Thursday, June 22

Sex! Sex! Sex! Oh, google it yourself.

Apparently the latest blogosphere debate is whether fellatio (hey, this month's Vanity Fair says it's as American as apple pie!) has killed patriarchy. Or that we should be thinking about patriarchy during blowjobs. Or something. I don't even want to follow this argument. I'm still mad at my mom for throwing out my patriarchy in 1977.

Speaking of sex, Star Wars Episode Four, A New Hope. That's the original one that came out that same year, and my seven year old just watched it for the first time. Wow. It was great because he could be indoctrinated into a major pop culture icon of my youth, while at the same time, learn another important life-lesson:

"See, son, the pee-nee shaped x-wing fighter?" I mean, seriously, what's the head on that thing for? Armor? Feh.

"Well, it goes barreling into this dark narrow cavern-like tunnel. The pee-nee ship's job is to shoot a little thingy so that it will penetrate the large spherical Death Star. Watch Luke grunt a little sigh when he shoots his little thingy successfully." Really folks, you need to watch the scene in this context. I am not making this up.

"Then a 'chain reaction' occurs. The big sphere ultimately bursts into a thousand points of light, and all the good guys jump for joy!"

And that is where babies come from.




  1. Anonymous5:26 PM

    So did you ruin that movie for me forever, or just rescue it? I can't wait to see Luke grunt. Does he? Really?

  2. Now I'm going to think about Star Wars during blowjobs...

    ("You're all clear, kid! Now let's blow this thing and go home!")

  3. omg, that's hysterical. now i know what movie to show my son when he asks where babies come from

  4. Anonymous6:39 PM

    Fellatio has killed patriarchy? Huh, patriarchy must be a zombie then, because humans have been playin' at that game for millenia an' patriarchy keeps standin' up again. Or maybe they be just speakin' about 'American Patriarchy'.

    Aye, now that makes sense, what with Frankenbush, Count Roveula an' Chenymummy...come t'thnk o'it, Condi does look like a zombie in th' right light--wait she be a woman, so how could she be a zombie if patriarchy is a zombie? A transexual zombie? Kerfuffle me ribbons, I'm so confused!

  5. Captain, you have an absolutely brilliant way of taking the debate to a whole new level. And bringing the current administration into it at the same time. I agree with ye, Captain, blowjobs are probably as old as Moses and the patriarchy (great name for a band, btw). Certainly there was a lot of that going on during Masters and Johnson's "technical virginity" days in the 40's and '50s. Wikipedia says oral sex is described in the Kama Sutra from the first century CE.

  6. I always thought that all the talk about George Lukas getting his inspiration from Joseph Campbell was baloney -- it turns out it was from Josie Campbell, that slut in 10th grade.

  7. Blue Gal, that's not what we learned in biology. How could Dr. Moustardi be so mistaken? He said storks!

  8. there are a lot of sly little sexual things in a lot of sci fi

    the first time i saw the monster in alien i flashed on how much the alien's head looked just like a giant mutant dick with two sets of teeth. made me cringe a bit! i know they did that on purpose!

  9. Yet....the monster in Aliens was female, though I agree with you on its appearance. Ripley calls it a bitch.

  10. I will never be able to watch Star Wars again without laughing. "Honey, remember when I told you about birds & bees? Forget it. Just watch THIS."

  11. Dang! Here I am at 73+ and just learning about the years of pleasure I missed out on because I had not a clue. I guess it’s too late to try to catch up now that I am a victim of ED and don’t have an understanding partner, huh?

  12. Yup, this is the issue I just worked over on my place. Found it discussed at Steve Gilliard's place first.

    I'll bet you find erotic connotations in railroads & tunnels, too ;)


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