Why Blue Gal is against global warming

Blue Gal has been invited by Henry (ooh, is it Baby Henry? I looove Baby Henry!) to join a virtual march against global warming. er. Okay. That way, I won't have to expel emissions by driving to the march. (Well, like most sentient creatures, Blue Gal does occasionally expel emissions on foot, but so far bgalrstate.blogspot.com is a fart joke-free zone, so let's keep it that way, kay?)

Any hoo, those of you who want to join me against global warming may do so here. (Thank me for not making a deposit in your email box.)

They asked Blue Gal why she was joining the march. Well, it's not 'cause Robert Kennedy Junior is such a hottie. No, Blue Gal reserves hottie activism for Brad Pitt (see banner ad on the sidebar below), who, by the way, she totally forgives for the leaving that low talent tv actress for the second* hottest soul mama on the planet.

Anti-global warming is a no-brainer, isn't it? Oh, that's why Blue Gal joined. Because, well, so is our President.

*readers of Blue Gal ain't askin' who the first is...

Dammit, Blue Gal likes Ike

"Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. There is a tiny splinter group, of course, that believes you can do these things. Among them are...a few other Texas oil millionaires, and an occasional politician or business man from other areas. Their number is negligible and they are stupid."
- President Dwight D. Eisenhower, 11/8/54

They also happen to be in charge of the whole damn country in 2005.

Blue Gal sends a smooch to David Sirota.

Please update your bookmarks/favorites!

Blue Gal has moved. The new url is

http://bgalrstate.blogspot.com

[Bloglet Subscribers will still get their subs at the new addy.]

This way, a certain state board of education will never find her.

Thanks much,

Blue Gal

Oh, all right, one more message to the State Dept of Education:

A peek inside Blue Gal's email...

So Blue Gal's readin her email and these two thangs just caught her brain at exactly the same time and she's thinkin, coincidence?

"Last Sunday, Pat Robertson went on national television to say liberal judges posed a greater threat to America than the Civil War, the Nazis or "a few bearded terrorists who fly into buildings."

And then Blue Gal got an email regarding this pleasant summer read. Mebbe Blue Gal will send a copy to Pat Robertson. [Be sure to read the Publisher Comments, folks.]

Doesn't anyone remember when Poppa Bush told Robertson to put up or shut up during the 1988 primaries?

We must have faith, though. Look at what's happening to our dear friends at ClearChannel. Evil will destroy itself...watch the money, people.

Now, children, there's no need to get nasty...

Three children who need to be in Blue Gal's time-out chair:

1. Sen. Salazar, when you say Focus on the Family is the antichrist, please don't back down so quickly. You may have been right the first time, and Blue Gal is prone to whiplash.

2. We don't know when you did this, Mr. President, but it was on camera. You're in time out. It was long ago? So were those pictures of Terri Schiavo smiling that were shown non-stop on Fox, Mr. President.



3. Whoever designed this. Yes, I know. Mommy laughed. That doesn't mean it's funny.

Screened?

"Okay boys, I've got my Daisy Duke's riding my crotch, since that's the universal signal for "female looking for love" but ooh, I must peek through the blinds while pointing my ass to the camera to signify my hope that there's no felons or marrieds answering my ad." They can screen for felons and marrieds but somehow forgot to screen their ad agency for intelligence.

And whenever she is tempted to feel jealous at the beautiful young bodies of this world, Blue Gal reminds herself that she has degrees from places this girl can't spell.

How could we make this stuff up?

Bill Frist, that erring on the side of life hero in the Terri Schiavo case, actually spent his years at Harvard Medical School pretending to adopt cats from the Humane Society and then killing them with his own medical experiments.

Wanna read the sick details? Here.

Blue Gal now orders everyone on the planet to refer to Bill Frist as "that cat killer."

And Blue Gal has one other question, people: Have we landed on another planet and we just didn't notice?

Oooh ma gawd...

Blue Gal smells a tipping point. John Kerry channels Jim Wallis and it's almost a Morning in America moment.

Watch the video here. How many "values" did you count?

And is Tom Delay just, gosh, so Nixonian? I mean, Blue Gal thought John Dean was sexy when she was ten years old!

Who said this wasn't gonna be fun, kids? We are watching the Repubs flush themselves...this once-every-thirty-years comet doesn't come along often enough, so don't miss it! This is gonna delay (no pun intended) old Daniel Schorr's retirement another five, betcha.

