Friday, February 29

You know the news is bad when my post about
a Quaker math teacher starts with....

...we are so extraordinarily fucked up in this country, I'm speechless.

"California State University East Bay has fired a math teacher after six weeks on the job becaus she inserted the word "nonviolently" in her state-required Oath of Allegiance form."

Yeah, she's a trouble-making Quaker. And it cost her her part-time teaching job.

Teachers can't ask to be nonviolent anymore.

Just sign the damn form and don't ask questions. That's what they tell a TEACHER. At a UNIVERSITY. In CALIFORNIA.

Did I mention the "extraordinarily fucked up in this country" part yet?

Don't sugarcoat it, Manila.

Manila Ryce hosts the latest Carnival of the Liberals, and he's got yer Unity Pony right here:

Before we get started, allow me to briefly explain the content of this particular carnival. As you can imagine, during this election season I received many well-written posts about why Hillary sucks and why Obama sucks. Being the great unifying force that I am, I must insist that we find some common ground in agreeing that they both suck, and that no real liberal is honestly happy with the conservative platform of either senator.

I wouldn't go that far. But I was dumbstruck by both candidates' talking points this morning on NPR, about which one of them is BETTER at "reaching across the aisle" and working with Republicans.

I am convinced that Howard Dean's poll numbers show we need everybody's vote except the 27 percenters and the Fundies (overlapping there but still) in order to prevent another stolen election. That anything less than a repeat of 1972 in our favor will lead to another Republican administration, because they can.

1972. Everybody voted for Nixon. And then they conveniently forgot that they had. Yup.

Nevertheless. This is bullshit. Unadulterated bullshit.

(AP) Democratic presidential candidates Hillary Rodham Clinton and Barack Obama touted themselves as willing and able to work civilly with members of the Republican party during interviews with a newspaper in Ohio, where voters head to the polls Tuesday for a crucial primary election.

During her seven years as a U.S. senator serving New York, Clinton said, she has worked with members of the GOP on topics including child safety, veterans' issues and military readiness.

"My record is clear," Clinton said in a telephone call Thursday with The Cincinnati Enquirer editorial board. "Some people have been surprised by the collegiality between me and my colleagues across the aisle."

But Obama said he less inclined to give in to partisanship.

"Her natural inclination is to draw a picture of Republicans as people who need to be crushed and defeated," the U.S. senator from Illinois said in a separate telephone interview with the newspaper.

"It's not entirely her fault. She's been the target of some unfair attacks in the past."

As president, he said, he'd work with both Democrats and Republicans in Congress.

"I'm not a person who believes any one party has a monopoly on wisdom," he said.

What about a monopoly on "rip the Constitution to shreds and ask us to thank them for it please Mister President may I have another" BULLSHIT, Senator?

Remember the Goldwater slogan, "In your heart, you know he's right?" Well, I still am not convinced we have to play the "other side of the aisle" game, but if we do, in our hearts, we know the GOP is

Happy Leap Day.

Wednesday, February 27

Weird day today

My neighbor's house had a kitchen fire, so our home spent the evening surrounded by loud trucks. What's worse, I got tugged to and fro worrying about the future, which is stupid. Time for a little Ella, who hits every note because she's absolutely sure of them. Look how she stays in the now and has figured out the fun.

RIP William F. Buckley

He was wrong nearly all of the time yet unlike most of the so-called "conservatives" of today, I would have been happy to have him over to dinner if he'd sit up straight and smoke outside. He had ideas rather than talking points, and demonstrated better than most that articulate cleverness is a virtue in and of its own self.

I wonder what he was smoking when he said this, just so he could show he could do Allen Ginsburg. Of course those who've seen Ginsburg live realize how much he did Buckley: suit tie lectern formality.

Aw nevermind, what Glenn Greenwald says.

On Immigration

I love this quote from an immigration comment thread:

illegals suck we should have fucking sank the mayflower and anything that came close to our homeland

Hokay so while I failed in my trip back from Chicago to encounter anyone using a Hello, Kitty! item (Chicagoans clearly treat "Hello, Kitty!" like a pothole, avoiding HK items with deft precision) but I did encounter in the airport burger bar a couple travellers from North Carolina. They were businessmen and chatty.

