Thursday, November 9

Memo to Congress and SCOTUS

There is a constituency of women who are good Christians and love their babies AND have had to make incredibly painful decisions about reproduction.

Blue Gal is one of that constituency.

Infertility treatment. Blood drawn up to three times a week,which made the veins in my arms that made me look like an addict.

Surgery where they took my uterus out of my body cavity and operated on it. No shit. Condemned me to three C-sections, no complaints there, but if I HAD gone into labor it would have been possibly life-threatening and definitely fertility threatening. Doctor knew best. Get it?

Success. Weekly ultrasounds. Finding out it was twins one week.

Being told the twin was a "demise" the second week.

You boys on the court (no offense, Ruth) are tossing around the term "demise" when the pro-life lawyers for the fundies want everyone to think "baby-killing doctors."

I did not kill my baby. I probably would never have known that second embryo existed had my treatment not included ultrasounds.

I have
children. I weep for women who have to have medical procedures done that terminate very wanted pregnancies in order to save their own lives. That is what happens.

These painful decisions are between a woman and her doctor and her God. Congress shall make no law...period.

Memo to the new Congress: Welcome. There are less Republicans now, and a woman in charge. I hope that makes a difference.

Loving mothers of wanted children: some of us lost our children in war, some of us lost our children before birth. Some of us are blessed with children, some bless children without having any of our own. We are ALL watching you. Just. Don't. Fuck. With. Us.


  1. Preaching to the choir, Blue Gal.


    I definitely believe a person should have children if they're a) prepared to support them, b) able to bring them into a loving home, and c) able to raise them properly.

    If you feel that you cannot do all three, then you do have some options.

  2. From a man who has fathered 4 wanted & cared for children...well said!

  3. Beautifully put. The picture you put there sums it up nicely, too.

  4. Cheers Blue Gal. Thank you for saying that and sharing your painful experiences with us. It makes us stronger. I wish these people had someone like you to answer to. Maybe they do, but it's a high standard, so it's doubtful.

  5. Five pregnancies. Two kids. You are coming across loud and clear.

  6. You know, it really pisses me off when people -- especially those of the male persuasion -- say they are pro-choice, but not in favor of abortion as birth control. When you say that you make it sound like you believe there are irresponsible women out there having unprotected sex because they know they can just go get an abortion. Well, let me tell you something -- an abortion is no picnic in the park. It is painful and unpleasant, not to mention expensive. At $500 ( and no, most insurance does not cover abortions) I doubt many women are thinking, "Oh, a diaphragm is too messy, I'll just get an abortion." And if they are? What business of yours or mine is it?

    My childbearing story? It runs the gamut, but was 6 pregnancies in all. 3 children, one of whom died in infancy. One miscarriage. 2 unplanned pregnancies as the result of failed birth control -- and I made the responsible decision to abort because our family couldn't afford more children, and as someone who suffers from pretty constant depression I knew I could not be a good mom to my other children if I had more babies. I have 2 amazing daughters, and every day I think lovingly of my daughter who died. Sometimes I wonder about who those other pregnancies might have become, but I know I made the right decision each time.

    Men -- if you want to support abortion rights, that's wonderful. But don't add any qualifiers. "Rare." "Not used as birth control." Etc. If abortion is going to be safe and legal, it will be as rare as it is. It's either safe and legal, or it isn't. Trust women to make good choices about their bodies, however often and whatever form it takes.


  7. Suzy, my apologies you took offense to my comment.

    However, let me say that I hold irresponsible people (male or female) quite responsible for their sins.

    I respectfully disagree with you. There ARE irresponsible women out there who are having unprotected sex and contemplating abortion as birth control. Some of them think "*shrug* oh well, I can just have an abortion". Trust me. I am friends with some. I almost married one.

    Some of them are irresponsible and they don't think to use proper protection beforehand and then once with child their immediate thought is..."Oh well, guess I'll have an abortion".

    I don't have a lot of sympathy for that sort of callous selfishness and disregard for oneself.

    What business is it of mine? Lots. I have to deal with grown children all day long that probably would have been better off had their mommies and daddies not even bothered conceiving them.

    Can't afford 'em! Don't want 'em! Don't even love 'em! *thunk*

    If that sounds callous, I do apologize. But I grow increasingly tired of people who act as though they were born with their hand extended outward saying "gimme gimme now now now".

    The fact that so many people are born to irresponsible parents and born with no sense of delayed gratification not only makes me angry, I believe it is what is seriously wrong with this world.

    You made the right decision. Kudos.

    I agree with you more than you may think. Kindly do not jump to conclusions next time.

  8. This post gave me goosebumps and brought tears to my eyes.

    Thank you for having the courage to say these things.

  9. BG,
    I'm with you. Mrs. Poobah and I faced a similar situation about 18 years back. It ain't easy. I can attest.

  10. I may be mistaken, but I can sum up the Republican policy easily: "The right to life ends at birth." or "pull yourself up by your own damn bootstraps, baby."



  11. Th'love be there for me fine BlogMate! Tell th'Three, Lil' DeckMonkeys that they be blessed t'be havin' such a Fierce TigerMommy! Hmmmm, sounds like th'title o' a childrens' story t'me...

    Anywho, m'Darlin', what ye say be more than a belief, it be th'certain-sure knowledge o' someone who has been there. NO. ONE. ELSE. can say a frickin' thing more unless they have been there with ye. That should silence a lot of guff out there.

    Sail on, Me Archduchess; sail on. Me dark heart be with ye.

  12. I suspect that a large part of the contentiousness that surrounds the debate of abortion rights is because it is such a personal, and oftentimes emotional, decision. Further complicating the matter is the fact that the decision ultimately must reside with the mother, because it is her body, by default, that is most affected by the pending pregnancy. As a man, I don't like that I might be written out of any decision involving progeny of mine, but in the grand scheme of things, it's not my body holding the aforementioned potential progeny.

    I, personally, don't agree with the taking of life in any form; however, I am a meat eater, I eat plants, and while I forget the count, I know that I slough off millions of cells every day, some still alive, some not. But these are all personal choices that I make. At the same time, I try to not step on any insects that I can see, and when walking down the street, I have to play dodge-lizard with my feet to make sure I don't step on any of them, either.

    If I want to kill some cells by drinking alcohol, as long as I don't interfere with other peoples' lives, I feel that no one else has the right to involve themselves in my affairs. If I want to kill some cells by smoking pot, or doing club drugs, 'shrooms, as long as I am not harming others, why should someone have the right to stop me?

    Attempts at legislating morality have always involved people interested in salaciousness and gossip getting involved in others' lives, trying to tell them "the right way to live is..."

    The real "right way to live" is however you want to live, as long as you're not interfering with another's right to live.

    This may be a simplistic way to view it, but I've never heard of anyone being let down by it.

  13. And THEN we begin a discussion of "another's right to live" and the fetus.

    Not here, babes. This has been contentious enough. Turning off comments on this post. If you want to email me on the topic feel free, but we are not going to resolve the larger abortion issue here. Ever. Moving on.