...how it's done.
Just my observation.
Sunday, August 31
It will happen at the same time you get laid at a Mensa Convention, Jonah.
What. The. Fuck.
[Palin]'s said nice things about Hillary. She's dropped the glass ceiling phrase a few times. Good, fine. But enough is enough. She needs to become more of a Margaret Thatcher type.
It's okay kids, she doesn't really mean it!
ABC:
McCain-Palin campaign spokesman Michael Goldfarb writes: "Governor Palin has never worked for any effort to elect Pat Buchanan -- that assertion is completely false. As Mayor of Wasilla, Sarah Palin did attend an event with Mr. Buchanan in her home town where reports described her wearing a Buchanan for President button. She wore the button as a courtesy to Mr. Buchanan and in an effort to make him feel welcome during his visit, but immediately sent a letter to the editor of her local paper clarifying that the button should not have been interpreted as an endorsement of any kind."
Yeah, it's always the buttons that lie...
Update: Oh that's much better...
The McCain campaign says that instead of supporting Buchanan -- or even McCain -- in 2000, Palin actually supported Steve Forbes.
McCain-Palin campaign spokesman Michael Goldfarb writes: "Governor Palin has never worked for any effort to elect Pat Buchanan -- that assertion is completely false. As Mayor of Wasilla, Sarah Palin did attend an event with Mr. Buchanan in her home town where reports described her wearing a Buchanan for President button. She wore the button as a courtesy to Mr. Buchanan and in an effort to make him feel welcome during his visit, but immediately sent a letter to the editor of her local paper clarifying that the button should not have been interpreted as an endorsement of any kind."
Yeah, it's always the buttons that lie...
Update: Oh that's much better...
The McCain campaign says that instead of supporting Buchanan -- or even McCain -- in 2000, Palin actually supported Steve Forbes.
Saturday, August 30
Three (blog?) rules I try to live by.
1. The power of away from. If I really dislike what a blog is saying, the tenor of the comments, or the way the blog author dresses (not usually a problem), I just don't read that blog. There is simply not a blog in the entire blogosphere that is an important enough news source that I can't go elsewhere.
When I hear someone complaining about the nastiness and tenor of certain apparent big name blogs, I raise an eyebrow and say "Really? People still read those?" And move on.
2. As a child of the Universe, I have no more or less power than anyone else to be a force for good or for evil. Therefore, I will not instruct any other blogger on how to "frame" Sarah Palin.
3. And finally, Driftglass said rule number three best:
When I hear someone complaining about the nastiness and tenor of certain apparent big name blogs, I raise an eyebrow and say "Really? People still read those?" And move on.
2. As a child of the Universe, I have no more or less power than anyone else to be a force for good or for evil. Therefore, I will not instruct any other blogger on how to "frame" Sarah Palin.
3. And finally, Driftglass said rule number three best:
Posting this everywhere.
Steve Benen in The Washington Monthly:
John McCain's top strategist has effectively told the New York Times that the Republican nominee for V.P. won't be ready on Day One, but that's fine, because McCain will probably live until 2013. Seriously. That's his argument.
John McCain's top strategist has effectively told the New York Times that the Republican nominee for V.P. won't be ready on Day One, but that's fine, because McCain will probably live until 2013. Seriously. That's his argument.
Proof-positive Satan has a travel agency.
And he has a very special venue for blogger marketing conventions.
It's called Orlando.
That's right, Orlando, Florida! Where we can
"connect with other social marketers and content creators"
"meet innovative and creative internet personalities"
and MOST IMPORTANTLY! "learn how to become a well-rounded blogger."
And I would bet the farm that Lucifer provided a very special bloggers-only discount to start the convention on September 11.
Okay! Watch this promotional video, and then find out how much they will pay me to attend this convention.
Oh sorry, that isn't enough money.
PS. After I wrote this post I searched around to see if this thing is actually for real. Apparently it is.
It's called Orlando.
That's right, Orlando, Florida! Where we can
"connect with other social marketers and content creators"
"meet innovative and creative internet personalities"
and MOST IMPORTANTLY! "learn how to become a well-rounded blogger."
And I would bet the farm that Lucifer provided a very special bloggers-only discount to start the convention on September 11.
Okay! Watch this promotional video, and then find out how much they will pay me to attend this convention.
Oh sorry, that isn't enough money.
PS. After I wrote this post I searched around to see if this thing is actually for real. Apparently it is.
Saturday Song(s)
Andy Williams is one of the top five underrated singers in the history of pop music. Here he is with Tony Bennett in 1965:
Friday, August 29
My immediate first thought when I heard it might be Palin...
