Dimwits, Part 2 (Okay, we won't call them Southern, but you'll know.)

Our first story is from Louisville, Kentucky. Turns out the fountains in Waterfront Park were skanky, from people allowing poopie diaper babies to wade there, and homeless people taking baths in the fountain, etc.

Officials tried posting signs warning of bacteria, to no avail. So some wiseacre official ordered this sign posted by the fountain:



Thank God for the internet. The online edition of the Louisville Courier-Journal reminds all of us that "The water in the fountain pools is, like all water, made of two-thirds hydrogen atoms and one-third oxygen atoms."

Oh there I go thanking God with one hand and promoting science with the other. Again...

However, now that the signs telling people about "the hydrogen part" are posted, "bacteria [has] dropped to safe levels as people avoided the fountains."

So I was telling Mr. Blue Gal about this series and he reminded me that there are people throughout the deep South who would take issue that Kentuckians are actual Southerners because their state did not join the Confederacy. Talk about holding a grudge for a lost cause. Next thing you know we'll restart the Francisco Franco death watch. (Feels like it, donnit?)

But I digress. So since stories of dimwits from a certain region always come in three's, let's make sure this last one actually comes from a real Confederate state: Alabama! (and major props to "Don's Political Parlor and Home of Lawn Mower Repair", a go-to blog on Alabama politics.)

Terri Willingham Thomas (R- you're kidding!) is running in Cullman County, Alabama for a seat on the Court of Civil Appeals. Like any white person who has more than three generations of the family living in Alabama, it appears a leaf or two on her family tree actually has a white pointy sheet head-covering. Okay, let's not sugarcoat it: Looks like maybe Terri's own parents were in the Klan. Not saying, just suggesting. Now, lemme tell you, if somebody "suggested" that my parents were or had ever been members of the Ku Klux Klan? Oh, ma hunnies, I would have a response. Terri did, too:

"...if her parents were in the Klan, she wasn't made aware of it."

In other words, Meemaw and Daddy did not talk about the cross-burnings at the actual dinner table. Okay, give her a pass. I mean, it's not like she ever actually solicited votes from a white supremacist group herself. Oh, wait...



"Thomas declined to repudiate [the CCC's] beliefs because she said she doesn't know what they believe in." But she conducts a friendly visit and asks for votes. Bless her heart.

Now I'm not saying that the Council of Conservative Citizens is a white-supremacist group. The Southern Poverty Law Center calls them that. Um, actually, that's good enough for me. But Terri Willingham Thomas likes to think for herself, darn it! She says "she won't rely solely on [SPLC's] analysis of the group."

I almost hate to post this, but this is the Southern Poverty Law Center's "analysis" of the group:

The organization routinely denigrated blacks as "genetically inferior," complained about "Jewish power brokers," called homosexuals "perverted sodomites," and accused immigrants of turning America into a "slimy brown mass of glop."

Oh yeah, the Anti-Defamation League and the Coalition of Latino Organizations don't like them, either. Now why would a candidate for JUDGE have a hard time investigating a public group? She could Google it. And deciding whether statements like that are right or wrong? Isn't that what Judges are supposed to do?

Doc says it best:

She is a judge who cannot find enough information about a public group to evaluate its positions?

But more important, she is unwilling to act on the understanding that people are not as interested in what the CCC believes as in what she believes. She doesn't have to know what the CCC believes to disclaim racist beliefs.

Unless it might make Mommy and Daddy upset.

UPDATE: Yeah, the CCC is the white supremacist group in that photo with George Allen, too.

Panties in the News!!! Southern dimwit edition

Hugh Grant autographed the gigantic granny panties from Bridget Jones One. They were recently auctioned for charity.

By now you may have heard about the mayor of Gallatin, Tennessee, who agreed to allow a filming of a straight to DVD feature in his office. Apparently he didn't know the movie was Thong Girl 3.

Having never watched Thong Girl one and two, I, like Mayor Don Wright, really had no idea what these movies were about, either. (Well, I kinda had an idea from the title.) But nevermind, this is why Reuters stringers make the big bucks:

According to the Thong Girl Web site, heroine Lana Layonme wears a red thong under a cape as she flies over Nashville repelling a villain who is trying to turn country music performers into rappers. The movie is the third in a series released only on DVD.

Thank God for the internet. Turns out the "actress" portraying Ms. Layonme in Thong Girl 2 also made personal appearances at Fantasy Writer's Conventions. Where she got to meet real live comic book artists. The linky for this photo actually takes you to a well-written blog. Just wanted to break my rules and show you the terrific costume for Thong Girl 2:



But I digress. The Mayor defended himself thusly:

"They said it was family friendly," said Wright who let the locally-based crew use his office for two hours. "We've had a lot of movies filmed in this area during the past few years. In fact, I think Sally Field was in one of them. Anyhow, I thought it was good for business."

Residents have not been unkind, Wright said.

"Well, it's sure true that no good deed goes unpunished but most of my e-mails about this haven't been bad."

Hey! First, I wouldn't be bringing Sally Field's name up. Her career mighta been helped by Thong Girl 3. And the fact that your emails have been positive just shows that for people in Gallatin, Tennessee, cheaply-clad superheroes defending country music stars from being converted into rappers passes for family-friendly entertainment.

Listen up kids. Like celebrity deaths and Thong Girl DVDs, stories of Southern dimwits always come in three's. Tune in tomorrow for the sequels.

Tick for Black

Lewis Black is in Birmingham on October 27 and I'm going. If anyone else in the area wants to grab a sandwich before, lemme know at bluegalsblog duh duh duh gmail duh duh duh com.

