The GOP Debate I'd Like to See....

With all "due" respect to Wolf Blitzer, I'd like the next GOP debate to be hosted by Bridal Bling Blue Gal (TM) and Kathy Griffin.

BBBG:  Welcome to tonight's debate.  I'd like to start by picking up an issue from the last debate, the 30 year old uninsured guy in a coma who the tea party audience wants dead.

Kathy Griffin:  I take it his last name isn't "Schiavo."

BBBG:   Right.  What if an uninsured 30-year-old  accidentally fell off a bridge when, in an incident no one could have foreseen, the bridge in a Republican district collapsed underneath him because the Republican Congressional Delegation had cut taxes for billionaires so much, that no one could afford to maintain an existing bridge?

Kathy Griffin:  I think the Congressional delegation was so busy de-funding Planned Parenthood they didn't notice the bridge was broken.

BBBG:  But what if the uninsured 30-year-old's parents were Roman Catholic culture-of-life types and had purchased several hundred copies of Callista Gingrich's Pope Video?

Kathy Griffin:  Or what if the guy himself was a dominionist who didn't have money for health insurance because he gave it all to Pray Away The Gay Ministries?

BBBG:  Or what if this bridge collapsed AFTER the repeal of Obamacare, and he didn't have insurance because the insurance company cancelled his coverage due to the pre-existing condition of...

Both:   THE CRACKED BRIDGE!  

BBBG:  We'll just have to put an asterisk next to the repeal of Obamacare, so Republican Donor pro-life Catholic Anti-Gay Ministry types won't have to pay.

Kathy Griffin:  They never do.

BBBG:  We'll be back after the break, when Kathy and I will ask the candidates about balanced budgets and bringing more freedom to Wall Street.

Before I go to bed, the end of the world as we know it.

OMG. Some publisher is producing ABRIDGED versions of DICKENS, THACKERAY AND GEORGE ELIOT!?!?

...in the first series of Compact Editions Anna Karenina, Moby-Dick along with David Copperfield, The Mill on the Floss, Vanity Fair and Wives and Daughters will be 'sympathetically edited' down to fewer than 400 pages.

WTF? I mean, Eisenhower always said if you can't say it in a page don't say it and I always said if you can't say it in 475 pages don't say it. Especially if you're saying it in a nineteenth century novel, for Crispy Kreme sakes.

But I gotta say while I love me some George Eliot, Mill on the Floss needs some serious editing. It's like she got tired all of a sudden and spent the last fifty pages saying "and then everyone died in a flood the end." Hey don't listen to me the Guardian Unlimited lit blog says the same damn thing:

The Mill on the Floss by George Eliot is a case in point. While the first two thirds of the book is a wonderful, if leisurely, evocation of a small English market town at the beginning of the nineteenth century, the last part is a rushed, breathless, melodramatic affair with an entirely unlikely tying up of plotlines.

In other words, everyone dies in a flood the end.

Give that one the Eisenhower treatment.

Eisenhower in his days as President (not of the George Eliot Fan Club).