Blue Gal's new bumpersticker. Okay, I created it myself in Word:

One more Yankee transplant, gay-loving,
weak defense, big spending liberal for Jesus.

Should go over real big here in Birmingham, Alabama.

Sorry, I like my Catholicism over easy.

Blue Gal was feeling pretty good when she got an email (fer real) from her buddy Michael Moore, ya know, just checking on me and wondering what his next step should be (fer real). The text of his email is as follows

Friends,

How's it going? Ready for the next step?

Let me know what you've been up to and any ideas you have about what our next move should be (write me at the addresses below).

Meanwhile, I'll be in conclave this week handing out goodie bags and running for pope. Wish me well!

Yours,

Michael Moore
MMFlint@aol.com
Mike@michaelmoore.com
www.michaelmoore.com

Oh Mike honey, what happened? Fahrenheit 9-11 condoms in the goodie bags? What were you thinking?

Blue Gal was so hoping for a laid back church, ya know, follow up John Paul with a finger snappin' Pope George Ringo, with sidebets on Pope Giblets.

But this! Benedict the Sixteenth and he's like, from something outta Hogan's Heroes? A friendly Nazi? Bavarian? and um, stricter than Sister Mary Queen of Hearts back at Our Lady of Perpetual Brainwashing? Off with their heads theology?

Sweet Jesus. And ya know Blue Gal means that literally.

Are we having immigrant problems yet?

Memo to those wacky Minutemen:

Ya know, everything would be much better in this country if the natives had spent more on border control and had stronger anti-immigration policies.



See the full size map here.

Best question I've heard this week.

....how about "erring on the side of life" by bringing our soldiers safely home from Iraq?

Blog de la Resistance is after my own heart. She's a knitter who romances an old fart Norwegian, too. My missing evil twin, n'est-ce pas?

She and I will have to fight over the 'evil' part on a later post.

Confrontations and delay, er, deLay

Blue Gal had a confrontation with a co-worker over the whole Schiavo thang, and it just ticked her off until the co-worker said Fox News was a "balancer" with _all_ the other news media. Then Blue Gal noticed co-worker's skull was empty, and she stopped being mad all of a sudden. Hmm.

The Raisin has the privilege of not associating with many skull empties. One of his associates recently emailed him:

I tend to agree with you that any announced effort by DeLay or others to curb court jurisdiction, or to reallocate between state courts and the feds, will not get off the ground... And there may be another reason. Even DeLay has to realize that any in-depth discussion of the judicial function -- on cable, in the papers, or in other forums -- is likely over time to educate the American public about the legitimate role of the courts, in both common law and constitutional adjudication, and eventually would reveal the ad hoc lunacy of what Frist and others (including some Dems) tried to pull off recently. I may be naive in my belief that the marketplace of ideas, when dealing with accurate information and composed of more that sound bites and shouting, ultimately generates good sense in the American people. I question whether DeLay would want to take that risk. I think you're right; he and others will ratchet up the demagoguery of judicial selection so that they can throw around accusations about judicial activism, without generating careful inspection of who the real activists were this last time around: certainly not the judges!

Blue Gal does not think Raisin's friend is naive at all. It may take decades, but we cannot be outFoxed forever. And we activists are not sitting on our skulls (or in front of our televisions) while we are watching for the long cold night of shame that awaits our nation.

Blue Gal's been busy...

Blue Gal has not posted in a while, as she has been busy travelling to see Raisin relatives in South Dakota.

She has also been in mourning. Lew Alquist, well, I've loved him since I was thirteen years old. Forgive me, Lew, I just can't find the words.

Lew would have found dark humor in the Terri Schiavo case. He did not believe in any dichotomy between man and machine, and his message at work said he brought in food and water for the answering machine...

The Atlanta-based 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals said it best on this one:

...in a scathing attack on politicians who got involved in the case, the court added that the White House and lawmakers ``have acted in a manner demonstrably at odds with our Founding Fathers' blueprint for the governance of a free people - our Constitution.''

I just wish those judges could put Fox News off the air as an unconsitutional public menace. But as Fox management would be quick to point out, there is that first amendment thang, isn't there? Well, maybe Blue Gal doesn't love freedom, didja ever think of that, huh? At least Blue Gal thinks freedom of speech should not apply to lying and exploiting, plus anything related to Michael Jackson.

Don't worry so much, Mr. President

Dubya is trying to get us "younger" workers worried about Social Security. Blue Gal gave up thinking she's gonna see any FDR style check years ago. That's fer what she married the Raisin.