So many better bloggers than I are talking about the torture compromise. Two examples: David Stephenson says what I was thinking. So what, if everything Bush signs into law does not necessarily apply to him?

Bush Cheney McCain, the lot of them, throw their stuff out on the lawn and change the locks.

And then Sandy has to go ahead and prove a picture is worth a thousand words.

More wimpy wet wipes in our midst

I am not going to play the song about stopping abortion by making a serious public commitment to contraception. You've heard me play it enough.

There are two bills in the House, sponsored by "Democrats". BTW the realistic one that includes contraception, HR6067, is sponsored by the wicked cool Tim Ryan. Enter the wimpies:

Although the two bills share an overall goal — reducing the number of elective abortions by establishing support programs for pregnant women, such as child care and health care -— pro-life Democrats have split over whether the legislation should also support prevention methods, primarily the promotion of contraceptives.

Reservations over the issue prompted Democrats For Life of America, an anti-abortion-rights group that also opposes euthanasia and capital punishment, to part ways with Ryan before the Ohio lawmaker introduced his bill last week.

...While the organization is not opposed to the use of contraception, [DFLA leader Kristen] Day explained, she said the group became concerned that the topic could distract from the overall bill.

Reducing abortions but not getting "distracted" by contraception?



Anyhow I plan to send an online message to Tim Ryan to tell him to stick to his guns. You can do this too. Use his contact form

UPDATE: Called Tim Ryan's office today and spoke with his most competent, very nice press secretary. Send the email here, and write to your own congressperson in support of HR6067 here.

Tell 'im Blue Gal sent you.

BREAKING: Mr. Clinton joins the club

By the way, when you're a living ex-President with an IQ approaching 155 (and no, we'll probably never have one of those again), you have the capacity to pronounce words with the asterisks already inserted.

from HuffPo.

Happy Birthday Sandy Underpants. xoxoxo

Go over and wish that wonderful blogger a good one.


.

walks like a virus, quacks like a virus

h/t Qwerty

Propaganda isn't all bad...

...but it is still propaganda.

Propaganda comes in many forms. It can be used to teach parents to use seat belts for their kids. It can be used to tell us the importance of voting.

It can sell you clothing for your decorative lawn goose. (Why they hate America #540).

My point is propaganda isn't always a bad thing. The best example of good propaganda in recent days has been Keith Olbermann's "special comments" at the end of his Countdown shows. These speeches, with more viewers on the internet than probably on the show itself, are passionate, thoughtful, and true statements defending our Constitutional rights of free thought and free expression. I've loved all of them.

But they're still propaganda. And what's interesting is, they're good propaganda. They work.

I'm reminded of another excellent (though not positive) use of political propaganda: Ronald Reagan's "Morning in America" ad. I vaguely remember that in 1984 CBS News ran a story critical of Reagan, and as a visual ran that "Morning in America" ad. The next morning, a Reagan staffer (Ed Rollins, maybe) called Dan Rather to thank him. Dan said he didn't understand, as the story was critical of Reagan. But the Reagan guy said that didn't matter. The images were so good and comforting for the viewer, it didn't matter what the story said.

I think in large part it doesn't matter what Olbermann is saying in these special comments, even if I and the rest of the left-wing blogosphere love his words so much we're signing up to have his baby. What matters is the images, and here Olbermann and company are putting Rollins and Rove and the rest of the Republican Smear-Meisters to shame.

KO v. Rumsfeld was the first of these special comments, and the images are terrific. Watch it with the sound off if you dare. Image-wise, it goes like this:

KO, Blue background. Blue is color of Democrats but also connotes honesty. KO is the "anchor" of the segment in every sense of the word.

Bush talking about Hitler.
KO-Blue Background
Hitler/Chamberlain/Nazi montage
brief shot, Winston Churchill (good guy)
KO-Blue
Rumsfeld montage, clapping for Bush
KO-Blue
Capitol montage, Nixon, McCarthy, Curtis LeMay
KO-Blue
Summation (more on that below)

The juxtaposition of Bush/Rumsfeld and Hitler/Nazis/Nixon/McCarthy leaves the viewer giving Bush exactly what he deserves, indeed, what Rummy asked for, in doing the whole Nazi appeaser name calling thang. "They wanna talk Nazi appeasement? Huh."

The latest special comment, on the Rose Garden Press Conference (last time Karl holds it there, betcha) is even better.

KO-Blue
Bush Alone looking pissy in Rose Garden
Colin Powell looking official-testimony at UN
Colin Powell smiling and hugging our troops, who are wearing camo (no, really it's not propaganda at all.)
cut screen Rose Garden--Bush says "Unacceptable to think"
KO-Blue
Abu Gahrib torture photo montage
KO-Blue
President Rose Garden
KO-Blue "responsible leaders need to sit the President down"
Thomas Jefferson/Declaration of Independence montage
Summation

We get it. President=Torture. KO=Jefferson.

MSNBC sportscaster 2, Rove 0.

And now let's look at those KO summations, at "camera 2", that KO's director uses, effectively and I'm sure consciously, at the end of each of these special comments:


Now it's true, that Christians like myself are taught in Divinity School to see God everywhere. But seriously, look at the background: Glowing windows, blue and red, gray columns on either side. Olbermann is speaking direct from the MSNBC Cathedral of Truth. It's cathedral imagery, we are the choir and the parishoners and the faithful and the redeemed. Turn the sound back up and listen to the sermon. It's damn eloquent, it's the truth, and it WILL CONVERT THIS COUNTRY.