...swear to Gd the first thing I thought was, "Princess Sparkle Pony's prayers have been answered." He's had fun with Condi and had to switch his satire to Ursula Plassnik (foreign minister for Austria) but now McCain has chosen the runner-up from Miss Alaska 1984 (no, really.) for his running mate! OMG!
I think Palin will be perfect Princess foil, as she sits on a bearskin sofa cover in front of a stuffed giant crab, wearing bad red sandals. (Damn PSP's on vacation until Tuesday.)
Bookmark him, ma hunnies. It's going to be a lovely seventy days or so over there.
She makes McCain look even older, doesn't she? And shut up, Christian Conservatives will NOT vote for a woman who was in a swimsuit competition. Betcha.
Uh oh.
We're having rather noisy thunderstorms here last night, so 4yo was up during the final minutes of Obama's speech.
She's changed her mind. She doesn't want a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese's, she wants it at Mile High Stadium.
____________
The speech was wonderful, populist, true. I still got a sneaking suspicion that the real winner last night, culturally speaking, was Simon Cowell. The American Idol-ization of our nation's presentation of itself is complete.
The other cultural winner? The late Jerry Falwell. Did anyone watch the convention via the Democratic Party feed? The post-speech invocation came right out of the Crystal Cathedral. There were actually Democrats (white Democrats, mind you, we STILL marginalize Black faith in this country) weeping and nodding with their hands open to the sky. At a Democratic Convention. You guys know I'm a believing Christian but this public display of affection was, well, distasteful. I liken it to a gay man sleeping with his mother's best friend's daughter. It was like we needed to hump the cross to prove something to some suspicious authority.
Thursday, August 28
The Don't Sugarcoat It Award for August 28
Goes to Twisty of I Blame the Patriarchy, because I totally agree. [emphasis mine]:
...a commercial for Pantene hair products wherein a chestnut-maned supermodel conversationally explains — you know, girl-to-girl — how easy it is to achieve her sexy hairstyle. First you buy six or seven Pantene products. You wash the hair with a few different kinds of Pantene stuff. Then you blow dry the hair “in sections.” Then you tease up the roots with, I suppose, a root-teaser. Then you put Pantene goop on it, and wind the hair around a dozen huge rollers. Then you eat 40 pounds of fudge. Then you take off the rollers and mess the hair up with your hands. Then you apply half a can of Pantene hairspray. I think there may have been another couple of Pantene-related steps in there somewhere, but who can remember all this shit without a stenographer?
Still, all that, and her hair just sort of looked like hair.
As usual with the don't sugarcoat its, leave your comments over there.
Yeah, yesterday I had to kind of hand it to Joe Scarborough.
At the little blog across the street.
Update: One of my faithful readers wrote me,
Woohoo! My two favorite things! Bathtubs and Cheetos!
Me: And what's really great is, outside of my Photoshop bathtub? My Cheetos are actually bigger than that. (rimshot)
Wednesday, August 27
One of my favorites...
Tuesday, August 26
Politics is not therapy.
Dear PUMAs: "The mind of a woman in love is operating at the lowest level of the intellect."
"Aw bullshit, Alfred Hitchcock, you misogynist prick!"
Alright! Alright! This is a good reminder for all of us, actually:
Politics is not therapy. It's not something that is conducted so people who live essentially comfortable lives can feel good about themselves and happy about outcomes...
It's about what kinds of lawyers are appointed to important positions in the Justice Department to defend the constitution and people's civil liberties. It's about what kinds of people will be working in Labor Department, either helping or hindering the creation of more unions. It's about who is at the Environmental Protection Agency, and whether the laws that protect poor communities from illegal toxic dumping will be enforced or ignored. It's about what the State Department and other agencies do to foster the development of democracy and human rights, or what they turn a blind eye to. And of course it's about the Supreme Court. And it's about a hundred other things just like these things.
Most Democrats, regardless of who they supported in the primaries, totally get this.
Hillary Clinton gets this.
Last night's Ted Kennedy moment really took me back, especially the signs that evoked 1980 so clearly. That was back in the day, brothers and sisters! Although I was still too young to vote, I made phone calls for the Kennedy campaign as a teenager.
1980 was quite a convention. Emboldened by late in the season primary victories, Kennedy and his supporters actually fought for an open convention, where delegates pledged to Jimmy Carter could switch to Kennedy, even on the first ballot. His amazing speech the second night of the convention left some of us liberals still feeling sour about Carter, which wasn't hard.
There were a lot of Democrats who didn't want to play nice in 1980. They voted for John Anderson, or stayed home.
Ronald Reagan was elected President that year.
