Zappadan promo spot. Feel free to use anywhere.

Saturday Song

The Don't Sugarcoat It Award for November 28

Dang it's been a long time since we had a Don't Sugarcoat It Award.

For those of you new to Blue Gal or who forgot, The Don't Sugarcoat It Award is for individual bloggers who write a post showing gifted prose and a flair for direct, frank, and occasionally, but not necessarily, obscene discourse.

I award these prizes when I find them, and you can't submit posts for consideration. It's a surprise to all of us that way.

Today's award goes to the beautifully-named blog Übermilf, for her lovely Thanksgiving-themed post, "Dear Fucking Assholes Who Write Gravy Recipes."

Not only is the post Don't Sugarcoat It worthy, I totally identify with her aversion to cooking organ meat.

And although Übermilf is writing about a bit of a turkey gravy crisis, you may be relieved to know that in a subsequent post, we find that at least two women in her holiday household were eventually drunk enough on martinis to make adequate gravy. That's exactly how it should be.

As is usual with Don't Sugarcoat It's, leave all comments over there. Thanks.

[Ubermilf is from Chicagoland, and has inquired about a midwest blogger meetup in 2009. If you're interested, let me know. I'm thinking spring break or early summer, and I'll organize it. bluegalsblog AT gmail]

Friday song

And remember, trials are proofs of God's care.

"It will be alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end." - Anonymous

All of my family members who have been sick or in the hospital had some good news this week. Our family has lots to be grateful for this year.

Happy Thanksgiving

Has anyone else seen these horrendous turkey cakes in their shopping excursions? What would possess anyone to make something like that?

I've so much to be grateful for this year. We all do. And I'm grateful for a day that is a reminder to pause and be grateful.

I hope all of you have a day full of love and gratitude.

xo BG

I just can't call him, "Barack." [BG video mashup]

We had quite a debate among the team members of the bigger blog yesterday. Some said it's anti-egalitarian to resist calling the President of the United States by his first name. I call bs on that.

I'm trying to get as much mileage out of the tag below before I retire it forever, I hope. But notice it doesn't say "George is such a goddamn fuckwad."

But which is the killing joke?

A. "The economy is so complex and problematic. I wonder what Jonah Goldberg proposes we do."

B. "The economy is so complex and problematic. I wonder what Monica Crowley's thoughts are on the subject."

C. "The economy is so complex and problematic. I wonder what ideas Glenn Beck has come up with."


My vote is with B. It makes me wanna die laughing.

9 days until Zappadan

Frank Zappa died December 4, and was born (earlier, they tell me) on December 21.

Two years ago, the blog known as The Aristocrats declared that December 4 through 21 should henceforth be known as Zappadan: the days of the year between death and birth, that ethereal time when there was no Frank, so we must celebrate him to keep his spirit safe until his birthday again.

Or it's just a great excuse for a party that has nothing to do with the greed and debt festival known as Christmas in America. In any event, it's a labor of love with the hope that Frank would be proud.

"Some people say" that the Miracles of Zappadan stuff is a buncha hooey, but I disagree. During the first Zappadan in 2006, John Bolton resigned. Then last year, Sandy Underpants went to the registry of motor vehicles during Zappadan and got a new license plate with no lines, no waiting, and free donuts.

You can make a contribution by posting something about Frank or writing something up and sending it to the Aristocrats. You will be compensated for your effort with linky love, or a post to call your own at the Aristocrats.

Details here. Thanks.

Salon tonight on Skype 9 Eastern

Blue Gal's Salon 11/24 hosted by blue.gal.

Join now

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Chat about what's on your mind. More about public chats.

The (failed) politics of (failed) mommy-hood.

Yesterday morning was typical Sunday rough, finding not just church clothes for two girls who, just yesterday, got clothes put on them on a changing table. Now they refuse to wear tights today, while at school on Friday, tights were essential. And Mom! I Can't Wear That Dress. It's red, not dark pink! The boy, my oldest, is not picky about clothes, but he simply doesn't fit into anything at 9:30 am that would have fit him at 8:15, he's growing that fast. Let's not mention that none of MY shoes (except the ugly sneakers) fit over my own swollen but healing foot.

I am permanently and forever late for church.

And that stress is relatively minor. At some point soon I'm going to have to find a job. And then if one of the kids gets sick at school, God help me.