I am not making this up. Look more closely:




Do not think for an instant that I am being critical of Keith Olbermann. I adore him. What he and his staff are doing is converting, and stirring the souls of those already converted. Make no mistake: watching this is a religious experience. And don't think for an instant that I'm giving away secrets. Believe me, I'm sure Karl already knows. Karl, for once, is peeing his pants. Somebody does it better than him. Go MSNBC. Go Keith. We're praying for you, and I don't mean that in some sucky "third awakening" apocalyptic vision way, either.

Kisses always to C&L. Original cathedral image here. (Yeah, those stained glass windows look just like a bank of TV sets.)

UPDATE: Reuters reports that MSNBC knows a gravy train when it sees one (good!), but KO says ""No voice came to me and told me to do this."

Yes, dear.

Ye know what t'day is, me hearties...

There be no better way t'celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day than to link to and visit the blogger who keeps her brave ship sailing the high blogosphere seas through storms of Bushwacker idiocy 365/24/7!

If I dinna think she would challenge me to a fight I would tell ye all what a nice person that lesbian pirate queen truly is. But enough of that scallywagging...

I hereby declare it t'be Link to Cap'n Dyke Day!

If ye are a member of the crew, consider this an order from the First Blogmate! Arrgh!

Win in 2006? Maybe we just don't want to...

See the bigger picture here.
h/t to the beautiful people at Corrente


An article in next month's Atlantic Monthly

(and hey, that entire October issue is online, now, for your blogging pleasure. How can they afford to do that?

Wait, how can I afford to do this?

We both get paid with loyalty, that's how. Subscribing to the print edition is the best thing I've done for this blog all year.)

Anyway.

An article in next month's Atlantic Monthly says maybe the Democrats shouldn't want to win in 2006, but save it up in their pants for 2008. Well, Atlantic Monthly doesn't say "in their pants," but still:

...leaders in both parties do seem to share a fundamental pessimism about the country’s immediate future—and about the ability of Congress to do anything about it. ...One Democratic Senate staffer, who’d prefer two more years in the minority to a narrow majority, notes, “It’s the difference between demanding a plan for Iraq and having to unveil one.” In other words, the fear of winning in 2006 is really all about the fear of losing—and the sense that over the next two years the nation still has more to lose.

With no offense intended to my fellow Pennsylvanians (and Blue Gal's whole immediate family will be voting for Casey, mind) I might be willing to hang on to lil' Ricky Santorum for another six just on pure entertainment value alone. And while there's no hope for the Katherine Harris campaign, I wish we could watch her boobs address the US Senate through the magic of YouTube videoshopping. Yeah, having those clowns in the US Senate sure would be funny...

that is, if it weren't the future of the fucking United States of America we're talking about here.

What, you think Blue Gal is not a patriot? She hates America? If you think that, you have not been listening.

Nah, we've taken enough Republican abuse. Throw their stuff out on the lawn. Get. Out. Now.

Blue Gal reads her email...

I've answered a few emails this week and thought it might make an easy interesting post.

J writes: Just one quick question: what's with the underwear thing?

Blue Gal: The whole thing started quite by accident in August of 2005. It started as a funny way to attract hits, but it's not that anymore. People have come to expect panties from Blue Gal. Turns out that's an extremely smart move, though I didn't plan it that way. Kinda "brands" Blue Gal.

As a rule, no one is wearing the panties. That keeps it out of the realm of porn blogging, I hope. And I try to make the panties thematically appropriate to the post. That's not always possible. As I've written before, I am always going for the "big head and the funny bone" rather than the "little head and the funny boner." I see it as a silly commentary on the proliferation of porn and porn searchers in the internets tubes. I've seen and posted so many panties it just doesn't come across to me as even naughty anymore, but I suppose some new readers might see it that way.

Anyway now people have come to expect it so I'm (happily) trapped. Thankfully there's no shortage of panties images to choose from, and I'm getting better and better at photoshopping stuff when I need to.

R writes: Hey BlueG you've changed your page since I stopped in last. I like this one and all but the other one looked so, so daring, and somewhat pouty, and, and hypnotic, like it wanted me to do naughty things and, and (sigh)... I like the new look too.

BG: The other one was Angelina Jolie her own self. Was worried with 10K hits per month and climbing that implied endorsement was going to get me in trouble.

Thanks for the feedback though. The librarian type in the new header also would be happy to endorse naughty, but she doesn't want you to bother the other library patrons. Set whatever is in your pants-pocket to vibrate, babycakes.

C writes: Do you have a favorite pair of panties you've posted?

BG: Probably the "Super Sexy Glow-in-the-Dark Crotchless Panties". The fact that someone with a degree in marketing thought putting "super sexy" on the box was a good idea...sure means quality to me.

M writes: What's up with your blogging with The Aristocrats? Is that permanent, or temporary? ...I guess I think of that as a guy's blog.

BG: Bwa ha ha! Oh, not anymore, ma hunnie. My agent told me that "working with" three guys at one time on the internet would be a good career move for me. Fortunately, the 'Risties let this girl catch her breath every once in a while.

I was invited to join them precisely because they wanted more estrogen over there, and now they've got it, I think. And Paul Hinrichs and I have experimented with Linux sex chat in comments, so you never know what will happen. I mean, granted, it's not Drupal sex chat, but still.

In all seriousness, it's been a blast and an honor to write and collaborate with such talented men. I love each one of them, and it's a terrific creative challenge to try to out-funny each other. Yes, it's permanent.

Speaking of Aristocrats, new Jambi and George up today, and it's an international tale of espionage and intrigue! Kiefer Sutherland, eat your ever fun-so-lovin' heart out!