If we win this year, I pray we'll have Hillary's speech tonight to thank for some of that. I hope won't sugarcoat it: "Support Obama or you are NOT supporting me and what I stand for." I hope she can become the conscience of the Senate that Ted Kennedy has been. And please God, make her drop the Zionist/AIPAC bullshit.
PS. Caroline Kennedy wins an award from me. Wolf Blitzer wants her to "walk us through" the vetting process that yielded Biden?
"No, I am not going to walk you through it. It was a confidential process."
Way to say fuck off to that annoying blowfish.
Ooh I found the vid, and the issue of 1980 is also deflected by her, heh:
Monday, August 25
Democratic National Convention Chat
Democratic National Convention Chat hosted by Blue Gal hosted by blue.gal.
Chat about what's on your mind. More about public chats.
We'll see how this goes. If people want to chat during and after the convention coverage I'm happy to organize that. If we've got just a few folks we'll just do it tonight only.
This is chat only no phone or extra equipment needed. And it's free.
Newcomers are very welcome. Download Skype here.
Blue Gal vlog 8/25/08
Tom Brokaw, I got the beginning of your life right here...
Skype Salon tonight and every night this week for the DNC. More on that later...
Sunday, August 24
Weighing in on Biden
I suppose I should weigh in on the Biden choice here.
I think it was a boring choice... and exactly what Obama should have done.
He did say "literally" too much, and there's the plagiarism thing, but really, can most Americans spell that word without looking it up?
Why Blue Gal, you elitist blogger, you.
He's an old white guy (check) and everybody knows who he is to the point of ennui. My point exactly. America has enough adjusting to do with Obama himself. I heard one lady citizen on NPR express disappointment about his not picking Hillary, and then she "literally" said, "I think it would have been so historic to have both a woman and a ("literally," she stumbled over the next word rather than paused)...um, Black person on the ticket." Sigh.
On topic, I think one of the reasons Hillary did not get the spot (and may have turned it down cold) is the completely different cultures of the two campaigns. Pop Quiz: Do you know who this person is?
Think about it for a minute. Now tell me who these people are:
Oh. And this person:
I'll bet regular readers of this blog can name at least two of the latter four shown above, and remember the interview with the last one and where he got the rum.
I had to Google to find a picture of number one, and then I was surprised (though I shouldn't have been, not at all) that he looks just like every pasty white guy I've ever had the privilege to sit beside in a bi-weekly IT staff meeting.
That's Obama's campaign manager David Plouffe. I get almost as many emails from him per week as I do from desperate Nigerian heiresses. And until this writing I really had no idea what he looked like.
To ask Hillary Clinton to jettison her posse in order to be Vice President would have been unfair. (But don't get me started about their culpability for her loss.) If she was asked, under those conditions, I'm sure she turned Obama down.
But the Obama campaign has not rolled this far to the White House with a lot of celebrity politicos riding the bus. And it can't start now. The decision to NOT choose Hillary was mutual, I'm sure.
Biden was the right choice. (yawn)
I think it was a boring choice... and exactly what Obama should have done.
He did say "literally" too much, and there's the plagiarism thing, but really, can most Americans spell that word without looking it up?
Why Blue Gal, you elitist blogger, you.
He's an old white guy (check) and everybody knows who he is to the point of ennui. My point exactly. America has enough adjusting to do with Obama himself. I heard one lady citizen on NPR express disappointment about his not picking Hillary, and then she "literally" said, "I think it would have been so historic to have both a woman and a ("literally," she stumbled over the next word rather than paused)...um, Black person on the ticket." Sigh.
On topic, I think one of the reasons Hillary did not get the spot (and may have turned it down cold) is the completely different cultures of the two campaigns. Pop Quiz: Do you know who this person is?
Think about it for a minute. Now tell me who these people are:
Oh. And this person:
I'll bet regular readers of this blog can name at least two of the latter four shown above, and remember the interview with the last one and where he got the rum.
I had to Google to find a picture of number one, and then I was surprised (though I shouldn't have been, not at all) that he looks just like every pasty white guy I've ever had the privilege to sit beside in a bi-weekly IT staff meeting.
That's Obama's campaign manager David Plouffe. I get almost as many emails from him per week as I do from desperate Nigerian heiresses. And until this writing I really had no idea what he looked like.
To ask Hillary Clinton to jettison her posse in order to be Vice President would have been unfair. (But don't get me started about their culpability for her loss.) If she was asked, under those conditions, I'm sure she turned Obama down.
But the Obama campaign has not rolled this far to the White House with a lot of celebrity politicos riding the bus. And it can't start now. The decision to NOT choose Hillary was mutual, I'm sure.
Biden was the right choice. (yawn)
Yesterday in Springfield, Illinois.
They come with a free safety pin.