The chattier of the two, with no warning, looked at me. "What's your name?"

I replied, [in the alternate universe where I say what's on my quasi-Aspergers mind]

"I'm a damn fine pilot. This Polynesian flight attendant will serve your drinks while I crash our sabotaged plane. Good-bye."

But of course I didn't. The conversation might be bloggable. Heh.

So we got to chatting and he brought up the fact that he and his partner HAVE to learn SOME Spanish for WORK and he's too old and besides, THE MAJORITY of Spanish-speaking people here are ILLEGALS.

I looked at him like his face was made of grapes. "I do not have statistics at my immediate disposal, but you are dead wrong about that "majority" business. I am sure of that."

He. Caved. Told me I had a good head on my shoulders, whatever that means. You mean, like Holly Goodhead? I'm her, too.

So these guys work for a HUGE multinational corporation. Offices in Germany, here, around the whole world. And these two guys supervise or sell or buy or something only the packaging for some of the products this company makes. And their specific office is located in North Carolina.

I ask innocently, because my awareness of the importance of manufacturing and small industry has been increased of late, "are the packages that you deal with as managers manufactured in North Carolina, indeed, are they manufactured in the US?"

"Aw, noooo. They sure aren't."

I stifle the urge to ask them if they get their packaging at Wal Mart. Because I know, and they know I know, and I know they know I know, because I've got a good head on my shoulders, exactly where their packaging is manufactured.

We do not have a Hispanic problem in America. We do not have a problem with "illegals."

We have a white problem. We have a problem with idiots. Our problem is whites who are easily manipulated by Lou Dobbs or any of the GOP white guys on the teevee sayin' that brown people are takin' away their jobs and they listen to Lou Dobbs on a teevee that they bought at Wal Mart, not thinking about the cheaply paid and maybe not paid at all "yellow" people (don't mention slave labor it's impolite) who made it... no not one bit.

And they don't think about the so-called liberal world we live in where everybody gets a batchelor's degree in business so they can be the next Lou Dobbs, and no one is trained to make packaging for anything, because, in America, everyone can get an entry-level banking job and just coast and then Mom and Dad can be proud sonny wears a tie to work. They do wear ties at Best Buy, selling made in China teevees, right?

Immmigration is a huge problem. Sure. But the problem lies not with "them," folks. In so many ways, it lies with us.

Tuesday, February 26

Long overdue congratulations to
blue ribbon blogs in the news

This is overdue.

Shakesville was recently celebrated as a "starter site for Feminism 2.0" by Utne Reader.

Driftglass was quoted and linked by the New York Fraking Times Opinionator blog in his piece about Nader.

And of course, it's a lovely photo of Mister Talking Points himself. Congrats on the award, accolades, and attention, Josh honey.

I love this country of ours.

Connecting the dots. Yep, indicted no-I-won't-resign Congressman Rick Renzi is the same Rick Renzi who got the Katherine Harris canoodle on the House floor in this memorable youtube.

It just had to happen.

Pollcats, h/t Brilliant at Breakfast.

Happy Birthday to my youngest, who in all her sweetness and smarts is four today.

Monday, February 25

Salon tonight

Blue Gal Salon 2/25 hosted by

Join now

Chat about what's on your mind. More about public chats.

Why, once again, no video blog this week.

Two words: sick kids.

I refuse under any circumstances to allow my children to appear on video at this blog.

So Cheesy Poof, who turns the big O-4 tomorrow, has red dots on her face. The school wants to be sure that it's not chicken pox, and her mother kinda sorta knows it's most likely not chicken pox because, as is often the case on weekends, Cheesy spent her weekend refining her pores and increasing her UVB protection with the magic of a chocolate facial. She's actually experimented with dry brownie mix, Hershey's Syrup, and Dove Bars melted by her sister using a light bulb. (Don't ask. Just don't fucking ask.)

Since the dots are only around her mouth and nose and not on her arms or belly, I'm not too panicky.

Then I try to reach the pediatrician on a Monday when everyone in the entire country has the flu.

Not only are the receptionist phones going to voicemail, the voicemail will not allow a message to be left. I'm only a bit of a drive from their office, so I do what I usually do in this instance, and, without any resentment, drive over there with my sick child in tow and stand there until they think I'm a drug rep.