And I thought I'd never get to dedicate a song to the Pope...

From AP:

Few in Turkey, especially, failed to pick up on Benedict's reference to Istanbul as Constantinople - the city's name more than 500 years ago - before it was conquered by Muslim Ottoman Turks. [link]

Yeah, yeah, boycott schmoycott. I know They Might Be Giants records for Disney now. They're still awesome.

Sneaking out of anonymity for an important post.

Greetings and welcome to the beautiful people from Crooks and Liars. Get your full-frontal Blue Gal here; get your bonus panties here.

This is a rather personal post. Some people who don't know me might get to know me from this post. But I think it's important.

I am a believing Christian. I believe, at the very least, that Jesus had a unique relationship with Our Creator and that his teachings have direct, applicable validity to my own daily life.

I have a master's degree in theological studies from Harvard Divinity School.

Here is what I want to say:

The President has gone completely mental.

He spoke today at a Rose Garden press conference about there being some "third awakening" in America. This in the context of defending his interrogation bill. He has no idea what he is talking about, either religiously or historically.

Great Awakenings in this country were fairly spontaneous, tremendously emotional, faith revivals. They were not generated by the wishes of a desperate Presidential Administration. The political change that this awakening yielded was the abolition of slavery, and the temperance movement. They did not endorse the failed policies of torture, lying to invade Iraq, and national mesmerism.

These awakenings also had very little long-term impact, religiously, on the nation as a whole. The period of the late nineteenth century, post-Civil War, brought tremendous interest not in mainline Christianity, but in rather radical faith healing and spiritualism. There were as many seances in the post-2nd G.A. period (in the attempt to speak to those lost in the Civil War) as there were "Christian" ministers who denounced them as anti-Christian.

I am a Christian. I do not proslytize.

I am terrified by this development in the obviously deteriorating mental state of the President.

To use any form of "religous awakening" as a justification for policy is pathetic.

To use "religious awakening" as a justification for torture is ...well, there just aren't words.

We are one terrorist attack away from the end of democracy as we know it. There are too many people in this country who will trade all their political freedoms for the freedom to drive to and from work and to watch cable TV.

Things to do:

Support Americans United for the Separation of Church and State. Believe me, there are a lot of Christians, people of other faiths, and atheists and agnostics who support this organization, out of concern that one "brand" of Christianity not trample on the rights of all Americans.

Sign the "First Freedom First" petition here. It is about making sure the separation of church and state remains at the forefront of our Bill of Rights.

Thank you for reading this. Just thank you.

My definition of "a good day."

You know it's a good day when Colin Powell decides he can't play nice and just walk away anymore. And then we got to watch (some of us over and over again) Jon Stewart call Fox News "GOP c**ksuckers?" (The question mark is important. Go watch.) And then I found these:

 

from les Enrages




from Big Daddy Malcontent

Maybe the tide really, truly, is turning. Maybe it isn't. Maybe big money and big stupidity and big corruption will continue to win out in this country. But we will NOT go silently into the dark night. We're going to be telling the truth, and laughing at the enemy, all the way. 

The White House got one good piece of news yesterday: Laura finished her Christmas shopping. 

Have a great weekend.

Children's Literature and YOU!

One of my favorite writers for children is the late James Marshall. Some of his books are out of print but the next time you are in a bookstore or library, whether you have kids or not, seek out his name and sit down and laugh. The books are hilarious, for adults as well as kids.

One we took out of the library recently is called "Speedboat." Here's a rundown.

The book is about two "pals," Jasper Raisintoast and Jack Tweedy-Jones.
Raisintoast is "full of pep" and likes to ride his speedboat.
Tweedy-Jones is "a homebody" and likes to wear his monogrammed slippers reading poetry by the fire.
Tweedy-Jones wears an apron and cooks dinner.
Raisintoast has adventures and brings home artwork from an arts and crafts exhibition for Tweedy-Jones.
One day Raisintoast comes to a bridge where there is a lady with a moustache. He is told he must kiss her to cross the bridge, so he goes away without doing either.

Are you surprised that Raisintoast and Tweedy-Jones share a house and sleep in the same bed? Neither was I.

Related memo for the divine Angelina Jolie: I'm a big supporter of the right of every consenting adult to marry whomever they like regardless. (And enjoy each other's company even in books for my kids.) And I realize as a super rich uber-celebrity your situation is unique. That said, if my boyfriend and father of my three kids tried the "we can't get married until everyone can get married" solidarity-with-the-gays mumbo jumbo, I'd kick his ass.

Laughing Out Loud

Word is out that Bush has another fox appointee to guard the henhouse. Susan Dudley has been appointed as regulatory czar for the Bush administration. She currently works for an outfit (that, kudos, just received an $80,000 "grant" from Exxon Mobil!) which argued that "historical evidence suggests" global warming "is likely to be beneficial, occurring at night, in the winter, and at the poles."

She also wanted to make car air bags "optional."

Apparently she is personally responsible for the statement that there "is a wide range of uncertainty in the science surrounding the health effects of arsenic in U.S. drinking water supplies."

Hey, arsenic, global warming, and steering wheel impact might actually be good for you. Let's face it, the jury is still out.

Other things that are good for you, according to the Bush administration:

unemployment
waterboarding
delay (both Tom and time)
underfunded schools
occupied Iraq (but hey, we're painting the schools there.)
wiretapping
marriage, if you are a man and a woman, as often as you like; same-sex, never.
fences
flags

Let no one say that this administration is putting the interests of big business ahead of the interests of the American People. That may be true, but don't let anyone say it.