Arrived at the venue at 11 as instructed, waited 50 minutes in the Springfield humidity, and was placed in the Press Viewing Area, which is only one step up from the plebes but a step is a step. Not wanting to depend on whether bathrooms would be available I skipped lunch (and didn't drink nearly enough coffee) but at 12:50 I heard a guy say into his phone:
"Well, it's not gonna start until 2:15 and supposedly go until 3, but ya know...
...it's BIDEN."
Yeah.
So I went back to the press tent and asked about in-out privileges and they said yeah and I left the "secure" area for Robbies, a good pastrami sammich and a Bass later, I knew all was cool
because no less than five of Springfield's Finest decided to copy me and eat lunch on Golden Time.
And you can tell we're in a blue state happy spot because the bar at Robbies had on MSNBC.
Turns out, of course, that Tweety and KO had more than an hour to kill, too, but with deft assists from Keith's stable of sycophants and the semper paratus of Howard Dean, not to mention their own formidable gifts in the "Department of De Blah, Blah, Blah", I got to sit and refuel in air conditioning without missing a thang.
The speeches were fine, the sprinting on stage was fine, the masculine hug was fine, the wives were fine, the waves were fine.
The weather was hot.
And Mister Vice President needs to learn not to say "literally" so much. He literally broke my clicker counter.
Saturday, August 23
Presenting the Next President of the United States
(Not Actual Size)
Yeah Joe Biden's officialityism can just eat his ever fun-so-lovin' heart out.
Friday, August 22
That's not funny.
Conservative "blogger" Kathryn! Jean! Lopez! is upset that she has been asked to cover, rather than compete, in the "15th Annual Funniest Celebrity in Washington contest."
Thursday, August 21
Who would YOU pick?
So, if you were doing a fake text message to the cell phone zombies waiting for their exclusive (just like all their friends) peek at Obama's running mate, who would you choose?
Sad that the Fox News version lacked creativity:
(If you want to make your own Blackberry or Iphone, you can do it here.)
Sad that the Fox News version lacked creativity:
(If you want to make your own Blackberry or Iphone, you can do it here.)
Wednesday, August 20
Tuesday, August 19
Are you your stuff?
Since getting cable after over a decade without, I'm fascinated by a show on the Style Network called "Clean House." Clean House shows people who can't walk around their house because they are literally knee-deep in clutter.
The show's staff deals in a very pseudo psychological way with their issues, sells all their shit in a yard sale, and redesigns a new house for them.
But the problem is, people whose houses have seven sofas in the living room on top of the other, and that's really the way some of these houses are, (like the guy with four decades of newspapers in his apartment) these people have ISSUES. These are people in emotional crisis, and the show acknowledges that as much as they can in sixty minutes with commercials.
What I find fascinating is, often...the issue is...somebody DIED.
That's it.
Somebody DIED. (and look, this embed starts with a commercial, go figure!)
And the people in these houses walk around mazes four feet deep because they can't cope, won't deal, or forbid themselves to throw away ANYTHING that belonged to that person.
The worst case was one woman, I swear, who kept the mangled license plate of the car that crashed and killed her husband. And her walls were wallpapered with pictures of him. For years.
She had no other way to grieve.
So this show gets me thinking that our society teaches us all forever that we are what we BUY. So when someone dies it's all we can do to preserve that person's memory is keep the extra furniture. It's like these people have never heard of a thrift store truck. The show, I suppose, is exploitative; well, except that the family usually knows something is wrong and calls the show. They get new furniture...it's "queen for a day" redux, and someone takes part of the responsibility for throwing out stuff. They get useful help organizing. They have professional help for that, with lots of free advertising for The Container Store.
As one commenter at Salon said, the network exploits their madness but dresses it up to look like therapy. And the people are happier in the end, because they HAD to get rid of Granny's sofabed. For the show. FOR THE SHOW.
Which is what makes me go ick. 15 minutes of shame/fame, to show the world what a slob you were. And that some one else made you a nice home out of brand new furniture made in China because you finally coped with your grief.
And your house and therefore your life is all better in a 60 minute time slot.
So this post is not about reorganizing your house, but about death and loss and how we deal with it. Are we our stuff?
Since I divorced this spring, and moved out of a house that was NEVER mine, and into my own house with my own stuff, I have to confess that it's much more my home. But I would be horrified if someone decided after my demise to keep all my books/yarn/knicknacks and add my stuff to their place because they loved me and had no other emotional resources with which to honor me than to add my "stuff" to theirs.
And hey, I didn't use stuff to escape my situation, I used blogging. Because I am not my stuff. But I am my blog.
Monday, August 18
Salon tonight 9 Eastern
Free Skype Chat no headphones or telephoney stuff required. Just typing.
