I Am Now Officially the Mother of a Teenager

Happy Birthday, Junior Dude.

Off topic:

This DIY baby mask thing was designed as a cute way to greet your mother on Mother's Day morning. But my response would be....

Please children, you're creeping me out and making me think of the closing scene of Brazil.

Podcast is rendering.  Up in a bit....

In Which The Professional Left Podcast Pulls a Scott Brown

I'm working on the press release to promote the 100th Episode of The Professional Left Podcast, and I wonder if to save time I could just use the Scott Brown Summer Intern Trick and copy someone else's work.  Would any one notice?

THE Internet, somewhere near a cornfield Illinois., Oct 11, 2011 (NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WIRE) -- The Professional Left Podcast, a pioneer in the development of swearing on i-Tunes known as "podcasting" and now a member of the liberal media cabal, celebrates 100 episodes of operation on November 4, 2011.

"The Professional Left Podcast has played a critical role in the development of many successful commercial, industrial and consumer cuss words early in the 21st Century," said Driftglass, chief executive officer of Professional Left parent company, DGBG Podcast. "The innovative swear words  produced by company founders Driftglass and Blue Gal provide an excellent example to all liberal bloggers today."

The Professional Left started out as a small endeavor, producing such precision cuss words as "fucknozzle," "Loesch-lips," and "Brownback."   By late 2010, the gearmotor was born when the company mounted a small motor to a miniature speed reducer to provide the display industry with a complete package.  Thus the swear word, "You betcha, Palin!" was born. 

During World War II, The Professional Left's facilities were, of course, converted to defense production. After the war, the podcast helped develop new automated methods that allowed family farms to be more profane and manufactured cuss words for the vending machine, cup dispensing and pinball industries.

While copying this press release, Blue Gal pointed out to Driftglass that "gearmotor tool," when combined with "fuck" or "dumbass" in myriad combinations,  might be implemented by the podcast into any number of names for a GOP Presidential candidate or New York Times columnist. 

The Professional Left global podcasting footprint includes Crooks and Liars, Netroots Nation Radio, and Changzhou, China, and they are celebrating their 100th episode with employee events throughout the year.  

original here

Another Jobs Bill Email From My Congressman!

Congressman John Shimkus (R, Coal) poses with

beneficiaries of his "Coal Ash Deregulation Jobs Bill"

Yeah yeah, it's a photoshop.  Those kids were digging coal in 1938.  Nothing similar between that year and today whatsoever. 

And thank the Good Lord I got an email from Mr. Shimkus this morning letting me know that the House of Representatives is on the job, and the subject line of his email, I am not making this up, cut and paste:

5 Bipartisan Jobs Bills Pass the House

You betcha I opened that email.  Again, here's a direct, cut and paste quote, emphasis mine:

Last week's passage of legislation to ease the regulatory burdens on the boiler and coal ash industries as well as passage of Free Trade Agreements with Panama, Columbia and South Korea were a major, bipartisan victory for American workers and job creators. I'm exceptionally pleased with all five of these jobs bills and look forward to their speedy passage in the Senate. 

I also think Congressman Shimkus is being WAY too modest, not even mentioning all the abortion jobs bills the House is working on.  

I guess it's nice for his coal lobbying friends that he got their amendment passed and for now the EPA can't count coal ash as a hazardous waste.  I just wonder what kind of House of Representatives travel voucher my kids can get when their jobs bill employment moves them to South Korea.  

Update, 9:58 am:

The good news for Michele Bachmann

Iggy Pop's music will, 

at long last, 

reveal the full force of his anger.

The Professional Left Podcast Ep 97

Links for this episode:

Driftglass has a tweet featured on MaddowBlog

Raymond’s resignation from Conservatism on Facebook

The button above is available in the Cafepress Store.

The button below allows listeners to throw a contribution specifically towards the podcast.  Thanks for your listenership and support!  We really appreciate it:

Thanks again to Frank Chow for the graphic and Heather at Crooks and Liars Video Cafe for their help. And don't forget you can listen to our archives for free with no downloads or registration at Professional Left.

Our Weekly Podcast - The Professional Left

Links for this episode:

Michelle Bachmann’s bad lip reading dub (at Crooks and Liars Open Thread)

Susie Bright on the impact of Steve Jobs

We are the 99 Percent Tumblr blog


The button above is available in the Cafepress Store.

The button below allows listeners to throw a contribution specifically towards the podcast.  Thanks for your listenership and support!  We really appreciate it:

Thanks again to Frank Chow for the graphic and Heather at Crooks and Liars Video Cafe for their help. And don't forget you can listen to our archives for free with no downloads or registration at Professional Left.

There, fixed it.

This image making the rounds at Tumblr Knitting needed a caption:

I'm fortunate -- I've never been so bitter that I would waste knitting time.

Our Weekly Podcast - The Professional Left Ep 95

Links for this episode:

Frank Rich channels Driftglass.
Paul Krugman channels Driftglass. 
Greg Sargent at Wapo channels Driftglass.
Jay Rosen channels Driftglass. 
“SPENT” game from Urban Ministries of Durham.
Bachmann warns of Hezbollah missile sites in Cuba.

The button above is available in the Cafepress Store.

The button below allows listeners to throw a contribution specifically towards the podcast.  Thanks for your listenership and support!  We really appreciate it:

Thanks again to Frank Chow for the graphic and Heather at Crooks and Liars Video Cafe for their help. And don't forget you can listen to our archives for free with no downloads or registration at Professional Left.

She never shrinks from a challenge....

Because of this.

And because while it's never okay to make fun of poor people, white trash is always in season.