I'm a single mother and my story is common and tiresome, even to me. But during the past week or so a new refrain has accompanied the common stressors:

Hey, at least I never dropped them off in Nebraska.



The horrible parenting tragedies happened before the Nebraska Legislature cauterized a wound and forgot to bandage it with a 30-day old age limit. Before this past week, a silly loophole in a backwater state legislature (the last in the nation to pass a bill requiring hospitals to accept abandoned newborns no questions asked) allowed any parent of any minor to drop off their child in like manner.

The thirty-six walking, talking children who were abandoned in Nebraska as a result are a small fraction of those whose desperate parents didn't have the guts or the gas to make the trip. Two mothers drove over a thousand miles to find a place of safety for their teenagers. As this morning's Wall Street Journal law blog points out: "Many parents were using the Safe Haven law only as a last-case scenario, after exhausting every other avenue to help their deeply troubled children."

My heart especially goes out to the adoptive mother, Melyssa Cowburn, whose son was abandoned to her care by a meth addict birth mother in a big box store. "Could you watch him while I pick up some diapers" and she never returned. The emotionally disturbed child would be beyond the care of any one person.

The boy has broken Cowburn's nose, cut her forehead with a snow brush and left deep bruises from biting her calf. He has put a kitten inside an oven and blinded the family's parrot.

Cowburn cannot physically control the boy, who already weighs 63 pounds. Both she and her husband are about 5-foot-6 and slender. He kicks holes in walls. He urinated on the neighbor's dog and threw canned food off the balcony. ...[He] set fire to the shower curtain one day, then flooded the apartment the next, clogging the sinks and toilets.

She flew him to Nebraska.

The Nebraska Legislature's oversight, which was "corrected" on Saturday, is probably a blessing. It brought to light bigger holes in our nation's so-called safety net (kids at risk for gang membership in some states can't get services until they commit a crime?) and reminded others of the existence, still of Boy's Town and Big Brothers programs.

And of course this issue ties in with abortion and reproduction and who should be parents. It's not that some kids would be better off not born, or that some pro-lifers care more about the fetus than any actual child. It's the disconnect, the complete disconnect, that being born is tantamount to anyone's quality of life.

The wonderful New Yorker article Red Sex/Blue Sex (do go read the whole thing) points out how the GOP convention saw Bristol Palin's pregnancy not only as forgiveable, but a non-issue, since unmarried, unexpected teen pregnancy had happened in the family/church/social circle of every single delegate there. Abstinence? In Red State Nation you attach shame to sex and a kobosh on contraception but as long as there is no abortion, and, I suppose, the baby is baptized, Jesus and "society" are content.

And when the baptized baby is emotionally disturbed and later attempts to murder his sibling, there's always Nebraska. Or there was until Saturday.

An aside: the majority of babies born in the United States today are brought into this world via Medicaid. That's a hole in the insurance system and the job benefits system and the economy that is not over when the federal insurance coverage ends after birth. And don't get me started about the so-called "controversy" of whether Medicaid should pay for contraception.

It's high time we begin to handle the issue of quality of life for children. We have an administration soon that, we can hope, gets it. (I wish to God Hillary Clinton could have been Secretary of HHS rather than State. Talk about a "pit bull with lipstick" on behalf of children, no one has done more, and American kids still need that fierce advocacy.) I certainly hope Michelle Obama steps up to the plate. "Quality of Life for Children" has a nice post-Rovian ring to it. I hope I'm not sucking the emotional moisture out of this issue to say, demography is destiny. If we don't begin to cherish parenthood and make protecting children of every age a priority...

But no one is going to make parenting easier. We parents will deal with the stress of rejected red dresses on a Sunday morning, and everything, everything, that is more important than that, in the life of our children. Without some solid national priorities behind us, though, our country's future may as well be dropped off at the proverbial ER in Nebraska.



No video blog today. Salon tonight, see you then. - BG

Newsflash.

The person writing this blog is 78% woman. Or something like that.

Blue Gal Answers Your Sex Questions. Okay, not YOUR sex questions.

Just some anonymous person. Not even anyone you even know. Trust me.

1. No. I don't care how far you go to make your girlfriend look like a guy. If she's a GIRLfriend, and you are not doing it with any men whatsoever, then you are not bisexual. Ahem, "accoutrements" to your girlfriend do not count as actual male anatomy, ever, no matter where she puts them. Okay, no linky, I've already said too much.