"It's Okay If You're a Republican":
A Case Study in Pictures.
"I told her with a little luck, she could be the only woman ever to serve as both the first lady and Miss Buffalo Chip.” [check]>>
<<"I told her with a little luck, she could be the only woman ever to serve as both the first lady and Miss Buffalo Chip.” [With a little luck you might get just a terrorist fist jab to the jaw, my friend.]
"I told her with a little luck, she could be the only woman ever to serve as both the first lady and Miss Buffalo Chip.” [check]>>
<<"I told her with a little luck, she could be the only woman ever to serve as both the first lady and Miss Buffalo Chip.” [OH PLEASE!]
Sunday, August 17
Saturday, August 16
Friday, August 15
Thursday, August 14
I know I know....
Keith Olbermann said "panties" last night.
About the ebay item where the cheated-upon wife sells a picture of the girlfriend's "huge" panties along with the "small" condom wrapper belonging to her soon-to-be ex-husband.
She's the wronged party in alla this, and Ebay revenge like that tastes sweet for a couple of fruit fly minutes. But when you go public like that about all the ways you were wronged, we learn more about you than about anyone else...
Gee, looks like a fat-bottomed girl made his rocking world go round, lady. And you spent twenty years with Mister Tinypecker, who risked his 20 year relationship with you to be with someone who looks like this...
You make fun of her figure, but who was let into your house specifically to take off the black lace panties?
But hey, you got...
...15 minutes of infamy through Ebay....
...the whole world knows that you have no dignity...
...all you got on your spouse and his lover are a few snide remarks about body shape on the internets...
...and by your own words we all know of your anger management style which includes the unique "throw his clothes on the rainy lawn gambit."
They flag people like you at E-Harmony, honey.
And Keith made you a "best person"? Note: So was Sean Hannity.
PS. A note on perspective to my fellow bloggers. The general rule is, it's always government officials over media idiots. Ergo, the US Attorney General is, because he has actual power, a bigger wanker than Sean Hannity.
And I can't wait for the Olympics to be over.
h/t G.B. and thanks for reminding me about Ingres.
About the ebay item where the cheated-upon wife sells a picture of the girlfriend's "huge" panties along with the "small" condom wrapper belonging to her soon-to-be ex-husband.
She's the wronged party in alla this, and Ebay revenge like that tastes sweet for a couple of fruit fly minutes. But when you go public like that about all the ways you were wronged, we learn more about you than about anyone else...
Gee, looks like a fat-bottomed girl made his rocking world go round, lady. And you spent twenty years with Mister Tinypecker, who risked his 20 year relationship with you to be with someone who looks like this...
You make fun of her figure, but who was let into your house specifically to take off the black lace panties?
But hey, you got...
...15 minutes of infamy through Ebay....
...the whole world knows that you have no dignity...
...all you got on your spouse and his lover are a few snide remarks about body shape on the internets...
...and by your own words we all know of your anger management style which includes the unique "throw his clothes on the rainy lawn gambit."
They flag people like you at E-Harmony, honey.
And Keith made you a "best person"? Note: So was Sean Hannity.
PS. A note on perspective to my fellow bloggers. The general rule is, it's always government officials over media idiots. Ergo, the US Attorney General is, because he has actual power, a bigger wanker than Sean Hannity.
And I can't wait for the Olympics to be over.
h/t G.B. and thanks for reminding me about Ingres.
Wednesday, August 13
A poem I wrote for Wednesday
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards. - Robert Heinlein
ABCDE poems. Five words per line, each word starting with A, B, C, D, E.
I heard my first one in Port Townsend at the Flying Karamazov/Chautauqua show (if anyone remembers the name of the poet please let me know. Thanks.)
For Joe Scarborough
Any blogger can develop enemies
Among big corporate devil elites.
Also, bloggers can't distinguish evil:
All bad condemned, Democrats even.
And bloggers cherish doing elegys
Against barely competent dopey electorates.
Are bloggers Cheetos-dust-eating
Assholes? But commenters don't equal
A blogger, certainly. Don't equate
Actual bloggers, Crooks, Drifty, Eschaton, [Fafblog]
Aristocrats, Blondesense, Chutney, Digby, even
anonymous bloggers cursing daily every
aggravation Bush can deign emit,
and boys culling dogshit. Every
actual blogger creates distinct, essential
Art. Bitchy commenting? DailyK eyeballs?
Approximate blogging? Crimy! Don't even
ask bloggers, cramming daily events
as bloggers can do, "Easy?"
A blogger can't do "easy."
-BG
ABCDE poems. Five words per line, each word starting with A, B, C, D, E.