Ooh ooh. Young workers should be allowed to "cash in" on the stock market with their "guaranteed" benefit? Huh? You mean like when the tech bubble burst in 2001?

Interesting that 2001 was the exact year Congress allowed younger workers to invest in the stock market with tax deferred Roth accounts, so, um, I think we've covered that, Mr. President.

Blue Gal is amazed. Even most Americans are smart enough to see through this one.

C'mon, let's go outside....

Repeat after Blue Gal:

Bono does not need to be President of World Bank.
Al Franken does not need to be Senator from Minnesota.
Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11 does not need an Oscar.

And Jesus Christ does not need to be on the State House walls.


Why, oh why, when we find someone who is actually telling the truth, do we need so desperately to legitimize him or her? Jesus did not, repeat, NOT, join Pilate's cabinet, for crissake. I mean, for Christ's sake.

C'mon, let's go outside...

5 to 4? I'll take it.

I'll take more of those 5 to 4 decisions if they turn out like this one: Source: The Washington Post care of sojo.net

"Our determination finds confirmation in the stark reality that the United States is the only country in the world that continues to give official sanction to the juvenile death penalty."

- U.S. Supreme Court Justice Anthony M. Kennedy, writing in the court's decision to abolish the death penalty for juvenile offenders. The decision cancels the execution of 73 people who committed their crimes before age 18.

And by the way, look here at all them...dare I say it? BLUE STATES!!! But what's that big ugly white blob at the bottom center? Oh, it's Texas. You dems better keep fighting those judicial candidates, boys, or Blue Gal's gonna hafta smack.

Jim Wallis and how the left can be right again.

Jim Wallis, in an open letter to Chuck Colson [Blue Gal is not gonna news Google to find out what that debate was all about] said,

I challenge Democrats on abortion, and I challenge Republicans on war and poverty. In a recent interview with Christianity Today, I said: "It's important for the Democrats to change the way they talk about a moral issue like abortion, to respect pro-life Democrats, to welcome them in the party, and to talk first about how they are going to be committed to really dramatically reducing unwanted pregnancies - not just retaining the legal option of abortion, which Democrats are going to do, because that's part of their plank." But I also said, "My hope is that Republicans can broaden their conversation about moral values beyond just abortion and gay marriage to poverty and the environment and the ethics of war."

I believe deeply that Christians must seriously be concerned about everything that threatens the lives of people created in the image of God. Abortion is important; war and economic justice are also important.

Hellooooo, why are so many of Blue Gal's heroes so long winded? My Cliff's Notes version:

IF WE CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THE UNBORN, WHY ARE WE SPENDING ALL THEIR MONEY?
STOP THE BUSH WAR DEFICIT AND INVEST IN EDUCATION.

As Blue Gal asks Alabamians under her breath all the time...Think you very much?

Memo to the Democrats

TO: The Democratic Party
FROM: Blue Gal

Hiya Howard! Howzit hangin'? Hey, lissen up from the bluest gal in the Bible Belt. NOTHING will take the wind outta the sails of the religious right faster than a compromise on abortion. Lookee, our president has compromised already:

In an Oval Office interview on Jan. 26, Bush responded to a question as to what steps he planned to take against abortion, saying: “I think the goal ought to be to convince people to value life. But I fully understand our society is divided on the issue and that there will be abortions. That's reality. It seems like to me my job is to try to convince people to make right choices in life, to understand there are alternatives to abortion, like adoption, and I will continue to do so.”

Woo hee. Duzznt look like Dubya's gonna overturn Roe v. Wade. Makes sense, wouldn't wanna be paying for that flight to Norway if Jenna forgits to take her pill.

Oh my goodness gracious. Is Blue Gal sayin [gasp] Hillary is right? er, yep.

Oh, Memo to Hilary:

TO: Hilary Clinton
FROM: Blue Gal

Puh-leeze take a page outta Ted Kennedy's book and realize once and for all:

people.
hate.
you.

Stay in the Senate and don't even THINK about national office.

Love, (and give that philandering SOB cutie husband a big wet kiss from)

Blue Gal

Why I hate freedom....

The joke goes...

Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; its conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are a delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?

I hate freedom because it was used 20 times in the SOTU address, a code word for "what's good about America." So forget about Abu Garhib, Passaic County NJ, Guantanamo Bay...

I hate freedom because it does not apply to our enemies...

I hate freedom because without applying to all of us, it leaves none of us free...

America needs you, Jimmy Carter. Remember when we had a president who cared about human rights? Remember?

nuff said