Wednesday, February 6

Blue Gal? You're a Bad Democrat, No Pony panties

This post pertains just to the Democratic Ballot in Alabama. I didn't vote Republican just to be cute, and that couldn't have happened anyhow because the 70 year olds watching the ballot boxes would not have allowed it. I had the word "peace" on my t-shirt and goodness knows that means there was more suspect about me than just what's in my panties at that point.

In addition to voting for a Democratic Presidential candidate you have to select 8 of their delegates, up to four women and four men. The lists are separated by gender so yes you vote for four "female Obama / Clinton / Edwards / Richardson** delegates" and four "male Obama / Clinton / Edwards / Richardson** delegates".

**there are no female and only three male Richardson delegates on the Alabama Democratic ballot as if you care.

Separating the genders is just like the Taliban, innit? I think calling Alabama, Talibama, is kinda funny. Then I remember I live here.

Then there's this boolsheet, which I cut from this sample ballot but is on the ballots for each county here:

By submitting a completed Democratic ballot you promise to aid the nominee of the party no matter even if it's that godless commie Dennis Kucinich! Or someone who doesn't wear a flag on his lapel! Or...a woman!

Oh nevermind one Democratic operative here said it's "probably not enforceable."

Memo to the Alabama Democratic Party: Fuck you and your state party Mastercard.

Update: The Alabama results are in and depending on our ballot, we either voted for the colored fella (people here who've evolved a bit just say "we're not ready for Obama") or on the other ballot we voted for a reasonable facsimile of Jesus Christ his own self. And which party you chose depends entirely on whether you care if your candidate wears an American flag on his lapel.

(The facsimile of Jesus does.)


  1. Funnily enough, one of Obama's delegates was a distant cousin named David R. Camp. (CK's last name is Camp) All Camps which live in Alabama are distantly related. :-)

    Yeah, my Mom said, "My Dad would have killed me knowing I voted for a black person!"

    We have come far. Let's not forget that. :)

  2. distantly should say "distantly"

  3. *cries* Ohmigawd, Huckabee won the GOP Primary in my state (WV.)

  4. BG, is the separating by gender an attempt to try and insure equal representation for each gender at the national convention?

    Haven't the Dems had an affirmative action policy in place for delegate selection a few decades now, which is probably why our candidates are not all white men?


  5. I dunno, did anyone else (in a state other than Alabama) have a ballot that separated the delegates by gender? Let us know...

  6. hey, pennsylvania might count for something this election. wooohoooo!

  7. Kucinich couldnot even get on the ballot here in Texas cuz he wouldn't sign an oath to support which ever candidate wins the party's nomination. He took the state's Democratic party to court and lost.

  8. Anonymous2:55 PM

    BG, no gender separation of delegates in NY, nor did I see a sign stating "support your party's nominee of die."

  9. Man oh man that Republican Jesus.

    If not for him, how would I know what's truly important?

    Don't bother trying to answer, the consequences are unfathomable.

    Sic Semper Tyrannus

  10. Anonymous9:26 PM

    Rebecca: Don't feel bad. Apparently Huckabee was willingly being used by McCain to deny Romney the delegates. I've read that all of the republican candidates absolutely hate Romney, and Huckabee is being a team player. Feel better.

  11. I don't recall there being any "pledge to our candidate or die!" type messages last time around.
    Gee, PiNY, why don't the other Jesus facsimiles like Mittens von GameShowHost?

  12. That Jesus cartoon is priceless.


I really look forward to hearing what you have to say. I do moderate comments, but non-spam comments will take less than 24 hours to appear... Thanks!