I heard my first one in Port Townsend at the Flying Karamazov/Chautauqua show (if anyone remembers the name of the poet please let me know. Thanks.)
For Joe Scarborough
Any blogger can develop enemies
Among big corporate devil elites.
Also, bloggers can't distinguish evil:
All bad condemned, Democrats even.
And bloggers cherish doing elegys
Against barely competent dopey electorates.
Are bloggers Cheetos-dust-eating
Assholes? But commenters don't equal
A blogger, certainly. Don't equate
Actual bloggers, Crooks, Drifty, Eschaton, [Fafblog]
Aristocrats, Blondesense, Chutney, Digby, even
anonymous bloggers cursing daily every
aggravation Bush can deign emit,
and boys culling dogshit. Every
actual blogger creates distinct, essential
Art. Bitchy commenting? DailyK eyeballs?
Approximate blogging? Crimy! Don't even
ask bloggers, cramming daily events
as bloggers can do, "Easy?"
A blogger can't do "easy."
-BG
Tuesday, August 12
A voice you might recognize...
I'm not a big fan of Ralph Nader these days, but I think the political parties running and controlling access to the Presidential Debates is bullshit.
BTW, you might recognize the voiceover for the League of Women Voters rep at 1:24. :)
I also think Manila Ryce gets sexier with each passing month. I understand his current project, besides getting physically harassed by Convention Security on behalf of Nader, is attaining permissions from cute Baby Mamas to populate greater Los Angeles with his handsome spawn. Kudos!
[It's a good video with an important message about democracy-small-d, too. Thanks for making it, hon. xxx]
Monday, August 11
Skype Salon tonight 9 eastern
It's typing, not talking; no special equipment needed except computer and high speed internet. Hope to see you then.
Memo to Howard Wolfson
Thank you for your kind and intelligent comments. It's sad to think that if only John Edwards had been honest about his philandering (holy shit tell me Wolfson DIDN'T SAY THAT), America could have Hillary Clinton as President of the United States.
Howard, did you personally approve the
"Bill can't have any onion rings" advertisement?
The Celine Dion campaign song?
The "any nuclear option is not off the table" and "obliterate Iran" statements?
Hill-ar-ee for you and mee "Up With People" events?
The nefarious 3AM phone call ad?
"Shame on you, Barack Obama"?
You know, Howard, I like the way you think. If I was 22 instead of 45, if I didn't have 'I done birthed three babies' hips, and if I shaved 34 points off my IQ, I would be Miss Universe.
And I would also be from Venezuela.
Sunday, August 10
Add your prediction here...
What will be the next Enquirer story to break?
My contribution:
Vicky Iseman found alive, reveals all: I am Jon Benet Ramsey!
(Obvious, but hey. Even I have enough taste not to photoshop that one.)
And of course the real story is how they totally leave the McCain's alone with their crap...
Add your tabloid headline below...
My contribution:
Vicky Iseman found alive, reveals all: I am Jon Benet Ramsey!
(Obvious, but hey. Even I have enough taste not to photoshop that one.)
And of course the real story is how they totally leave the McCain's alone with their crap...
Add your tabloid headline below...
Saturday, August 9
Saturday Song
And I'll bet the people in attendence at this Letterman show didn't know the concert they were gonna get.
Friday, August 8
The only question I have about the Edwards thing.
That, and this one: David Gregory? Would you come a little closer over here so I can kick your bent over for Bush ass?
And thanks for letting me steal your idea, JH.
A prayer, or a prediction?
Dear Lord, may we, by your Grace, run a picture of every GOP House member and every GOP Senator up for re-election in a smiling photo op with George Dumbya Bush for ever and ever daily until November. Amen.
Bless your hearts, let's save us some Google:
Republican Senator Collins in red (yeah)
At the Presidential endorsement ceremony for Republican Senator Lindsey Graham**
(**Not for public use, but the AP can kiss my ass.)
John Sununu junior or the third or wev...
Lamar Alexander floated as a Bush running mate in 2000. Thank you, Jesus!
Oh, look.
"Poli-tech reporter for the Washington Times, Matthew Sheffield."
Okay! Let's all take a moment to reflect on what his career path had to look like. Exactly how many weeks ago was he updating anti-virus software from a drab cubicle at The Heritage Foundation?
Kudos on the promotion, Matthew! Now that you write about "poli-tech" for Moonie Times, you've been given an entire column to say that lefty bloggers use more profanity.
And, yesterday he got a message on his company i-phone:
Okay! Let's all take a moment to reflect on what his career path had to look like. Exactly how many weeks ago was he updating anti-virus software from a drab cubicle at The Heritage Foundation?