Wondering about that 29%?

Southern Heritage Bikini Bottoms. No, you don't get a fricking link.
They're here!

A majority of Alabama voters say the United States "did the right thing" when it invaded Iraq in 2003, with support strongest from those who are middle-aged, white, male, upper-income and Republican, a new poll found.

Gee, rich white male Republican southerners support our President. Forgot to mention they're also "fuckwads." There is a lot of handwringing going on here about making sure Alabama's image continues to improve and folks around the country realize not ALL Alabamians are this stupid. But think about it, this week the MSM proved that you can call at random in this state and find 249 people who not only think invading Iraq was a good idea but also support the President's handling of the war.

I am not going to apologize for calling this state, on the whole, a buncha fuckwads.

Blue Gal's 'Do You Want the Terrorists to Win?' Score: 100%

pick up the t-shirt here.

You are a terrorist-loving, Bush-bashing, "blame America first" traitor. You are in league with evil-doers who hate our freedoms. Worst of all, you are a liberal, and as such clearly desire the terrorists to succeed rather than give up your precious "civil liberties". You see the world as a quote-unquote "community," and you even believe in the worth and dignity of every human being, regardless of race, immigration status, sexual preference or relationship to Allah. I mean, Holy Halliburton, Blue Gal, how un-American can you get? You would allow the French a seat at the War Room Table, but you wouldn't have a near-beer with George Bush, even if he was buying, you are that much of a treason-plotting leftist. Luckily for the U.S. of A, Alberto Gonzales is tapping your internet connection and is now aware of your thought-crime.

Have a nice day.... in Guantanamo!

modified from Do You Want the Terrorists to Win?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

H/T Captain Dyke.

Happy Sunday

for VL

Blue Gal has a new look. Hope you like it.

Don't forget to point out Bush's FLIP-FLOP on torture! (h/t Shakes)

I love how Pansypoo diagnoses her condition, and also defines the whole blogosphere: "suffering from Bush-related Tourette's." Damn fucking straight.

BTW talking on the phone to Shakespeare's Sister and Paul the Spud while they are in a bar together with a bunch of other shakers is as close to attending Harvard as I have been since 1988. You do it, so you can SAY you did it. I did it. Love you guys.

Sandy says it best

Stealing from Sandy today:

Shorter Pres. Bush:

Yes we torture.
No we do not torture.
Yes we do.
Not torture, of course we do.
Torture?

To which I would add,

Even shorter Bush:
"Torture? Hey, works for us!"

Or why not, in the spirit of bi-partisanship, a Kerry-esque approach?
"I voted for torture before I was against it."

Friday's Pop Quiz

Hey, your tax dollars don't just fund lies about Iraq! From the ACLU's excellent website countering "abstinence only" sex ed:

Pop Quiz!

To protect teens from unintended pregnancy and STDs, the federal government pours millions of taxpayer dollars into abstinence-only-until-marriage programs that teach which of the following points?

a. "One of the best ways to avoid AIDS is to 'avoid homosexual behavior.'"
b. "Abstinence without faith = Failure (It’s God’s idea!)"
c. "AIDS can be transmitted by skin-to-skin contact."
d. "The liberation movement has produced some aggressive girls today, and one of the tough challenges for guys who say no will be the questioning of their manliness."

ANSWER: All of the above!

Fabulous, Don! Tell us what we've won!



If you don't like abortion, think about this: three out of ten girls in America get pregnant before their 20th birthday. 800,000 teen pregnancies. Every year.

We have GOT to take the blinders off in this country. That is all.

Don't Sugarcoat It Award for September 8

This young man clinched today's Don't Sugarcoat It award with his clever and unrehearsed use of the term, "in Bangkok". Just about snorted oatmeal outta my nose with that one. Hat tip to Bridget in the Sixth, the latest gal pal addition to the Blue Gal blogroll. Go say hi.

You've reached the wrong mommy blog

While visiting David Stephenson's excellent Kos diary today I noticed an ad for "Mothertalkers." Intrigued, I clicked.

Kos Media, LLC (and who could have predicted that corporatizing, huh?) has set up a diary-driven space in the blogosphere for women who are also moms. Wow. Thanks, Markos. Having built the largest and most popular frathouse on campus, it shows real initiative, and an ear to the ground, to provide a daily Kos for those who are not comfortable with the drunken political orgy celebrated at the main site.

It is way too early to tell how this mothering room on the internet will play itself out. The lead diary today on older dads and autism certainly hit way close to home with Blue Gal, and prompted me to sign up.
(One additional comment to the Mothertalker people. Don't make Kos diarists sign up again to join Mothertalkers. One membership should get you everywhere on the Kos campus. And the Mothertalkers name...sounds like a lightly veiled insult. We get it.)

But then I read the other diaries from the main page. "Your funniest delivery room story"..."tell us all about the tears you shed as Junior left for his first day at kindergarten"? HUH?

Look, Markos, iVillage has been mowing that turf for years. I fry my brain on the internet just Google searching for funny panties images. Thanks but no thanks.

I can't tell you the number of emails I've received thanking me for not writing a mommy blog. There's nothing wrong with mommy blogs, and a few of them actually rock the political/social/parenting world right on its head. I used to love Salon's Mothers Who Think columns, and damn them for hiding that simple, forceful title these days as the lowercase "mwt".

But hey, if Markos thinks his advertising revenue will increase by mimicking the "seven ways moms and tots can stay cozy and look great this fall" set design, well, more power to him, but count this mom out. Again.

"Oh, don't we all."