Receptionist: Hi. Are you here to check out?

Me: No I'm here for an appointment. I can't reach you by phone.

R: Oh we're sorry, our computers were down.

[Okay so now I assume they don't answer phones without computers and that ticks me off but wev.]

R: What is your chart number? [if I said my child was not breathing this office would ask for my "chart number." Can you say computer dependent?] And what are your child's symptoms?

Me: [again I'm not panicked] Her school wants her checked for chicken pox.

R: gasp. You're not supposed to bring chicken pox into this office.

Me: [in the alternate universe where I speak my mind] Fuck you and answer your phone and tell me that, Bitch.

A nurse dashes out and looks at Cheesy and determines in three seconds what I already kinda sorta knew. (Moms do, btw.) It's not chicken pox. So I'm not Pediatrician Bad Mommy of the week, dammit.

We're on our way to our appointment now. I wish they'd offer free chocolate facials for jerked-around moms.

Salon tonight, details later. Sigh.

My posts are generally longer than this.


Oh, I guess I'll go on for another few words: The General (who's holding a fundraiser so send some paypal love if you can) has summat to say to her shitbag staff (and yes, Physioprof coined that phrase!)

Sunday, February 24

The blame goes to the Right.

Pammy, you've got no shame at all. I am convinced you got Holy Joe rip roaring drunk, logged him onto Facebook, and had him send me this.

Click for larger.

...And a warning.

Fox may write the news, but history is written by liberals with PhDs. One need go no further back than, oh, Macedonia for evidence that you'd better not get drunk on power or liquor or your own farking lies because your successor will pee on your grave, dude:

Basil I, called the Macedonian (Greek: Βασίλειος Α΄ο Μακεδών, Basileios I o Makedhon; Armenian: Վասիլ I Մակեդոնացի; c. 811 – August 29, 886) was a Byzantine emperor. He was perceived by Byzantines as one of their greatest emperors, the founder of one the most splendid imperial dynasties of Byzantium, the Macedonians (Greek: Makedonoi), and the initiator of a renaissance of Byzantine art. However, the opinion of modern historians is less flattering as it appears that

many reforms associated with his name (not by accident)

were in reality launched by his predecessor, (who is known as...wait for it...)

Michael III the Drunkard (oh geesh and when did they come up with DAT name),

whom Basil had assassinated. (well, sure).

Saturday, February 23

No. I mean it.

No, I don't think it's too early to pray for her. Overdue, actually. I also love this photo. Shows her warmth, which she also showed us at the end of the Austin debate. Her best moment ever, in my opinion.

And I'm not too big on Paul, frankly, but this (with my emphasis) is kinda nice in this context:

I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

This post is part of a week-long, sincere, support/prayer vigil for the Democratic Party Blogswarm.

Oh thanks, Skippy honey


Skippy the Bush Kangaroo
, the only blog I know of whose name has passed the lips of Jon Stewart (break a leg at the Oscars Sunday night, Jon honey. And when you're up on that stage, my blog is pronounced Bloo Gal rhymes with pal).

I know these dealios are out there and I've had my share but since it's a chance to share the lurve with ten other bloggers, and since I didn't do the recent "publish your entire blogroll as a post" thingy, (mine's rilly long) this I will do.

The rule is to pass it along to ten (only ten?) other excellent bloggers, and I've tried to choose those who have not been chosen already. And frankly, some of you are so networked that, for instance, I know Zaius is going to choose you anyhow so what's the point of my duplicating? We do live in a rather sapien rich world here amongst the blogs.

Okay ten:

Les Enrages

Threading Water (evil twin)

Figleaf's Real Adult Sex

Cap'n Dyke

Balls and Walnuts


Edicts of Nancy


Hot Chicks with Douchebags

Mercury Rising

They say only if you accept the award then you must pass it on to ten more blogs. That seems to fall nicely under the "no tagging" rule by which I abide. xo

Saturday Song

Diesel, Tip of My Tongue. Pretty song. Have a lovely, ma hunnies.

Thursday, February 21

How to tell if your boyfriend is in Al Queda.

Don't be fooled by the satin sheets, strategically-placed rose petals, champagne, and candles, my girlfriends! The mask is just one of many dead giveaways!