2. No. You don't get to sue McDonald's because some employee downloaded the naked pictures of your wife from the cellphone you left there by accident. You act as though no one has ever seen what your wife's got. On the internet. On a cellphone pic.

Wait. You had to MOVE because naked pictures of your wife are on the internet? If you live in Utah, maybe. But you're Phillip Sherman and his wife, Tina, and you live in Arkansas. It's all over Yahoo News. Give it up, dude.

3. If making your eye look like this requires ten shades of eyeshadow from a product line that includes twenty different numbered brushes just for eyes...

...if, when you are given a school assignment to write about what you enjoy, and the first thing that comes to mind is, makeup....

...if, when you write about eyeshadow, you use "getting married to it" as your chosen metaphor...

you have a fetish. Not judging you here. This is definitely a "hey, whatever turns you on" blog. But it's a fetish, and you might find, I dunno, chandelier bondage* to be less equipment-focused. Just make sure your mascara is waterproof.

*Yes, my google search hits were getting kinda skimpy.

Video Mashup by BG - Saturday Song

A little Julie London meets Rudolph Valentino. These ladies would never....

One small thing I hate about a failing economy.

The radio stations put Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer" in heavy rotation. Please make it stop.

Thanks but no thanks.

I'm very grateful anytime someone wants to link this blog.

Thank you very much, Left in Aboite and ex-lion tamer.

Tagging me for a meme is a bridge to nowhere. As a rule I follow the guidelines of Omnipotent Poobah's Anti-Tagging League.

I don't do memes for the same reason, I suppose, that I don't blog about what Digby said.*

It could be great, valuable, wonderful, etc., but other people are doing it, so I can do something else.

*Yeah, I just did blog What Digby Said. Just this once.

Closing Guantanamo, one cell at a time.

It's a start... [Reuters]:

Five of six Algerians must be released after nearly seven years of captivity at the U.S. military prison at Guantanamo Bay in Cuba, a federal judge ruled on Thursday in a setback for the Bush administration.

U.S. District Judge Richard Leon ruled from the bench after holding the first hearings under a landmark Supreme Court ruling in June that gave Guantanamo prisoners the legal right to challenge their continued confinement.

U.S. President-elect Barack Obama has promised to close the prison camp after he takes office in January. Meanwhile, U.S. judges in Washington are moving ahead with case-by-case reviews of about 200 detainee legal challenges.

Reading his ruling as the detainees listened in Guantanamo via a telephone hookup, Leon said the U.S. government failed to show the five detainees who had been living in Bosnia had planned to travel to Afghanistan to fight against U.S. forces.

Why do I suspect the U.S. Government never intended to show evidence in these cases? That the source of any supposed evidence could not be admitted in court?

This administration can't end soon enough.

Proof positive there are too many lawyers.

Because a bonafide douchebag was able to hire one. From Smoking Gun, h/t a much-loved reader and commenter:

Claiming that he has been unfairly branded a "douchebag" in the book "Hot Chicks with Douchebags," a Las Vegas man has filed a libel lawsuit against the volume's author and publisher.

Trust me, honey, HCwDB had you at "Las Vegas club promoter." And now your name is connected to the word "douchebag" on the internet.

As my regular readers know, Hot Chicks with Douchebags is one of my favorite places to laugh my guts out. The writing there is self-effacing, hilarious, and actually far kinder than the title would indicate.

And now with the lawsuit, Mister Douchebag1, you've arrived!

A video valentine for David Plouffe

Not my actual ankle X-Ray

...but an extraordinary, uncanny likeness.

The bone is healed, the cast is off. I'm taking little baby steps around the house getting used to being on my own two feet again.

Thanks for all the support and good wishes. You guys are the best.

And by the way, if you have any more bloggy support to give in the form of Paypal cash, it's not my turn.

It's Shakespeare's Sister's turn.

Help if you can, and thanks.



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You can't blame Obama...

...just because the first eighty-one attorneys general had, for the most part, serious skin pigment deficiencies.

Photos of past AG's from here, running the gamut from pinkish beige to cream, mostly.

Congratulations, Mister Holder. Being AG is the same as commenting on a blog, rule number one, "don't be an asshole." Gonzales and Mukasey kinda failed there. Gonzales was actually a complete fucking asshole. And he gets no points off for being unusually non-white.

We've heard rumors that our new AG-elect doesn't like the Patriot Act. That would be a good place to START.