Mark Wahlberg reminisces about his pre-film-star days as Marky Mark, rapper and underwear model: "I miss being able to wake up when I want and go onstage when I want and pull down my pants when I want."

Yeah, I just heard the secret CIA prison story, too.

Isn't it nice when Democrats and Republicans can agree?

I mean, it's true! We can all get along.

Katherine Harris won the Florida Republican primary. So the good news is a whole bunch of agnostic bloggers are this very morning praising Jesus. Hallelujah!

She says that now the Florida Republican Party "will rally behind her."

Um, Katherine? Wake up, Katherine!

"If you are not electing Christians, tried and true, under public scrutiny and pressure, if you're not electing Christians, then in essence, you are going to legislate sin," she said.

Harris' comments so incensed challenger Monroe, that he said Tuesday night he would not support her as the party's nominee.

The remarks, he said, were "anti-Semitic" and "terribly frightening." Monroe, a Christian and lifelong Republican, said Harris was essentially advocating "a theocracy."

"I consider myself a loyal Republican," said Monroe, who worked in two GOP administrations. "But it amazes me anyone would support her."

It's unanimous!
_______________

Looks like the political parties are uniting behind a no-confidence vote against Rumsfeld, too! Will wonders never cease?

Rich Galen, a Republican consultant who worked as a civilian employee for the Defense Department in Iraq, said: “It’s really a free shot for Republicans. You can be in favor of what we are trying to accomplish in Iraq and not be in favor of Rumsfeld.”

But the news isn't all bad for Rummy:

Some Republicans in tough races have stuck by the defense secretary. In a television debate on the NBC program “Meet the Press” on Sunday, Senator Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania offered his full

Oh nevermind.

Look. Here's my advice for Rummy:

1. Keep in mind that Bill Frist, Tony Snow, and Rick Santorum have your back. That means stay on the Prozac!

2. Remember that calls for your resignation will pass. They'll pass like a very large kidney stone, but they'll pass.

3. Just keep watching your affirmation video. (Scary alert. Turn it up really loud to feel the secret of the Secretary's success.)

_________________

PS. Regardless of parentage (admittedly wacko) or patronage: Republicans, Democrats, irreligious bloggers, and Scientologists can safely agree on this one-- That is one pretty baby. God bless 'er.

Why we don't use Google Adsenseat Blue Gal

You might need to sit down for this one.

Today is a busy day at Casa Blue Gal and I'm still getting over the whole "Karl Rove at a country club fundraiser for Ken Blackwell (R - Diebold)". But before it gets too stale I wanted to show you this, stolen from the always luscious Big Daddy Malcontent:



I am not asking any of my readers to adopt Galloway's Middle East politics. But, hot damn, why can't somebody, anybody, talk to Brit Hume like this? About anything?

We kid ourselves if we think Paul Hackett does as good a job. Galloway has parlimentary slugfesting in his blood. Sorry Paul, but that trumps even your service in Iraq as far as going up against the Fox boys goes. Practice, Paul. Watch and learn.

If you have any talent with online video searches (I don't), please find all the times a "guest" on NewsCorp TV mentions "Rupert Murdoch" and the poli-bot talking head says "I'm going to stop you there." I am absolutely convinced that it is against the Fox News rules to mention Murdoch on the air. Which is funny, 'cause going after George Soros is de rigeur. There's a video viral response waiting for you if you can string those together in a YouTube.

I'm sure Murdoch would quote Galloway in this instance. "Blue Gal, what a silly person you are."

"Oh Shit." (while knitting to Crossing Delancey)

I've been spending the weekend with some wonderful relatives, knitting to old videos, and only getting on the blog to post here and at The Aristocrats. Not much else.

So seriously, I didn't even notice that Mike of the Blog Round-Up linked to me.

Oh shit. Shit. Shit. I so do not take this for granted.

Readers, go over to the Crooks and Liars Store and order a pair of panties. Or a coffee mug. Or a T-shirt. Help that wonderful website pay the MASSIVE bandwidth bill they must have to pay every month. And look really cool in the bargain.

I mean, shopping sucks. We don't *need* any more stuff. But we do need to support those who support us. And nobody does that for the blogosphere, and especially the little blogs, like C&L. Think of it, that logo will be hugging Blue Gal's bodacious ta-tas in 2 days plus shipping. Let it happen to you, too.

I mean, let the shirt hug yours...OH, you know what I mean.

Happy Labo(u)r Day

Billy Frickin' Bragg, people. I'm sorry YouTube doesn't have There is Power in a Union, or Which Side are You On, that great traditional tune. But this'll do:

The reason for the season!

<
Cool! Unions protest at a WalMart!
Oops, nevermind. It's in Canada. Why do they hate America?

Labor Day is more about football than unions, these days. It's Reagan's fault. Bust the unions, turn off anti-trust controls, and you get WalMart, the largest employer in the US of A. Number one!

Wait. I don't wanna leave Reagan yet. Look at this from the Birmingham News website, caught at Between the Links:



Think about it. Ronald Reagan is a conservative value. I guess they mean the undisguised idolatry of Ronnie, not that we don't also worship the idols of The Ten Commandments monument and Taylor Hicks. I mean, he's the true American Idol. After Ronald Reagan.

Mike writes this up and the result is, well, really Reagan, ya know?:

“Jimmy is such a nice young man. He’s polite, generous, and Reaganriffic.” Actually, that’s really catchy. I think we should compile a list of traits that qualifies one as “Reaganriffic.” Or should we change the wording? Maybe Reagalicious? Reagantastic? ...Isn’t it wonderful to live in a place where so many people can list the entire Crimson Tide depth chart, but can’t name even one of our two US senators? It’s Reagantabulous!