Senator McCain? Your world:

There's no one way to spin it, but let's try this way:


Private Corporate Jet

Mr. McCain had written letters to government regulators on behalf of the lobbyist’s client

official favor for a friend with regulatory problems

Keating Five scandal

update: Telecommunications Lobbyist.

And the first words I heard on this from the candidate's mouth:

"I have lots of friends in Washington."

In covering this story, neither I nor The New York Fraking Times have used the words blow job, blonde, or


I don't stoop to gutter politics, Mister McCain, because, as a Democrat, I generally never have to.

Wednesday, February 20

Fidel Castro and Cindy McCain. Joined forever in my mind's eye....

This little clip cracked me up. Keep an eye on Cindy. Always keep an eye on Candy Cindy, my friends, heh heh.

The wink! The nod! The smirk! The excitement! She looks like a cruise travel agent with massive booking opportunities! Yay!

I would pay serious dough to see a picture of Fidel watching that clip. What he would say about Cindy. The pearls, the hair, the facelift, the seven fifteen hundred dollar suit. And isn't it smart of Saks to find a model who looks like her from a distance? Whaddya think of the whole Cindy package, Fidel?

"heh heh. Bourgeois Blondes are very very good to feed the revolution."

Folks? My friends? Did you ever wonder that the reason everyone is talking about what Michelle Obama thinks is because she can?

Tuesday, February 19

FYI tomorrow night.

Details here, and if your sky is cloudy you're outta luck. I think it was Copernicus who said, "No matter what happens with those pesky superdelegates, it's nice to know the planets are staying in their orbits."

Monday, February 18


Apparently according to Blogger I've surpassed my 1400th post. Others have been at this longer but dang thatzalotta writing n' stuff.

This is for my blog friend Qwerty, who is knowledgeable about David Lynch movies, to say the least...

Which David Lynch movie are you?

you are: elephant man
Take this quiz!

No video blogging today BUT a special salon tonight!

I'm still blogging for one more day from a secure undisclosed location where concerns over NSA handling of classified information governs all. So no video blogging today, as we know all about "Dick Cheney's Catalog of Venetian Blinds".

I'll be on an airplane back from Chicago tonight. (thanks much to Shakespeare's Sister for the partay. And it was great to meetcha too, Driftglass. We're all Spartacus.)

Since I won't be able to skype, tonight's salon will be hosted by Cap'n Dyke with assistance from Comrade Kevin. Here's the link but if you're a regular you should just be able to sign in. Have a wonderful salon and I'll be there next week. xoxo

Sunday, February 17

Glenn Beck? You missed the most important thing!

Dear Glenn Beck:

We female left wing bloggers really love you. I read Crooks this afternoon, and it's like, free posts for a week!

So what if the last time you had an honest to god date musta been like, the Nixon administration.

I mean, you know, in addition to me being an ugly progressive who has no hope of going to heaven?

And I STILL wouldn't let you buy me a drink. Ever.

Yet, I can't buh-leeve you forgot that "and they're sluts" part, you playa you!

On the whole Obama cult thang...

Oh shut up.

There are people in this country who think their vote on American Idol counts more than their vote for President. It takes pizazz to get them out of the farking drive-through and off their stoopid Ipods long enough to cast a goddamn ballot. If they need to feel good for all the wrong reasons to vote for a Democrat, even a dishwater Democrat (yeah, I said it), then go with God and onward, activists.

Still, "Barack Obama is your new bicycle dot com" is pretty funny. Just click this link and then click the phrases to reload, to find all the reasons you should rilly rilly luuve Obama. My personal favorite, natch:

Saturday, February 16

Saturday Song

Blogging from a secure undisclosed location, so let's have some Julie London this morning.

Thursday, February 14

A soft interlude for Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day

I've sent many of you an email on this but it bears repeating. Carnival of the Liberals needs hosts for this year. If you have a liberal blog, do it. No blog is too small and actually, smaller blogs can get some traffic, attention, linky love, and general street cred linking ten blogs of the 23 or so that will be submitted to you. It's not difficult at all. Please sign up for a date and do it. And thanks.