Please read this out loud for fun.  But don't ask me to do any shackling photoshops.  I save those for Callista Gingrich:

"Through my process of decision-making with my family and my close friends as to whether I should throw my name in the hat for the GOP nomination for 2012 – Is a title worth it? Does a title shackle a person?" Palin said Tuesday night on the Fox News show "On the Record."

"Someone like me who's a maverick? I do go rogue and I call it like I see it and I don't mind stirring it up in order to get people to think and debate aggressively to find solutions to the problems that our country is facing," Palin continued.

"Somebody like me, is a title and a campaign too shackling? Does that prohibit me from being out there and out of a box, not allowing handlers to shape me and to force my message to be what's going on, or what contributors or political pundits want it to be?" Palin said.

It is clear to me that she thinks of the Presidency of the United States as equal to representing Alaska in the Miss USA pageant.

Tough news.

Driftglass got laid off this morning. Sigh. He's spending next week at the countryhouse... hopefully we can get his resume out to some outfits down here so ProLeft doesn't have to be long distance any more. In the meantime, the good news is that one percent (1%) of our podcast listeners made a $5.00 or more contribution to the podcast this week. That was our goal (up from point three three percent) and we're very grateful to each of you who threw some scratch in the hat.   It makes a difference, not just to our bank account, but to our spirits.  Thank you.

Spot the difference.

To paraphrase Orwell, if you want a vision of the future, imagine a police state terrorizing a woman, forever.  

Palin threatens to sue about the cocaine thing and the sex with a black NBA guy thing.

So if she sues, McGinniss's lawyers get to search her personal records for findings to defend their client.

And she has to prove that he lied.

Also, in keeping with her narcissistic M.O., she threatens to sue all the time.

Very few people have defended McGinniss and his piece o' trash.  And frankly, I don't care who Palin screwed (and yeah I don't think the euphemism "slept with" is at all accurate) or even what drugs she took back in the 80's.  She's screwing the political process by abusing campaign finance laws with her stupid bus tour, and she's screwing the national political dialogue by pretending she has any qualifications to participate in it.  Those issues are relevant.  McGinniss's hatchet job is not.

And the lawsuit thing?  How about we revisit that after we all stop laughing.

What's stopping us?

click for larger

Click image for larger; text from here.

Our Weekly Podcast, The Professional Left Ep 94

Links for this episode:

Scooter Libby ignored at the Tucker Carlson website launch party.
Jerry Brown dealing with a new Republican opposition in California.

The button above is available in the Cafepress Store.

The button below allows listeners to throw a contribution specifically towards the podcast.  Thanks for your listenership and support!  We really appreciate it:

Thanks again to Frank Chow for the graphic and Heather at Crooks and Liars Video Cafe for their help. And don't forget you can listen to our archives for free with no downloads or registration at Professional Left.

I am NOT Troy Davis. (click image for larger)

click for larger

Text from here.

Our Weekly Podcast - The Professional Left Ep 93

Links for this episode:

David Gergen reports "offensive" debate behavior.

Lawrence O'Donnell goes full Driftglass

David Corn on liars at the GOP debates.

The button above is available in the Cafepress Store.  The button below allows listeners to throw a contribution specifically towards the podcast.  Thanks for your listenership and support!  We really appreciate it:

Thanks again to Frank Chow for the graphic and Heather at Crooks and Liars Video Cafe for their help. And don't forget you can listen to our archives for free with no downloads or registration at Professional Left.

The GOP Jobs Bill Comix

Via Our Future dot org, "Speaker Boehner to propose more tax cuts for the wealthy, call it a "jobs" plan, at 12:30 PM today, reports Politico."

The GOP Debate I'd Like to See....

With all "due" respect to Wolf Blitzer, I'd like the next GOP debate to be hosted by Bridal Bling Blue Gal (TM) and Kathy Griffin.

BBBG:  Welcome to tonight's debate.  I'd like to start by picking up an issue from the last debate, the 30 year old uninsured guy in a coma who the tea party audience wants dead.

Kathy Griffin:  I take it his last name isn't "Schiavo."

BBBG:   Right.  What if an uninsured 30-year-old  accidentally fell off a bridge when, in an incident no one could have foreseen, the bridge in a Republican district collapsed underneath him because the Republican Congressional Delegation had cut taxes for billionaires so much, that no one could afford to maintain an existing bridge?

Kathy Griffin:  I think the Congressional delegation was so busy de-funding Planned Parenthood they didn't notice the bridge was broken.

BBBG:  But what if the uninsured 30-year-old's parents were Roman Catholic culture-of-life types and had purchased several hundred copies of Callista Gingrich's Pope Video?

Kathy Griffin:  Or what if the guy himself was a dominionist who didn't have money for health insurance because he gave it all to Pray Away The Gay Ministries?

BBBG:  Or what if this bridge collapsed AFTER the repeal of Obamacare, and he didn't have insurance because the insurance company cancelled his coverage due to the pre-existing condition of...

Both:   THE CRACKED BRIDGE!  

BBBG:  We'll just have to put an asterisk next to the repeal of Obamacare, so Republican Donor pro-life Catholic Anti-Gay Ministry types won't have to pay.

Kathy Griffin:  They never do.

BBBG:  We'll be back after the break, when Kathy and I will ask the candidates about balanced budgets and bringing more freedom to Wall Street.

Choreographed by Marcus Bachmann, Costumes by Reince Priebus and Ken Mehlman.

Our Weekly Podcast - The Professional Left Ep 92

Note:  I get a little emotional in this episode but my husband talks me down. :)

The button above is available in the Cafepress Store.  The button below allows listeners to throw a contribution specifically towards the podcast.  Thanks for your listenership and support!  We really appreciate it:

Thanks again to Frank Chow for the graphic and Heather at Crooks and Liars Video Cafe for their help. And don't forget you can listen to our archives for free with no downloads or registration at Professional Left.