That said, I find WalMart as a political topic fascinating.

It's fascinating that the negative story that gets the most play in MSM is not that WalMart is bad for the environment, bad for unions, bad for employees, bad for local economies, bad for all of us. The negative story that gets play is that

WalMart is bad for business.

Barry Lynn has been spreading this gospel from Harper's Magazine to NPR. I don't disagree with it. But the dialogue itself shows just how much we've lost. "Power to the People" (thanks for the reminder, Konagod) is completely meaningless to today's workers. The revolution is over. (By the way, we lost.)

It's also fascinating that the effort to get WalMart to provide health care to their employees is a big lie, by the way. It is admitted by the organizers themselves that their efforts are designed to get WalMart to use its considerable political muscle to petition the federal government for a single-payer system, to force them to admit that they cannot remain "competitive" (against whom?) if they provide healthcare to people who work for them.

Again. Why a single payer insurance plan? The alternative is bad for business.

Finally, it's fascinating that negative news re: WalMart often boils down to negative news for Wall Street, heart and soul of the corporate media universe. Don't ever forget what Sumner Redstone, CEO of CBS's parent company Viacom said in 2004:

"There has been comment upon my contribution to Democrats like Senator Kerry. Senator Kerry is a good man. I've known him for many years. But it happens that I vote for Viacom. Viacom is my life, and I do believe that a Republican administration is better for media companies than a Democratic one."

Yeah.

It really is all about the money, perhaps also because for middle class white America, the primary consumers of mainstream media, those 401K's must continue to go up or else. I mean, when even a liberal rag like The Nation takes note, I gotta wonder:

Some Wall Street analysts think all this bad press, and the ongoing offensive by the unions, may even be depressing Wal-Mart's stock value. Wal-Mart's stock price, over the past year, has fallen 19 percent. During that time, the uncelebrated Sears has seen its stock go up. On Wall Street, Target has also been kicking the Bentonville behemoth's sizable butt.

So the message is, shop at WalMart, invest in Sears? And if you wouldn't be caught dead in either? Oh Dahlink, Isaac Mizrahi is waiting for you over at Tarzhay.

But what if Americans just stopped fucking shopping all the time? Oh, sorry, don't wanna be caught being un-American. Go team! Fight the terrorists!

Buy something.

cross-posted the Reagan stuff over at The Aristocrats.

BREAKING: Blue Gal joins the Aristocrats

We haven't figgered out about how often I'll post there, but it took me zero point zero seconds to accept the invitation to join the fine fellows at The Aristocrats. As Penn Gillette has taught us, it's a fine name for an act.

Daily posting will continue at Blue Gal no matter what.

A time for reflection

Bush Urges Nation To Be Quiet For A Minute While He Tries To Think

There seems to be a movement afoot to get us all to take some time for quiet reflection.

Quasar9 sent this video to several of us bloggers, to invite us all to take a moment.

just-a-minute is about experiencing the power of a peaceful and still mind, starting with just one minute at a time. It's a growing movement for people who feel the need to pause and reflect in the midst of a frenetic modern lifestyle.

Just a tip for the marketing people on that one. People who really, actively pursue "a peaceful and still mind" never use the word "lifestyle." The publishers of Yoga Journal's Balanced Living Magazine are the only ones who think you can have inner peace and a lifestyle at the same time. And we're not talking to them.

Secondly, the "source of enlightenment" in that cute cartoon looks suspiciously like the pissed-off "planet" of Pluto. Beware.

Okay, just in case (after Rummy called us all fascist enablers) you still don't think we're kinda re-living the Vietnam Era, there's a be-in (oh, come on, that's what it is) on September 17, diff is you can "be-in" online, natch. Once I do the math and figure out whether it's in the middle of the night or not, I do plan to join.

And there's a big shindig called "Dropping Knowledge" going on in Germany this month to bring thinkers together for discussion, sharing and I guess bonding. Again, I'm not putting it down. It sounds cool. Hey, Willem Dafoe can moderate me anytime. And Wim Wenders, Cindy Sheehan, and Laurie Anderson are involved too. Just remember, the idea behind that Beatles' Magical Mystery Tour film was also, "Hey, let's get some oddball cream-of-cool people together and see what happens." Answer thirty-nine years ago? Nothing.

But for those of you who feel the ability to live in a peaceful present moment is elusive, you may wish to follow Blue Gal's simple three-step process to inner peace.

1. Give birth to three children in the space of six years.

2. Wait two years more.

3. One lovely September morning, drive them all to school and pre-school. Drop them off.

Aaaah. That's much better.

A contest where everyone's a winner?

Hail, photoshoppers, Enigmatic Paradox has a contest going where the prizes are themselves a paradox, or an enigma. Or something. Anyway, they're funny. And those of you talented enough to morph one silly politician into another should do it.

Alright, Alright. I'm first in line for the audition, though.

I don't have time to create a separate blog. But if you want a sign up sheet, comments here will have to do ya. Leave your name and city only, please. Yes, men and those of us past our prime are welcome.

Thanks, you wonderful readers! Blue Gal hits 10K for August

For the first time, Blue Gal has had over ten thousand unique visitors in one month. It's never been about the hits. It never will be. But I am humbled and grateful that even a few of those hits are people who don't know me personally and still want to read what I write. You blow me away. Thank you.

Big shout out to the most wonderful stud muffin in the blogosphere, Mike of the Blog Round-Up. And to every other blogger who provided a link, a laugh, or a comment. There aren't words.