UPDATE: Chris in Seattle asks specifically what is involved. Here is my experience with it:

You sign up for a specific date to run your carnival. Carnivals run every two weeks, usually on Wednesdays but sometimes carnivals are late** due to life interfering with blogging (never happens at MY house but wev).

Starting two weeks before your date you will receive emails with links to posts that people have submitted to the carnival. My understanding is that Leo, the guy coordinating all of this, would like to see more themed or issue oriented carnivals but that is up to you as host. If your blog is about Iraq stuff you could have a peace carnival of the liberals, for instance.

At some point before the date of the carnival you read all these great posts that have been sent to you. The cool part of the carnival is that this carnival thing has a cut and paste post with all the links to all the submissions for you to start with. You have to pick ten posts, and trust me narrowing it down is the hardest part of the whole exercise.

You then cut and paste the post into your post window and customize it, deleting all the links but the ten you selected and prettifying the post, etc. I went whole hog and did a limerick version for COTL 33. I suspect, though I haven't been told, that Carnival of the Liberals is "English Only" so don't try to write it in Messican, we'll put up a wall around you.

**You actually get bonus points for posting your carnival on time. Really.

Wednesday, February 13

Fun with Math!

Without calling them "Ike-ettes" (don't you dare), do the math:

age of backup singer #1 + age of backup singer #2 + age of backup singer #3 (IS LESS THAN) Tina's age.

On their birthdays this year:

Beyonce - 27.
Tina - 69.

Bless her gorgeous legs...It's called being "one hell of a woman" and she does it well.

Is it just me?

Am I the only one who saw this on the grocery store shelf and thought, "OMG, they're trying to serve my kids baby seal meat for breakfast!"

Senator Clinton, my sympathies, really. No one thinks it's over yet. Except Obama won the majority of white men in Virginia. Women in Maryland went for Obama 59-38. Okay. It looks bad. One of your supporters found a silver lining, though. The dearth of primaries (only one, Wisconsin) between now and March 5 means, and yes, this is a cut-and-paste quote from someone who really wants you to win:

Obama's momentum gets stopped without more victories to rack up.

If I were in El Paso, Howard Dean and I would happily buy you a seal-free breakfast.

Tuesday, February 12

Almost forgot...

Happy Darwin Day.

An appropriate use of "pimp out"

Above is the President Bo$$ of Blue Cro$$ President n CEO S-C-to-tha-izzott P where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin' Serota.

As Pimp Daddy Serota puts it (well, I ran his shit through Gizoogle but we keepin' it more fo' real that way, muthafuckka)

The incentives in our system must be changed instead of encourag'n more services from tha streets of tha L-B-C, who should be rewarded fo` deliver'n high-qualizzles care, specially fo` tha ho-slappin' crazy ass nigga of Americans wit chronic illnesses keep'n it real yo. Shot Calla n provida must have access ta tha 411. Wanna be gangsta need ta kizzle how much they is mobbin' fo` they healthcare. It don't stop till the wheels fall off.

Now before you think I'm gettin' all racist and shit let me explain what I actually found at BCBS's website.

Patients are called "consumers."
Doctors and hospitals are called "providers."
Blue Cross and other corporate insurers are called...wait for it..."stakeholders."

And Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton and Senator Barack Obama are the "stakeholder's" mutha fukkin' hos. Both of them.

Don't get all high-minded with me about how Senator Clinton has always had her heart in the right place and worked within the political system to get as much coverage for as many people as possible. And don't wave healthcare in my face as a reason to vote against Obama or debate mandates with me because I know that shit, Mister Krugman. This country health insurance system sucks shit from the hole on the floor when you unscrew the toilet bowl because of greed and that is a moral issue we will never live down until we change it. We're not going to get real reform from either of the remaining Democratic candidates or from Congress (aka make me laugh), and we all know the reason why:

In 2006, the insurance industry contributed $30.8 million to federal parties and candidates, with two-thirds of those donations going to Republicans. AFLAC Inc., the National Assn. of Insurance and Financial Advisors (NAIFA) and Blue Cross/Blue Shield were the industry’s top contributors in 2006.

I guess we should focus on the fact that two-thirds of the insurance industry pimp money went to Republicans. So from this particular pimp, the Democrats only got ten million dollars, which means, what? They're not this particular pimp's favorite whores? They don't get as much attention from the pimp? They have more better pimps in some other big moneyed special interest? Whatever.