Kudos on the promotion, Matthew! Now that you write about "poli-tech" for Moonie Times, you've been given an entire column to say that lefty bloggers use more profanity.
And, yesterday he got a message on his company i-phone:
Thursday, August 7
Writing a novel with help from the interwebs?
James Morrow is writing a book about a nineteenth century contest to prove/disprove the existence of God. The book takes place in Brazil. You can read more about it here and the cool thing is, you can sign up at that same website to contribute ideas and information to the author that might help with the research for the book.
What's in it for you? Well, post your own creative project, novel, film, play, weight loss goal(kidding) etc. and find out who is out there to help you along. The idea behind ICrew is to get creative types working together on specifically outlined projects.
Another cool project there is a movie about "a troubled group of mill girls who return [in] 1912 to guide a bankrupt, modern-day mill owner when her future threatens their past." (I love stuff like that.)
[Full Disclosure I'm "officially" helping ICrew out with internet outreach in the hopes that I'll someday be invited to a Park Avenue writers' party attended by Wallace Shawn. Just saying. - BG]
Wednesday, August 6
Let's not get cocky, kids...
...but did I tell you guys I ordered an "Alabama for Obama" shirt and they're on backorder?
A big part of this election is going to be just how many African American voters are disenfranchised by the racist war on drugs.
That's because every single one that isn't disenfranchised is gonna be drinking BillO's motherfuckin iced tea at the polling place.
And frankly I don't think it would be a good thing for Obama to carry Alabama with an all black vote, which is what it would take. He's better off, as President, being elected by a wider cross section of voters.... 50 state strategy sounds good, and this may be a landslide, but unless the economy really tanks I don't have enough faith in white voters in the South to see Obama carrying the state of my former residence.
Tuesday, August 5
Way to whore out your wife, Senator.
"Um, Mister President? Slipping her the tongue is extra."
I just can't wait to watch the media ignore this one:
McCain felt so comfortable at the event that he even volunteered his wife for the rally’s traditional beauty pageant, an infamously debauched event that’s been known to feature topless women.
“I encouraged Cindy to compete,” McCain said to cheers. “I told her with a little luck she could be the only woman ever to serve as first lady and Miss Buffalo Chip.”
Presenting a new label for this blog:
Monday, August 4
We will NOT sing Happy Birthday Barack Obama at Skype Salon tonight.
Blue Gal's Salon August 4 hosted by blue.gal.
Chat about what's on your mind. More about public chats.
That is because Skype Salon is just typing, not singing or talking or anything that requires use of a headset. All you need is a keyboard and high speed internet.
Hope to see you there 9 Eastern for about an hour. (And Happy Birthday, Barack. Don't eat that red frosting. The dye in that crap'll make you mental. That's why she's called "crazy" Amy)
My kids are international strategists.
So we're driving to the home repair store (the one that did not pay for Bush's second inaugural) because we need a new bathroom sink in the children's bathroom. Nuff said.
There is nothing so enlightening as discussing world directions with those who are 4, 6, and 10.
"January comes after Christmas," says Junior Dude, 10. "But Bush's last day isn't until January 20th."
"Right." (Junior Dude has read mommy's coffee mug)
So then I tell my children that I wish Bush was out of office sooner and with that we start off on a series of "why's" that end up a discussion of Bush 43's obsessive interest in removing Saddam Hussein from office.
Dude: "Bush should have gone over to Iraq and killed Hussein himself instead of starting a whole war about it."
I really can't add anything more to that.
Sunday, August 3
Progressives make a list, and run away...
So The Nation wants me to sign an open letter to Obama telling him to be more liberal progressive. Yeah yeah I keep forgetting. And on the list of things Obama must somehow "commit" to is "universal healthcare," period, which could mean "everyone has to send a thousand bucks to Blue Cross/Blue Shield every month or it will be garnished from your WalMart wages, and hey, while you're at it, thank a liberal, you uneducated ingrate." Okay, it probably doesn't mean that. But still.
And then I get an email from United Progressives, who have decided to go way-cool radical and tell their "members" to opt out of "the system":
Yeah, right. And the person who wrote that is a bright, twenty-three-and-a-half year old semi-paid intern who secretly hopes, deep in his soul where no one can see, to follow in the career path of George Stephanopolous. And a great place to start is to Stick It to The Man.
There are a great many "swing voting blocs" competing with progressives, the least of which can combine and triangulate against us elitist latte drinkers, and gain many more votes via the tried-and-true "Anti-Intellectual Electoral College Brickbat Trick."
Here's the deal. Look carefully at the two progressive protesting guys below:
Can't tell the difference? Neither can the swing voters who will not pay attention to this election, any of it, until after Halloween, and will then make their decision based on whether they finally see Obama as teh hawt not-Negro-enough to be a threat, or as, well, you know, unsafe.
