No more surprise visits, okay? We won't drink the wine you brought, don't give a shit about that jar of homemade watermelon pickles that Lynne put up just last August. Just leave the fuckin' hostess gifts at home. You didn't need to show up to show you care.
We noticed you've got a stop-off at United Arab Emirates scheduled. Boy oh boy, those "moderate" Arabs sure do know deluxe hotel architecture, don't they?
Are you going there to take your daughter shopping, or just to check out the new headquarters? Oh, yeah, I guess you can't take a tax break business trip for Halliburton when the taxpayers are already funding your trip, forgot about that heh heh.
By the way, don't ever tell us that it's Game Time in Iraq. We might have to tell you to go fuck yourself, and we don't like that visual.
Step carefully, Mr. Vice-President, there's shit everywhere. Funny, 'cause we used to have decent sewage treatment in Baghdad before you showed up.