A badge of honor or just shoot me?

I did really, really well until the questions started looking like this:

Monday, February 11

Salon tonight 9 Eastern

Blue Gal Salon 2/11 hosted by

Join now

Chat about what's on your mind. More about public chats.

Dear Chicago:

Your temperature is missing a digit.

(I hope it warms up for you really, really soon. xoxo)

Blue Gal Vlog 2/11

Less than five minutes today because everybody's busy. If you haven't seen a video by Pam Atlas, here is one. Also, I say here that I am responding to something on her video blog which is not accurate I'm actually responding to this post on her blog.

I have had a habit in the past of not linking her but that has changed after reading that post.

Sunday, February 10

The Euphemism Contest

Where you can win...the honor of winning.

I cracked up at a statement in a recent New Yorker about one of the "guests" at Obama's poker games when he was a State Senator in Springfield Illinois:

Yet, even with the beer drinking and cigarette smoking, there were unspoken rules of conduct. When a married lobbyist arrived at a Springfield game with a person described as

“an inebriated woman companion who did not acquit herself in a particularly wholesome fashion,”

Obama made a face indicating that he wasn’t pleased. Link says that the lobbyist and his date were “quickly whisked out of the place.”

Your mission for this contest is to write a sentence about the election race, Republican or Democrat or both, which is a complete euphemism. Leave your entry in comments below. The winner will be announced sometime on Wednesday, February 20.

Thanks for my Meez.

Thanks much to a long-time reader. You're sweet. But then of course I hadda go play with the app.

Congratulations, Senator.

And now, a little more about rolling back Presidential power, please.

Saturday, February 9

Presented without comment.

Except to say that "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Understanding Intelligent Design" is amazingly not a photoshop:

Saturday Song

I've never seen anything like this. She shure can pluck the strings....Lindsay Mac:

Well, duh...

You Go For Brains!

You want a guy with a big... brain. And of course it would be nice if he were a total hottie, but good looks actually bore you if they don't come with intelligence. Is he well-read? Does he get your pop-culture references? Does he know the difference between Bill Kristol and Billy Crystal? Is he afraid of big words? Has he ever, you know, voted Republican?

Is he funny and smart? If he turns on your brain, your heart is sure to follow!

Friday, February 8

What we're talking about when we talk about fuck...

No, ma hunnies, we're not talking about this, which for some odd reason is called "the Foreman Grill position". Wev:

No. I'm talking about "fuck." The word. We bloggers use it. A lot. Why?

Fuck is the word that works when writing about Bush, Cheney, Rice, Rove, Iraq, Fox, Chris Matthews, Chris Wallace, McCain, Rumsfeld, Lieberman, Corporations, Health Care, Congress, and the music industry. Not to mention Republican Evangelicals.

Did I leave a few out? Fuck.

We say fuck because we can, because like fucking itself it feels good when you do it right (and there's really no wrong way to do it), and most importantly, because it is the right word at the right time and we bloggers are all about the writing. As Whiskyfire points out in what I think will be one of the top five posts in the entire blogosphere for 2008,

None of this [blogospherian success] would have been possible if we weren't willing to say "fuck" a lot, though -- an important point which is often glossed over. Somebody had to say that the war was a stupid fucking idea, for instance. Because, you know, it was a stupid fucking idea (as was the bankruptcy bill and telecom immunity), and yet the media (including, shamefully, the NYT) just sort of forgot to point this out.

So we say fuck in part to distinguish ourselves from the mainstream media. Corrente's very useful glossary of liberal invective makes the point very succinctly:

Fuck - Our guarantee to you that the post containing this term is not Corporate or Government propaganda.

So sometimes fuck is just used as invective and sometimes, well, we actually are talking about fucking, the actual sexual act. Usually when we're talking about actually fucking, though, we're talking about Republicans/conservatives fucking and we're laughing at them. Because one of the really fun things about fucking is that we liberals know that conservatives are fucking and they can't talk about it like we can. It takes enlightenment to distinguish morality from humanity and decide that fucking is something humans do and that fucking is not necessarily a bad thing in and of its own self. But conservatives are all repressed about fucking so we can have a lot of fun with them. When a blogger can TAG A POST

"Gay Republican sex in a shithouse with falafels diapers and loofahs,"

and not break a writers' block sweat, have the post make total sense, AND most importantly be factually accurate, we know we're having something called fun. Notice the blogger here is talking about at least four specific conservatives and you don't need a map or guidebook to know exactly who they are. That's fucking brilliant.