Might as well speak out. And let's make it single payer, not-for-profit healthcare. I'll even sign your open letter.
And then I get an email from United Progressives, who have decided to go way-cool radical and tell their "members" to opt out of "the system":
Are you sending your money to the ACLU? To MoveOn.org? Democracy for America? Stop. And don't send it to us, either. Stop trying to buy the politicians. That's what just a little of your money does. The rest goes to support the song-and-dance bureaucracy that buys politicians. You're just contributing to the corruption.
Unite. United, we don't need to call anyone. United, we don't need to buy anyone. We will have the power to elect. That's really what buys a politician. A politician only needs money to make a public appeal to get your vote. If progressives control the swing vote in any election, we control the election. That should make a politician pretty honest.
Yeah, right. And the person who wrote that is a bright, twenty-three-and-a-half year old semi-paid intern who secretly hopes, deep in his soul where no one can see, to follow in the career path of George Stephanopolous. And a great place to start is to Stick It to The Man.
There are a great many "swing voting blocs" competing with progressives, the least of which can combine and triangulate against us elitist latte drinkers, and gain many more votes via the tried-and-true "Anti-Intellectual Electoral College Brickbat Trick."
Here's the deal. Look carefully at the two progressive protesting guys below:
Can't tell the difference? Neither can the swing voters who will not pay attention to this election, any of it, until after Halloween, and will then make their decision based on whether they finally see Obama as teh hawt not-Negro-enough to be a threat, or as, well, you know, unsafe.
Might as well speak out. And let's make it single payer, not-for-profit healthcare. I'll even sign your open letter.
Saturday, August 2
Saturday Song
Mary J. can jus' go on with her ol' redeemed self.... It's 'cause she knows the meaning of this:
that she can write and sing this:
that she can write and sing this:
Blogger gets another chance....
This is the message I was waiting for. From Blogger Buzz:
While we wish that every post on this blog could be about cool features or other Blogger news, sometimes we have to step in and admit a mistake.
We've noticed that a number of users have had their blogs mistakenly marked as spam, and wanted to sound off real quick to let you know that, despite it being Friday afternoon, we are working hard to sort this out. So to those folks who have received an email saying that your blog has been classified as spam and can't post right now, we offer our sincere apologies for the trouble.
We hope to have this resolved shortly, and appreciate your patience as we work through the kinks.
I actually have LOTS of patience for tech types who have to face a problem like this. I've worked helpdesk. If your software fails on me (or in this case, a lot of my friends) and you let us all know you're sorry and working on it, then I'm willing to give you a chance to do that.
I moved the current contents of my blog to Wordpress as a backup to this blog. (good way to do a backup imo). If things here get too difficult I can move. But I actually like the old skool-ness of Blogger (especially since it doesn't crash all the time like it used to).
I hope this is my last tech post for a while. Now to post a Saturday song and spend the rest of the day housecleaning to good music.
While we wish that every post on this blog could be about cool features or other Blogger news, sometimes we have to step in and admit a mistake.
We've noticed that a number of users have had their blogs mistakenly marked as spam, and wanted to sound off real quick to let you know that, despite it being Friday afternoon, we are working hard to sort this out. So to those folks who have received an email saying that your blog has been classified as spam and can't post right now, we offer our sincere apologies for the trouble.
We hope to have this resolved shortly, and appreciate your patience as we work through the kinks.
I actually have LOTS of patience for tech types who have to face a problem like this. I've worked helpdesk. If your software fails on me (or in this case, a lot of my friends) and you let us all know you're sorry and working on it, then I'm willing to give you a chance to do that.
I moved the current contents of my blog to Wordpress as a backup to this blog. (good way to do a backup imo). If things here get too difficult I can move. But I actually like the old skool-ness of Blogger (especially since it doesn't crash all the time like it used to).
I hope this is my last tech post for a while. Now to post a Saturday song and spend the rest of the day housecleaning to good music.
Fix the blogs weekend
Lots of people having problems with IE, which I don't use unless absolutely necessary.
Got this through Crooks and Liars (they don't need a link from me and besides, I'm le tired):
apparently it's from here:
How to Fix the IE error on Wordpress, Blogger, and Other Sites
We removed the Sitemeter tracking code from our site and now the site is loading fine. If you need to remove this from your site, the code you're looking for is:
Got this through Crooks and Liars (they don't need a link from me and besides, I'm le tired):
apparently it's from here:
How to Fix the IE error on Wordpress, Blogger, and Other Sites
We removed the Sitemeter tracking code from our site and now the site is loading fine. If you need to remove this from your site, the code you're looking for is:
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