And a dedication to my readers. It's a silly video (great song) from the big 80's but it says what needs to be said: "I got you. That's all I want. I won't forget, that that's a whole lot." Thank you.

And for my THIRD post of the day...

from Webundies

I know, I know. Cooookies. I'm going to stop right after this one, I promise....

I just can't figure it out.

Shorter Rummy: If you don't like stay the course you're a Nazi appeaser, get it? Lemme throw the word fascism in there, too! So those egghead blogging people can look it up, throw around definitions, and basically, well, encourage al Qaeda types!

Shorter Rush Limbaugh: I think you might then say that the obesity crisis could be the fault of government, liberal government. Food stamps, all those -- ...the government's killing the poor. The Bush administration is killing the poor with too much food.

Oops sorry, that's not shorter Rush Limbaugh, that's an actual quote.

Which one of these guys is working for Karl? I mean, it's Katrina anniversary week, and even I am blogging about the above. Look! Shiny things! Tossed in front of the blogosphere! Ooh the Secretary of Defense called me a fascist! That fascist! Rush is talking about obesity! That "big fat idiot"!

Google Blog Search mentions this week, props to Arianna's folks for making this kinda graphic possible:




Whatever they are paying Karl Rove, it isn't enough.


Yo, Bloggies! Drink da Kool-Aid, and show him da money.

Update: I thought a lot about this post while carpooling the kids home. It's not that we lefties all need to stick to the same talking point. I'm worried that we can be so easily distracted. While the MSM generally does not help, I give big props to Olbermann tonight and hope it's a "have you no sense of decency" moment. (C&L promises to have the vid.) Regardless of WHY he said it, Rumsfeld is an officer in the Federal Government and unfortunately the civilian director of our military. He should be ashamed to say what he said about dissenters within this country. Ashamed.

Update 2: Olbermann spoke with a wonderful passion. Remember when he was a candidate for Blue Gal's imaginary boyfriend? His intelligence as an aphrodisiac scale now goes to eleven. It goes to eleven. Step aside, Philip Seymour Hoffman. I think it's time for a shuffle.

Letter to a fellow blogger

I wrote this the other day to a relatively new blogger and thought others might get something out of it.






Dear fellow blogger,

I can tell you are interested in driving up traffic to your blog, which is great. You're a good writer and your traffic will increase as you keep blogging (daily, if possible). The other things you can do are:

Leave comments all over the place. Find a nice long blogroll (mine is over there but there are others) start going down it and leave a comment everywhere you see something you like. My blog went from zero to 70 hits a day from just doing that and then I was on my way.

And don't leave a "visit my blog" comment. They'll visit anyway.

Only leave on-topic comments or sincere compliments. Nobody likes trolls or self-pimping***. Make the compliment TRUE, and specific where possible. Only praise posts you really do like. And link to them where possible, too.

We're all human, and we bloggers are more narcissistic than even the average American. And most of us work very hard on our blogs with little thanks. Every comment matters.

I have personal likes and dislikes but if I follow the rule of "only say something if it's nice" I really like Shakespeare's Sister and Crooks and Liars. The other big blogs I can take or leave, and I leave'em. Those two have nice people attached to them: people who care about small blogs, the blogosphere, and are not puffed up with their own importance. We all need to emulate those qualities. Don't forget it.

Do you have comment moderation at your site? Get rid of it, for the time being, until somebody bothers you. As a Blogger user, I've found word verification works very well to keep out the spam. Better at the beginning not to put too many barriers between you and commenters. You can always hand-delete those comments you don't like, if you're lucky enough to have that many comments.

Also check out this post from Enigmatic Paradox, as well as Brainshrub's excellent series on tips for political bloggers.

Keep blogging and keep the faith.

***Big exception: DO pimp your blog when Shakespeare's Sister has a blogwhoring day. She does it about once a week and again, you just leave a comment there. Update: Oops, she did it today.

Lessons in children's lit...

My 4yo was reading a "Harold and the Purple Crayon" omnibus, the story "Harold's Trip to the Sky" (1957). Harold finds himself in the desert.

Apart from drinking at an oasis, he thinks, "there isn't much else to do on a desert." But "then he remembered how the government has fun on the desert. It shoots off rockets."

Which the hell government is Harold thinking of?



original photo at the always delicious Quasar9.

Don't Sugarcoat It Awards for August 29

Usually, the Don't Sugarcoat It Awards are for those who succinctly dope slap the President or his administration. The recent Katrina blogswarm did an excellent job of that (thanks, Shakes, you're fab) so today I wanted to highlight two other blogs that covered differing issues with good writing and sharp prose.

The first award goes to the group blog Corrente, for their lovely post on the Connecticut/Lieberman thang. This post is not over the top with swear words, but when the chairman of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee pretends that there are now two Democrats in the race for US Senate in Connecticut, I think calling that chairman a "wet fart of a Beltway Insider" is both appropriate and lacking in sugar. (Betcha that guy can make a folding metal chair sing.)

The second award goes to David E's Fablog. Lotsa don't sugarcoating will be happening today on the whole why-aren't-there-DNA-tests in Bangkok issue, but David E. does as fine a job as any:

Gasp! Clutch the pearls! How can this possibly be with everyone from Nancy Grace to Larry King to “famed psychic” Sylvia Browne picking their teeth in the wings.

Yes after ten years the 6-year-old beauty queen, like Generalissimo Francisco Franco is STILL DEAD !

...But it was great TV, wasn’t it Binky? And it did the job it was designed to do: “Hey look over there!”

Tomorrow I'll be blogging about blogging. Have a good one.