See, I blog here every day. But when I find something that is off-color, might offend, or is just over the top, I post it over there. My fellow Aristocrats, three wonderful guys named Paul, Mark, and Sandy Underpants (the shy 'Ristie) tolerate my over-the-topness with sense of mild bemusement, and unlike many women who are on the internet with three guys at once, I've never been subjected to that "gagging's good, baby" mumbo-jumbo. 'Nuff said.
So yesterday I took a chance and posted about tampons. Not just regular tampons, but Christmas Angel Ornaments made out of tampons.
Now you've got to admit that is adorable.>>>>>>
For your information, tampons can be purchased in a box of 40, which is just enough angels for a six-foot tree with lights.
Oh. You can read the tampon post here. I was a little worried that the boys might get mad at me for taking over and making Aristocrats into a Christmas Craft blog but to their amazing credit Mark and Sandy didn't even blink. (Paul is recovering from surgery and I didn't want to call him about the tampon thing. Also, he might celebrate Kwanza, and Toni Morrison's book of tampon crafts isn't out yet.)
I stayed up late last night and created a parallel universe entirely from tampons. it's just like this universe except tampon John Kerry is an ice cream truck driver.
And Mark said:
I went to a Christmas party once where the tree was decorated with tampons AND reefers. Sure you had to be careful about what you smoked, but there was also the possibility that you could have the best period ever.
Speaking of best periods ever, emailing back and forth about my wonderful co-bloggers with another one, Captain Dyke, I was pleased to see that a number of menstrual product-placement experts have given Gmail Adsense a try. And given that hey, I clicked on all the ads in preparation for this post, they'll probably put up lots more period-cork and douchebag ads in the future, so I'd be careful about emailing anyone about Prince Charles or Rahm Emanuel, if I were you.
Did you know that Playtex has just come out with a "Sport Tampon"? So that while you are having your period, you can still do this:
I dunno if I can wait an entire twenty-eight days to try that, because I can't do that on my okay days, if you know what I mean.
But Playtex Sport Tampons are not for me because I object on ecology grounds to a plastic applicator. (Okay girls, I realize it's just you and me for the rest of this post; frankly, I think we lost most of the men back at the 40-to-a-box statement. Moving on.) For the real ecology minded set, there are cotton pads that are washable, and this site is so supportive that they not only sell them, they give you a pattern so you can sew your own. So we come full circle to the craft blog thing again. I love the care instructions:
Machine dry or hang to dry. Iron if you want.
My Neighborhood Association by-laws forbid line drying of clothing, though they don't mention menstrual pads specifically. And yeah, to relax, I'm going to iron my menstrual pads in my spare time.