that a bit too political, considerin' that Washington an' th'Foundin' Fathers would've skewered them through like th'blaggarts they be for ruinin' a good idea?

  2. i have been saying these things to friends for years, but they laughed or felt badly, saying i was just "reading" my own fears into what these right wing so called christians were saying.
    this sort of "spin" on the bible has been going on for at least the last 30 years. they made no attempt to hide their beliefs but few ever took the time or interest in watching their broadcasts or listening to their sermons. NOW they have a lot of political pull and we are seeing the results of ignoring their message.
    i don't believe in their brand of religion, but i have to live with the results.
    they are far more dangerous than anyone wanted to believe.
    if they ever do come to full political power mainstream christians will be next on their list to persecute as they have little love of them. THAT is something that the mainstream just refuses to see, but i've heard their thoughts on catholics and others for years now.

  3. I'm dropping in from crooks'n'liars.

    An Alabama liberal. Now I've seen everything.

  4. Fine post my friend. Fine indeed.

    Speaking of Netanyahu-

    Yes, Benjamin
    Puncturing through
    Cleaving our rabid flesh
    This alien host
    Now kneels upon beautiful Lebanon
    With a final lunging forth of our end

    The smoke laden air her mouth
    Your cunning her speech

    Never did mountains quake so in stillness
    Nor the mighty oak crack
    Until empire with its kingdom-sword
    Leapt out of our hunger

    Yes, Benjamin
    There is a sponsor
    Cleaving the innocent
    Israeli and Lebanese
    Cowered of your host’s shadow
    With a slack-jawed horror

  5. When a government has Theomaniacs in charge, as the United States currently does, those Theomanicas believe they have a direct pipeline to God.

    I'm a Jew. I'm also a recovering alcoholic, sober 18 years, and have a god of my understanding. My relationship with a higher power tells me that war is not the answer; killing people is not the answer; forcing goats to wear diapers is as insane as is invading another country. My heart, my heart is breaking over Olmert's unholy alliance with Bush. This is not what Jews believe - this war is not what we are taught - it is anathema to everything I know to be right.

    That Bush pursues, and encourages Israel's government to push on in Lebanon makes both Israel and the US more vulnerable. We are less safe under Bush's regime. Israel is not safe under Bush's regime.

    This is a tragedy on such a grand scale, we can't begin to comprehend the ramifications. My heart breaks, and I am in mourning for my people for losing their soul.

  6. "Jews are actors in a play where the final curtain forces them to either convert to Christianity or die in a blaze of fire sent by God."

    So God, or Yahweh (Who said that? Come on! There's always one isn't there?!) considers Jews no longer the Chosen People on account of them killing his Son ,Jesus Christ, who died for all of our sins (including killing Jesus Christ, His Son) because...because some non-Jewish American white-mulatto sitting in a Barco-lounger says so several thousand years later. Well that's a pedigree I can totally get behind!

    I'll admit that God (according to the Bible) is a bit short on patience and a bit long on wrath, but on the other hand HE has also been quite forgiving too for reasons impossible to explain ( slaves OK, incest OK, murder OK, offering teenage virgins for homosexuals to rape--just wierd, really, but still OK), so who knows maybe these Christian Zionists are right? .

    Christian Zionist: "Someday, lad, all this will be yours"
    Jewish Lad: "WHat? The curtains?"
    C-Z: "The final curtains lad, as long as you accept jesus christ as your perosnal saviour, ANDDD....marry Princess Lucky!"
    J-L: But I don't want to...
    C-Z: You'll marry Princess Lucky and accept JC as your personal saviour, or it's curtains for YOU!
    J-L: "Curtains?"
    C-Z: Ooohh I've 'ad enough! You! Say 'ere and don;t let 'im leave"
    Soldier: Right! We'll leave and you'll stay here!

  7. This kind of strange thinking used to be called insanity. What the hell happened?

    While people die by the hundreds others gloat in the fact that they are getting closer to god by allowing this to happen? That's not religious, that's criminally insane.

  8. Blue Gal, when you're tempted to sin by posting more of these thoughts, please just ask: What Would the Bronze-Age-tribal-sky-deity-redacted
    -through-Renaissance-papal-politics-and 19th-century-American-apocalypticism-
    plus-20th-century-corporatism Do?

  9. Anonymous3:10 PM

    Jews are actors in a play where the final curtain forces them to either convert to Christianity or die in a blaze of fire sent by God.

    Same tune, different century. When will this meme go away?

    You know, I've been calling myself an agnostic Jew for many years now, but I'm starting to wonder if I'm a cowardly atheist -- you know, too afraid of what God might do to me if I admit it out loud.

  10. Hey Zifnab,

    Alabama is home to lots of liberals, but the wacko neo-con evangelicals get all the attention. In these days of obsfuscation, distortion, and hyperbolizing public opinion beyond recognition it is ever more difficult to determine reality from spin. So please allow me to pop that stereotype. Which is one of the oldest.

    In other news...

    Most radicals I know are deeply unstable people. In an attempt to control their own inner chaos, they desperately wish to believe in a unreal world full of absolutes and unfounded, hasty generalizations.

    And this goes for the militant left as well as the militant right.

    These are times of great transition, and in times of transition, it is a great temptation to want to look for easy answers. But there are no easy answers. This is not World War III. This is not the end of the world.

    I've always seen evangelical Christianity as a big cop-out anyway--instead of living to make one's earthy existence the best it can be, you are directed to focus your attention on the Utopia that will be the afterlife.

    This is a time of rapid change. But I see these as important, exciting times as well.

    Anyone can be a hero in times of complacency.

  11. May I suggest reading "Misquoting Jesus" Turns out the he fire and brimstone in Revelations was commonly used by writers to threaten the scribes who copied text. It seems everybody is an editor the author did not want his work changed.

    So Jerry and the gang are just self delusional but then that's not news

    More Orgainc yarn stories

  12. Hello Bluegal and readers,

    Pay close attention, profundity knocks at the door, listen for the key. Be Aware! Scoffing causes blindness...

    At the core of the deceptions used to manipulate humanity is the concept of religion. Without it, Bush, the Neo-Cons, and their cohorts could never have gained and retained political power by manipulating an already deluded and susceptible constituency. Likewise, their thinly veiled partners in crime, Bin Laden and his ilk, could never have succeeded in their roles in this centuries-old Vatican-led grand deception.

    We are all stuck in a web of interlocking deception formed by money, religion, and politics. The great evils that bedevil us all will never cease until humanity finally awakens, shakes off these strong delusions, and forges a new path to the future.

    Understanding the Fatal Flaws in Judeo-Christian-Islamic Prophecy

    As certain world leaders strive to instigate a fabricated "battle of Armageddon," it is vital to understand and spread the truth about these ancient texts to help bring about an end to such abominable evil.

    You can never expect philosophies based on lies and great error to lead to peace and harmony. How many more millennia of terrible proof is necessary before humanity finally gets a clue that most have been utterly deceived by the very concept of religion.

    Read the article here...



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