Some bloggers might argue that we don't HAVE to use the word fuck, either stooping to talk about Republican fucking, or using fuck as an invective, in order to blog. That's true. But where's the fun in that? To paraphrase something I wrote (okay, stole from The Onion, but still) at The Aristocrats:

I know a lot of fuckwads, you know, "integrity bloggers," who wouldn't do fuck-all about this predicament, just fuck off for a while and wait for the whole thing to blow over. But you see, that's just not this bloggerfucker's style. What the fuck ever happened to accountability? The blogosphere can be a real fuck, sure, but we fucking finish what we start, and not just when we're blogging, if you get my fucking drift. Any fuckhead integrity blogger who thinks I should fucking walk away from the fuckface issues and ditch the potty mouth is a fucking fucktard and I'll say it to his fucking face, the fuckface.

The great thing about blogging is, we don't really give a fuck. The MSM can fuck us around, but they know not to take it too fucking far. You know why? Because you don't fuck with fuckers, that's why. And if you fuck with the fucking blogosphere, you'll end up being the fuck that gets fucked.

So I'm sitting here and fuck, how do I end this post? Fucking Matt Damon is too recent. The classic lexicon youtube on fuck everybody's seen, and if you've read to the end of this post you don't need it. Most of you have probably seen this, too, but it makes my point rather well. You see, Quentin Tarantino is a fucking good writer, and Pulp Fiction is his masterpiece, in my fucking opinion. Enjoy:

Thursday, February 7


It's not strep, and I paid a 25 dollar copay (not to mention the outrageous monthly check I make to Blue Cross) to be told this by an intern.

I actually think the 25 bucks alone is a good deal. And I don't mind getting swabbed by a kid, either, provided she is competent to read the test results.

Middle class people with upper respiratory stuff should be able to just pay 25 bucks, get a test, get a drug, and get out. But profit for big pharma and big insurance makes it so complicated.

Then the real doc says a lot of her patients have to pay a forty-five dollar copay. Way to go, "insurance." Charge almost as much as a tank of gas to see a doc and health care costs will go down because people won't see a doctor when they're sick.

Don't get me started about lower income people who can't afford Comtrex.

We're seriously fucked up in this country.

Wednesday, February 6

What I'm giving up for Lent

I'm not going to fantasize about having sex with Gabriel Byrne for the next forty days.

But seriously... my favorite way someone else celebrated Lent was to give up noise. Radio and TV and whatever else she could turn off. During a heated campaign season that is not bloody likely for me, but I will try to be more aware of just how much quiet I can stand.

Giving up sloth is another good one.

And combining those two I'm going to find fifteen minutes a day to sit away from computer and knit. Maybe in silence maybe with music I'll see.

Anyone else giving up something or commemorating a season? Share below in comments and thanks.

Blue Gal? You're a Bad Democrat, No Pony panties

This post pertains just to the Democratic Ballot in Alabama. I didn't vote Republican just to be cute, and that couldn't have happened anyhow because the 70 year olds watching the ballot boxes would not have allowed it. I had the word "peace" on my t-shirt and goodness knows that means there was more suspect about me than just what's in my panties at that point.

In addition to voting for a Democratic Presidential candidate you have to select 8 of their delegates, up to four women and four men. The lists are separated by gender so yes you vote for four "female Obama / Clinton / Edwards / Richardson** delegates" and four "male Obama / Clinton / Edwards / Richardson** delegates".

**there are no female and only three male Richardson delegates on the Alabama Democratic ballot as if you care.

Separating the genders is just like the Taliban, innit? I think calling Alabama, Talibama, is kinda funny. Then I remember I live here.

Then there's this boolsheet, which I cut from this sample ballot but is on the ballots for each county here:

By submitting a completed Democratic ballot you promise to aid the nominee of the party no matter even if it's that godless commie Dennis Kucinich! Or someone who doesn't wear a flag on his lapel! Or...a woman!

Oh nevermind one Democratic operative here said it's "probably not enforceable."

Memo to the Alabama Democratic Party: Fuck you and your state party Mastercard.

Update: The Alabama results are in and depending on our ballot, we either voted for the colored fella (people here who've evolved a bit just say "we're not ready for Obama") or on the other ballot we voted for a reasonable facsimile of Jesus Christ his own self. And which party you chose depends entirely on whether you care if your candidate wears an American flag on his lapel.

(The facsimile of Jesus does.)

Tuesday, February 5

Monday, February 4

Salon tonight 9 Eastern

Blue Gal's Salon 2/4 hosted by

Join now

Chat about what's on your mind. More about public chats.

Vlog 2/4

Lurleen Wallace - "Let George Do It" Time Magazine article.

Lurleen's wikipedia page.

Hillary Clinton is running as her own candidate and not as Mrs. Bill Clinton. I still think it's important that no one voting think they're getting a twofer, no matter who they are voting for.

Sunday, February 3

In addition to Blogroll Amnesty Day part two...

A fellow blogger was so bold as to contradict me when I insisted upon the existence of one "candlelight salad," consisting of a banana, (and please use the straightest banana you can find no wierd kinks or blemishes, please) sitting on a bed of lettuce and standing up in the middle of a canned pineapple ring. The mayonnaise dollop on the top is supposed to simulate "wax" and the cherry (or pimento if you lack a sweet tooth) is the "fiery wick."

This was apparently a big hit amongst the "ladies who lunch" crowd in the 1920's.

There is no way I could eat that, let alone make it.

In addition to Blogroll Amnesty Day...

It seems everybody's doing this "what book are you" quiz thingy. I like it 'cause there's no tagging:

You're Babar the King!

by Jean de Brunhoff

Though your life has been filled with struggle and sadness of late, you're personally doing quite well for yourself. All this success brings responsibility, though, and should not be taken lightly. Life has turned from war to peace, from damage to reconstruction, and this brings a bright new hope for everyone you know. These hopeful people look to you for guidance, and your best advice to them is to watch out for snakes. You're quite fond of the name "Celeste".

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Happy Blogroll Amnesty Day

Happy Blogroll Amnesty Day! Today is the day the small blogosphere celebrates itself by giving each other a little lurve. I'm going to pick just a couple bloggers to mention but in my ever expanding blogroll is over there (yeah every time I try to cull it down I wind up adding a few more because "oh wow they're good writers and they've been at this for a while now so yeah they should get a spot").

and Jon Swift are the honchos running this pony show.

So go visit fellow bloggers
after the bridge,
200 millionth weblog,
Polite Company, and
Carpe You Some Diem!.

Not to get all mushy here, but do you know how fucking great it is to be here in the blogosphere? Take a moment. Take it in. Today's the day. And thanks.

The graphic below is by Skippy, the one above is by Zencomix. Both have given permission to steal.

Saturday, February 2

Re saving your war in an emergency....

In the event that giving up neocon power becomes necessary, oxygen masks will drop from the compartment above your House seat. Put on the nearest mask and breathe normally. If seated with a war, see to your own mask first, and then assist the war.

If you have two or more wars, choose which war you like best and assist that war first.

Friday, February 1

Snow in Jordan

Snow In Jordan 21 Jan 2008 - The best home videos are here

It's funny two Saturdays ago there was a storm just like this in Birmingham and people took video of it there and then, too. And it only lasted a couple hours in both spots.

In Ramallah, residents were surprised to see snow when they woke up. For some, it was their first time.

"I'm originally from Gaza where snow never falls," said Bothaina Smairi, 28, who was out in the snow taking pictures. "The white snow is covering the old world and I feel like I am in a new world where everything is white, clean, and beautiful," she said.

"I am just astonished with the snow. When I saw the snow this morning, I felt happy, my heart was laughing," said Mary Zabaro, 17, a student dressed warmly in a red hat and pink scarf.

In Amman, children sledded on inflatable tubes and plastic bowls as snow plows tried to open streets clogged with one foot of snow.

My 5yo daughter here in Alabama put snow in a cereal bowl to "save" it.